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bucknaway

Guys on layaway....

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This last trip, i met an Asian guy on vacation from a nearby country and we hit it off pretty good.  I even felt truly attracted to him differently then i feel with guys i just want to have sex with.

 

When it comes to guys i meet on vacation, I'm of the philosophy to kiss them, squeeze them, screw them and leave them.  There are a precious few i will see again and even fewer can get me to remember their name.

 

There is one guy in Pattaya I remember and will see again from BBB, one from Bangkok and one guy in Phuket.  I don't know their names and i doubt they know mine.

 

So last trip I met this guy on grinder, hot and masculine.  He asked for nothing and was good company as we made our way around the city malls.  We met again for street food and kept in touch through the line app once we were back in our own countries.

We exchanged pictures and talked a bit.  I purchased my tickets for April, he mentioned he wish he could come and before the day was done I purchased tickets for him to meet me in Bangkok in May.  

 

He is a student and mentioned he won't have much money and I told him I'll cover his expenses...  Now he is asking for me to find a Samsung note 8 phone.  He asked for it as a gift and I told him no,  he asked to go half and I told him no.  He asked for a 1/3 contribution from me and again I told him I would not put a single dollar to his phone.  Too harsh?

 

He will be sharing my Bangkok hotel with me for 3 days.  Would it be rude to spend 1 night with him and then put him up in his own room for the remaining 2 nights he is in town?  I only think about all the guys i could have coming in and out my door...  Too selfish?  Would i be cons8dered an old style Cad?

 

Him...  When i met him he had long thick hair cut into a bob, lean hard body and his clothes could not hide his muscle form.  He reminded me of a dark haired Justin Bieber.  No, i don't have a thing for Justin but i would not kick him off me...  He told me he just came from the gym but everytime I saw him, his body signified strength.

 

But still....  I want variety....  

 

Have any of you done something so silly as to put a guy on layaway only to have 2nd thoughts and want a return/refund?

 

 

 

 

 

 

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4 hours ago, bucknaway said:

 

He is a student and mentioned he won't have much money and I told him I'll cover his expenses...  Now he is asking for me to find a Samsung note 8 phone.  He asked for it as a gift and I told him no,  he asked to go half and I told him no.  He asked for a 1/3 contribution from me and again I told him I would not put a single dollar to his phone.  Too harsh?

 

He will be sharing my Bangkok hotel with me for 3 days.  Would it be rude to spend 1 night with him and then put him up in his own room for the remaining 2 nights he is in town?  I only think about all the guys i could have coming in and out my door...  Too selfish?  Would i be cons8dered an old style Cad?

 

I agree he is great looking

 

as for unsolicited gift giving  I don't see your refusal  to fund even 1/3 of his phone as too harsh. You did not offer it , feel free to refuse unless YOU want to contribute to it.

As for hotel arrangement if you arrange it beforehand and he agrees I don't think it's too selfish. Inviting him unexpectedly to that another room would be but not if  arranged in advance.

back in Jun 2015 I took guy from Pattaya for 5 days to BKK at his insistence . We discussed arrangements , I rented him a room in nearby hotel as mine was full already and promised him that from 5 nights at least 3 will be my  paid  bed warmer. It worked well with no drama on his part and actually we had one bonus night together when Tawan boy dumped me in mid bar

 

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7 hours ago, t0oL1 said:

betting that after 3 days with him he gets a Samsung as a going away gift. 

Brought a friend an iPhone 5 when I returned a year later

and it only cost me $150.

I will admit that after sleeping on it, I'm thinking about helping him, he tells me he will pay the $400 for a Note 8 phone found on eBay.  I'm thinking i may be willing to chip in enough to get him a note 9.  But I'm asking why I should do that?  I never spend that type of money on people that are not related to me, or friends that i think of as family.  I'm also thinking if i do this, he won't get it on day 1, but later on day 2, if he has his $400 USD portion as promised.

