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As I tried to suggest, the sexual cultures of Egypt appear very complex to new arrivals. As a Western expat, it took me quite some time to learn how to decipher 'signals'. For example, being asked (constantly) "are you married" and questions about your family appear to be everyday, polite questions. If you answer no, this is may be followed up with questions asking you to elaborate on why this is the case. Again, this maybe a straight forward question. However, as I discovered, if you explain that you "like your freedom" and that you live a very mobile life, this may be followed up with more questions asking you to explain why this is so,  given that most expat men travel with wives/partners/families etc. If you then reply that "well, its just not for me" or other such vague, seemingly avoidant phrases, this may very well lead to further questions regarding your living arrangements ie. if you live alone, do you have a doorman. You can see where this is going... Interestingly, with some guys this questioning may take ten minutes. With others, it may unfold over several weeks, for example, as you run into the same guy at the local gym and strike up an (ongoing) conversation...

I also lived in Cairo - for three years. Slightly earlier than Bruno. His description of his time there is pretty close to my own experiences and observations. However, Ale4co's question regarding  gay dating apps being used to target users is an important reminder to be vigilant when using apps.  I met a young Egyptian guy on gaydar and once he trusted me (took several weeks of chatting) we finally met in a large public café (his request) where he described at length the trauma of being entrapped by what he insisted was a European tourist who himself had been entrapped by local police. The police attempted to recruit him into the posse of men that were used to set up these types of honey traps. He refused, paid a fine and then was let go. We became friends and used to chat regularly but he was too traumatized to go any further. (He ended up getting a scholarship to a UK uni and has lived in London for years). At the time, I was not able to work out how widespread this practice was but assumed it was used to extort money from Egyptians by certain members/cells in the Cairo police force rather then being an organized campaign to clamp down on 'homosexual' activity.  No idea if this still happens. 
As Bruno suggests, much of the M2M activity is based around pleasure and not really related to identity as such. Generally, sexual categories like gay, bisexual etc are understood as  artefacts of (primarily) western cultures. Though at the same time, thanks to the  social mediatization/globalization of 'gay identity' I did meet several guys who did indeed 'identify' as gay. Interestingly, for two guys I knew, this identification was refracted through an active/passive, masculine/feminine lens - to be 'gay' was to be passive and feminine - a widespread understanding across the MENA region. On the other hand, I knew a couple of guys who did not relate to this at all. For them, being gay was not just about sexual desire but also aligned to ideas about 'freedom' i.e. from the norms/expectations of family, friends and communities. They could not wait to flee from Egypt and leave behind what they saw as the strictures imposed by an Arabic-Islamic culture(s) that inhibited/repressed their sense of 'self'. At the same time, I also met during my three years, a couple of guys who seemed to have, from my perspective, integrated their beliefs and (so-called) traditional values with their other nocturnal homosocial/homosexual .  I ended up living across the Middle East for many years (until COVID hit) and speaking generally, in my experience, this 'integrated' approach seemed to be the norm - particularly in the Gulf states (Saudi especially!). 

Totally forgot about the 'banana' question !  The first time I was asked this, in Aswan, I naively assumed that my taxi driver was trying to make small talk and practice his English. I said something like "Oh I prefer strawberries". He then said he only had one "very big banana" and asked if I would like to look at it. It wasn't till he invited me to sit in front of the taxi that I finally twigged...

I always assume that it is transactional though it is interesting to me how this may morph into something in addition to this if, over time, you develop a connection/friendship of sorts with someone you see regularly - but yes, in this context, certainly not love or romance ! 

Generally, yes. Sex/pleasure/money. Both wealthier Egyptians and expats (both men and women) were expected to 'thank' their sexual partners with money and/or gifts and/or provide employment where possible i.e. the longer you were acquainted. In the case of the "do you like my banana" scenarios, these can be financially lucrative for younger men and my understanding was certain families, who were often quite poor, turned a blind eye to how young men made their money in the the "tourist trade" as long as they were contributing to the household. A middle class Egyptian friend explained that many working class/fellaheen Egyptians think that well-off expats are just very generous tippers hence their sons coming home flush with cash...

