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A Train-Wreck of a Marriage to Avoid Being Known as Gay

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During Tsarist times in Russia, being known as gay was tantamount to career-ending, no matter who you were. Arguably Russia's most famous composer and later to become known as one of its most tormented gay men was the composer Piotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky. Ironically his brother Modest was also gay - but then he was not nearly as famous. Tchaikovsky was lauded throughout the country partly for his music to three of what have become the most popular ballets in the repertoire - Swan Lake, Sleeping Beauty and The Nutcracker, but equally for his seven symphonies, violin concerto, two piano concertos and the opera Eugene Onegin. Even today Tchaikovsky being gay is very much played down in Russia to fit in with Putin's homophobia and the country's harsh laws.

In an attempt to throw any suspicion off him, in 1877 aged 37 Tchaikovsky decided to get married. Antonina Miliukova was an aspiring young musician. From the moment she first saw Tchaikovsky, she was enthralled. She determined to marry him despite the fact they were particularly ill-suited to each other. Tchaikovsky stated she was a woman "with whom I am not the least in love." Modest went further, describing her as a "crazed half-wit." In the end she got her way, even though it seems certain she was not aware at that time that he was gay.

In many respects this was similar to events a few decades later when an aspiring young ballet student set her sights on marrying arguably the greatest male dancer the world has ever seen, Vaslav Nijinsky. Nijinsy had been the plaything of a homosexual clique in St. Petersburg before being taken under the wing of the very gay impresario, Serge Diaghiev. Probably more bisexual than totally gay, after his marriage Nijinsky's career fell apart and he was to spend decades in and out of psychiatric institutions.

Tchaikovsky suffered no similar fate. His marriage was more than a disaster, however. He soon found his wife "absolutely repulsive" and spoke of "unbearable moral torments." It lasted for just 8 weeks before the couple separated. Since divorce was complicated in Russia, they had to remain man and wife until his death. But the rift was total and he saw no more of her. The Hollywood Reporter writing about the new movie shown recently at the Cannes Film Festival "Tchaikovsky's Wife" describes the marriage as 

"more like a train suddenly hitting a 747, then flying off the rails of a bridge, where it crash lands into a boat causing an explosion that blows up the bridge, too."

Both parties were to suffer, Tchaikovsky of a nervous breakdown although he was thereafter able to continue his career. Antonina was devastated and ended up like Nijinsky in losing her mind. The marriage was a tragedy for both parties.

  • Active Members
On 5/21/2022 at 1:43 AM, PeterRS said:

"more like a train suddenly hitting a 747, then flying off the rails of a bridge, where it crash lands into a boat causing an explosion that blows up the bridge, too."

Sounds like a fun experience. ☺️

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