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If u want to support that boy's unrealistic lifestyles to give him boost of status among his friends, go ahead. Even if u give him money, he probably will spend on the phone anyway. For me, as long as the guy is worth it, id probably will spend as long as it doesnt hurt my wallet in the hope that he will be so grateful and repay me in bed lol

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1 hour ago, bucknaway said:

I will admit that after sleeping on it, I'm thinking about helping him, he tells me he will pay the $400 for a Note 8 phone found on eBay.  I'm thinking i may be willing to chip in enough to get him a note 9.  But I'm asking why I should do that?  I never spend that type of money on people that are not related to me, or friends that i think of as family.  I'm also thinking if i do this, he won't get it on day 1, but later on day 2, if he has his $400 USD portion as promised.

Having read all your posts since you joined this Forum, I think am safe in saying that you would not be wrestling with your decision  unless you wanted to help this boy. It is likely you will get more back than it costs you and as you say , you can afford it.

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I would because...

15 hours ago, bucknaway said:

He asked for nothing and was good company as we made our way around the city malls.  We met again for street food and kept in touch through the line app once we were back in our own countries.

He obviously made you very happy and was not greedy. I do not know the cost of the phone but I would contribute a reasonable amount and make it clear this is something you never do and prefer not to do, but are making an exception for him.  If his birthday is any time soon it can be expressed as a one-off gift. Or surprise him at the end of the trip as a reward for good behavior. I know how desperately these young poor boys yearn for phones and he’s probably been scrimping for months and is short of a certain amount.

Alternatively you can deny him the phone but take him shopping at H&M or elsewhere so it is clear gifts are possible but on your terms only. 

 

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You didn’t indicate if your Bangkok visit is only the 3 days in May when your friend is with you.  As you also mention ticket for an April visit.  If it’s only 3 days in total, start with your friend full time  if the chemistry isn’t there, be honest and put him up in another hotel  if the chemistry is there - stay with him.

On buying/ helping purchase - I’m no role model as I’ve bought a  phone for a gogo guy.  That was five years ago and haven’t done it since.  I run into him now and then and we have a good time  

 

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I am an expert on buying mobile phones for guys in Thailand. If you need any advice, let me know. ;)

Seriously, if you like him and you have the money, I don't see a big deal. But, I know you may not like to spend money on things like that, but in the end, most of us are very wealthy compared to most Thai guys. 

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It's not clear where the boy you are talking about comes from (which country).

Quote

He will be sharing my Bangkok hotel with me for 3 days.  Would it be rude to spend 1 night with him and then put him up in his own room for the remaining 2 nights he is in town?  I only think about all the guys i could have coming in and out my door...  Too selfish?  Would i be cons8dered an old style Cad?

That would be rude by my standards, i.e. I wouldn't treat anyone like that (unless agreed upon upfront).

As for the mobile phone. I don't have the newest / most expensive Samsung or iPhone as I can't justify the expense for myself, and even less for buying one for someone else. My current phone cost 10k THB. In principle I would spend the same on a phone as a gift for a boy, but i have yet to meet the boy who brought me so much happiness and who I consider deserves such a gift.

It's a vicious circle! Boys ask for a phone after sleeping with me once, some even before we meet. For that reason, I delay meeting them again, or don't meet them at all, so they can't bring me that much happiness to warrant that expense.

Recent case was the boy in Sakaew. We had a good time in bed and I would meet him again as soon as possible. But  he asked for a mobile phone (Samsung J6 for 7990 THB). For that reason, he went down in the list. Else, I would have gone to meet him again two or three weeks after, and if he had asked me after third meeting, I would probably have bought him the phone.

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I have given a variety of gifts to boys with whom I have spent time with in Pattaya. Usually hints and requests start after about three days and I’m sure the boys talk amongst themselves as to the generosity of their farangs. I have several older iPhones and have given one at the end of my last trip to a boy who spoke good English and enjoyed helping me to speak a little Thai. I remember when I first discovered Pattaya about 20 years ago, giving a boys the gift of jeans from a market stall   was joyfully accepted, and was well repaid in full in bed. Small gold jewellery items are always loved such as earrings and these can be exchanges for cash if they are skint.

