At the risk of being banned, I just can't resist...

Martha Stewart Likes Big Wieners

The always primp and proper Martha Stewart dedicated an entire episode of her daytime show this week to everything Hot Dog related.

The Martha Stewart Show featured all kinds of hot dogs and toppings.

They even had a special 15-foot hot dog created by Empire National in Brooklyn that was hand delivered to Martha's studio.

And showing you can never be too proper, Ms. Stewart added, "For those of you who don't think length matters, I disagree – especially when it comes to wieners."

How saucy, Martha!

"There's just never enough bites in a hot dog," she added.

http://perezhilton.com/2008-09-24-martha-s...kes-big-weiners

Missed the show, so I'm playing catch up, but would relish any tips she had for sagging buns.

catch up

relish

sagging buns

Consider me properly chastised.

Consider me properly chastised.

Au contraire! In fact, I was hoping you'd join me at Martha's upcoming Chile Reception; assuming, of course, I can do something with this drooping derrière.

See you there!

For a surefire way to tighten up the sag you mention, see the scene in Kenneth Anger's film "Scorpio Rising" where Hell's Angels are goosing each other with plastic skulls coated in yellow mustard.

(...sort of the inverse of how chili works!)

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4704748884284449320

P.S. Rhyming contraire with derrière -- clevèr!

P.S. Rhyming contraire with derrière -- clevèr!

Not surprising. He's a rhyming dictionary that walks and talks, and brings us, the less dextrous, face-to-face with our inadequacies. I'm making a moue.

Not surprising. He's a rhyming dictionary that walks and talks, and brings us, the less dextrous, face-to-face with our inadequacies. I'm making a moue.

You'll have to pin the Blue Ribbon on AdamSmith for that one; I missed it entirely.

And once again you've sent me trundling off to the dictionary, this time for moue: A small grimace; a pout

Awfully sorry if my fun causes you any distress. I'll be checking each post from now on for inadvertent doggerel or anything that jingles.

You did remind me, however, of a favorite piece of graffiti, floating above a urinal in the Tenderloin some twenty years ago:

I'm not going to do it, that's all there is to it.

Oops! I've done it again.

Thanks for the memories!

Awfully sorry if my fun causes you any distress. I'll be checking each post from now on for inadvertent doggerel or anything that jingles.

Check, but only if you intend to add to what's there already. I don't mind being driven to a pout. I model mine on the early Shirley Temple's. Couldn't be cuter.

I'm making a moue.

I'm making a roux.

...with Thing 1 and Thing 2!

You'll have to pin the Blue Ribbon

on AdamSmith for that one;

I missed it entirely.

And once again you've sent me

trundling off to the dictionary,

this time for moue:

A small grimace; a pout (sic!)

Awfully sorry if my fun causes you

any distress. I'll be checking each post from now on for

inadvertent doggerel or

anything that jingles. You did remind me, however,

of a favorite piece of

graffiti, floating above

a urinal in

the Tenderloin

some twenty years ago...

I bow to superior talent!

I bow to superior talent!

I'm in way over my head. See you all in another thread.

You'll have to pin the Blue Ribbon

on AdamSmith for that one;

I missed it entirely.

And once again you've sent me

trundling off to the dictionary,

this time for moue:

A small grimace; a pout (sic!)

Awfully sorry if my fun causes you

any distress. I'll be checking each post from now on for

inadvertent doggerel or

anything that jingles. You did remind me, however,

of a favorite piece of

graffiti, floating above

a urinal in

the Tenderloin

some twenty years ago...

When a bow just isn't enough . . .

(That's me on the right!)

(That's me on the right!)

You look very eloquent and sexy. If I had another sweet 16 party, you would be top on my list.

Good thing black's my color.