Jump to content
Guest Larstrup

The Organ

By Guest Larstrup, in The Beer Bar

Recommended Posts

AdamSmith Grand Master

AdamSmith

Posted
Posted

I didn't know that...

Benedict IX: The First (Primarily) Gay Pope (r. 1033-1045; 1047-1048)

That Benedict IX had sexual relationships with men seems to be beyond reasonable doubt. In his diatribe against "sodomy" among the Catholic clergy (Liber Gomorrhianus), St. Peter Damian described him as "feasting on immorality" and "a demon from hell in the disguise of a priest". The modern researcher Lynne Yamaguchi Fletcher, in "The First Gay Pope and Other Records", rightly called Benedict IX (r. 1033-1045; 1047-1048) “the first pope known to be primarily homosexual.” Benedict’s pontificate, which was known for  homosexual orgies in the Lateran Palace, “turned the Vatican into a male brothel” and was so scandalous that he was deposed, not once but twice.
 
a4.jpg
 
 

Benedict IX (1021--ca. 1052) was the son of the count of Tusculum. He imitated John XII in staging licentious orgies. These and other excesses caused such indignation that Benedict was deposed in 1045, but then reinstated, only to be deposed again. He disappeared into such deep obscurity that his actual date of death is unknown.

Matt & Andrej in their Biographies of LGBT people, quote this description (original source not stated): 

At the death of John XIX, his brother Alberic decided to keep the papacy in the family by having his young son Theophylactus elected (October, 1032). Theophylactus, a young man probably about twenty years old, was a cleric. That was about his only qualification for the papacy. Unqualified by his youth, his bringing up, his depravity, Benedict IX became one of the very few really disreputable popes. He was known for homosexual orgies, at the Lateran Palace. The story of Benedict's pontificate is as unsatisfactory as his life. The Romans rose against him probably about 1036 and drove him from the city. Benedict proceeded to Cremona, where he met Emperor Conrad II and received a promise of protection. By imperial influence Benedict returned to Rome, only to be driven out again in 1044.
 
This time there was a fight, and Benedict's supporters grimly clung to a foothold in the Trastevere district. Inside the city, John, bishop of Sabina, was set up as Pope Sylvester III, but Benedict was not idle. He had fled for help to his family's base at Tusculum and within two months his tough Tusculans fought their way into the city, sent Sylvester III back to his diocese of Sabina, and restored Benedict IX.
 
Once restored, Benedict did not feel at ease on the papal throne. For some reason, in 1045 he decided to abdicate. As Desiderius, the abbot of Monte Cassino (later Pope Victor III), put it, "Devoted to pleasure, he preferred to live like Epicurus rather than like a pope." Consequently, he handed over the papacy to the worthy archpriest, John Gratian. Benedict did not go empty-handed. Gratian paid a large sum to get rid of this offensive character. The charms of retirement soon wore thin for Benedict, and a short time after his abdication he was once more claiming to be pope. With Sylvester III and Benedict IX fighting Gregory for the control of Rome, things were in a frightful muddle. This was ended by Henry III, who had succeeded his father Conrad II in 1039. Henry came down into Italy, cooperated with Gregory to get rid of the pretensions of Sylvester and Benedict, and then had a council demand and receive Gregory's abdication. Henry then put in a German pope--Clement II. Benedict made one more comeback. After the death of Clement II, he once again entered Rome and held sway at the Lateran, but only from November 8, 1047 to July 17, 1048. Henry III insisted on his removal and brusquely ordered Boniface, marquis of Tuscany, to expel Benedict.
 
What happened to Benedict after this is obscure. According to one report, which it may be hoped is true, Benedict retired to the abbey of Grottaferrata, resigned all claim to the papacy, and spent his last years as a penitent. Scandalous as Benedict had been, he carried on the routine business of the papacy. And like the few other bad men who were popes, Benedict taught nothing but the pure doctrine of Christ, though by so doing he condemned and did not excuse his own disordered life.
 
Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Members
MsAnn Veteran

MsAnn

Posted
  • Members
Posted

https://apnews.com/f3b0009dde3b4f0989844edbc1c4a57b?utm_campaign=SocialFlow&utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=AP_Oddities

My apologies for putting this on the same page as the Queen...:P

Texas woman defecates in pants to hide drugs during arrest :o

CORSICANA, Texas (AP) — Police say a Texas woman attempted to hide evidence during an arrest by defecating in her pants and using the feces to conceal drugs.

Officers in Corsicana, about 55 miles (88 kilometers ) south of Dallas, were investigating a report of a theft at a grocery store on Wednesday when they attempted to subdue a female suspect and take her into custody. Police say they placed Shannen Martin in the back of a police cruiser where they say she intentionally defecated in her pants then hid a crack pipe, 2.3 grams of crack cocaine and a Valentine’s Day card in her excrement.

Officers had to sift through the woman’s feces to retrieve the evidence after Martin was booked on charges of tampering with evidence and possession of a controlled substance.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
AdamSmith Grand Master

AdamSmith

Posted
Posted
17 minutes ago, MsAnn said:

https://apnews.com/f3b0009dde3b4f0989844edbc1c4a57b?utm_campaign=SocialFlow&utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=AP_Oddities

My apologies for putting this on the same page as the Queen...:P

Texas woman defecates in pants to hide drugs during arrest :o

CORSICANA, Texas (AP) — Police say a Texas woman attempted to hide evidence during an arrest by defecating in her pants and using the feces to conceal drugs.

