AdamSmith

Complicated only if he is your urologist and "Are we clear?" is a diagnostic question.

More on Thayer: http://harvardmagazine.com/2007/01/alexander-wheelock-thaye.html

I have always meant to read it but never have. This online text may be the way.

The text: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/43591/43591-h/43591-h.htm (Sorry! ) Thayer: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Wheelock_Thayer

Specially for MsGuy! (And hito!) http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2011/12/6/1323186516869/Childrens-Picture-Books---012.jpg

It may look like delicious candy, but it will leave a bad taste - in your BUTT! These silly candies will leave you farting uncontrollably! Great gag for your uppity in-laws! http://www.prankplace.com/Fart-Candy-Pranks-1993-0X.aspx

You've tricked your little sister countless times with every farting prank in the book, but she'll never suspect this one! Our sneaky fart powder can be mixed with any hot food or drink and is left completely undetected by the victims like your little sister…until she chows down on the fart powdered meal! It will make her have cosmic farting! http://www.prankplace.com/Fart-Powder-4014-0X.aspx

Need a prank big enough to clear a whole room? You need the Fart Bomb! The Fart Bomb is simple and completely anonymous. Just enter a crowded room of people, squeeze the Fart Bomb, drop it and leave. In 8 to 15 seconds, the packet will pop releasing the most horrid stench you've ever smelt. Then laugh and watch as everyone runs for fresh air wondering "who dropped the bomb." They're perfect for livening up (or ruining) any social gathering. Each box contains 6 lethal doses. http://www.prankplace.com/Fart-Bomb--Single-Packet-14440-0X.aspx

Tex–ASS! At first, it smells like a caterer has just walked through with a dozen BBQ rib platters. After 10-15 minutes, the BBQ smell begins to dissipate and the ol' familiar ASS stink starts to take over. http://www.prankplace.com/Tex-Ass-Spray-LIQ252-0X.aspx

Get Revenge with the Liquid Ass Spray Did someone fart? What's that smell?! Ewwww, did you just poop your pants?! If you want to have this kind of reactions from your loved ones, friends, colleagues, or even the crowd, then you need to get this amazing Liquid Ass Spray! It is a highly concentrated liquid ass spray that smells like a mixture of green poo, bad smelling moist butt crack, fart, and dead animals. Yes, everything you have just read is gross but that is the point to this prank anyway, to gross your victim out and embarrass him in front of people! The best part about all this is that this spray is the perfect solution to mortify your enemy in a very discreet manner. All you have to do is just spray a little on a small space or area such as in an office cubicle, elevator, car, bathroom, or anywhere for that matter and you will totally send everybody running out from the stinking zone! This spray is that powerful and no one will never know that you did it. So if you want to seek revenge, then this is an effective and definitely an unforgettable way to make your victim be remembered as that someone who farted that stank like a dead animal! http://www.prankplace.com/Liquid-Ass-Spray-6909-0X.aspx

Q. Why would I want my cock to be more like the Congressional Record? A. So it could more easily revise, correct and extend.

Maybe the developers could let us "mine" Likes, a la Bitcoin?

