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AdamSmith

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Everything posted by AdamSmith

  1. Now, I will come to MsGuy's defense when you accuse him of such a limp-wristed way to drink. All of us down here below the Manson-Nixon line take our poison straight. With lead solder.
  2. Their willingness might depend on a double-wide what!
  3. Mark was the stuff of dreams. Kind, caring, attentive. Enough to make all of my friends jealous. But today something horrible happened, something that I wouldn’t wish on even my worst enemy. I found out something about Mark that will forever change my opinion about him, and my ability to trust men has been forever shattered. Shortly after dinner, my best friend Jessica called me and told me she had some information to share with me about Mark. I begged her to just tell me over the phone, but she insisted that it had to be in person. So we met up an hour later at the Jitterbug Cafe, our favorite java-spot to sip cappuccino and check out acoustic guitar music on a Friday Night. However, tonight the sound of acoustic guitar music would be replaced with the sound of tears, sniffling, tissues being removed from tissue packets and other sounds that indicate that something sad is happening. It was there at the cafe that Jessica told me the bad news: Mark is actually just a couple of old hot dogs inside of a very tiny, mohair sweater. At first I couldn’t believe the words she was saying as they were coming out of her mouth. I’d heard of this happening to other girls, but I never thought it would happen to me. But the more I thought about it, the clues all started to add up; his occasional odor of old hot dogs, his refusal to ever speak and his inability to walk across the room on his own accord. I asked Jessica to explain to me how she found out the truth about Mark. She told me that she started to piece it all together when she observed a text message conversation between Mark and I. She noticed that Mark wasn’t responding to anything I was saying to him. And that’s because he’s a couple of old hot dogs, and hot dogs can’t text. And even though Mark was the star point guard in our schools basketball team, nobody could ever recall Mark actually participating in any of the games. Instead he would always just sit on the sidelines; typical behavior for a person that is not really a person but really just a couple of generic hot dogs inside of a mini sweater. But perhaps the most revealing moment was last week at Nolan’s bonfire, when Mark was actually mistaken for a pack of hot dogs. We all laughed it off. “How hilarious! Rachel just thought Mark was a pack of hot dogs! Maybe take it easy on the buzz juice, Rachel!” And although Rachel does seem to have a problem with alcohol consumption, this was the night that Jessica finally realized the truth about Mark. This is a reality facing young girls everywhere today: somewhere out there, someone is knitting tiny, little mohair sweaters, filling them with stinky, old hot dogs and then putting them into circulation as real people. Often they go ignored; faceless in an endless sea of people. You may have sat across from one on a crowded bus without even noticing. But other times they’re courted by young, vulnerable girls whose only mistake is that they’re looking for love in a world that is so, so cold. I really thought I was going to marry Mark, that he was going to be the one. My friends got along with him, my family approved. I never thought he would do this to me: reveal that he was actually just a couple of old frankfurters nestled within a sweater fit for a newborn. But I suppose if there’s one thing that I’ve learned from this whole ordeal, it’s that not everybody turns out to be the person you think they are. https://medium.com/@aaaaaaaaaandrew/today-i-learned-something-about-my-boyfriend-that-no-girl-should-ever-have-to-discover-7799910315af
  4. big jim and the twins the schlong and the nuts the sausage and eggs the wang and the balls the banana and the apples you know the man parts the penis and the testicles!!! http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=big+jim+and+the+twins
  5. Chuck Hagel Includes Gay Sailor's Proposal In Holiday Message The Huffington Post | By James Nichols Posted:12/30/2014 10:42 am EST Updated: 12/30/2014 10:59 am EST https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=R0cuGgXd8sE Well, this is a lovely statement of solidarity for the holidays. U.S. Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel and his wife Lilibet released a holiday message to men and women of the Defense Department last week that included an image of MM2 2nd Class Jerrel Revels' proposal to his boyfriend Dylan Kirchner. This viral gay marriage proposal happened in 2013, just two short years after the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." A gay military couple has reportedly never before been included in the Defense Secretary's holiday message for the troops. Check out the video above! (h/t Towleroad) http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/30/chuck-hagel-gay-couple_n_6395714.html?utm_hp_ref=tw
