During my recent travels, I saw Bette Midler's new show in Las Vegas. She is still in wonderful voice and cracking her risque jokes, often fired off rapidly one after another, with great aplomb. Have to share one.

 

Walking along the beach one day, she came upon a beautiful naked young man lying on his back in the sun with a rampant erection. Curious, Miss M went up and asked what he was doing. "I'm telling the time", he said. "And what time is that?" asked Miss M. The young man looked at the shadow cast by his erect penis and said. "it's 12:00 noon." At which Miss. M looked at her watch - and indeed, it was exactly noon.

 

Further down they beach, she happened upon another gorgeous naked young man in the same prone position with a similarly rampant erection. "What are you doing?" asked Miss M. "I'm telling the time." "And what time is it?" The man looked down at the shadow and told her it was 12:15. Again Miss M. looked at her watch - and lo and behold, it was exactly 12:15.

 

Continuing her walk, she eventually came to another naked young man, but this one was in the act of what, for the sake of propriety, she called "fondling himself." This time she went up to him and said, "I suppose you're going to tell me that you're telling the time." "Telling the time?" said the young man. "Whatever makes you think that? I'm not telling the time. I'm winding the clock!"

 

It brought the house down!

ROFl, it works for me, thank you.

I love Bette Midler. I saw her live in Pasadena in 1980. She is a great talent. I think the show was called "The Divine Miss M." She told Sophie Tucker stories and drove around the stage in a motorized palm tree. It was a long time ago-- that's all I remember. Here she is now doing all that great camp and with the same boundless energy, nearly 30 years later. Doesn't this lady ever age or slow down?

 

Some audience members would shout, "We love you Bette," and she'd reply "Such adulation!"

I saw her in that same show in Milpitas at an outdoor amphitheater. The funniest thing I remember was she said, "I have worked my whole career for this gig, right here in the middle of a fucking toxic waste dump."

Anyone thinking of getting to Las Vegas for the show, check the internet as she does them in short groups - Cher and Elton John fill in the other dates. Also, discounts and added value items (e.g. 3-course dinner) seem now to be available on most websites.

I saw Cher on my last visit and she was fabulous. Loved the show. I wanted to see Miss M but she is never in Vegas when I am. I am glad you got to see her!