Gaybutton

Here's my opinion: You know how much attention I would pay to this? None. Zero. Nada. And the last thing you should do is be reluctant to go right back to that bar. I would sit down as usual where you normally sit. If he approaches and wants to talk, that's fine. I would greet him with a smile and a nice hello. I would talk as if this non-incident never happened. If it is brought up, let him be the one who brings it up. Tell him you never meant any offense and he misunderstood what you meant - and then take it from there. For sure you don't need to walk on eggs to talk to him. I doubt he was actually offended at all. I've seen this same kind of manipulation tactic used by boys many times over the years. I've had some of them try it on me too. It's all a part of trying to get what's in your wallet moved into his. And on you it seems to be working. He's got you feeling guilty and wondering what you did wrong or what you could have said differently. In other words, now he's got the control. Don't let him have it. Don't let him put you on the defensive. Don't worry about whether you have offended him. Let him be the one who has to worry about whether he has offended you. If you are interested in him, fine. If not, I'd give him nothing more than a polite nod and move right to a boy who does interest you.

I wonder if this doctor has ever even met any farang if he comes up with an absurdity like that. Even if he's right, beaches and temple visits are during the day. What does he think people do at night, sit in their hotel rooms watching Thai movies?

How about Pattaya? I could use some shirts, but my usual tailor is no longer in business. Any recommendations for good tailors that are currently open?

Richard's death wasn't sudden. His health had been going downhill for months. I last saw him at a Christmas dinner a few months before and he looked in bad shape even then. He did have some of his former employees helping him and a few friends looking in on him. As far as I know he never went to a hospital. He had no insurance and very little money. He died in his condo. Sadly, Richard died essentially broke. If you are interested, Richard's Facebook page still exists: https://www.facebook.com/richard.burk.351 Thailand does have very good assisted living facilities. Including room, meals, and care they average around 45,000 baht per month. Not bad considering at current exchange rates that amounts to a little less that US $1300 per month - and these are very nice places, not dumps. A couple things I do know about dying in Thailand - If you die in hospital, no autopsy is required. If you die anywhere else, an autopsy is required. No matter where you die in Thailand, it is my understanding these autopsies are done only in Bangkok. Also, hospitals do offer living wills. You can designate a surrogate to make medical decisions for you if you become incompetent to do so. You can also specify DNR options and organ donor options. I once asked the American Embassy what their involvement is if an American dies. I was told the first thing they do is find your passport. They notify your nearest living relative. They check to see if you have a will. They have to sign off on releasing your body for funeral, shipping back to home country, or whatever your will and family specify. Any other involvement is on an "if necessary" case by case basis. As for what happens when a farang dies in Thailand, you might be interested in this article: https://thepattayanews.com/2022/08/16/special-feature-one-a-day-part-one-what-happens-when-a-foreigner-dies-in-thailand/

As long as I'm making corrections and updating, yes it was Richard Burk who said that to me many years ago. Over the years I have repeated it many times on many topics. He was the owner of the Amor restaurant in Boyztown. After 16 years the restaurant eventually failed. The owner of the New Orleans restaurant, also well known in Boyztown, took over the location and converted it to a deli which he named Street Life. I never understood his rationale for that name, nevertheless at the time it was the only one of its kind in Pattaya. Richard did not own it. He was there as the manager. Street Life eventually failed too and Richard ended up going from job to job as restaurant manager in various locations. His final one was at Coco's restaurant on Soi Chaiyapruek - and that one eventually failed too. Richard had a very difficult time of it after Street Life failed, but one thing I always admired him for - he was a fighter. Despite all of his troubles he never gave up. I think those of us who have been in Pattaya long enough, whether they liked him or not, well remember Richard. He was quite a character. Richard died in March, 2017.

The correct version is: "If you want love in Thailand, rent it."