Totally forgot about the 'banana' question !  The first time I was asked this, in Aswan, I naively assumed that my taxi driver was trying to make small talk and practice his English. I said something like "Oh I prefer strawberries". He then said he only had one "very big banana" and asked if I would like to look at it. It wasn't till he invited me to sit in front of the taxi that I finally twigged...

As I tried to suggest, the sexual cultures of Egypt appear very complex to new arrivals. As a Western expat, it took me quite some time to learn how to decipher 'signals'. For example, being asked (constantly) "are you married" and questions about your family appear to be everyday, polite questions. If you answer no, this is may be followed up with questions asking you to elaborate on why this is the case. Again, this maybe a straight forward question. However, as I discovered, if you explain that you "like your freedom" and that you live a very mobile life, this may be followed up with more questions asking you to explain why this is so,  given that most expat men travel with wives/partners/families etc. If you then reply that "well, its just not for me" or other such vague, seemingly avoidant phrases, this may very well lead to further questions regarding your living arrangements ie. if you live alone, do you have a doorman. You can see where this is going... Interestingly, with some guys this questioning may take ten minutes. With others, it may unfold over several weeks, for example, as you run into the same guy at the local gym and strike up an (ongoing) conversation...

I always assume that it is transactional though it is interesting to me how this may morph into something in addition to this if, over time, you develop a connection/friendship of sorts with someone you see regularly - but yes, in this context, certainly not love or romance ! 

reminds me of the Gilmore Girls episode set at Spring Break in Florida.... "pardon me for thinking a banana eating contest was about eating bananas."

If you're paying money, and its a short term thing, it's always transactional. If you're pleasing to the boys eye, then its an easy job for them. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, after all. If everything about you turns them off, it's just a tough day for them; but they've had worse days. Probably.
In relationships where wealth of each partner is significantly different, the lines between romance and transaction become more blurred.  One can see it as paying in arrears... or as just one of those quirks of love.

Totally forgot about the 'banana' question !  The first time I was asked this, in Aswan, I naively assumed that my taxi driver was trying to make small talk and practice his English. I said something like "Oh I prefer strawberries". He then said he only had one "very big banana" and asked if I would like to look at it. It wasn't till he invited me to sit in front of the taxi that I finally twigged...

I always assume that it is transactional though it is interesting to me how this may morph into something in addition to this if, over time, you develop a connection/friendship of sorts with someone you see regularly - but yes, in this context, certainly not love or romance ! 

Whether in Thailand or Egypt of Latin America regardless, what drives young fit men who are in many cases straight to have sex with strangers,tourists, is money. It is a financial transaction and anything else is just a minor detail, money is the key that opens closed doors. The problem is that some tourists are so disillusioned that they actually think that these young men are offering their sexual services because of love and romance.
The only exception to this is if you yourself are young and cute and white. Then yes you might attract sex for free.

Generally, yes. Sex/pleasure/money. Both wealthier Egyptians and expats (both men and women) were expected to 'thank' their sexual partners with money and/or gifts and/or provide employment where possible i.e. the longer you were acquainted. In the case of the "do you like my banana" scenarios, these can be financially lucrative for younger men and my understanding was certain families, who were often quite poor, turned a blind eye to how young men made their money in the the "tourist trade" as long as they were contributing to the household. A middle class Egyptian friend explained that many working class/fellaheen Egyptians think that well-off expats are just very generous tippers hence their sons coming home flush with cash...

Yep. Egypt has approx 10% Coptic Christians and males are also circumcised. 

Totally forgot about the 'banana' question !  The first time I was asked this, in Aswan, I naively assumed that my taxi driver was trying to make small talk and practice his English. I said something like "Oh I prefer strawberries". He then said he only had one "very big banana" and asked if I would like to look at it. It wasn't till he invited me to sit in front of the taxi that I finally twigged...

