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CurtisD

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CurtisD last won the day on February 25

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  1. Now the original thread has moved to the Timeless section I do not seem to be able to add another comment. Hopefully someone more tech savvy than me can connect this to the original thread. While I do not think there is any way to guarantee a good experience, there are a few things that can be done to improve the chances of one, many of which are expanding on the points listed by DivineMadman. The description below indicates something fairly obvious. A majority of the factors determining whether or not we have a good experience are up to us, not up to the guy. Unless we recognize this, criticizing the guys is pointless and cheap. The success of the evening depends on two phases. (i) Selecting the guy in the club. (ii) The relationship established with the guy after selecting him. I have structured a lot of deals in my time. When they go bad it is almost never about aspects of the technical structuring. Bad deals usually reflect poor understanding of the human element. This goes quadruple for an interpersonal transaction like an off. Yes you are paying, but this does not make you god, dictator, puppet master or even desirable for the duration. The payment only gets the guy into the bedroom. How well he does what you would like him to do depends on how you treat him and how you make him feel. This is not finance. This is recognition, esteem and a human connection. (A) In the Club Selecting a guy in the club is the more ‘technical’ part of the evening. More information is better than less information, so I enlist the help of the mamasans. I have a much higher success rate when I use the mamasans for information than when I wing it. Their input helps to narrow the field to guys who are most likely to be compatible. I addition to checking which guys are gay and who does what, I also ask who has already had an off that evening as while the guys have the energy of youth they are not supermen. In terms of the guy’s behavior on stage, on a scale of no-eye-contact-immersed-in-cell-phone to wagging-erect-dick-in-face, I have had the best connection with guys who make eye contact and smile but who are not overt about it. They are watching you, so when you look at them and make eye contact they smile back, but they are not blatantly trying to get your attention. Maybe they are a bit shy or they are simply not extraverts. I find this a better indicator of real interest than a guy who too-actively markets himself. I agree with Paborn that the price of a drink to get to know a guy better is money well spent. Facetime with a guy gives you a lot of clues as to how compatible you might be. More so if you are not drunk. If my mission for the evening is to off a guy I do not drink alcohol, or drink very little, until I have chosen a guy. A major life lesson has been that alcohol impairs judgement. My only bad experiences picking up guys generally, not just Thailand, have been when I had a few too many drinks in me. (B) After Leaving the Club Now you have chosen a guy and sealed a deal, it is totally up to you how things work out. You now have to get the guy into a zone in which he is happy to be with you. This is personal chemistry not money. At its most basic this is showing an interest in him, showing him respect, consideration and making him comfortable. Ask him if he is hungry and, if he is, offer to buy him something. I make it clear I am not hungry, this is for him. Then he is likely to pick some street food he likes and he is comfortable. If I suggest I am also hungry a guy is likely to think we have to go somewhere I like, which may not be so much to his taste. This is about helping him to be comfortable, not feeding me. Find something to admire in his street outfit and complement him. Back in the hotel ask him if he would like a drink. Be the first to suggest a shower. Thai guys are into clean. Have a spare tooth brush for him to use and suggest it is ok if he wants to experiment with any of your products. Take his lead on whether or not he wants to shower together. Some guys, particularly bottoms, may want privacy to prep themselves. The infallible indicator of a successful evening to come is if the guy returns from the bathroom erect. In bed spend time on foreplay and check again what he does and does not do. If he is comfortable with you his repertoire may have expanded since the club. You get the picture. Your experience is really “up to you”.
  2. This really is a trip down memory lane. I remember seeing that show.
  3. I second that. A great read thanks.
  4. GWMinUS, I think your first bar, Tomahawk, is probably the same one I went to my second night and connected with Lesson-in-Reality-Guy. Small World.
  5. Syphilis is contracted by physical contact with someone who is in an infective stage of the disease. Someone in an infective stage will have one or more sores and it is contact with these sores which transmits the disease, which is what makes condoms effective protection. In the early stage of the disease the sore(s) will be at the initial point of infection. eg on the penis or around the genital area (usually identifiable), in the anus (hard to see), in the mouth (can be hard to see). In a later stage they may appear in other places also. I enjoy kissing too and am not going to give it up. I just take enough precautions to feel comfortable. In addition to condoms my basic precaution is in three parts. (a) Enjoy a shower with your partner pre sex. Use this to subtly check him for signs of sores. (b) Enjoy some foreplay and use the opportunity to subtly check for sores. (b) Wash promptly after sex, including washing the body parts most used with a sterilizing agent. Medical alcohol for the genitals and anus, mouth wash for the mouth. I always offer this to the guys I am with, partly to remove any perception that I think they are 'unclean' compared to me and partly as good practice. Happy Kissing!
  6. Peter, I suspect I owe you a very large thank you for ten years of uninterrupted fun. If our paths cross in Bangkok it will be my pleasure to stand you a substantial number of cocktails.
  7. Wow! Thank you for setting them straight! You must have, as I never had any problems in the roughly ten years I used it as my base until around 2005, by which time it was a Four Seasons.