I suppose he must have thought you were the only person with a camera taking photos that day. And he also must have supposed you intended to publish the pictures on the internet. Anger and making demands are the wrong reactions. If he explained his situation a politely asked that you delete any photos that include him, he might have gotten somewhere. But anger and demands coming from someone you've never met or heard of - that kind of person gets no sympathy from me. I believe your story because I've seen it happen before, more than once, when someone becomes irate if he thinks his face might show up in photo where his face isn't supposed to be. In any case, that's his problem, not yours. If someone is truly worried about showing up in a photo and the wrong person might spot it, then he shouldn't be at that location or he can wear a mask or otherwise disguise himself. No matter what reason a person might not want to be photographed, in this day and age virtually everybody has cameras on their phones and they use them. It is useless to get upset with one photographer unless he is stalking you like paparazzi. The reality is if you want to be absolutely sure not to be photographed at certain locations or circumstances, then don't put yourself at those locations and circumstances. That's the only way I know of.

And he didn't inhale either . . .

Vinapu is right. No matter what "service" you want, even if it is hardly anything at all, you still will be expected to give the boy at least the minimum tip. After all, whatever you want is not something he decided. You're the one making that decision. He is providing what you ask for. Don't forget, you're spending a great deal of money just getting to Thailand. You're probably going to stay in a good hotel, eat in good restaurants, and have plenty of drinks. So, don't try to save money by being less than generous with the boys. After all, most likely the boys are the main reason you're going to Thailand in the first place. If the boy is giving you what you ask for and doing a good job of it, I suggest tipping beyond the minimum, even if what you ask for is minimal in itself. And if you do that, he will be genuinely happy to see you if you return and will do even better than the first time - and that beats hell out of him thinking "Oh no, him again!"

Are you familiar with Seat Guru? You might want to check that site when trying to decide where you want to sit. https://www.seatguru.com

For a Grab or Bolt ride, I have no idea. Since I have my own car I have never used them. The motorbike taxi will probably be between 20-80 baht (I don't think anyone needs me to tell them farang are going to be charged more than the boys pay), depending on what the boy negotiates with the driver. It should not be more than 100 baht. From Jomtien, boys are charged between 100-150 baht for a motorbike taxi ride all the way out to my home, which is more than 5km from Jomtien. They have never been charged any more than that, so a ride from Jomtien back to Boyztown, if that's where he is going, will definitely be under 100 baht. Of course he might not be going back to Boyztown at all. He might be going back to his room, and the boy's room could be anywhere. He might work in Boyztown, but his room might not be anywhere near there. I would simply ask him how much a motorbike taxi will cost. He'll know and will probably be honest about it. No matter where he is going in Pattaya, it should not exceed 150 baht.

There are a lot of variables involved in answering that. It mainly depends on the time of year. During high season traffic often can get just as bad as Bangkok. But right now we're in the middle of low season. Except for rush hour the traffic is usually rather light and flows smoothly. The later the hour, the less the traffic. For example, I live on "The Dark Side", meaning the east side of Sukhumvit - technically not in Pattaya at all. If you're not familiar, Sukhumvit is the main highway through Pattaya. Pattaya begins and ends on the west side of Sukhumvit. If you cross Sukhumvit, you've just exited Pattaya. The name of my area is Nong Prue. If I'm going to Jomtien from my place, right now the drive usually takes about 15 or 20 minutes. During high season the exact same commute will usually take a minimum of 45 minutes, and often even longer than that. But returning home is hardly ever more than 15 minutes because by that time most of the traffic has cleared and not much traffic is headed out my way in the first place. If you're bringing a boy from Boyztown to Jomtien, then you most likely will be with him during the commute. So, I would recommend going by baht bus or a Grab car. Depending on traffic and where you're staying in Jomtien, the ride should take no more than ten or 15 minutes. But when it's time for him to go back, you're probably not going with him. Give him money enough for a motorbike taxi, which is much quicker and probably no waiting. He'll appreciate that. Of course, if he turns out to be a dud who won't live up to whatever he agreed to do, let him wait for a baht bus . . .

