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An old wheeze, updated for MER

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The cute young escort lay in bed looking up as his elderly client undressed and sat on the edge of the bed. The young man watched as the old gent slipped on a condom, stuffed a wad of cotton up each nostril, and put in an earplug.

"What the heck are you doing?" asked the nervous young bottom.

"Well," said the old bird, sliding in the second earplug, "at my age it takes me an awful long time to come, and I don't like hearing all the yelling, and I can't stand the smell of burning rubber."

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