(One from the vault, busted links restored.)

Priapus, the God of the phallus and male sexuality, weighs his prodigious member.

This is from a painted wall at the House of the Vettii, in Pompeii.

(The culture of Pompeii was abruptly ended in 79 A.D. by an eruption of mount Vesuvius.)

He must have been very popular. I wonder if he ever escorted? He would have been a top, surely, and may have charged by the pound.

According to Wikipedia, statues of Priapus, in full rampant splendor, were used in Roman gardens to promote an abundant crop, and to guard against thieves. Epigrams were included, so that would-be robbers didn't miss the point:

"I warn you, my lad, you will be sodomised; you, my girl, I shall futter; for the thief who is bearded, a third punishment remains."

"... If I do seize you . . . you shall be so stretched that you will think your anus never had any wrinkles."

And to think I've been getting by with just a sundial!

"I warn you,... for the thief who is bearded, a third punishment remains... If I do seize you... you shall be so stretched that you will think your anus never had any wrinkles."

So much more pungent than a "posted: no trespassing" sign.

Can you imagine what life might have been like back then if you were gay and had plenty of money?

Can you imagine what life might have been like back then if you were gay and had plenty of money?

Don't forget - they didn't have hospitals that could stitch up your hoop.

Don't forget - they didn't have hospitals that could stitch up your hoop.

That would be ok for me. I live for thrills!

That would be ok for me. I live for thrills!

In a day without suture or stitch,

I have found my own little niche.

While the others make do

With a fistful or two,

I am proudly Priapus's Bitch!

. . . .