lookin

I clicked the link, then clicked 'Forums'. It said Coming soon!

Who does he think I am, Dr. Kildare?

It pays well too.

The ones I'd be going after are the folks who sold his neighbor that stucco. For eighty grand, you'd think it could take a little yolk.

Perhaps five days on BoyToyCam® is not what Hizzonor had in mind.

I believe this is what they refer to in the business as a 'high concept' film.

Frankly, I'd favor fang-free fellatio.

Ooops! Double post! OK then, make that a Very Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday!! (now pucker up and blow )

Thanks! He first caught my attention during the 87/88 season of Dallas. He would have been about twenty-five.

And not just space fillers either but informative, funny, clever, thoughtful and some, dare I say, titillating ones too. You've made this Board a better place, AdamSmith, and we are all in your debt! (No doubt Wallace Stevens would have a few thoughts on this singular event and perhaps, with a little encouragement, we'll get to hear a few.)

Can't wait for this. Thanks! One of my favorite Frasier episodes features Derek Jacobi as an unrepentant ham who managed to impress the Crane boys when they were in grade school. Here, to their chagrin, and only after they had booked a theater and sold all the tickets for his return to the stage, they learn how easily impressed they had been:

A malingering purler named May Ate a bad Chimichanga Mole. She both shitted and shat As she knitted and knat, And she hopes to be finished some day.

Tomcal, I hope it's one of those illnesses that our rapid medical advances will overtake very soon. Always love your posts and part of the pleasure was never knowing when one was going to pop up. With luck, it won't be long before we see another. Something tells me that, even in retirement, you will probably be getting a lot more action than most of us. Anything you care to share, I'll be here.

Until that happy day arrives, here's a simulated takeoff just ahead of the end of the world in 2012. They call it an Antonov 500. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWTFVUbaXg0 Come on baby, lift your big ass for Sasha!

I think he's more attractive with the shorter rap sheet.

Hot on the trail of his latest Flirt4Free crush, MsGuy asks RA1 to drop him off in Murmansk.

Is this it? In the bar called Gitchee-Goomee Where they serve the giggle water Way up town on Eighty-Second Near the Restaurant Nokomis Up by Feldman's bagel factory There the shoe clerk, Melvin Watha, Guzzles cola laced with bourbon Gets ideas then of much grandeur Thinks he owns a pipestone quarry Says he's Wally Cox the mighty Pounds the bar and gets more sullen Doesn't pay the least attention When the far more cheery drunkards Call out gaily, "Hiya, Watha!" Downs one shot and then another Laps it up till eyes get bleary Falls across the bar unconscious.

I'm sure your heart is in the right place, as it usually is, but I can't get behind the above statement. In my opinion, respect for others is the default position and disrespect should follow only when it is earned. It would sure make the world more pleasant. Ojibear makes some very good points. It's no burden at all for me to call folks what they'd like to be called, and not call them what they don't like to be called. Why wouldn't I respect such a request?

