AdamSmith

Michelin Tire Men Celebrate DOMA Demise?

Rainbow hazmat suits!

Pope's Reform Path: Francis Shakes Up Church Establishment By Hans-Jürgen Schlamp in Rome, SPIEGEL July 6, 2013 It appears Pope Francis truly wants to change the Catholic Church. He's reforming the Vatican Bank first, but he's also circumventing the old guard wherever he can. The establishment is up in arms. A cardinal in Rome earns about ?3,000 ($3,888) a month, even less than a pastor in Germany. But a cardinal's life in Rome is a lot more expensive -- with visits to restaurants and shopping at boutiques for the upscale clothing men of the church are expected to wear, not to mention their jewelry and the antiques they display in their apartments. So it's good to have friends who can treat you or otherwise provide support now and then. Friends are also happy to give a cardinal a hand -- and not just out of religious considerations. A cardinal can be helpful in both political and business terms. So it's not surprising that a symbiotic relationship between parts of the Curia and the upper class around the world has formed -- one that brings together the establishment, luxury and power. It's a nice little tradition that new Pope Francis would like to put an end to. For the Catholic establishment, though, it is nothing less than a catastrophe. A 'Sick' Church of 'Theological Narcissism' Even before his enthronement as pope, when he was still a cardinal, Jorge Mario Bergoglio had spoken clearly about this. During his speech to the cardinal conclave, he warned that, "When the church does not emerge from itself to evangalize, it becomes self-referential and therefore becomes sick." He warned of "self-referentiality" and "theological narcissism." He also criticized a "mundane church that lives within itself, of itself and for itself." And it appears the Argentinian pope meant this criticism seriously. In fact, he demonstrates that every day. Instead of wearing a gold cross, he has one of steel. And he lives in a sparsely furnished apartment in the Santa Marta guest house rather than in the Apostolic Palace. Instead of taking his seat in the Vatican concert hall to listen to classical music, he recently remained at his desk working on the final version of his decree for the church-state's own Institute for Religious Works (IOR) bank. With his signature, he created a powerful special papal commission to review the bank's activities. He also said the new commission must change everything at the Vatican Bank, as it is also known. He said the Vatican certainly needed a bank, but its areas of business should only reach a "certain point." A Papal Bank with Mafia Contacts For decades now, the IOR has been in the headlines for one scandal after the other. At the beginning of the 1980s, it was at the center of one of the darkest crime thrillers in postwar Italian history. The scandal surrounded billions in business with the mafia, and a Vatican banker was hanged from a London bridge by a killer commando. But the chain of scandals never let up. When, in autumn 2010, fresh suspicions of money laundering to the tune of triple-digit millions emerged, then Pope Benedict XVI promised stricter rules for his financial managers. In fact, though, nothing changed. In the so-called Vatileaks scandal, secret documents that had been smuggled out of the Vatican shed light on bizarre intrigues inside the papal state. Often, the Vatican Bank played a role in those intrigues. Benedict XVI was appalled, but also overwhelmed. He failed to prevail over the powerful cardinals who backed the IOR. His resignation was the logical outcome. German Baron Takes Helm of Bank His successor is taking more decisive action. First, he fired Nunzio Scarano, the top accountant in the Vatican office that oversees Vatican property and investments, after he was accused of money laundering and corruption and arrested. Then, practically overnight, he forced out IOR Director Paulo Cipriani and his deputy. Now the bank will be led by Ernst von Freyberg, a German baron and former consultant, member of the Sovereign Military Order of Malta and the president of the IOR supervisory board since mid-February. Between now and October, Pope Francis wants to ensure clarity and also determine how the financial institute will handle its duties in harmony with the "church's mission" in the future. A that point, a new structure will be created for the bank and a new boss will be appointed. "Did we actually vote for someone who really believes in what he preaches?" some within the Curia are now whispering. Once again, Francis has taken them fully by surprise. In an almost demonstrative manner, he has been excluding the Vatican apparatus in every way he can. Most recently, this happened with the trip the pope announced he would take on Monday to the island of Lampedusa in southern Italy. Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, the Vatican secretary of state, first learned of the planned trip through a papal press release. And instead of the kind of months of advance-team work used by heads of the Catholic Church for trips in the past, Francis has dispensed with that. Instead, the eccentric Argentinian pope ordered his staff to prepare a plane so that he could fly there in the morning and be back by midday. Thousands of refugees have arrived at Lamedusa each year in desperation after making the journey across the Mediterranean from North Africa in small, dangerous boats. Francis wants to pray together with them and also throw a wreath into the sea to commemorate those who have lost their lives trying to make it to Europe. The pope has announced that he doesn't want to meet with the mayor or other authorities. He also also ordered church officials to stay away. http://abcnews.go.com/International/popes-reform-path-francis-shakes-church-establishment/story?id=19573297&page=2#.Udg-u212mTo