  8. BiggusDikkus’s excellent account of his first experience of Bangkok planted the idea that a thread on ‘First Encounters’ with the City of Angels could be entertaining. Here is mine to kick things off. Before landing the story in Bangkok I need to back up a little as I had a vicarious familiarity with Bangkok long before I first visited. My perfect gentleman of a father (on one occasion, after finding a slug in his salad, he wrapped it in lettuce, doused it in dressing and ate it to avoid any embarrassment to his hostess) spent time in Japan and South East Asia on business in the 1960s/70s. He was very nice and very slightly naughty. As a child I was fascinated by beautifully produced Geisha House books he brought back from Japan, full of oval pictures of perfectly made-up young women. He and my mother were each other’s best friend so whatever he found to amuse himself, it was done with her knowledge and if not blessing then at least understanding. My parents had a broad outlook and so my being gay was a practical issue not a moral one. They had gay friends. The World was tough on homosexuals (the then term-of-use). This was unfortunate but a fact. How could they help? They lead me to believe that sex is enjoyable, even more so if you and your partner have a connection. Nothing wrong with casual sex, but avoid becoming fixated on mere physical sex. Sex is also a mental pleasure, which is why a connection is so important. To balance the enjoyment, there are risks. Life is a bugger. No Free Lunch and No Free Hedonism. Unplanned pregnancy can be a major life problem (although you are probably free of that one) as are diseases. Particularly syphilis (this was pre-AIDS). To clarify the point for a fifteen year old they gave me some quite advanced and very graphically illustrated medical texts. The autopsied syphilitic brain looking like a Swiss cheese was a standout image. To paraphrase my father “Swimming is great fun. Try to only swim in clean water. If you suspect the water may be less than clean, cover up properly and wash thoroughly afterwards, in which effort medicinal alcohol is useful”. So I was launched into the World with few hang-ups about my sexuality, open to and aware of the pleasures of the flesh and totally paranoid about STDs. Even with raging teenage hormones the image of the brain-as-Swiss-cheese could deflate my dick in seconds. Preparing for my first encounter with Bangkok in the pre-internet age my advance research was undertaken at the local gay bookstore. My father recommended his hotel, which is now the Anantara by Ratchadamri BTS but which back then may have been a Peninsula as that was his regular chain, and assured me that the Thais were very charming and open minded people and that I would like them. In Bangkok, ensconced at the now-Anantara, I made a strategic decision that I soon reversed. I was not sure exactly who I would encounter at the clubs and, despite my father’s assurances of open-mindedness, I could not picture myself walking comfortably through that stunning lobby with a pickup. Guided by my gay guide I went to the Tarntawan and reserved a room for recreational purposes. Friday, my first evening free of business obligations and I am excited. I have a map. I have a rec room. Krung Thep, mon amour! However, there is No Free Hedonism. As I am about to going swimming in possibly less-than-clean water, I am possessed by an almost paralyzing fear of Swiss-cheese-brain-syndrome. It takes several sazeracs to reduce this to manageable dimensions before I launch myself into the night. The hotel porter whistles up a cab (this is pre-BTS), I give the cab driver my destination and into the traffic we go. The driver looks at me in the mirror. ‘You like boy?’. Yeesss, I carefully reply. “I take you better bar”. I feel a surge of almost crazy elation. Yes, he is probably going to his friend’s bar where he gets a commission, but these people are relaxed. I decide to go with the flow. I have a map. ‘Ok’. I have no idea where he took me. Starting several sazeracs in and then continuing to drink at bar after bar, I have only a sketchy memory of the evening. I wanted to see it all and my memory is a blur of many bars, many boys and tip jars swallowing many red notes. All fun. It was all huge fun, even if I can’t recall the details. Finally I took a guy off from a bar that had an aquatic show. Tall, elegant, looking wonderful in speedos. Charming. And very understanding of someone with a few too many drinks in him. He took me to a hole in the wall restaurant for carbs and coffee. Possibly I was worth sobering up as, back then, I had thick floppy bond hair and a trim swimmers build. Possibly, understandably, he did not enjoy the fumbling of drunks. We spent several sensuous hours in mutual exploration and pillow talk. He was a student. This was how he financed his studies. How long was I in Bangkok? Not long enough, I thought. Departing in the morning we ran a gauntlet of stares from much older farang breakfasting with last night’s offs. The kind of detached lust-absorbed stares of people trying to picture you naked, people whose conversation is best avoided as it is often distasteful. The people who in my then-not-so-far-back youth had caused me to stop going to gay clubs and switch allegiance to jazz bars. I began to dislike the Tarntawan. In the evening I headed out to reconnect with Elegant-in-Speedos. Pre-Line, pre-iphone, pre-internet there was no easy way to remain in touch. I had to go back to the bar. But which bar? At the time I was not sure it was the aquatic one. Exploration is fun. I began at Tawan, planning to do the rounds in an efficient non-drinking manner until I found the right bar. Leaving Tawan I was accosted by the tout from a small bar across the soi. Many boy, you like! It was a small shabby bar with maybe eight guys who upon my entry mounted the stage and gyrated in a semi-sensual vaguely come-hither torpor. All except one and that one guy worked it with every asset and move he had. He was the most masculine of the group. An intelligent lively face, deep brown, solid muscle on a slender frame and large hands and feet which accurately indicated the potential of his endowment. In bed at the Tarntawan after showering together I am in sexual overdrive. This guy is hot. And then, the third time he removes my exploring hand from between his stunning buns, he holds it against my chest and gives me a polite but firm lesson in reality. He like girl. Have girlfriend. Have men sex as it pay a lot more than construction. While I am customer, he is himself, has boundaries, I need to respect them and him. It had never occurred to me that any guy working gogo would be anything but gay (naivety) or that anything within my vanilla repertoire would be off-limits (arrogance). He sees these thoughts on my face and smiles, pulls close and says ‘Here what I do’. I tell him what I do and then, as two tops, we proceed to make each other feel good. Within his boundaries he is very sexual. Why is more of the World not like this? After showering we leave together, him to his girlfriend and me to the more comfortable accommodations of the now-Anantara. It is around 1am and in the lobby I again encounter the gauntlet of stares from the sexually-fixated. Now I dislike the Tarntawan. Sunday, my final free evening, I reconnect with Elegant-in-Speedos. Looking at him in his street clothes I think I would not at all mind being seen with him at the now-Anantara. So that is where we go. We have cocktails and Thai food from the twenty four hour menu in the lobby. No one stares. In the room there is a bowl of red spiky Thai fruit which I have not been sure how to approach. His eyes light up and he shells one for each of us. They have a sweet and slightly scented taste. Our lips lock in a sweet and scented kiss. I looked for him the next time I visited Bangkok. ‘How long you not here? He graduate, go home’. The beginning of a cycle. A long and enjoyable cycle. Long may it last!
  9. Biggus, I greatly enjoyed your reminiscence of your first time in Bangkok and it made me think that a thread on 'First Encounters' might be entertaining. Following your lead I have written up my first trip to Bangkok but do not want to divert this thread if you plan to use it for a report on your current trip. If you plan to use this thread to write up your current trip, let me know and I will start a new thread on First Encounters. On the other hand, if it is ok with you to divert this thread to First Encounters, with your permission I will add a report on my first ever trip to Bangkok here. Best regards, CD
  10. CurtisD