As I tried to suggest, the sexual cultures of Egypt appear very complex to new arrivals. As a Western expat, it took me quite some time to learn how to decipher 'signals'. For example, being asked (constantly) "are you married" and questions about your family appear to be everyday, polite questions. If you answer no, this is may be followed up with questions asking you to elaborate on why this is the case. Again, this maybe a straight forward question. However, as I discovered, if you explain that you "like your freedom" and that you live a very mobile life, this may be followed up with more questions asking you to explain why this is so,  given that most expat men travel with wives/partners/families etc. If you then reply that "well, its just not for me" or other such vague, seemingly avoidant phrases, this may very well lead to further questions regarding your living arrangements ie. if you live alone, do you have a doorman. You can see where this is going... Interestingly, with some guys this questioning may take ten minutes. With others, it may unfold over several weeks, for example, as you run into the same guy at the local gym and strike up an (ongoing) conversation...

After 3 weeks in Cairo, Luxor, Aswan and Hurghada, as a tourist, I realized that sex with men in those places is somehow connected with money - for sex itself or for some kind of service that precedes it.
And I, too, at the beginning did not understand the hidden meaning of the question "are you married?". To a negative answer, local men began to ask "why is he so handsome and not married?", Or they immediately asked "do you like bananas?".

I also lived in Cairo - for three years. Slightly earlier than Bruno. His description of his time there is pretty close to my own experiences and observations. However, Ale4co's question regarding  gay dating apps being used to target users is an important reminder to be vigilant when using apps.  I met a young Egyptian guy on gaydar and once he trusted me (took several weeks of chatting) we finally met in a large public café (his request) where he described at length the trauma of being entrapped by what he insisted was a European tourist who himself had been entrapped by local police. The police attempted to recruit him into the posse of men that were used to set up these types of honey traps. He refused, paid a fine and then was let go. We became friends and used to chat regularly but he was too traumatized to go any further. (He ended up getting a scholarship to a UK uni and has lived in London for years). At the time, I was not able to work out how widespread this practice was but assumed it was used to extort money from Egyptians by certain members/cells in the Cairo police force rather then being an organized campaign to clamp down on 'homosexual' activity.  No idea if this still happens. 
As Bruno suggests, much of the M2M activity is based around pleasure and not really related to identity as such. Generally, sexual categories like gay, bisexual etc are understood as  artefacts of (primarily) western cultures. Though at the same time, thanks to the  social mediatization/globalization of 'gay identity' I did meet several guys who did indeed 'identify' as gay. Interestingly, for two guys I knew, this identification was refracted through an active/passive, masculine/feminine lens - to be 'gay' was to be passive and feminine - a widespread understanding across the MENA region. On the other hand, I knew a couple of guys who did not relate to this at all. For them, being gay was not just about sexual desire but also aligned to ideas about 'freedom' i.e. from the norms/expectations of family, friends and communities. They could not wait to flee from Egypt and leave behind what they saw as the strictures imposed by an Arabic-Islamic culture(s) that inhibited/repressed their sense of 'self'. At the same time, I also met during my three years, a couple of guys who seemed to have, from my perspective, integrated their beliefs and (so-called) traditional values with their other nocturnal homosocial/homosexual .  I ended up living across the Middle East for many years (until COVID hit) and speaking generally, in my experience, this 'integrated' approach seemed to be the norm - particularly in the Gulf states (Saudi especially!). 

