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Courtroom Funnies

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In a London magistrates court where he was on trial for racist remarks aimed at another soccer player, Chelsea FC’s captain John Terry informed the court this week he had been ‘sent off’ four times in his playing career. His answer was not sufficiently loud, so he was asked by his lawyer –

 

“Can you say, please, four times?” asked his QC, George Carter-Stephenson.

 

“Please, please, please, please,” Terry responded.

 

Huge laughter broke out around the courtroom.

 

Terry was acquitted of the racism charge, but found guilty of simple-mindedness in the court of public opinion.

 

http://www.telegraph...room-gaffe.html

The internet has a load of examples of incredibly stupid questions (google "stupid lawyer questions") and equally incredible witness responses from real cases. One of my favorites:

 

Lawyer: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

Witness: No.

Lawyer: Did you check for blood pressure?

Witness: No.

Lawyer: Did you check for breathing?

Witness: No.

Lawyer: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

Witness: No.

Lawyer: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

Witness: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Lawyer: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?

Witness: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

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