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Min

Why this Thai boy was offended?

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I got a so-called love confession from a bar boy on Hornet. Have some vague ideas who he is from his online pictures. A waiter/host in M2M bar in Jomtien Complex where I frequented many times to watch their show over the last few months. I saw him in the bar but we never actually talked.

I don't even know how to respond further but saying sorry. Still don't understand why he was offended? Did I say something culturally inappropriate? Now I don't even dare to walk past the bar :(

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1 hour ago, reader said:

Maybe he misunderstood or misinterpreted "just joking" comment. But look on the bright side: you're loved by someone you obviously made a wonderful initial impression on. That can't be a bad thing. 🙂

I thought those were just the usual pick-up lines bar boys used to get customers. It wasn't until he sounded offended that I realized he probably meant it.

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I agree with @Olddaddy,  As you mentioned your frequent visits at this boy's bar made him considering you as a potential long term relationship based on financial support obviously,  some of the Bar boys are tired of seeking customers for every  shift work so finding long term falang who can support them financially without the need working every night at the bar seems very appealing,.

 

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31 minutes ago, colmx said:

So many crazy boys on hornet that try to manipulate farang customers using this technique. In my experience it's something that the non-Thais tend to do more than the Thais. 

Just ignore him, especially when he starts threatening self harm as you don't love him etc etc.

I had it twice in April

Non thais? 

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11 minutes ago, colmx said:

Bar boys from the South East Asian neighbors of Thailand 

Oh ok ...I thought you were picking on my precious loving beautiful sexy Filipino boys👍🤣

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1 hour ago, vaughn said:

Just a wild guess, but I think he may have been offended when you asked to go with him for free and he agreed then you declined by saying it was a joke.

my thought exactly.

Actually I think I'd be offended too if , say , boy asked if I will off him, I confirmed and then he said "I was joking, can't go with you" 

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3 hours ago, vaughn said:

I think he may have been offended when you asked to go with him for free and he agreed then you declined by saying it was a joke.

nuances in English can be easily misinterpreted so 'just joking' could come across as laughing at him or something out of context like that?

I  have had some conversations do complete 180s with some Thai boys because my Australianism expressions don't translate.

That makes sense to me. Maybe he was serious about "going with me for free" and then thought I just treated his intention "as a joke" and him "as toy boy".

The guilt-trip techniques @Olddaddy and @colmx mentioned also seem plausible, but for those to work, I should have gone out with him (paid or not) at least once before the drama right? We hadn't even talked (in real life or on Hornet before), and as he said, I didn't even look at him when I was in the bar.

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4 hours ago, speedoo1 said:

young drama guy! better ignore than keep msg bcoz it will only get worse.

He didn't give me that chance though. When I woke up this morning, Hornet noti shows he sent a bunch of additional messages around 3 am but when I logged on to check, his nick was gone. He blocks me and I am still not sure why he was so upset.

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1 hour ago, Min said:

He didn't give me that chance though. When I woke up this morning, Hornet noti shows he sent a bunch of additional messages around 3 am but when I logged on to check, his nick was gone. He blocks me and I am still not sure why he was so upset.

The only way to find out if he is free and really likes you  is to go to the bar and off/bar fine him from the bar, I would do it otherwise you will never know and regret it ! 👍👍

Life is short ,you have nothing to lose and more to gain especially if it's true love 💜

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Language difficulties abound in our relationships with Thais. I can recall, even now, how hurt I was on a couple of occasions many years ago when my innocent and good-natured comments were completely misunderstood. I suspect that this is what happened with Min.

A guy for whom English is a second- language will probably employ particular  predictive phrases on his phone, sometimes choosing badly. And Shonen is correct about sarcasm. It's also true of teasing, which for us is is often an expression of affection. I once saw a falang teasing a waiter in a  bar- a guy whom he'd offed frequently and rated very highly- by laughing at his new teeth-braces. It didn't end well.

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I guess some of you got ..how do I put it ..." Too involved personally" with the boys ? 

Would that be right? 

You overstepped the professional boundaries of a money boy?

You went beyond the business boundaries and made it personally for them, I have doubts though they had the same feeling as you and was more for business.

Some of you I guess crave that boyfriend experience but your  dealing with money boys 

Last month in jomtien I hired the services of a guy on grindr who I known for years ,he told me often of lonely farang who would be regulars who would just hire him to come over and eat with them or watch a movie together,they would call him their friend in which reality he wasn't ,

I guess you could say they overstepped that professional boundary 

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1 hour ago, Olddaddy said:

I guess some of you got ..how do I put it ..." Too involved personally" with the boys ? 

Would that be right? 

You overstepped the professional boundaries of a money boy?

You went beyond the business boundaries and made it personally for them, I have doubts though they had the same feeling as you and was more for business.

Some of you I guess crave that boyfriend experience but your  dealing with money boys 

Last month in jomtien I hired the services of a guy on grindr who I known for years ,he told me often of lonely farang who would be regulars who would just hire him to come over and eat with them or watch a movie together,they would call him their friend in which reality he wasn't ,

I guess you could say they overstepped that professional boundary 

Actually to correct myself ,  they didn't overstep that personal boundary unless they believed he was really their boyfriend I guess , 

 

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16 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

The only way to find out if he is free and really likes you  is to go to the bar and off/bar fine him from the bar, I would do it otherwise you will never know and regret it ! 👍👍

Life is short ,you have nothing to lose and more to gain especially if it's true love 💜

If it was true love the boy would never block and insist making contact with you to show you he is serious and have true feelings for you but one harmless jock from you he understood you aren't serious so he moved on to the next potential victims . He is money boy no more no less don't take this incident too seriously. The boy block you and moved on, you should do the same.

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