The answer is both. It depends on how and why you would be in a rural area. After living in Thailand as long as I have, I can tell you the more Thai you learn to speak the better off you'll be. The ability to speak Thai usually is not absolutely imperative when traveling to a rural area, even if you are traveling alone, but it certainly helps. You might be surprised by how many people, even in those areas, who can speak at least a little bit of English. Think about the bar boys who speak enough English to get by. Where do you think they got it? I think I speak Thai quite well. When I travel to a rural area I don't have any problems communicating. I can speak it well enough and I can understand it well enough. But I've never even tried to learn to read it. I've never found it necessary. Almost everywhere signs and even restaurant menus are in both Thai and English. Most of the time if I travel to a rural area it is with a boy. No problem communicating with him, but if we're visiting family and/or friends, without the ability to speak a good amount of Thai you won't be able to communicate very much with them. You certainly won't be able to participate in conversations and you'll spend much of the time feeling left out. You know why? Because you'll be left out. If you're retiring in Thailand, but don't plan to live in a major city, I would definitely advise spending much of at least your first year attending Thai language classes or hiring a good tutor. You'll learn enough of the basics to be able to pick up a vast amount of the language on your own. Just as important, don't forget that Thai is a tonal language. You'll need to work on getting the tones right. A lot of farang have a quite a bit of trouble with the tones, but without getting them right many Thais won't understand what you're trying to say. I can't stress strongly enough how important it is. And remember that most of the time if the word is more than one syllable, the emphasis is usually on the last syllable. Even if you're going to live in a major city, I would still advise language lessons. The more Thai you can speak and understand the easier life will be and the more meaningful life will be. I know several farang who retired to Thailand, but eventually gave up and went back to wherever they came from mainly because of the language barrier. They never made a good effort to learn the language. If it is going to be a few years before you retire to Thailand, I would recommend starting Thai language lessons wherever you are. The more you know even before retiring the better off you'll be. The same, by the way, goes even if you only travel to Thailand for holidays. The more you know, the better.

Do you realize the entire focus of your post is about the gay scene, bars, and boys? Is that, and only that, what you will be looking for under retirement?

Don't be. Wrong reaction and wrong emotion. It can happen to anyone. That's your body telling you to give yourself a rest before you wear yourself out completely. I know most who come here for a holiday think they're missing out on something if they don't have sex every day - especially if they rarely get any back home. But that's nonsense. I think sex and boys should be thought of as a part of your holiday, but not the entire focus. There are plenty of other things to see and do when it's just not the right moment for bars and boys. Try a legitimate Thai massage. Try a genuine foot massage. Go sightseeing. Go shopping. Try an out of the way, unfamiliar restaurant. Take a seat at a good location and spend some time just people watching - and don't be surprised if a young gent approaches you - and he might not even be a money boy. We all slow down as we age. You need to accept that as reality. If you need a rest once in a while, don't get depressed about it. Merely find something else to do that day and by the next day you'll probably be ok again and raring to go.

I recently replaced my aging bread machine. It was about 15 years old. It still worked, but it was time for it to retire. I ended up giving it to my dog's trainer. I spent time researching the various machines. I decided on the Biolomix bread maker, one of the best ones out there. The price variations for it are hard to believe. I found the best deal for it on Shopee. I've seen it advertised for between 15000 to 34000 baht - for the exact same machine. Here is the one I bought from Shopee: https://shopee.co.th/product/445990429/17937240833 2680 baht for the very same machine! Incredible. I've been using it now for about two months and it works perfectly. And the instruction booklet that comes with it is entirely in English. I received it 2 days after placing my order. If you're looking for a bread machine in Thailand, this is my recommendation for the one to get. If you click on the link and scroll down you will find a comment posted on the Product Rating. Guess who wrote it - and I meant every word of it. Ever since buying it, the only time I ever buy bread anymore is if I want baguettes. I've tried several times to make baguettes myself, but they never come out right. Oh well, I can't compete with Julia Child. If you don't live in Thailand, shop around for it. There is no reason to pay tens of thousands of baht when you can find it at the same price I did. Believe me, it is the exact same machine.

My opinion: If the boy initiated it -500 baht If you initiated it, I agree with TotallyOz - minimum of 1000 baht, emphasis on minimum, especially if he reciprocated. That's my recommendation for Pattaya. Bangkok, you would probably be expected to pay at least 500 baht more. Also, I forget where I read it - I think it was a z909 post - saying there is nothing wrong with negotiating the price, even sitting right there. I agree. Some might feel awkward about it, but I think one would end up feeling a whole lot more awkward if you are planning to tip 500 and the boy is expecting 2000. So, this is where "business before pleasure" comes in.

