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AdamSmith

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Everything posted by AdamSmith

  1. Bitch stole my shoes!
  2. That was the nickname they gave me at club Escuelita in NYC.
  3. Crunchy Frog Inspector: 'ELLO! Mr. Hilton: 'Ello. Inspector: Mr. 'ilton? Hilton: A-yes? Inspector: You are the sole proprietor and owner of the Whizzo Chocolate Company? Mr. Hilton: I am, yes. Inspector: Constable Clitoris and I are from the 'ygiene squad, and we'd like to have a word with you about your box of chocolates entitled the 'Whizzo Quality Assortment'. Mr. Hilton: Oh, yes. Inspector: If I may begin at the beginning. First there is the Cherry Fondue. Now this is extremely nasty. (pause) But we can't prosecute you for that. Mr. Hilton: Ah, agreed. Inspector: Then we have number four. Number four: Crunchy Frog. Mr. Hilton: Yes. Inspector: Am I right in thinking there's a real frog in 'ere? Mr. Hilton: Yes, a little one. Inspector: What sort of frog? Mr. Hilton: A...a *dead* frog. Inspector: Is it cooked? Mr. Hilton: No. Inspector: What, a RAW frog?!? Mr. Hilton: Oh, we use only the finest baby frogs, dew-picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in the finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and sealed in a succulent, Swiss, quintuple-smooth, treble-milk chocolate envelope, and lovingly frosted with glucose. Inspector: That's as may be, but it's still a frog! Mr. Hilton: What else? Inspector: Well, don't you even take the bones out? Mr. Hilton: If we took the bones out, it wouldn't be crunchy, would it? Inspector: Constable Clitoris et one of those!! We have to protect the public! Constable: Uh, would you excuse me a moment, Sir? (exits) Inspector: We have to protect the public! People aren't going to think there's a real frog in chocolate! Constable Clitoris thought it was an almond whirl! They're bound to expect some sort of mock frog! Mr. Hilton: (outraged) MOCK frog!?! We use NO artificial additives or preservatives of ANY kind! Inspector: Nevertheless, I advise you in future to replace the words 'Crunchy Frog' with the legend, 'Crunchy, Raw, Unboned Real Dead Frog' if you wish to avoid prosecution! Mr. Hilton: What about our sales? Inspector: FUCK your sales! We've got to protect the public! Now what about this one, number five, it was number five, wasn't it? Number five: Ram's Bladder Cup. (beat) Now, what sort of confectionery is that? Mr. Hilton: Oh, we use only the finest juicy chunks of fresh Cornish Ram's bladder, emptied, steamed, flavoured with sesame seeds, whipped into a fondue, and garnished with lark's vomit. Inspector: LARK'S VOMIT?!?!? Mr. Hilton: Correct. Inspector: It doesn't say anything here about lark's vomit! Mr. Hilton: Ah, it does, on the bottom of the box, after 'monosodium glutamate'. Inspector: I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!' Mr. Hilton: Our sales would plummet! Inspector: (screaming) Well why don't you move into more conventional areas of confectionary??!! (the constable returns) Inspector: Like Praline, or, or Lime Creme, a very popular flavor, I'm lead to understand. Or Raspberry Delite. I mean, what's this one, what's this one? 'Ere we are: Cockroach Cluster! -- Anthrax Ripple! Constable: MMMMWWWAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!! (Throws up in helmet) Inspector: (continuing) And what is this one: Spring Surprise? Mr. Hilton: Ah, that's one of our specialities. Covered in dark, velvety chocolate, when you pop it into your mouth, stainless steel bolts spring out and plunge straight through both cheeks. Inspector: (stunned) Well where's the pleasure in THAT?!? If people pop a nice little chockie into their mouth, they don't expect to get their cheeks pierced!!! In any case, it is an inadequate description of the sweetmeat. I shall have to ask you to accompany me to the station. Mr. Hilton: (shrugging) It's a fair cop. Inspector: And DON'T talk to the audience. http://www.montypython.net/scripts/crunchy.php
  4. Comparison shopping... ...cognitive pissonance?
  5. LOL The green juices in that brand are the first I've ever had that tasted good.
  6. PS Here's that juice brand whose praises I was singing...
  7. ...like this?
  8. All that blond wood!
  9. Or maybe this?
  10. ...like this?
  11. Hardly an either/or! ...unless, I guess, one really is a Carthusian.
  12. AMEN http://carthusians.blogspot.com/
  13. LMMFAO Isnt that a violation of forum rules re my anonymity?
  14. My fav OJ right now is some schmancy "cold-pressed" version in the brand of various juices that Starbucks sells. That brand also has two varieties of green vegetable-juice drinks that are the first very appealing, not to say even minimally palatable, versions of such that I've ever found. My am routine these days is awake around 4-4:30am (going to bed at 8pm right after putting the aged mama to bed), little bowl of cereal and glass of Ocean Spray cran-pomegranate juice at home, then wake myself up with a 2-mile quick walk to Starbucks, where to have a juice of some kind and a grande dark roast. Then sit there a couple hours attacking the day's work of hand markup of printouts of yesterday's writing for my bidness. Productive! Juiced up like that, I can usually get all my needed work done by lunchtime. Then the whole afternoon to walk around outdoors and THINK. Something it appears never to occur to my competitors to do.
  15. No surprise, but to see it in pictures is dramatic and sad. http://www.businessinsider.com/rio-olympic-venues-are-abandoned-just-6-months-after-games-2017-2/#the-olympic-golf-course-took-three-years-to-make-and-caused-much-ire-because-it-was-built-in-a-national-wildlife-reserve-now-its-rundown-and-empty-1
  16. Let me be more specific. Hooboy's revenue came mainly from banner ads purchased by the escort advertising sites, of which 20 years ago there were many, and by porn-for-pay web sites. You can see how both those revenue streams have dried up. Your points about reviews are accurate, but irrelevant.
  17. FIVE intelligence agencies are already deep into his drawers over pretty certain-looking Russian direct financial involvement in his campaign. A BIG no-no. As I said: Patience, folks. The Framers were far from uncognizant of the possibility, indeed likelihood, that the Executive chair would eventually come to be occupied by a knave & fool. They had just had this run-in with their own George, right? I for one look forward to watching their ingeniously crafted machinery grind forward in its measured but ultimately inexorable operation. "Our Constitution works." Gerald Ford
  18. That's exactly how I cruise too.
  19. Hooboy invented that business model 20 years ago. Things change and times move on. The gentleman is selling buggy whips in the automotive age.
  20. "Good advice costs nothing and it's Worth the price!" Allan Sherman

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