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The latest models of phones by Chinese manufacturers as well as Nokia with good specifications can be had for 5k baht.  More than good enough for the common prostitutes to do all the promotions in their daily life,  communicating with the family and friends, playing games etc,  and then put the rest of money in the bank for future needs. That is living beyond tomorrow. 

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We are thinking of phones in a completely different way that the "boys" there. For them it is not the utility but the status of having the latest and greatest. I have been there before. But the last phone I bought a guy in Thailand was a Nokia and cost USD75! HAHAHA

Now I am looking at my friends in the Philippines needing a NEW phone because theirs has a broken screen, or dead battery, or it was lost. The last one I bought for a good friend cost USD300. But that is something I cannot do often. Like Christian, I resent feeling I must buy a phone for a guy I have only just met. But never easy to say "No". GUILT!!!

:nea:

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Update....  I told my friend I would give him $100 towards a new note 8 phone and $200 towards a new Samsung note 9 phone.  He found a new note 9 phone from eBay for $600.  It arrived at my house yesterday, I'll test the phone this week to make certain it's genuine.

I also decided to get a second room to meet other guys.  I'm hoping to get a 2nd room in the same hotel or I may get a 2nd room at Babylon.

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5 hours ago, GWMinUS said:

We are thinking of phones in a completely different way that the "boys" there. For them it is not the utility but the status of having the latest and greatest. I have been there before. But the last phone I bought a guy in Thailand was a Nokia and cost USD75! HAHAHA

Now I am looking at my friends in the Philippines needing a NEW phone because theirs has a broken screen, or dead battery, or it was lost. The last one I bought for a good friend cost USD300. But that is something I cannot do often. Like Christian, I resent feeling I must buy a phone for a guy I have only just met. But never easy to say "No". GUILT!!!

:nea:

Yes status is very important for Thais and the possession of the latest offering from Apple or Samsung certainly helps. I use two phones in Thailand, one being a reasonably up to date iPhone with the weakness of limited battery life which can let me down if I fail to charge it overnight. The other is an old Nokia that I bought for, if I remember 800 baht. The battery lasts for ever, I’ve dropped it in water and stood on it many times, but it still comes up fighting. It’s small and slips in my pocket neatly.

However my current boyfriend, a 20 year old,  shows his disgust whenever I pull it out particularly in the vicinity of his friends. I suppose it’s like running a 10 year old car in the West.

 

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7 hours ago, ChristianPFC said:

It's not clear where the boy you are talking about comes from (which country).

That would be rude by my standards, i.e. I wouldn't treat anyone like that (unless agreed upon upfront).

As for the mobile phone. I don't have the newest / most expensive Samsung or iPhone as I can't justify the expense for myself, and even less for buying one for someone else. My current phone cost 10k THB. In principle I would spend the same on a phone as a gift for a boy, but i have yet to meet the boy who brought me so much happiness and who I consider deserves such a gift.

It's a vicious circle! Boys ask for a phone after sleeping with me once, some even before we meet. For that reason, I delay meeting them again, or don't meet them at all, so they can't bring me that much happiness to warrant that expense.

Recent case was the boy in Sakaew. We had a good time in bed and I would meet him again as soon as possible. But  he asked for a mobile phone (Samsung J6 for 7990 THB). For that reason, he went down in the list. Else, I would have gone to meet him again two or three weeks after, and if he had asked me after third meeting, I would probably have bought him the phone.

I believed everything in your post right up until you said  you would probably buy him the phone . Fat chance!

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If a moneyboy main concern is his status or 'face' amongst his own friends who are fellow moneyboys that he should have the latest models of premium smartphones,  may God help him in this life. 

I'm sure there are level headed ones out there who want to free themselves from this falsehood. 