That whale of Stubb's, so dearly purchased, was duly brought to the Pequod's side, where all those cutting and hoisting operations previously detailed, were regularly gone through, even to the baling of the Heidelburgh Tun, or Case. While some were occupied with this latter duty, others were employed in dragging away the larger tubs, so soon as filled with the sperm; and when the proper time arrived, this same sperm was carefully manipulated ere going to the try-works, of which anon. It had cooled and crystallized to such a degree, that when, with several others, I sat down before a large Constantine's bath of it, I found it strangely concreted into lumps, here and there rolling about in the liquid part. It was our business to squeeze these lumps back into fluid. A sweet and unctuous duty! No wonder that in old times sperm was such a favorite cosmetic. Such a clearer! such a sweetener! such a softener; such a delicious mollifier! After having my hands in it for only a few minutes, my fingers felt like eels, and began, as it were, to serpentine and spiralize. As I sat there at my ease, cross-legged on the deck; after the bitter exertion at the windlass; under a blue tranquil sky; the ship under indolent sail, and gliding so serenely along; as I bathed my hands among those soft, gentle globules of infiltrated tissues, wove almost within the hour; as they richly broke to my fingers, and discharged all their opulence, like fully ripe grapes their wine; as. I snuffed up that uncontaminated aroma,- literally and truly, like the smell of spring violets; I declare to you, that for the time I lived as in a musky meadow; I forgot all about our horrible oath; in that inexpressible sperm, I washed my hands and my heart of it; I almost began to credit the old Paracelsan superstition that sperm is of rare virtue in allaying the heat of anger; while bathing in that bath, I felt divinely free from all ill-will, or petulance, or malice, of any sort whatsoever. Squeeze! squeeze! squeeze! all the morning long; I squeezed that sperm till I myself almost melted into it; I squeezed that sperm till a strange sort of insanity came over me; and I found myself unwittingly squeezing my co-laborers' hands in it, mistaking their hands for the gentle globules. Such an abounding, affectionate, friendly, loving feeling did this avocation beget; that at last I was continually squeezing their hands, and looking up into their eyes sentimentally; as much as to say,- Oh! my dear fellow beings, why should we longer cherish any social acerbities, or know the slightest ill-humor or envy! Come; let us squeeze hands all round; nay, let us all squeeze ourselves into each other; let us squeeze ourselves universally into the very milk and sperm of kindness. Would that I could keep squeezing that sperm for ever! For now, since by many prolonged, repeated experiences, I have perceived that in all cases man must eventually lower, or at least shift, his conceit of attainable felicity; not placing it anywhere in the intellect or the fancy; but in the wife, the heart, the bed, the table, the saddle, the fire-side; the country; now that I have perceived all this, I am ready to squeeze case eternally. In thoughts of the visions of the night, I saw long rows of angels in paradise, each with his hands in a jar of spermaceti. Now, while discoursing of sperm it behooves to speak of other things akin to it, in the business of preparing the sperm whale for the try-works. First comes white-horse, so called, which is obtained from the tapering part of the fish, and also from the thicker portions of his flukes. It is tough with congealed tendons- a wad of muscle- but still contains some oil. After being severed from the whale, the white-horse is first cut into portable oblongs ere going to the mincer. They look much like blocks of Berkshire marble. Plum-pudding is the term bestowed upon certain fragmentary parts of the whale's flesh, here and there adhering to the blanket of blubber, and often participating to a considerable degree in its unctuousness. It is a most refreshing, convivial, beautiful object to behold. As its name imports, it is of an exceedingly rich, mottled tint, with a bestreaked snowy and golden ground, dotted with spots of the deepest crimson and purple. It is plums of rubies, in pictures of citron. Spite of reason, it is hard to keep yourself from eating it. I confess, that once I stole behind the foremast to try it. It tasted something as I should conceive a royal cutlet from the thigh of Louis le Gros might have tasted, supposing him to have been killed the first day after the venison season, and that particular venison season contemporary with an unusually fine vintage of the vineyards of Champagne. There is another substance, and a very singular one, which turns up in the course of this business, but which I feel it to be very puzzling adequately to describe. It is called slobgollion; an appellation original with the whalemen, and even so is the nature of the substance. It is an ineffably oozy, stringy affair, most frequently found in the tubs of sperm, after a prolonged squeezing, and subsequent decanting. I hold it to be the wondrously thin, ruptured membranes of the case, coalescing. Gurry, so called, is a term properly belonging to right whalemen, but sometimes incidentally used by the sperm fishermen. It designates the dark, glutinous substance which is scraped off the back of the Greenland or right whale, and much of which covers the decks of those inferior souls who hunt that ignoble Leviathan. Nippers. Strictly this word is not indigenous to the whale's vocabulary. But as applied by whalemen, it becomes so. A whaleman's nipper is a short firm strip of tendinous stuff cut from the tapering part of Leviathan's tail: it averages an inch in thickness, and for the rest, is about the size of the iron part of a hoe. Edgewise moved along the oily deck, it operates like a leathern squilgee; and by nameless blandishments, as of magic, allures along with it all impurities. But to learn all about these recondite matters, your best way is at once to descend into the blubber-room, and have a long talk with its inmates. This place has previously been mentioned as the receptacle for the blanket-pieces, when stript and hoisted from the whale. When the proper time arrives for cutting up its contents, this apartment is a scene of terror to all tyros, especially by night. On one side, lit by a dull lantern, a space has been left clear for the workmen. They generally go in pairs,- a pike-and-gaffman and a spade-man. The whaling-pike is similar to a frigate's boarding-weapon of the same name. The gaff is something like a boat-hook. With his gaff, the gaffman hooks on to a sheet of blubber, and strives to hold it from slipping, as the ship pitches and lurches about. Meanwhile, the spade-man stands on the sheet itself, perpendicularly chopping it into the portable horse-pieces. This spade is sharp as hone can make it; the spademan's feet are shoeless; the thing he stands on will sometimes irresistibly slide away from him, like a sledge. If he cuts off one of his own toes, or one of his assistants', would you be very much astonished? Toes are scarce among veteran blubber-room men. http://americanliterature.com/author/herman-melville/book/moby-dick-or-the-whale/chapter-94-a-squeeze-of-the-hand

Throwback Thursday. Umm, Captain Klumpz.... Yes, Malarkey? The men haven't eaten in days, sir. Yes Malarkey. Captain, I don't think you fully understand. I said the men have not eaten in days now. I heard you, Malarkey, thank you. Captain, you've gone quite mad. I'm telling you for the last time, the men have not eaten in days! Well, force them! You've plenty of men, haven't you? Plenty, sir. Plenty of what, sir? Men, sir! What?! Men! What?! Men! Men! MEN! Men! Men, Men, Men, Men Men, Men, Men, Men Men, Men, Men, Men Men, Men, Men, Men It's great to be on a ship with men and sail across the sea-o, We don't know where we'll land or when, but it's great to be with men It's great to be with men 'Cause men can sweat and men can stink and no one seems to care-o, We'll throw the dishes in the sink and clog the drain with hair-o, (Clog the drain with hair-o) Men, men, men. It's a ship all filled with men. So batten down the ladies room; there's no one here but men Men, Men, Men, Men Men, Men, Men, Men There's men above, there's men below, there's men down in the galley, There's Butch and Spike And Buzz and Biff And one guy we call Sally (And one guy we call Sally) Men, men, men. It's a ship all filled with men. You'll never have to lift the seat; there's no one here but men Men, Men, Men, Men Men, Men, Men, Men We're men and friends until the end and none of us are sissies, At night we sleep in separate beds and blow each other kissies (And blow each other kissies) Men, men, men. It's a ship all filled with men. So throw your rubbers overboard; there's no one here but men Ahhhhhhhhh, Mennnnn. (Martin Mull)