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A fish: The most highbrow jokes in the world Ultra-highbrow humour has become the hottest thing on the internet Andrew Johnson The Independent Friday 05 July 2013 Have you heard the one about the internet forum thread which took the world by storm? Scientists are not generally recognised for their sense of humour, but those disparagingly referred to as “geeks” by the more intellectually challenged of us have responded in their thousands to a question posed on the Reddit website: “What’s the most intellectual joke you know?” The huge number of gags – and yes, many of them are funny – cover all disciplines from physics to philosophy. They range from the accessible, such as: “A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says: ‘Five beers, please’,” to those that require a working knowledge of Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle to understand. The joke about Benoit B Mandelbrot, for example, relies on a knowledge of the scientist’s work on fractals. For all their highbrow intellectualism, however, the jokes follow traditional forms. They include puns: “Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s OK now” – as well as someone-walks-into-a-bar jokes and light-bulb-changing jokes (“How many Marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None: the lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution”). There are also plenty of jokes of the Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman format, where the usual protagonists are replaced by physicists, engineers and economists. It is rather unfair to assume that there is anything improbable about science overlapping with humour. Popular TV and radio shows such as The Big Bang Theory, Infinite Monkey Cage, Museum of Curiosity and Dara O’Briain’s School Of Hard Sums happily marry science with jokes. And, as Brian Cox, the scientist and presenter of Wonders of the Universe, points out, comedians such as O’Briain and Ben Miller are physics graduates. “There is a strange nexus between physics and comedy that I seem to be a part of,” Cox told the Daily Telegraph. “It’s a powerful if strange alliance. Dara O’Briain did mathematics and physics, and is passionate about it. Ben Miller did a PhD in physics. Robin Ince [his co-presenter on Infinite Monkey Cage] is a very good friend of mine.” Too clever by half: 25 highbrow jokes 1. A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies: “No, I’m travelling light.” 2. “Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?” 3. What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing? Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog. 4. A TCP packet walks into a bar, and says to the barman: “Hello, I’d like a beer.” The barman replies: “Hello, you’d like a beer?” “Yes,” replies the TCP packet, “I’d like a beer.” 5. An electron is driving down a motorway, and a policeman pulls him over. The policeman says: “Sir, do you realise you were travelling at 130km per hour?” The electron goes: “Oh great, now I’m lost.” 6. Pavlov is enjoying a pint in the pub. The phone rings. He jumps up and shouts: “Hell, I forgot to feed the dog!” 7. How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A fish. 8. There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that know binary, and those that don’t. 9. When I heard that oxygen and magnesium hooked up I was like OMg. 10. The barman says: “We don’t serve faster-than-light particles here.” A tachyon enters a bar. 11. A Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says: “Make me one with everything”. 12. What do you call two crows on a branch? Attempted murder. 13. An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are walking down the street together. A juggler is performing on the street but there are so many people that the four men can’t see the juggler. So the juggler goes on top of a platform and asks: “Can you see me now?” The four men answer: “Yes.” “Oui.” “Si.” “Ja.” 14. Never trust an atom. They make up everything. 15. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it’s a hardware problem. 16. A student travelling on a train looks up and sees Einstein sitting next to him. Excited, he asks: “Excuse me, professor. Does Boston stop at this train?” 17. Did you hear about the jurisprudence fetishist? He got off on a technicality. 18. Werner Heisenberg, Kurt Gödel, and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar. Heisenberg turns to the other two and says: “Clearly this is a joke, but how can we figure out if it’s funny or not?” Gödel replies: “We can’t know that because we’re inside the joke.” Chomsky says: “Of course it’s funny. You’re just telling it wrong.” 19. A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says: “Five beers, please.” 20. Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now. 21. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The bartender says: “What’ll it be, boys?” The first mathematician: “I’ll have one half of a beer.” The second mathematician: “I’ll have one quarter of a beer.” The third mathematician: “I’ll have one eight of a beer.” The fourth mathematician: “I’ll have one sixteenth of a…” The bartender interrupts: “Know your limits, boys” as he pours out a single beer. 22. What does the “B” in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? Answer: Benoit B Mandelbrot. 23. Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French café, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress: “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.” The waitress replies: “I’m sorry, Monsieur, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?” 24. A classics professor goes to a tailor to get his trousers mended. The tailor asks: “Euripides?” The professor replies: “Yes. Eumenides?” 25. A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread. http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/how-many-surrealists-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb-a-fish-the-most-highbrow-jokes-in-the-world-8691191.html

