Something I've noticed this summer. Every time a relationship is about to end I find myself smoking more - even though I'm not consciously aware that the relationship is about to end.

I think from now on whenever I find myself smoking two packs instead of one a day, I'm going to start looking for a new partner, so I'm prepared for what's to come.

Anyone else notice patterns in their lives when relationships are about to tank?

Anyone else notice patterns in their lives when relationships are about to tank?

Re-reading his life insurance policy.

In my case I'd be more worried about them re-reading mine!

Ah. You have to take out life insurance on them. Immediately you meet, to allow for a plausibly deniable time interval.

In any event...

He: Do you smoke after sex?

She: Don't know, I never looked.

I think the average 20 year old guy would get suspicious if a dude in his late 30s wanted to take out a life insurance policy on him.

I think the average 20 year old guy would get suspicious if a dude in his late 30s wanted to take out a life insurance policy on him.

Surely your powers of persuasion by now are sufficient to manage the thoughts of the average 20 year old.

If not, you are not throwing enough money on him at the front end.

I thought the point of "dating" was that it gave me a break from throwing money at them!

I thought the point of "dating" was that it gave me a break from throwing money at them!

Ah, naive boy.

I wish I had known it was all about the money when I was young and in demand.

I just gave it away!

To get back to the specific case, wouldn't the double-barreled cigarette breath more or less help the breakup along by convincing the other that it's not such a bad idea?

Nope.

I've never had sex with a non smoker and I never, ever will.

I don't care how hot the guy is, if he doesn't smoke I have no interest in him.