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Olddaddy

Why not retire to Thailand?

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7 hours ago, scott456 said:

Perhaps the twin brother is gay too.  I heard the possibility is very high for twins.

I also know twins, both gays. Interestingly perhaps for  a while neither one realized that other was gay too, at least that's what they told me.

Fairly early though they decided to come out to their parents  and did it at the same time only to learn from them  " we know" 

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4 hours ago, Londoner said:

on my first visit to Pattaya where I met other men for whom gay sex had come late to their lives. Very late in the case of one guy, who was in his late seventies when his wife died. He came straight to Pattaya where I'd see him frequently walking through Boyztown, hand -in hand with a young Thai.

I found it touching.

he did his duty and decided to have some  well deserved fun. I doubt his late wife minds

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14 hours ago, Londoner said:

My generation is full of closet-dwellers.

How true! And how many of this generation married primarily to escape from the possibiliity that their gayness would be discovered? After all, it was only in 1967 that being gay - being queer, a fag, "one of them" and all the other epithets used at the time - was decriminalised in England and Wales, and in 1980 in Scotland.

I have four good friends of approximately my age who married and each had children. Three knew they were gay; the other that he was bisexual with a greater fondness for guys. The last opened up to his future wife before their marriage. She understood and realised that she would have to share him occasionally. Even so, their marriage was a happy one and they had 5 children.

The other three all divorced - eventually - and set up home with a gay man. Only one divorce was reasonably amicable. This friend was from continental Europe and had moved his family to New York for work. One evening he was on the small balcony of their apartment tormented by the dilemma of constantly lying to his wife and as constantly cheating on her. He even thought of jumping. Then reason took over. The next evening he opened up to his wife. He was then staggered when she said to him in a sympathetic way: "I know!" Theirs was the amicable divorce. He soon moved to Thailand and found a Thai boyfriend. I was once at dinner in their apartment when his two children were staying.  

Another had a very messy divorce. He had met and fallen in love with a Thai who lived in London. They also now live in Thailand, but his earlier family refuse to speak to him.

15 hours ago, Londoner said:

After all, I was forty-five before I had  gay sex.

I continue to look up to the sky and say thanks for university. In that freer evironment with its less hide-bound tradtions, I met a fellow student and instantly had the most enormous crush. I was never sure if he knew I was pursuing him but we quite quickly became very good friends even though I hadn't the slightest idea that he might also be gay.  Although it took almost a year, we did finally kiss and end up in bed. I realised then I could stay in the closet and enjoy relationships if I was careful about it. And that's how I lived before finally coming out.

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I wonder how many you came out to your parents? Or brothers & sisters?

Did any of you,? Was you then shunned back in those times?

My late father was a wharf worker,I doubt I would be alive if I had told him.

Unfortunately my brothers & sisters found out I was gay in January 2015 when I took my ex BF to my mum's funeral,they have never been in contact since .

I always remember when I was young my older brother coming home after a weekend (1970's) saying he had gone "poofter bashing" with his mates , terrible times for acceptance back then,even police participated in this in those days.

At least most of the Asian countries are more accepting if our lifestyle,if not the younger generation are.

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9 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

Unfortunately my brothers & sisters found out I was gay in January 2015 when I took my ex BF to my mum's funeral,they have never been in contact since .

 

if it's any consolation , based on my work experience  you will be transformed from forgotten to dear brother in matter of minutes , as soon as you close your eyes for eternity

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7 hours ago, vinapu said:

if it's any consolation , based on my work experience  you will be transformed from forgotten to dear brother in matter of minutes , as soon as you close your eyes for eternity

How true 🤣

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37 minutes ago, Ruthrieston said:

I grew up in a small city in Scotland, and my brother, who was five years older than me, was also gay, but rather than helping or supporting me through the bad times he made it worse for me. He got married and had two children, while still being even more camp than me. When I came out to my parents in my mid twenties as I was leaving Scotland for the joys of London, my mother's only response was to ask "What about your brother?", to which my only response was "ask him dear". I last saw my brother at our mother's funeral more than twenty years ago. I still hate him for all he did to me. In my teenage years I tried to kill myself three times, once with a paracetamol overdose that nearly worked. I am now in my mid sixties and have lived in Pattaya for eleven years and having a happy retirement after being kicked out of my job for being gay at the age of 52. Sorry for being so boring, I will shut up now.

story not boring at all, actually quite moving

I understand your tribulations ended well after all.

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50 minutes ago, Ruthrieston said:

I grew up in a small city in Scotland, and my brother, who was five years older than me, was also gay, but rather than helping or supporting me through the bad times he made it worse for me. He got married and had two children, while still being even more camp than me. When I came out to my parents in my mid twenties as I was leaving Scotland for the joys of London, my mother's only response was to ask "What about your brother?", to which my only response was "ask him dear". I last saw my brother at our mother's funeral more than twenty years ago. I still hate him for all he did to me. In my teenage years I tried to kill myself three times, once with a paracetamol overdose that nearly worked. I am now in my mid sixties and have lived in Pattaya for eleven years and having a happy retirement after being kicked out of my job for being gay at the age of 52. Sorry for being so boring, I will shut up now.

Yes not boring: try to stay hoppy😃

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56 minutes ago, Ruthrieston said:

I grew up in a small city in Scotland, and my brother, who was five years older than me, was also gay, but rather than helping or supporting me through the bad times he made it worse for me. He got married and had two children, while still being even more camp than me. When I came out to my parents in my mid twenties as I was leaving Scotland for the joys of London, my mother's only response was to ask "What about your brother?", to which my only response was "ask him dear". I last saw my brother at our mother's funeral more than twenty years ago. I still hate him for all he did to me. In my teenage years I tried to kill myself three times, once with a paracetamol overdose that nearly worked. I am now in my mid sixties and have lived in Pattaya for eleven years and having a happy retirement after being kicked out of my job for being gay at the age of 52. Sorry for being so boring, I will shut up now.

Absolutely not boring at all 💛💙💚Respect & love to you 

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On 8/10/2022 at 3:45 PM, scott456 said:

Perhaps the twin brother is gay too.  I heard the possibility is very high for twins.

I am a twin and gay, but my twin is straight; and a twin friend is gay but his twin in straight. Likely because we are not identical twins which means we do not share the same DNA unlike identical twins.

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11 minutes ago, kokopelli 2 said:

I am a twin and gay, but my twin is straight; and a twin friend is gay but his twin in straight. Likely because we are not identical twins which means we do not share the same DNA unlike identical twins.

I am not sure that identical twins share the same DNA necessarily become both gay .

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42 minutes ago, scott456 said:

I am not sure which piece of DNA makes me gay.😁

Scott , sometime ago you wrote you didn't enjoy Pattaya enough to live there and I believe you stayed one year.

May I ask you,only  if you wish to share that is and are comfortable with sharing  ,what your experience was in that one year.

 

 

 

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