Things have changed so much in the USA since I lived there. I was recently able to attend a wedding for a relative who is marrying her gay partner. Growing up gay, I NEVER thought I'd see the day. And, I know we have a long way to go. But, damn, we have come a long way too. I often don't see the positive side of things, but seeing a room full of friends and family and all watching as a preacher read over the rituals, it really just took my breath away.

I then thought back to my first BF in NYC and how bad he wanted to marry and his family forced him back to Israel to marry a woman. I often wonder what would have happened if the world was different back then and now my life direction would have altered. 

Anyway, it was just such a beautiful sight and so wonderful and truly life changing for me.

Yes, we've come a long way. We've struggled for, endured so much.  HIV / AIDs, the loss of so many of us and of a particular generation.  That said, marriage equality at the federal level is uncertain.  For the current composition of the U.S. Supreme Court - precedent is not always honored.  Our rights may be at risk, particularly so if Donald J. Trump is elected President of the United States.

3 hours ago, Mavica said:

Our rights may be at risk, particularly so if Donald J. Trump is elected President of the United States.

Any Republican really ....

7 hours ago, TotallyOz said:

I often wonder what would have happened if the world was different back then and now my life direction would have altered. 

Just imagine all the divorces you avoided....

3 hours ago, floridarob said:

Just imagine all the divorces you avoided....

My dear Rob, I have only had about 30 love of my life BFs (not this year but in many years). Of those, I would have only married 20 or so, so defiantly not too many divorces.

When we decided to marry (almost) twenty years ago, it really felt like pioneering. We didn't know any other married gay couples in real life. Especially the first years, when people saw my wedding ring, they thought I was married to a woman. This isn't a rant at all, it's just how it probably was for the first married gay couples.

17 hours ago, TotallyOz said:

Things have changed so much in the USA since I lived there. I was recently able to attend a wedding for a relative who is marrying her gay partner. Growing up gay, I NEVER thought I'd see the day. And, I know we have a long way to go. But, damn, we have come a long way too. I often don't see the positive side of things, but seeing a room full of friends and family and all watching as a preacher read over the rituals, it really just took my breath away.

I then thought back to my first BF in NYC and how bad he wanted to marry and his family forced him back to Israel to marry a woman. I often wonder what would have happened if the world was different back then and now my life direction would have altered. 

Anyway, it was just such a beautiful sight and so wonderful and truly life changing for me.

Is same sex marriage really that much of success? How many gay couples have remained married more than 5 years?

I am thankful that the option to get legally married exists but is it being utilized fully? Do gay men really want to enter into committed relationships?

 

1 hour ago, Phoenixblue said:

"Do gay men really want to enter into committed relationships?"

 

Many do and / or have been in committed relationships for decades, pre-Obergefell (in the USA).

1 hour ago, Phoenixblue said:

Do gay men really want to enter into committed relationships?

Would love to but the men I like are already married.....to women.🙂

5 hours ago, reader said:

Would love to but the men I like are already married.....to women.🙂

Marry me I'm single! 😇

5 hours ago, Mavica said:

Many do and / or have been in committed relationships for decades, pre-Obergefell (in the USA).

Many do, no doubt, but they are still relatively in the minority among gay men..maybe I'm wrong and I hope that I am but that's what I think so far.

6 minutes ago, Phoenixblue said:

Marry me I'm single! 😇

Do you believe in long engagements?

4 minutes ago, reader said:

Do you believe in long engagements?

These 2 words carry many interpretations, perhaps you can be a tad more specific?

5 minutes ago, Phoenixblue said:

Many do, no doubt, but they are still relatively in the minority among gay men..maybe I'm wrong and I hope that I am but that's what I think so far.

I'm thinking maybe you're not gay, or that you're recently out or young and without much interaction with or familiarity with many gay men.  👁

Honestly, given the chance, I would love to explore the option of being married.

However, gay marriage, is a luxury that I am rarely afforded.

2 minutes ago, Mavica said:

I'm thinking maybe you're not gay, or that you're recently out or young and without much interaction with or familiarity with many gay men.  👁

Gay and mature but you could be right that my interactions with gay men, other than online, are rather limited.

4 minutes ago, Mavica said:

I'm thinking maybe you're not gay

Why would I be here on this forum if I'm not gay!! Not for entertainment purposes for sure 🤣

12 minutes ago, Phoenixblue said:

These 2 words carry many interpretations, perhaps you can be a tad more specific?

There’s so much to be considered.

Could we agree to an open marriage (we both get to screw around with other guys).

Would our parents approve.

Who’ll wash the dishes.

Are you rich. 🙂

 

5 minutes ago, reader said:

There’s so much to be considered.

Could we agree to an open marriage (we both get to screw around with other guys).

Would our parents approve.

Who’ll wash the dishes.

Are you rich. 🙂

 

Yes indeed, that's true but that's natural when two people court each other!

Committed monogamous marriage if only for the sake of emotional stability. 👬

Are your parents still alive?

Leave the dishes and cooking to me.

I am financially stable.🙂

I’ll have my lawyer call your lawyer to work out pre-nup.

 

15 minutes ago, reader said:

I’ll have my lawyer call your lawyer to work out pre-nup.

 

Love and lawyers don't mix very well and pre-nups are so unromantic. Why spoil the fun and sense of adventure?

10 hours ago, Phoenixblue said:

Love and lawyers don't mix very well and pre-nups are so unromantic. Why spoil the fun and sense of adventure?

Woi said anything about fun?

23 hours ago, Phoenixblue said:

Is same sex marriage really that much of success? How many gay couples have remained married more than 5 years?

I am thankful that the option to get legally married exists but is it being utilized fully? Do gay men really want to enter into committed relationships?

 

 

Yes, in my opinion same sex marriage is a succes:

https://www-cbs-nl.translate.goog/nl-nl/nieuws/2021/13/20-jaar-na-invoering-homohuwelijk-20-duizend-homo-echtparen-in-nederland?_x_tr_sl=auto&_x_tr_tl=en&_x_tr_hl=nl&_x_tr_pto=wapp

Most gay couples remained married the last twenty years, divorce rates are lower compared to straight marriages, I think because because more people are "forced" into straight marriage.

In the Low Lands, over forty thousand gay men entered into committed relationships.