I've never received that sticker. I'm glad - because I still have no idea what it is supposed to mean. That old saying, "One picture is worth 1000 words" - yes, if you can at least figure out what the picture is supposed to represent. With these stickers, all too often I'd rather have the 1000 words . . .

Do they? Often I have no idea what the sticker is supposed to mean - and there are many more than the ones z909 posted. Bottom right, just above the rabbit holding a baseball bat - a bear with something hanging out of his ear. I don't have a clue. And there are many more like that.

LINE is so popular because it is free. The app is free and it is free to use. You can use it for voice calls, video calls, sending photos, sending videos, text messaging, sending clickable links, showing your current precise location, and several other options that I have never used because I don't know what the hell they do. And with the text messages you can see if the recipient saw the message yet. There are many other options, such as adding friends, requesting to be someone's friend, and more. It also works internationally. I have friends in Laos and we use LINE regularly to communicate with each other. I even have a friend in Bangladesh and LINE works just fine there too. I'm guessing it works in plenty of other countries - maybe the whole world for all I know. Most of the time when I am on a voice call, the call quality is as good or even better than I get using a regular telephone connection. It does have ads, but they are always at the very bottom of the screen and most of the time you probably wouldn't even notice their presence. They also sell smilies and avatars if you want them. You can use your LINE ID on two devices. I use it on my smartphone and my desktop computer. No third devices, though. If you put your LINE ID on a third device, the app will cancel out your ID on one of the other two devices. If you want LINE on a third device, you need a second LINE ID. And the whole thing is absolutely free - my favorite price. All you need is an internet connection. I use it all the time. It's one of those things that once you have it, you don't know how you ever lived without it.

Thank you very much. I certainly appreciate that. You don't happen to have Brad Pitt's, do you . . . ?

Whether he has zero posts or 1000 posts, I would not give out any information about anyone without permission from the person he's asking about. If you have the massage guy's LINE ID, you could contact him, tell him the new poster's LINE ID, or whatever contact information you have for him, and leave it up to the massage guy whether to contact him or not. I'd say either that or just forget the whole thing. What makes this person think you have the massage guy's LINE ID in the first place?

For me, for a foot massage I tip 100 baht. If it is especially good and significantly better than usual, I'll tip more, but I think 100 baht for a standard foot massage is adequate, appropriate, and expected. Most foot massage venues offer a choice of a 30 minute massage or a full hour massage. For me, it doesn't matter. Either way I tip 100 baht. The masseurs always seem quite pleased with that. Of course, those of you who wish to be more generous with your tips than I am, the masseurs will be very pleased.

I know that no matter where you go, whether for a massage, a restaurant, a taxi, or whatever, once in a while you're going to get miserable service. I accept that as part of being here. Based on your experience, that lady-boy didn't deserve a tip at all. If life was always fair, it should have been her tipping you for putting up with it. If I had any 50 baht notes, that would have been the tip. Then again, 100 baht isn't going to break the bank or ruin anyone's holiday. I would just give the fucking 100 baht, mainly to avoid any problems, but I would never go back to that particular massage shop. A lousy experience, yes, but I would just move on and forget about it. "Oh, well these things happen." - Nancy Marchand (Mrs. Christie), 'The Hospital'

It has been my experience "short time" means you give him his money and he leaves when you are done with your "activities". Usually that means about 1 to 3 hours. I've never had a boy click a stopwatch and tell me time's up. Don't forget, "short time" does not necessarily mean you take him off and go immediately to your hotel room. It could mean first taking him out to dinner, taking him for a legitimate body or foot massage, taking him to a karaoke or concert if one is in town - then going to your hotel. What I usually do is the longer I have him with me, the greater his tip - especially if you're both really enjoying whatever you're doing and each other's company - and if you can tell the boy isn't faking it. "Long time" to me means he sleeps with you overnight. One thing I've seen farang do, and I don't recommend it at all, is take a boy off and then take him to another gay bar. Unless the boy suggests it himself (which he might do if he has a friend working at another bar), don't do that. I can't think of a way to bore him more. He works in a bar. Does anyone really think his idea of a fun evening is to go to another bar? The only reason I would ever do that would be if there is a bar show he wants to see. Otherwise, do something else.