OK...here's one for you locals. The next time you need your dimper sucked, head on over to Mike Beauty and Massage. You'll find it located right next door to Mike Billiards inside the Mike Hotel, conveniently situated above the Mike department Store on Mike, err, Second Road. That is of course if you can figure out what and where your dimper is! And while there, don't forget to ask about the Vitamin-E mud (does it come in pill or tablet form?).

 

Note the sign indicating that the establishment is open in spite of the chains on the door, another efuddlement I have encountere4d several times in LOS.

I've just updated my "things to do list" for my continuing retirement in Chiangmai: Watch out for wily Chinese surreptitiously trying to feed me powdered puppy penis.

 

Only if you have a Thai-Chinese BF who's wildly jealous about you - and where you plan to leave your worldly goods when you no longer need them, Bob. And it ain't gonna be no puppy's dinger what gets slipped into your bangers and mash. We Asians do believe 'the bigger the better' too, but in this case, we also say 'the bigger, the blacker the better' so you're more likely to get some handsome Alsatian's involuntary contribution!

 

Xian

 

PS

Beware of funny smelling rice too. Another fabulous Asian love charm (common in Malaysia, Singapore and Thailand, as far as I know) is a pot of rice which has been passed between the legs of a squatting person - traditionally a pregnant or menstruating woman, but I wouldn't put it past an enterprising lady boy to try it anyway!

 

PPS

In Malaysia, it's called nasi kang-kang. I don't know what it's called in Thailand.

I don't know what it's called in Thailand.

Neither do I, but I'll bet whatever it's called, it's not called Manna from Heaven.

+ I've noticed that most magazines sold at stores have covers written entirely in English. Similarly, UBC magazine presents headlines for synopses of upcoming shows in English. But, the content of both is in Thai. What's the point of that? Thais aren't going to be attracted to a medium whose cover they can't read and farang aren't gong to understand what any of the stories are about.

 

It's fashionable to do this... English is associated with being more educated.

I used to work as a 4* and 5* hotel PR manager and believe me, you'd be surprised at how many Asians I've met, who've graduated from England/America/Australia and automatically assume that they 'spik en lite Inglis' properly.

 

That's true... I'm often surprised how badly even the most highly-educated Singaporeans, for example, are at getting their English grammar correct.

I see many English grammar mistakes on the boards from native English speakers. I don't know if it's because they are in a hurry or are just ignorant of correct grammar.

Most of the time, they're in a hurry. Sometimes they just have very poor writing skills and/or are ignorant/unintelligent.

 

Having said, that, you'd be surprised how bad grammar is in the professional working world with e-mails and such. I get some shocking messages from the CEOs of small companies... But the guys working at the top of their field or managing large top-tier companies are usually quite good. Maybe that's saying something...

I see many English grammar mistakes on the boards from native English speakers. I don't know if it's because they are in a hurry or are just ignorant of correct grammar.

 

I never noticed that!! Actually I am raising my hand, guilty as charged. I think in my case it is that my fingers don't sometimes type what my beebee brain tells them to...so make for a mess once in a while!!

No, on the whole your posts and most posters are great. No one expects casual e-mails and informal posting on a board like this to be completely typo free!... But some people are bad to the extent that it makes them look unintelligent and it gets difficult to understand what they're trying to say.

No, on the whole your posts and most posters are great. No one expects casual e-mails and informal posting on a board like this to be completely typo free!... But some people are bad to the extent that it makes them look unintelligent and it gets difficult to understand what they're trying to say.

 

What was that you were trying to say...LOL..just kidding!!

 

 

Having said, that, you'd be surprised how bad grammar is in the professional working world with e-mails and such.

I am not surprised considering the amount of poor grammar I hear from news reporters on TV. I was not referring to typos; I mean things like "I know a man that...." - using there when their is meant. Not using me/I correctly etc.

Oh, the bad grammar I was referring to gets a lot worse than that LOL.

 

I have a policy now. If I get an e-mail that's not clear or coherent, I don't call or try to decipher it. I just reply and say, please clarify. I'm fed up with people not being able to communicate coherently.