OK, first I'll admit my attempt to get an idea across with what passes in my world for 'humor' fell flat and second I'll apologize for offending Paragon. My mistake was thinking that a cartoon could get across a message that others have tried to impart more directly. I'm probably making a second mistake by trying to say it directly myself, but here goes: Lurkers probably have a hundred different reasons for being lurkers. They may be shy. They may think they have little to add. They may think their posts will be ridiculed. They may think they're light years ahead of any of the discussions that occur here. And/or, they may have spilled something sticky on their keyboard. Who knows why folks lurk and don't post? I sure don't. The only lurking experience I have is my own, having to do with a fear that I had nothing to add to a community that seemed to be getting along just fine without me. I don't recall what moved me from being a years-long lurker to a poster, but something did and I was glad. For quite a long while. But I also recall a poster on the other site who screwed up his courage to post about a physical condition that made him feel insecure around escorts and others, and he was skewered for his efforts. Cruelly. This gave me much needed empathy for lurkers, and a great deal of respect for their right to choose when and how to make themselves known. If they ever do. Like Lucky/Paragon, I'd welcome lurkers feeling free to post on their own terms and would try to give them any support they need in their initial efforts. But, if they're not ready, it just doesn't make sense to me that shining a light on them would make them any readier. It wouldn't have worked on me, that's for sure. It would only have driven me further underground and made it less likely that I ever would have posted. In my opinion, it's counterproductive to focus more attention on someone who's made it clear s/he's comfortable with less attention. I don't understand why this is such a difficult concept to grasp. But, like clockwork, there comes a post that shines a beam on lurkers and, as far as I know, it's never been effective and it usually ends up with somebody getting their nose out of joint. I'll go another step. If there are lurkers out there who feel like stopping by to read something I've posted, I'm honored. If it somehow encourages them to jump in, so much the better. But if they feel happier sitting quietly in the Orchestra seats and waiting for me to take the inevitable pratfall, that's fine too. They don't owe me a thing, unless it's to make sure they're using only ripe tomatoes. As far as telling other posters what they should be posting, I can't say it any better than AdamSmith has. Lead by example. Most of us know when our posts or threads fall flat and it's a buzzkill to have somebody regularly swooping down from the pulpit to tell us we should be doing better. In one of the Board's perennial poop threads, I made a single post - one, that is - and I don't think it was even on-topic, but that didn't slow down a series of excoriations that I, among others, was making the place unfit for any potential new posters to join in. Well, how would anybody presume to know what would attract a lurker to join in? And, if somebody does know what would attract lurkers, why in the world isn't he posting it? Isn't that a more direct way to tackle the problem? And if the excoriator doesn't know what will bring in the customers, then why badger other posters? Particularly when it's likely to turn current posters into the very lurkers that are allegedly the problem. It just doesn't make any sense. Not to me anyway. If somebody has some particular topic they'd like me to conjure up a post on they can let me know what it is and how long they'd like it to be and I'll quote them a price. Cash up front. However, as long as I'm posting for free, it'll be what I like. Within, of course, the TOS and hopefully within the spirit of the thread. Is there anything unclear or unfair about that? (OK, this direct stuff stuff is starting to tucker me out, but here's one more on the subject of thin skin.) I do not pretend to have thick skin and, if my dermatologist offered to install it for me in a single painless office visit, I wouldn't take him up on it. I've been sensitive to the mood and tone of other folks since I was in the cradle. That sensitivity has served me well over the years, and I wouldn't give it up even for a weekend with Ralph Woods. Especially for a weekend with Ralph Woods. Naturally, there have been times when I've had to armor up and take a few hits from aggressive strangers or sociopathic coworkers, but never by choice and usually only when I'm getting paid good money to put up with it. I do not intend to spend my free hours on a message board pretending to enjoy somebody asking me who the fuck I think I am. I'm not masochistic and it would be crazy to spend my spare time acting like I am for the 'pleasure' of some stranger who gets a kick out of being belligerent. Again, I don't see what's so hard to understand about that concept. Perhaps it's the illogic of some of this behavior that leads me to believe that the folks who engage in it know full well what they're doing and I can either be irritated by it or I can laugh at it. This post is one of the few times when I'm going to do neither and assume the person who's aggravating me really has no idea that he's doing it, and I'm going to try this once to explain it in plain English and as directly and humorlessly as I know how. I hope it works because Lucky/Paragon is a person who has meant something to me individually and to this Board in general. I hope the message gets through clearly and makes some sense as, hopefully, it's the last time I'll ever need to. And, of course, apologies for interrupting the feasts of reason and flows of soul among the esteemed denizens of this thread. I know that AdamSmith, MsGuy, RA1, and other worthies will have us back on (or off) course in a trice. A trice-and-a-half at the outside.

Thanks ever so for the kind words! Turns out I've been just as fine as frog fur. Easter weekend, I got a nasty PM from a poster who took exception to my penultimate post and thought I was mocking him. It began with an inquiry as to . . . just who the fuck do you think you are? and it went downhill from there. It was all the encouragement I needed to turn my attention away from the Boards for a spell and towards my own back yard, where I discovered that some very invasive ivy was threatening to overwhelm the last of a native species that I've always liked a lot. I've since been using the freed up time to tackle the interloper, one green can at a time, and am happy to report that the natives are beginning to return in full force, in spite of a doozy of a drought. Every time I sink down on my hands and knees to deal with an encroaching root system, I think of you fine folks and hope all is oojah cum spiff. Glad to see so many of my favorite posters delivering some new favorite posts. Again, thanks for the shout out, and I look forward to returning just as soon as I've figured out how to become a bit less offensive. Perhaps I could hustle me up a good PR firm.

Recalling my lurker days, it took a while for me to screw up the courage to jump in. I never understood how shining a light on them (or me) would hasten the process. And, while I'd welcome any new folks who would like to join in, I'm also happy with those who are here. And what if an unlikeable lurker decides to come out of the shadows? I guess as long as they just PM Paragon, it will be OK.

Especially as they're licking his back side.

You lurkers need to start posting! I wanna hear from you!! PM me!!! Who croaked and left him boss? . . . Please, don't ruffle his feathers.