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35 minutes ago, witty said:

If a moneyboy main concern is his status or 'face' amongst his own friends who are fellow moneyboys that he should have the latest models of premium smartphones,  may God help him in this life. 

I'm sure there are level headed ones out there who want to free themselves from this falsehood. 

Yes, ive met those who are very forward thinking, usually the older guys though. They started to see the reality when money doesnt come as easy as before, or they get married and have children to support if they are straight. They start to have day job or second job to ensure income stability. But very rarely this is the case. 

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33 minutes ago, witty said:

If a moneyboy main concern is his status or 'face' amongst his own friends who are fellow moneyboys that he should have the latest models of premium smartphones,  may God help him in this life. 

I'm sure there are level headed ones out there who want to free themselves from this falsehood. 

Really ?? We have very successful people from many countries who buy a Porsche , BMW, Jaguar, Cadillac etc . Why do you think they want these cars when less expensive ones would do them just as well.  Same with 4000 sq ft mansions etc etc etc. Many of the people who buy these cars know they should not and that the monthly payment  + insuranceis ridiculous. I know I was one of them. This extends to homes , restaurants, Hotels ( Guilty)  chosen to eat in . Same with 80 inch tvs and expensive watches .

So if you are saying that because their chosen profession is a MoneyBoy , they should not have the same wants as many of their customers, I disagree.  I'm always in favor of what is good for the goose is good for the gander.

 

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1 hour ago, witty said:

If a moneyboy main concern is his status or 'face' amongst his own friends who are fellow moneyboys that he should have the latest models of premium smartphones,  may God help him in this life. 

I'm sure there are level headed ones out there who want to free themselves from this falsehood. 

Boys who want the latest iPhone are relatively level headed ones compare with the one who wants 800,000 baht motorcycle. lol

If he can get it for free from a customer, why not?

Good luck to them.

 

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I guess it's easy for me since as a fully paid up member of the butterfly club, I generally have a different partner every night.    They don't bother asking for phones and I would have no hesitation in saying no.    OK there is one lad I might have seen more than 10 times, but that is spread over 8 years.

As for the expensive cars, well the current used model on my drive cost an awful lot less than 1% of my net worth.   And I am not Bill Gates.   I'm lucky to be completely satisfied with this very cheap car.   Leaves more money for travel & enjoying myself.     Therefore, I think it's somewhat irrational for bar boys to take out loans for expensive motorcycles, when they could either walk, take public transport or buy a basic & practical model.      But they seem to do this.   

I also have seen a boy with a Galaxy Note 8, about 3 weeks old, with the screen already cracked.   He rent's his ass out and blows the money on a trophy phone, which has a curved screen which as far as I know is difficult to fit a protector to.  So not very practical.   .

Different people have different mindsets.

 

 

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On 3/26/2019 at 9:07 PM, Scooby said:

Really ?? We have very successful people from many countries who buy a Porsche , BMW, Jaguar, Cadillac etc . Why do you think they want these cars when less expensive ones would do them just as well.  Same with 4000 sq ft mansions etc etc etc. Many of the people who buy these cars know they should not and that the monthly payment  + insuranceis ridiculous. I know I was one of them. This extends to homes , restaurants, Hotels ( Guilty)  chosen to eat in . Same with 80 inch tvs and expensive watches .

So if you are saying that because their chosen profession is a MoneyBoy , they should not have the same wants as many of their customers, I disagree.  I'm always in favor of what is good for the goose is good for the gander.

But they do so with their own money (or on credit or mortgage). Whereas the money boys want us to buy them things.

And my opinion is that a third-world prostitute does not need (but might want) a first-world trophy phone (and as my current phone is a Samsung for 10 kTHB, I'm not preaching water and drinking wine; however in the past it was even easier when I could pull out my 8 kTHB i-mobile or 6 kTHB Asus Zenphone and show them: look, that's my phone, I won't buy you a (whatever).)

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