  6. Maybe if it was a bedbug-shaped mint? Or a chocolate-covered grasshopper?
  7. Kremlin critic Alexei Navalny gets suspended sentence but brother jailed http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/dec/30/kremlin-critic-navalny-given-suspended-sentence-brother-jailed
  8. Forbes, no less. Obama Outperforms Reagan On Jobs, Growth And Investing By Adam Hartung | Forbes | 09/05/2014 The Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) today issued America’s latest jobs report covering August. And it’s a disappointment. The economy created an additional 142,000 jobs last month. After six consecutive months over 200,000, most pundits expected the string to continue, including ADP which just yesterday said 204,000 jobs were created in August. One month variation does not change a trend Even though the plus-200,000 monthly string was broken (unless revised upward at a future date,) unemployment did continue to decline and is now reported at only 6.1%. Jobless claims were just over 300,000; lowest since 2007. Despite the lower than expected August jobs number, America will create about 2.5 million new jobs in 2014. And that is great news. Back in May, 2013 (15 months ago) the Dow was out of its recession doldrums and hitting new highs. I asked readers if Obama could, economically, be the best modern President? Through discussion of that question, the number one issue raised by readers was whether the stock market was a good economic barometer for judging “best.” Many complained that the measure they were watching was jobs – and that too many people were still looking for work. To put this week’s jobs report in economic perspective I reached out to Bob Deitrick, CEO of Polaris Financial Partners and author of Bulls, Bears and the Ballot Box (which I profiled in October, 2012 just before the election) for some explanation. Since then Polaris’ investor newsletters have consistently been the best predictor of economic performance. Better than all the major investment houses. This is the best private sector jobs creation performance in American history Bob Deitrick: ”President Reagan has long been considered the best modern economic President. So we compared his performance dealing with the oil-induced recession of the 1980s with that of President Obama and his performance during this ‘Great Recession.’ “As this unemployment chart shows, President Obama’s job creation kept unemployment from peaking at as high a level as President Reagan, and promoted people into the workforce faster than President Reagan. “President Obama has achieved a 6.1% unemployment rate in his sixth year, fully one year faster than President Reagan did. At this point in his presidency, President Reagan was still struggling with 7.1% unemployment, and he did not reach into the mid-low 6% range for another full year. So, despite today’s number, the Obama administration has still done considerably better at job creating and reducing unemployment than did the Reagan administration. “We forecast unemployment will fall to around 5.4% by summer, 2015. A rate President Reagan was unable to achieve during his two terms.” What about the Labor Participation Rate? Much has been made about the poor results of the labor participation rate, which has shown more stubborn recalcitrance as this rate remains higher even as jobs have grown. Deitrick: “The labor participation rate adds in jobless part time workers and those in marginal work situations with those seeking full time work. This is not a “hidden” unemployment. It is a measure tracked since 1900 and called ‘U6.’ today by the BLS. “As this chart shows, the difference between reported unemployment and all unemployment – including those on the fringe of the workforce – has remained pretty constant since 1994. Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics – Databases, Tables and Calculators by Subject “Labor participation is affected much less by short-term job creation, and much more by long-term demographic trends. As this chart from the BLS shows, as the Baby Boomers entered the workforce and societal acceptance of women working changed, labor participation grew. “Now that ‘Boomers’ are retiring we are seeing the percentage of those seeking employment decline. This has nothing to do with job availability, and everything to do with a highly predictable aging demographic. “What’s now clear is that the Obama administration policies have outperformed the Reagan administration policies for job creation and unemployment reduction. Even though Reagan had the benefit of a growing Boomer class to ignite economic growth, while Obama has been forced to deal with a retiring workforce developing special needs. During the eight years preceding Obama there was a net reduction in jobs in America. We now are rapidly moving toward higher, sustainable jobs growth.” Economic growth, including manufacturing, is driving jobs When President Obama took office America was gripped in an offshoring boom, started years earlier, pushing jobs to the developing world. Manufacturing was declining in America, and plants were closing across the nation. This week the Institute for Supply Management (ISM) released its manufacturing report, and it surprised nearly everyone. The latest Purchasing Managers Index (PMI) scored 59, two points higher than July and about that much higher than prognosticators expected. This represents 63 straight months of economic expansion, and 25 consecutive months of manufacturing expansion. New orders were up 3.3 points to 66.7, with 15 consecutive months of improvement and reaching the highest level since April, 2004 – five years