Right thing.

Even if he were single it might not work out. Rumor has it that he enjoys sex.

I refer the right honourable gentleman to the remarks I made some moments ago.

Further to the Nagging Wife meme...

Also pinworm can be transmitted via toilet seat contact.

Odd. Working for me too now. Previously it was error "503 back end unhealthy" -- definitely undesirable! ...Wonder if the NSA is after me now? For looking at the Guardian site too much!

So at this moment, when I go to www.guardian.co.uk, I get their error screen "Sorry, we haven't been able to serve the page you asked for." Wonder if something malicious has been done to them? Will look to see how long they take to restore the site, and what they say. I saw this yesterday with a couple of their deeper buried story pages, but not the home page as now.

Love it! I Ignore Preference every chance I get. Just ask my lesbo Latina hooker gf.

LOL. Some more from the same place... City closes all schools, builds $400 million Juvenile Retention and Education Center Politics June 7, 2013 Comments: 12 The city of Altruria provides a picture of what the new Juvenile Retention and Education Center will look like. A Texas city has opted to close all seven of its schools and build one complex that officials are calling a “Juvenile Retention and Education Center.” Citing budget cutbacks, the city of Altruria is in the process of building a $400 million holding facility which will house the area’s students. Once completed, all of the school buildings will be torn down; buildings some of which were built just three years ago. Officials say that the students will then be transferred to the new facility where they will be held for 10 hours each day and will focus on memorizing and learning only administrator approved material. Continue reading → Texas legislator drops marijuana cigarette while speaking on floor Politics June 3, 2013 Comments: 94 While speaking during the Texas legislative session, representative Tom Alvin ® Altruria, dropped something unexpected on the House floor. Upon picking up the item, cameras caught a glimpse of what appeared to be a marijuana cigarette. Continue reading → Child smokes K2, eats dolls face Politics May 18, 2013 Comments: 8 ALTRURIA, Texas — A six-year-old child accused of biting a dolls head off in a kindergarten classroom allegedly smoked K2, also known as “Spice,” before the incident. Although school officials remain silent on the event, authorities from the Altruria police department were called to Altruria Elementary School on Friday afternoon, May 17, after a pipe and small bag of K2 were found in the child’s possession following an incident where the child allegedly bit the head off of a doll in a kindergarten classroom. Continue reading →

Was thinking exactly that myself!..:What do we do to get So You Think You Can Hook?