As I tried to suggest, the sexual cultures of Egypt appear very complex to new arrivals. As a Western expat, it took me quite some time to learn how to decipher 'signals'. For example, being asked (constantly) "are you married" and questions about your family appear to be everyday, polite questions. If you answer no, this is may be followed up with questions asking you to elaborate on why this is the case. Again, this maybe a straight forward question. However, as I discovered, if you explain that you "like your freedom" and that you live a very mobile life, this may be followed up with more questions asking you to explain why this is so,  given that most expat men travel with wives/partners/families etc. If you then reply that "well, its just not for me" or other such vague, seemingly avoidant phrases, this may very well lead to further questions regarding your living arrangements ie. if you live alone, do you have a doorman. You can see where this is going... Interestingly, with some guys this questioning may take ten minutes. With others, it may unfold over several weeks, for example, as you run into the same guy at the local gym and strike up an (ongoing) conversation...

As I tried to suggest, the sexual cultures of Egypt appear very complex to new arrivals. As a Western expat, it took me quite some time to learn how to decipher 'signals'. For example, being asked (constantly) "are you married" and questions about your family appear to be everyday, polite questions. If you answer no, this is may be followed up with questions asking you to elaborate on why this is the case. Again, this maybe a straight forward question. However, as I discovered, if you explain that you "like your freedom" and that you live a very mobile life, this may be followed up with more questions asking you to explain why this is so,  given that most expat men travel with wives/partners/families etc. If you then reply that "well, its just not for me" or other such vague, seemingly avoidant phrases, this may very well lead to further questions regarding your living arrangements ie. if you live alone, do you have a doorman. You can see where this is going... Interestingly, with some guys this questioning may take ten minutes. With others, it may unfold over several weeks, for example, as you run into the same guy at the local gym and strike up an (ongoing) conversation...

I also lived in Cairo - for three years. Slightly earlier than Bruno. His description of his time there is pretty close to my own experiences and observations. However, Ale4co's question regarding  gay dating apps being used to target users is an important reminder to be vigilant when using apps.  I met a young Egyptian guy on gaydar and once he trusted me (took several weeks of chatting) we finally met in a large public café (his request) where he described at length the trauma of being entrapped by what he insisted was a European tourist who himself had been entrapped by local police. The police attempted to recruit him into the posse of men that were used to set up these types of honey traps. He refused, paid a fine and then was let go. We became friends and used to chat regularly but he was too traumatized to go any further. (He ended up getting a scholarship to a UK uni and has lived in London for years). At the time, I was not able to work out how widespread this practice was but assumed it was used to extort money from Egyptians by certain members/cells in the Cairo police force rather then being an organized campaign to clamp down on 'homosexual' activity.  No idea if this still happens. 
As Bruno suggests, much of the M2M activity is based around pleasure and not really related to identity as such. Generally, sexual categories like gay, bisexual etc are understood as  artefacts of (primarily) western cultures. Though at the same time, thanks to the  social mediatization/globalization of 'gay identity' I did meet several guys who did indeed 'identify' as gay. Interestingly, for two guys I knew, this identification was refracted through an active/passive, masculine/feminine lens - to be 'gay' was to be passive and feminine - a widespread understanding across the MENA region. On the other hand, I knew a couple of guys who did not relate to this at all. For them, being gay was not just about sexual desire but also aligned to ideas about 'freedom' i.e. from the norms/expectations of family, friends and communities. They could not wait to flee from Egypt and leave behind what they saw as the strictures imposed by an Arabic-Islamic culture(s) that inhibited/repressed their sense of 'self'. At the same time, I also met during my three years, a couple of guys who seemed to have, from my perspective, integrated their beliefs and (so-called) traditional values with their other nocturnal homosocial/homosexual .  I ended up living across the Middle East for many years (until COVID hit) and speaking generally, in my experience, this 'integrated' approach seemed to be the norm - particularly in the Gulf states (Saudi especially!). 