prior to Obama becoming President. Not surprisingly, this economic growth provided for 14 consecutive months of improvement in the employment index. Meaning that the “grass roots” economy made its turn for the better just as the DJIA was reaching those highs back in 2013 – demonstrating that index is still the leading indicator for jobs that it has famously always been. As the last 15 months have proven, jobs and economy are improving, and investors are benefiting The stock market has converted the long-term growth in jobs and GDP into additional gains for investors. Recently the S&P has crested 2,000 – reaching new all time highs. Gains made by investors earlier in the Obama administration have further grown, helping businesses raise capital and improving the nest eggs of almost all Americans. And laying the foundation for recent, and prolonged job growth. Deitrick: ”While most Americans think they are not involved with the stock market, truthfully they are. Via their 401K, pension plan and employer savings accounts 2/3 of Americans have a clear vested interest in stock performance. “As this chart shows, over the first 67 months of their presidencies there is a clear “winner” from an investor’s viewpoint. A dollar invested when Reagan assumed the presidency would have yielded a staggering 190% return. Such returns were unheard of prior to his leadership. “However, it is undeniable that President Obama has surpassed the previous president. Investors have gained a remarkable 220% over the last 5.5 years! This level of investor growth is unprecedented by any administration, and has proven quite beneficial for everyone. “In 2009, with pension funds underfunded and most private retirement accounts savaged by the financial meltdown and Wall Street losses, Boomers and Seniors were resigned to never retiring. The nest egg appeared gone, leaving the ‘chickens’ to keep working. But now that the coffers have been reloaded increasingly people age 55 – 70 are happily discovering they can quit their old jobs and spend time with family, relax, enjoy hobbies or start new at-home businesses from their laptops or tablets. It is due to a skyrocketing stock market that people can now pursue these dreams and reduce the labor participation rates for ‘better pastures.” Where myth meets reality There is another election in just eight weeks. Statistics will be bandied about. Monthly data points will be hotly contested. There will be a lot of rhetoric by candidates on all sides. But, understanding the prevailing trends is critical. Recognizing that first the economy, then the stock market and now jobs are all trending upward is important – even as all 3 measures will have short-term disappointments. There are a lot of reasons voters elect a candidate. Jobs and the economy are just one category of factors. But, for those who place a high priority on jobs, economic performance and the markets the data clearly demonstrates which presidential administration has performed best. And shows a very clear trend one can expect to continue into 2015. Economically, President Obama’s administration has outperformed President Reagan’s in all commonly watched categories. Simultaneously the current administration has reduced the deficit, which skyrocketed under Reagan. Additionally, Obama has reduced federal employment, which grew under Reagan (especially when including military personnel,) and truly delivered a “smaller government.” Additionally, the current administration has kept inflation low, even during extreme international upheaval, failure of foreign economies (Greece) and a dramatic slowdown in the European economy. [Update 10/4/14 - August jobs report revised upward to 180,000 as September jobs creation returns to 248,000 lowering unemployment rate to 5.9% - lowest unemployment number in 6 years. [update 10/16/14 - Initial claims for unemployment drop to the lowest level in 14 years - all the way back to 2000 - indicating an improved economy, additional jobs and fewer people looking for work.] [Update 11/7/14 - Jobs created in August was revised upward to 203,000 - almost exactly where ADP had the number in August. September was also revised upward to 256,000. Unemployment falls to 5.8% as October is initially reported at 214,000, making 9 consecutive months above 200,000. ] [Update 12/7/14 - Jobs growth continues in November, with over 300,000 new jobs in America it is the largest monthly employment increase in 3 years; while simultaneously wages rise as well.] http://www.forbes.com/sites/adamhartung/2014/09/05/obama-outperforms-reagan-on-jobs-growth-and-investing/
  9. Rather than any such title or similar existing, isn't he saying simply, as you imply, that his title of baron will expire with him? "...normally, only male heirs are allowed to succeed to the peerage." http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hereditary_peer See also, for exhaustive and exhausting detail: http://www.jobev.com/title.html If there is some subtlety I am missing, point me and I will take up the chase again, styling myself on the dry tedious old cleric Dr Casaubon in Middlemarch writing his endless 'Key to All Mythologies,' of whom one of the local dowagers asks what is his family crest, and another beldame answers, 'No doubt three Cuttlefish sable with a Commentator rampant.'
  10. Robert: "They do say there's a wild man inside all of us." Violet: "If only he would stay inside."
  11. Isobel: "I think Cousin Robert is referring to Ethel's work as a prostitute." Violet: ". . . Well, of course these days servants are very hard to find."
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