Beaches and breezes and boys – oh my!
All gays love going down – but usually, when I go down south, I have a hard time finding fabulous boys to bed. Not in Miami, an oasis of fuckable boys below the Mason Dixon Line!
Whether you cruise South Beach, head out on the water, check out some fine Cuban ass, or simply delight at the deliciously divine restaurants, Miami has everything a cute queer could want!
And the weather is nice too!
It wasn’t always this way. For years, this city – just 20 miles from Fort Lauderdale – was as conservative as the rest of southern states. But in the early 1980s that started to change!
Today, Miami is just as gay as San Francisco and New York – but you never have to deal with winter.
Instead, you simply get to scope out hunky homos, cruise the circuit, and find all the fabulous boytoys you can. You won’t even need to turn on your gaydar!
So, if you are trying to decide where to go on your next glorious gay vacation, sit back my little studs, divas, drag queens and gay bears, and let us take you on a journey to the fabulousness that is marvelous Miami!
When it cums to Miami, South Beach – known to the locals as “SoBe” – is the main gay neighborhood and where you want to go when you crave cock with a side of man meat.
This is where the richest and most fabulous guys in America go to party, cruise, cuddle, and get their gay on.
You’ll be shoulder to shoulder with millionaire gay boys, their luscious houseboys, rent boys galore, and sexy surfer studs on the beach.
Many of the men here literally look like underwear models – and we’ve had to go up to a few and ask if that’s a pipe in their pocket or if they are just glad to see us!
South Beach has regular all-gay cruises that often turn into homoerotic orgies that would make if the kinkiest Castro boy blush a sexy shade of crimson.
Nearly every bar and club in South Beach is gay or gay friendly – and you’ll be astounded at how hot the boys can be in their designer suits and tanned bodies.
South Beach also has the trendiest restaurants, queerest cafes, and the most exclusive and expensive clothing stores in Miami –you could easily lose yourself here for days or weeks on end!
You’ll also want to head up to Ocean Drive, where you can see the home of Gianni Versace – it’s where he lived and dreamed up his fabulous designs!
Just remember to bring lots of lube – and maybe a set of kneepads, because everything is South Beach is absolutely cockalicious!
The Gay Beach At 12th Street
Miami is all about looking at beautiful beach boys lounging in the sand and bobbing in the waves.
It also has the most queertastic beach in the continental United States – The Gay Beach At 12th Street.
The beach is easy to find – as there is a giant rainbow flag at the entrance – and it is almost completely free of fat breeders, retirees, and other riff-raff.
It’s a mouth-watering destination for muscle boys and gay surfers during the day, and you’ll tremble at the amount of quivering cock in Speedos and Prada swim trunks.
At night, The Gay Beach At 12th Street is the best cruising spot in the entire city – and you’ll be able to find Mr. Right The Fuck Now to play within the sand dunes within minutes of your arrival!
The most fabulous and fantastic gay party in Miami is The Winter Party – where for more than 15 years studs, drag queens, dykes, divas, twinks, bears, and the boys who love them have descended on Miami to get their gay on during the last week in February.
The Winter Party has everything a cockaholic could want, from dance parties to cocktail receptions to fashion shows, picnics and more!
I’m feeling a little faint – and very homoerotcially horny – just remembering my last Winter Party!
Much more than simply a day at the beach, The Winter Party is the circuit event you need to attend – along with more than 10,000 fellow fags!
It’s hot enough to heat up even the coldest winter night – and the perfect place to slut your stuff in Florida!
The Miami Gay Men’s Chorus may be the most divine musical event in America – and certainly one of the classiest moments you’ll have on your Miami gay vacation!
They hold three concerts per year – that raise thousands and thousands of dollars for gay-friendly causes.
In fact, the Gay Men’s Chorus concerts have become so popular the cool queers and fabulous fags often book their Miami vacations around the events – which often sell out weeks in advance!
So experience some culture along with your cock and hear the boys belt out their best!
The Miami Gay And Lesbian Film Festival
Films can be totally fabulous and we all know that cinema is often cockalicious. For the past 10 years, Miami has been proving these points by holding their annual Gay and Lesbian Film Festival every spring.
The goal is to bring gays and lesbians from outside the Miami area – who may be starved for gay culture in Florida – into the city so they can cock cruise, soak up the sex, and see sin on the silver screen!
Hundreds, if not thousands of dykes, divas, drag queens, and boys come down and go down every year for this cocktastic cinema event!
While not technically part of Miami, Miami Beach is another hot gay neighborhood filled with bars and clubs filled with sexy salsa until the break of dawn!
This is also where you want to go if you like brown boys – as most of the population comes from Latin America, Cuba and Haiti.
Miami Beach itself is actually an island, but it is easy to get to from Miami, and you’ll love the delicious dining and queer cafes that dot the salacious island from one end to the other.
It’s a gay old time!
At the southern end of Miami Beach, you’ll find the Art Deco National Historic District – a deliciously divine architectural area that has been named an official historic landmark.
The district is composed of a series of sensational hotels and sinfully decadent homes built in the 1930s to a level of tackiness and camp that a fabulous fag could only dream of today.
It’s like the Queer Eye guys preserved an entire part of the city!
Back in the day, this part of Miami Beach was home to gangsters like Al Capone. Today, it has been completely restored to its original fabulous self and painted in a plethora of pleasant pastels.
It’s gayer than 10 guys fucking 12 guys!
While not strictly gay, the South Beach Wine And Food Festival is an annual gorgeous gastronomical event held right in the middle of your gay neighborhood!
You’ll nosh on fabulous feasts and sip sinfully sensational wine while scoping out the eye candy frolicking on the beach.
The South Beach Wine And Food Festival does bring out more than its fair share of straight people – who can’t dress – but seem to know how to put tasty treats in their mouths!
The festival is held every February, and tickets for some of the gayest and most gourmet events sell out months in advance – so book your tickets today if you want to get the perfect taste between your lips.
I know that I like it a little salty, but just a bit sour!
Miami proves that for fabulous fags, divine divas, delicious drag queens, and cock hungry queers, that life really can be a day at the beach!
You’ll love the bronze boys and go mad for the fantastical cock crazy club scene that is South Beach, while you cream for the fabulous food!
So why not head down to Miami and find out where the boys are?
You just might run into me – if I don’t meet a cute Latin boy first!