I also lived in Cairo - for three years. Slightly earlier than Bruno. His description of his time there is pretty close to my own experiences and observations. However, Ale4co's question regarding  gay dating apps being used to target users is an important reminder to be vigilant when using apps.  I met a young Egyptian guy on gaydar and once he trusted me (took several weeks of chatting) we finally met in a large public café (his request) where he described at length the trauma of being entrapped by what he insisted was a European tourist who himself had been entrapped by local police. The police attempted to recruit him into the posse of men that were used to set up these types of honey traps. He refused, paid a fine and then was let go. We became friends and used to chat regularly but he was too traumatized to go any further. (He ended up getting a scholarship to a UK uni and has lived in London for years). At the time, I was not able to work out how widespread this practice was but assumed it was used to extort money from Egyptians by certain members/cells in the Cairo police force rather then being an organized campaign to clamp down on 'homosexual' activity.  No idea if this still happens. 
As Bruno suggests, much of the M2M activity is based around pleasure and not really related to identity as such. Generally, sexual categories like gay, bisexual etc are understood as  artefacts of (primarily) western cultures. Though at the same time, thanks to the  social mediatization/globalization of 'gay identity' I did meet several guys who did indeed 'identify' as gay. Interestingly, for two guys I knew, this identification was refracted through an active/passive, masculine/feminine lens - to be 'gay' was to be passive and feminine - a widespread understanding across the MENA region. On the other hand, I knew a couple of guys who did not relate to this at all. For them, being gay was not just about sexual desire but also aligned to ideas about 'freedom' i.e. from the norms/expectations of family, friends and communities. They could not wait to flee from Egypt and leave behind what they saw as the strictures imposed by an Arabic-Islamic culture(s) that inhibited/repressed their sense of 'self'. At the same time, I also met during my three years, a couple of guys who seemed to have, from my perspective, integrated their beliefs and (so-called) traditional values with their other nocturnal homosocial/homosexual .  I ended up living across the Middle East for many years (until COVID hit) and speaking generally, in my experience, this 'integrated' approach seemed to be the norm - particularly in the Gulf states (Saudi especially!). 

I also lived in Cairo - for three years. Slightly earlier than Bruno. His description of his time there is pretty close to my own experiences and observations. However, Ale4co's question regarding  gay dating apps being used to target users is an important reminder to be vigilant when using apps.  I met a young Egyptian guy on gaydar and once he trusted me (took several weeks of chatting) we finally met in a large public café (his request) where he described at length the trauma of being entrapped by what he insisted was a European tourist who himself had been entrapped by local police. The police attempted to recruit him into the posse of men that were used to set up these types of honey traps. He refused, paid a fine and then was let go. We became friends and used to chat regularly but he was too traumatized to go any further. (He ended up getting a scholarship to a UK uni and has lived in London for years). At the time, I was not able to work out how widespread this practice was but assumed it was used to extort money from Egyptians by certain members/cells in the Cairo police force rather then being an organized campaign to clamp down on 'homosexual' activity.  No idea if this still happens. 
As Bruno suggests, much of the M2M activity is based around pleasure and not really related to identity as such. Generally, sexual categories like gay, bisexual etc are understood as  artefacts of (primarily) western cultures. Though at the same time, thanks to the  social mediatization/globalization of 'gay identity' I did meet several guys who did indeed 'identify' as gay. Interestingly, for two guys I knew, this identification was refracted through an active/passive, masculine/feminine lens - to be 'gay' was to be passive and feminine - a widespread understanding across the MENA region. On the other hand, I knew a couple of guys who did not relate to this at all. For them, being gay was not just about sexual desire but also aligned to ideas about 'freedom' i.e. from the norms/expectations of family, friends and communities. They could not wait to flee from Egypt and leave behind what they saw as the strictures imposed by an Arabic-Islamic culture(s) that inhibited/repressed their sense of 'self'. At the same time, I also met during my three years, a couple of guys who seemed to have, from my perspective, integrated their beliefs and (so-called) traditional values with their other nocturnal homosocial/homosexual .  I ended up living across the Middle East for many years (until COVID hit) and speaking generally, in my experience, this 'integrated' approach seemed to be the norm - particularly in the Gulf states (Saudi especially!).