ROFL The article says the bill also requires you to get a "permit" to buy and own sex toys. Talk about a "well regulated militia"...!

lurker, I think citylaw and axiom may be onto something. There is a delicious Japanese word and concept for it: mokusatsu. It means to "treat (someone) with silent contempt." I confess this is all quite selfish -- I want to be reading and ogling your posts again.

I think this is absolutely right. I love to bake. (Food! Brain cells too of course.) Can baking improve mental health?The woman behind the Depressed Cake Shop believes it can, and is hoping her pop-up shop will get people talking about it as well as raising money for mental health charities Huma Qureshi The Guardian, Wednesday 3 July 2013 13.00 EDT Gloomy grey lemon-flavoured macaroons from the Depressed Cake Shop. Photograph: Safiyah Kelly They say baking soothes the soul. How can it not? There is something so reassuring about the ritual – quietly weighing out butter, sugar, flour, cracking eggs, whisking, beating and folding. "If you're feeling a little bit down, a bit of kneading helps," Mary Berry once said. It is not just indulging in the end results – the cake, the biscuits, the scones – that helps to brighten up a blue day, but the therapeutic process itself. This perceived connection between baking and good mental health has sparked an initiative that will see several pop-up bakeries opening across the UK. During the first weekend in August, the Depressed Cake Shop will open at venues in London, Glasgow, Derby, Cardiff and North Yorkshire, with the proceeds going to mental health charities. There is plenty of anecdotal evidence to suggest that the organiser, Emma Thomas – aka Miss Cakehead – is on to something with this idea. John Whaite, who won the Great British Bake Off in 2012, recently brought out a cookbook, Recipes for Every Day and Mood, with a chapter dedicated to lifting the spirits. Whaite has experience of depression and describes baking as his escape. For him, it is "meditative", an act of "making something destructive into something constructive, and at the end of it you've got something to be proud of, something to eat, something to show off". Novelist Marian Keyes has also used baking to help her deal with depression. In her book, Saved by Cake, she writes: "Baking hasn't cured me. But it gets me through … To be perfectly blunt about it, my choice sometimes is: I can kill myself or I can make a dozen cupcakes. Right, so I'll do the cupcakes and I can kill myself tomorrow." Keyes and Whaite have spurred many bloggers to share stories of how baking helped with depression like this one who writes about how baking gave her a sense of achievement, or this young mother, who, overwhelmed after the birth of her baby, baked her way through Mary Berry's Baking Bible to help rebuild her confidence. I know from experience how helpful baking can be. I baked fiddly vanilla biscuit thins in the days after my dad died. I don't know what spurred me into the kitchen, but baking tray after tray of biscuits let me focus on the present instead of my mind wandering into all sorts of places I wasn't ready for it to go. The simple act of bringing dough together and stamping out rounds gave me a focus. My biscuits kept burning at the edges, but eventually I got there. I don't recall now whether we even ate them, but I do remember that getting them right in the end made a small part of me feel good. That particularly difficult time has long passed, but, like a lot of people, baking still gets me through the odd days when things don't feel as if they are going my way. "There's no scientific research to explain why or how baking helps to make you feel better, and it's certainly not a cure for depression. But it is therapeutic, and it helps many people," says Thomas (she was also behind the most repulsive cakeshop in the world, a pop-up at the pathology museum at St Bartholomew's hospital in London, selling cakes shaped into infected body parts to raise awareness of cancer and STIs). "Baking is creative, and instantly rewarding. I've realised that cake gets people talking, and the Depressed Cake Shop hopes to get people discussing mental illness and supporting mental health charities." Eventually, Thomas hopes to set up a series of baking therapy sessions and support networks across the UK. The Depressed Cake Shop will be an antidote to vintage-styled bakeries selling fluffy pink cupcakes with sprinkles on top. Instead, the pop-up shops will sell cakes made by amateurs, many with personal experience of depression. There will be gloomy grey lemon-flavoured macaroons, clouds of grey meringue and dark grey cupcakes, whose colours will only be revealed on the inside. For more information, visit the Depressed Cake Shop http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2013/jul/03/can-baking-improve-mental-health