The State of the Union Drinking Game

[ihpguy]

"He shall from time to time give to the Congress information of the state of the union and recommend to their consideration such measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient."-- U.S. Constitution, Article II, Section III

"Mr. Speaker, the President of the United States..."

The general rules of this game are no different from any other drinking game. A drink is either a shot or a good gulp from a beer (or cider). Different events call for different numbers of drinks and all you do is watch the speech and play along. If all goes well, you'll be unconscious by the time they show the other party's response.

GAME TIME

This year, President Obama's State of the Union address is scheduled for Tuesday, January 25, 2011 at 9pm (Eastern). It should be broadcast on all major networks and cable news/political netorks. For online coverage, go to http://www.c-span.org/executive/stateoftheunion.asp.

EVENT # of Drinks

Every time he says....

General Blather 1

"The state of our union is strong" (or some version of this) 1

hope 1 wishful shot

change 1

"hopeful audacity of yes we can change" sip of unicorn wine

progress 1

"let me be clear" 1

"make no mistake" 1

rhetoric or civility smile falsely while taking a shot

Foreign Policy

troops small 1

Iraq 1

Afghanistan 1

Iran 1

Pakistan 1

China shot of something red

renmimbi grab a yuan coin for a game of Chinese quarters

Domestic Policy

special interests 1

education 1

reform 1

debt borrow a shot from a friend, promise you'll really pay it back this time

deficit finish your drink; borrow the drink of the person next to you and drink it too

austerity 1/8 of a shot

stimulus 1 espresso or coffee liqueur shot

investment in reference to government spending 1

investment in reference to individual discretionary financial decisions hide your shot under bed;drink it the next time the Dow drops 100 points

unemployment 1

jobs if you've been unemployed in the last year 1+1

if you're unemployed today (we've been there) 1+2

Wall Street 1 hoity toity shot

Main Street PBR gulp

budget freeze mix a frozen drink, pour the frozen drink into a cup half the size of the drink and lick the remnants off the floor (It's a budget metaphor. Get it? Har!)

filibuster drink until 60% of the people with whom you're watching agree to stop... or go unconscious

"Don't mess with Texas!" (Sure it's a non-sequitur, but why break tradition?)Exchange confused glances, drink freely

Every time he....

references streamlining or reducing unnecessary regulation

streamline the contents of your glass into your mouth

uses an anecdote to defend a policy

1 for health care reform

2 for anything else

refers to the unusual seating arrangement change seats with someone

sets a long-term objective or vision to be met after his current term is up shot of what you'd like to be drinking in 2021 and beyond

Every time the camera shows....

The First Lady 1

The First Lady's arms 1 delivered by bicep curl

Joe Biden, and he looks like he wants to interrupt the speech 1

your congressman/woman 1

and pat yourself on the back for being able to identify your congressman/woman

a close-up on Speaker John Boehner 1

+1 if he's crying

best if drinking the most bronzed or orange beverage available

a "special guest" who is introduced by the President 1

a "special guest" who is a member of the armed forces 1

a standing ovation from HALF of Congress 1

Keep in mind the new civility-inspired mixed seating arrangement

Other

if the speech is under an hour Finish your drink and have another beer

REPUBLICAN RESPONSE BONUS GAME

socialism/ist; communism/ist 1 shot of something red, drunk with your left hand

reference to people rejecting Obama's policies at the ballot box 1

wasteful spending 1

Tea Party one shot, drunk from a tea cup (or tea pot if you really want to get into it)

Reactions from those who've played in the past:

"Oh, God. I wouldn't remember a lot of last night had I not been online, too. And had "friends" print out a transcript. I couldn't feel my face...that was the most hilarious thing I've ever seen."

"[This game] is a danger... holy s**t. 5 beers in a half hour and I'm *behind*. BEHIND....Damn you!...*shakes fist*"

"25 minute into speech and slipping beneath tabl3, thanks for great game. Sent out ot F&F cros country and feed(drink?)back very [positive. Sorry about what spel chk did not catch, you inderstand tho'."

Please note that we do not now, nor have we ever, encouraged irresponsible use of alcohol. It is important to know your own limits and to act accordingly. We discourage improper use of alcohol.