North Korea is running out of virgins for Kim Jong-un's dance troupe. It's every dictator's nightmare

By Tim Stanley World Last updated: August 20th, 2013

Kim Jong-un may have to turn to other forms of entertainment

A quick recap for those of you who aren't obsessed with North Korea. The Democratic Republic long ago realised that it couldn't do the basics like grow food or keep the lights on, so it decided to focus on the fields of military and light entertainment instead. Of course much of its military output is entertaining and much of its entertainment has a decidedly military feel – from mass games to girl bands singing about the birds, the bees and nuclear fallout. And all of this variety performance is being slowly undone by the country's continued slide into mass poverty. The missiles are old and probably unusuable. And the entertainment corp is starting to look a little frayed, too.

The Kim family has long been entertained by dance troupes comprised entirely of virgin girls. But – oh, the irony! – the Kims' taste for Stalinist economics is reducing the number of virgins available for recruitment. A defector told the Chosun Ilbo, "Dire economic straits compounded by a weakening regime have led to an increase in prostitution, drug abuse and human trafficking in North Korea." The regime blames this on the decadent influence of capitalism (as if every household has HBO), but the sad reality is that empty bellies are forcing young girls to sell their bodies in order to feed their families. The result: "A physical exam for the military draft of 16-year-olds … in Chongjin showed that more than 60 percent of the girls had had sexual experiences". The defector reports that this means the dance troupes are becoming understaffed – although the cynical would point out that virgins who entertain the Kims don't stay virgins for very long. They're a family of "playboys", in the way that seedy old men who put a coin in a slot and watch a naked woman slowly rotate behind a window think they're a veritable Roger Moore.

Poor old Kim. His harem has lost its traditional purity and, to add insult to injury, his sportsmen are escaping the misery of North Korea life by getting high. The defector adds that, "more than 30 percent of athletes tested positive for drug use in a doping test for a sporting event in 2012 to mark late leader Kim Jong-il's birthday on Feb. 16". That must've been fun to watch: a game of football in which 30 per cent of the players think the ball they're chasing is a white rabbit. And Kim can't even get his own, horribly real white elephant off the ground. His plan to build the world's coolest ski resort has hit the barrier of trade sanctions, with the Swiss refusing to sell him more than $7 million in ski lifts and cable cars – and they've rubbed salt into the wound by extending the trade embargo to include luxury items like golf clubs, horse saddles and perfume. Then again, it was always doubtful that a North Korean ski resort was going to become the Zermatt of East Asia. Cocktails with the William and Kate in the shadow of a gulag? I think not.

Under the Kims, North Korea is part barracks and part brothel – an odd outcome for a society supposedly dedicated to peace and ending exploitation. But then it's probably inaccurate for us to regard the regime as communist anymore. A recent change to the constitution excised the remaining commitment to building socialism and replaced it with the importance of keeping the Kim bloodline in power. Virgin dance troupes and lavish ski resorts: this is an ossified monarchy, not a socialist state.

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/timstanley/100231814/north-korea-is-running-out-of-virgins-for-kim-jong-uns-dance-troupe-its-every-dictators-nightmare/

Are we sure that Muslim terrorists blowing themselves up didn't get them all?

Best regards,

RA1

You know, I have seen some recent scholarship to the effect that the word was mistranslated, and that the promised reward for holy jihad is not so many virgins, but actually so many grapes.

There may be some disappointed self-martyrs!

I think they all may be disappointed, that is, if they are capable of any feelings afterward.

What was that definition of insanity again? Was it doing the same thing over and over and hoping for a different result every time?

Best regards,

RA1

What was that definition of insanity again? Was it doing the same thing over and over and hoping for a different result every time?

You go looking for good sense in all the wrong places.