Great One Liners

[TotallyOz]

I'll start:

Raisin Cookies That Look Like Chocolate Chip Cookies Are The Main Reason I Have Trust Issues.

[Guest EXPAT]

"Vulgarity is not a substitution for wit." - Maggie Smith from last night's "Downton Abbey".

[AdamSmith]

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying." Oscar Wilde

[MsGuy]

For AdamSmith:

“To be sure, the Road of Excess leads to the Palace of Wisdom, even when it takes you through the Valley of the Nest of Spiders. Just watch out for parasites.”
― Samuel R. Delany, Through the Valley of the Nest of Spiders

Found while searching unsucessfully for Delany's version of "Too much is never enough."

[BiBottomBoy]

I never forget a face, but in your case I'd make an exception.

[ihpguy]

"Then you must be from New York"

[wayout]

Having sex is like playing bridge because if you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand

[Guest hitoallusa]

You can't handle the truth!

[AdamSmith]

“Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.” Dorothy Parker

[AdamSmith]

H.P. Lovecraft dismissing a hack journalist's attack on him: "It refuted itself."

[caeron]

Dorothy Parker is a real treasure trove of great lines:

“Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.”
― Dorothy Parker

[BigK]

_{It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.}

_{Mark Twain}

[RA1]

I hope no one minds if I do an aviation saying. Helicopters don't actually fly. They are so ugly the earth repels them.

I liked all the others.

Best regards,

RA1

[AdamSmith]

That is hilarious.

I bet winged-aircraft designers feel that way about copters too. I'll have to ask around.

[AdamSmith]

"You are drunk, Sir Winston. You are disgustingly drunk."

"Yes, Mrs Braddock, I am drunk. And you, Mrs Braddock, are ugly, and disgustingly fat. But tomorrow morning I, Winston Churchill, will be sober."

Another from Sir Winston: "I am easily satisfied with the best."

Also: "You can always count on Americans to do the right thing -- after they've tried everything else."

[RA1]

Sir Winnie was definitely indefatigable.

Best regards,

RA1

[Gotti]

Despite agreeing with the uglyness of helicopters is worth noticing that one of them (do not ask me which) is in the permanent collection of the Museum of Modern Art in NY (MOMA), in the design section.

[Guest josephga]

Look out for number one, but don't step in number two

[Guest josephga]

Wish in one hand & Shit in the other & see which one fills up the fastest.

[RA1]

Despite agreeing with the uglyness of helicopters is worth noticing that one of them (do not ask me which) is in the permanent collection of the Museum of Modern Art in NY (MOMA), in the design section.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I am not about to disparage the utility of the helicopter. Apparently we need garbage trucks, honey wagons, helicopters and the like but please don't ask me to "drive one" for fun.

Best regards,

RA1

[Guest josephga]

I have a new one I used the other day during a argument with someone. during the argument she said bitch please. my response.

Bitch? I'm not holding a mirror, your not looking at yourself.

[Guest hitoallusa]

Lol... I don't like ladies using bad words... It's so unbecoming...

[AdamSmith]

I swear this is Oscar Wilde but can't find it anywhere.

On being introduced to some dowager: "What a splendid ruin of what must once have been a quite magnificent ugliness!"

[Guest BudFoxx]

I did not have sexual relations, with that Escort, Noah Driver.

-Citylaw1 in an interview with Obsessive–Compulsive Disorder magazine 1/6/2013