oreos Posted 3 hours ago Posted 3 hours ago I would like some advice about whether sending some condolence money (?) to a boy after the passing of his father would be appropriate, welcomed, or if the whole idea is absurd. I did offer (as we send some money in our country even if we cannot attend the funeral and I am of the understanding there is a similar culture in laos), but his reply was vague and left me directionless. For context: we are not of long acquaintance, but at the beginning of a 2-month-long trip that started approximately 2 and a half months ago, we met (or rather we saw each other) at one of the bars, and over the course of my travels I managed to off him 3 times. My only regret was not meeting him more in lieu of other boys; indeed, I was considering flying to bkk next weekend to see him again as I knew that he would return home soon after songkran. Reaching out via Line to check his schedule was when I learned of the passing of his father. He was not the one who proffered this information, but his profile pic was one that suggested of such an event, and I was the one who initiated the exchange. Upon which I learned he had returned only a couple of days I had left bkk, over two weeks ago, and the funeral had already concluded. I have yet to have any friends whose parents have passed (apart from one instance in middle school), and this is wholly uncharted territory for me, made complicated more so by the nature of our relationship. I am fully aware he is a prostitute, it is not a good idea to offer or send money, and that our relationship is likely to never develop past the client-service provider stage. However, I think most would agree that the passing of a father is not a typical event, and despite the aforementioned reasons I cannot help but wanting to help him out during what must be a difficult time to say the least (he is the only son, I think). As insignificant as the gesture must be I cannot think of any other way that would aid him in his grief. I did ask him if he needed anything, and later directly asked him if he needed money for the funeral arrangements or condolence money. His reply was that he is grieving the loss currently and doesn't know what else to tell me. Any further probes from me must feel like a violation during what must be an agonizing time I cannot begin to comprehend, and I am hesitant to reach out again. Any advice on how to proceed, or even just how to provide comfort, meager it may be, to someone who has lost a loved one would be greatly appreciated. Or alternatively, please feel free to tell me how stupid I am to be considering sending money to a bar boy I've stayed together for a total of 3 grand times. Khop khun mak krap Quote
vinapu Posted 1 hour ago Posted 1 hour ago 1 hour ago, oreos said: Or alternatively, please feel free to tell me how stupid I am to be considering sending money to a bar boy I've stayed together for a total of 3 grand times. You are not stupid. You just want to help somebody who you feel deserved it. Whether you saw him 3 times or 333 , it's irrelevant. Don't overthink it , just send what you feel like. Your good karma will follow . In beginning of Covid, upon learning boy I met only once but was very impressed with, got stuck in his native Cambodia and took very low job , just to stay afloat, with help of forum friend I sent him some money. Boy barely remembered me if at all and yet, 2 years later when we met by chance in soi 4 he recognized me then, thanking me several times. Rest i.e. subsequent multiple offs is just a history jimmie50 and bkkmfj2648 2 Quote
