Naughty Limericks

[PeterRS]

To brighten the festive mood and get our minds of all those Christmas balls and fairy lights, how about a few naughty limericks? This is an old one with many variations 

There once was a man from Madras

Whose balls were made of brass

In windy weather, the clashed together

And sparks came out of his arse.

[Patanawet]

14 hours ago, PeterRS said:

There once was a man from Madras

Whose balls were made of brass

In windy weather, the clashed together

And sparks came out of his arse.

Ha ha. Only works if you're from 'oop North'.

[thaiophilus]

22 minutes ago, Patanawet said:

Ha ha. Only works if you're from 'oop North'.

Not even then. Never mind Madras, Northern English "brass" and "arse" don't rhyme. The syllable counts are a bit off, too.

Try this:

There was a young man of Devizes

Whose balls were of differing sizes.

One was so small

it was no use at all,

but the other won several prizes.

 

One of my favourites:

There was a youhg lady from Thrace

Whose corsets would no longer lace.

Her mother said "Nelly,

there's more in your belly

than ever went in through your face."