I have two best friends who are going through some "stuff"right now and I am not sure to handle them.

First is a long time friend with whom I have a had a long fairly unrequited love affair with.He split with a horrid partner after a very messy couple of years,is making yet another attempt at staying sober(I hope it sticks this time)did a "geographic"to be closer to his bio family and to be in a place he is comfortable in,and has just lost a job.So a minor-not major-bit of a mess right now.

Second is my other best friend who is somwhat local.We used to pal around quite a bit together.This year he turned 60 and is really shutting me it it seems.He is insisting on getting his finances in order for retirement,does not want to do any fun things-only cultural stuff-and is pretty depressed.We were planning a trip to Brazil-well he decided he would rather go to some historical spot on Mexico instead with one of his artsy friends.He really needs to have some fun-but is refusing any of myovertures to do "fun"stuff.

So I am kinda out on a limb without my 2 best friends right now-miss them and I hope that whatever needs to pass will do it quickly.

I know that in a few years I will probably be going through a mid life drama myself and I hope I have a support network out there.

With all due respect, what you have written makes it sound like you are pretty judgmental about your friends' lives and choices. Perhaps that's just because of the way you have stated things.

But perhaps they are distancing themselves from you for a reason? If you have other friends in common with these people, it might be worth asking a (disinterested?) third party to comment.

BG

Well I tried to state things without tooooo much judgement-but I can see your point.

My other friends really do not care for one of these guys-and they do not know the other as he is from a different part of my history.

I guess I just want things to be a little more smooth-and to get back to having good times with both of these wonderful people.We are still very close-just not the same.and I miss that.