Officers in Corsicana, about 55 miles (88 kilometers ) south of Dallas, were investigating a report of a theft at a grocery store on Wednesday when they attempted to subdue a female suspect and take her into custody. Police say they placed Shannen Martin in the back of a police cruiser where they say she intentionally defecated in her pants then hid a crack pipe, 2.3 grams of crack cocaine and a Valentine’s Day card in her excrement.

Officers had to sift through the woman’s feces to retrieve the evidence after Martin was booked on charges of tampering with evidence and possession of a controlled substance.

Sort of the inverse of stuffing cocaine ampules up the ass to transport them across borders. :rolleyes:

Wherein of course one ruptures and poisons the carrier to death. :o

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Members
MsAnn Veteran

MsAnn

Posted
  • Members
Posted

https://www.squattypotty.com/ :P

image.png.046ad9d78f2dcc169d8e4183b97cfe1e.png

image.png.26469820229419724ad9fe3eb8d4fcf6.png

how does it work?

relearn the first thing you learned

Your body relies on a bend in the colon (where your poop lives) and the anus (where your poop says hi) to keep everything stored until showtime.

Your Puborectalis Muscle helps keep your poop in place by kinking your colon (like a garden hose) while you’re standing or sitting. This is helpful when you are sitting and don’t want to poop but unhelpful when you do want to poop. If only there was a way to tell your body to unkink that hose…

Your colon’s sweet spot comes with the squat. This is the only position in which the Puborectalis Muscle fully relaxes which straightens the kink and allows for complete elimination without straining. Bombs away!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
AdamSmith Grand Master

AdamSmith

Posted
Posted
  • Far, far away on the horizon was something that was not of Earth—a line of misty columns, tapering slightly as they soared out of the sea and lost themselves among the clouds. They were spaced with perfect precision along the rim of the planet—too huge to be artificial, yet too regular to be natural.
    ("Sideneus 4 and the Pillars of the Dawn," said Rashaverak, and there was awe in his voice. "He has reached the center of the Universe."
    "And he has barely begun his journey," answered Karellen.)
Link to comment
Share on other sites
AdamSmith Grand Master

AdamSmith

Posted
Posted

Groves was a lot like my first (& only) boss, whom I came to love (we worked together 21 years) and who taught me how to Get Serious and Get Things Done...

"First, General Groves is the biggest S.O.B. I have ever worked for. He is most demanding. He is most critical. He is always a driver, never a praiser. He is abrasive and sarcastic. He disregards all normal organizational channels. He is extremely intelligent. He has the guts to make difficult, timely decisions. He is the most egotistical man I know. He knows he is right and so sticks by his decision. He abounds with energy and expects everyone to work as hard or even harder than he does. Although he gave me great responsibility and adequate authority to carry out his mission-type orders, he constantly meddled with my subordinates. However, to compensate for that he had a small staff, which meant that we were not subject to the usual staff-type heckling. He ruthlessly protected the overall project from other government agency interference, which made my task easier. He seldom accepted other agency cooperation and then only on his own terms. During the war and since I have had the opportunity to meet many of our most outstanding leaders in the Army, Navy and Air Force as well as many of our outstanding scientific, engineering and industrial leaders. And in summary, if I had to do my part of the atomic bomb project over again and had the privilege of picking my boss I would pick General Groves."

Kenneth D. Nichols[17]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leslie_Groves

Leslie_Groves.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites
AdamSmith Grand Master

AdamSmith

Posted
Posted
On 2/19/2018 at 8:09 PM, AdamSmith said:
(Bonus!) Washington D.C.: Visit the Lincoln Memorial…at night.

I was skeptical about doing so, but it is my most memorable D.C. experience ever: looking out from the top of those steps over the Reflecting Pool, which mirrors the illuminated Washington Monument on the far end of the pool…the view is breathtaking, the best in all of Washington. It's easy to find parking a few blocks away, and it's totally safe: Other people are around, and yet it's not a crazy mob scene. The hush of the visitors made the whole experience feel sacred. —M.B.

Another PS...

Most memorable, moving DC moment ever was one time visiting the Vietnam Memorial at night.

vietnam-veterans-memorial-large-795x596.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
AdamSmith Grand Master

AdamSmith

Posted
Posted
On 2/25/2018 at 11:27 PM, AdamSmith said:
  • Far, far away on the horizon was something that was not of Earth—a line of misty columns, tapering slightly as they soared out of the sea and lost themselves among the clouds. They were spaced with perfect precision along the rim of the planet—too huge to be artificial, yet too regular to be natural.
    ("Sideneus 4 and the Pillars of the Dawn," said Rashaverak, and there was awe in his voice. "He has reached the center of the Universe."
    "And he has barely begun his journey," answered Karellen.)
'Science can destroy religion by ignoring it as well as by disproving its tenets. No one ever demonstrated, so far as I am aware, the nonexistence of Zeus or Thor, but they have few followers now.'
Link to comment
Share on other sites
AdamSmith Grand Master

AdamSmith

Posted
Posted
They would never know how lucky they had been. For a lifetime, mankind had achieved as much happiness as any race can ever know. It had been the Golden Age. But gold was also the color of sunset, of autumn: and only Karellen’s ears could catch the first wailings of the winter storms.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
Go to topic listing

Announcements

×
×
  • Create New...