It's been a little while since we've had a "Flying Farang" story, so here's the latest. It seems like "flying" is the most popular way farang choose to commit suicide in Thailand. Of course, for the conspiracy theory buffs out there, maybe it's really murder, rather than the farang version of hara-kiri.

 

The following appears in the PATTAYA DAILY NEWS:

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DISTRAUGHT GERMAN MAN LEAPS OFF PATTAYA UPPER CONDO CAR PARK

 

At 4.30am on June 2, 2008, Pol.Lt.Col. Apimook Amnajmunkong, Pattaya Investigator, Dongtan Station, was notified that a foreign man had fallen from the upper car park of Jomtien Complex Condotel, Jomtien beach, and the man was dead. Pol.Col. Nopadol Wongnom, Superintendent and Sawang Boriboon accordingly went to the incident scene to investigate.

 

There police found Mr. Fredric Stuart Loffler (44), from Germany, lying dead, face down on the ground. He was wearing a black T-shirt, olive-green shorts and black shoes. His head was severely injured and there was a pool of blood on the ground. In his short's pocket, police found a Nokia mobile phone, a bunch of keys, cigarettes, a broken wrist-watch and a passport, all of which police kept as evidence.

 

On inspecting the 6th floor car park of the condo building, Police found signs of climbing on the banister. There was no sign of fighting in the area, however. Mr. Pirun Roongsawang (23), a condo security guard, told police that, while he was on duty, checking around the front of the condo, he heard the sound of a heavy object impacting on the ground outside the condo building, around the building's ground floor parking zone. He rushed out to investigate and found the dead body of a foreigner.

 

Mr. Pirun further told the police that the man was a stranger, and he could have either been a newcomer who had just rented a room at the condo, or a guest of a resident. Normally, people who could enter the car park would be condo residents or guests only.

 

Police assumed that Mr. Loffler was probably distressed from personal problems and decided to commit suicide; this assumption was reinforced by the fact that there was no sign of fighting in the immediate vicinity. However, police will send his body for autopsy and find out where he was staying. The German Embassy will be informed accordingly.

Hmm, so among the items found there was no wallet and no money?

Now I'm no genius or nothing but I'd add robbery as a possible motive.

Hmm, so among the items found there was no wallet and no money?

Now I'm no genius or nothing but I'd add robbery as a possible motive.

 

Well, using intellect like that would rank you in the top 1% of the intelligencia of the Thai cops. There have been so many deaths over the years that the Thai cops have ruled a "suicide" where the circumstances are simply puzzling (wallets and gold chains gone, hands tied behind the back, etc.).

 

And I'm sticking with my story: Your honor, I was just peeling an orange on the corner when this guy backed around the corner six times into my knife! Honest!

If someone is distraught enough to commit suicide do you really think that carrying money and a wallet is important?

My all time favorite was the time a body, weighted down and hands tied behind the back, was discovered out in the bay. That was ruled a suicide! Ok . . . Well, that kind of death does sound a little bit like what can happen is you mess with the Thai version of The Godfather. I suppose if you do, that's suicide!

 

There was no suicide note, but there was that broken wristwatch. The Broken Wristwatch. Sounds like a perfect Agatha Christie title, doesn't it? It wasn't a suicide. The butler did it. I wonder if he was one of those dorks who wears his watch on the inside of his wrist.

My all time favorite was the time a body, weighted down and hands tied behind the back, was discovered out in the bay. That was ruled a suicide!

 

Hong Kong had a similar 'suicide'. 25 years ago, the former chairman of the Law Society and senior partner in one of the territory's most prestigious law firms was found dead in the pool at his home on the Peak. This was ruled suicide. Strange that he was wearing a suit and black shoes at the time, and the rope around his neck was firmly tied to the grille at the bottom of the pool. Amazing what people will do to get rid of themselves! Allegations of 'ties' to unsavoury characters were ruled out.

or...perhaps the REASON for the triple sommersault with tuck WAS "no money, no wallet"!!!