    G Boys

    This thread provides an object lesson in how bars differ on different occasions. G Boys was formerly the old XSize in Twilight. One of the first bars to relocate out of Twilight. As XSize its attraction was its range of twinks for all tastes from slightly fem to moderately built and a range of nationalities. Thai, Myanmar, Lao, Cambodian, Vietnamese. However, it was variable. Some nights a stage packed with a multinational array of charming twinks. Some nights walk up the stairs, look, and with a rueful smile descend back to street level. Often on these occasions the authorities were cracking down on non-Thai guys. I had some of my best experiences with guys from there, also the worst. One of the mamasans was my pick for All Time Most Irritating, and I usually get on well with mamasans. Last trip I wanted to see it in its new location and, based on that one visit, I would go back. Twinks of all types, multiple nationalities, two stand-outs. But only three customers. Although to be fair it was quite early. That was September. Now we have reports that December was muscle and January rough trade. My guess is that the Soi Wall Street location is not helping business. Go and take a look. If it is a good night, great. If not, just appraise the room, smile and leave.
  11. CurtisD

    Food

    BenG1000, there are several countries such as India and Egypt where I follow your Bali routine of no raw food, no fish, no unpeeled fruit, only bottled sparkling mineral water (as it is more difficult for a faker to re-use a bottle and replicate sparkling water) etc. Thailand is not on the list. In fact it is the only country in which I will eat street food. Yes, this is pretty conservative, but I don't have time to be sick. I do not drink the tap water, but I have been known to forget and brush my teeth with it and I am also not all that worried about getting water in my mouth when I shower. So far no ill effects. Ice I am ok with in a cocktail at a high end bar - no ill effects so far. Otherwise - eg ice in a smoothie in a market or on the street - no. Whether I need to be this careful in Bangkok I am not sure, it may just be habitual when traveling. I have only been sick from food once in Thailand, from a fish lunch in Pattaya, and even that was pretty mild on the stomach upset scale. Bangkok has a huge range of food options, from street food to Michelin Starred restaurants, and covering a wide range of cuisines. I recommend you explore the various options for Thai food. Beside avoiding things, I take two precautions when traveling. The first few days I always eat a local natural yoghurt with breakfast. I was told years ago that this helps to get 'good' local bugs into your stomach and helps it to adjust to local food. I rarely have stomach problems when traveling, so maybe this works. I also carry Pepto Bismol tablets just in case.
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