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Drugs

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The real reason not to do drugs that the government won't tell you:

1 Pot. Eating pizza and watching cartoons all day doesn't make you cool. It makes you seven years old.

2. Speed/Tina. Being skinny and awake all the time isn't as much fun as you think it is when you don't have teeth.

3. Heroin. Look, your grandma likes her TV. Let her keep it.

4. Ectasy. Do you really want to wake up thinking you were fucking a 10, only to look at him in bed and realize he's a 1?

5. Cocaine. Insomnia plus diaraeea is not worth being able to stay up and party at the club an extra hour or two.

6. Halucingens. Go watch a Phish video on YouTube. If you use these drugs you'll eventually think their music is good. Is that really worth it?

Cosby had a drug bit that included:

On weed paranoia -- "Why ... is the sofa ... tilting up on one end?"

On coke -- "People say, 'Oh, it makes you more intense!' Yeah ... but what if you're already an asshole?"

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