AdamSmith

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Glfk_8oU7ko

Justin Bieber Cops Claim of Drag Racing Doesn't Hold Water 1/25/2014 1:00 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF EXCLUSIVE Miami Beach cops claim Justin Bieber was drag racing at the time of his arrest Thursday ... but the facts seem to show the allegation is MADE UP ... because we've learned they were actually UNDER THE SPEED LIMIT in the middle of the so-called drag race. According to the police report ... cops spotted Justin and his buddy Khalil drag racing at around 4 AM. The police report says ... an officer observed the 2 vehicles reaching speeds between 55 and 60 MPH. Now the problems. Cops say they noticed the "drag race" on the 2600 block of Pine Tree Drive. Cops were traveling in the opposite direction so they made a U turn and pursued the cars for 15 blocks. Mind you ... Justin was driving one of the fastest race cars around -- a Lamborghini Gallardo LP550-2 Spyder. Khalil was driving a Ferrari 16M. Cops claim 2 SUVs in Justin's entourage actually blocked off traffic to give the 2 a clear path. So how could a 15-block drag race in those cars reach speeds of ONLY 60 MPH? Fact is ... THEY DIDN'T REACH 60. IN FACT THEY DIDN'T REACH 50. THEY DIDN'T EVEN REACH 40. TMZ has learned ... the place where Justin and Khalil rented the cars attached a GPS device that also tracks speed. The GPS clocked both cars at 27 MPH at the 3500 block of Pine Tree Drive ... smack in the middle of the so-called "drag race." There's only one time they ever broke 50 MPH and that was long before the pursuit started. When Justin and Khalil left the club, one car was briefly clocked at 52 MPH and the other 47 MPH. Both drivers slowed down pretty quick and 5 blocks before cops noticed them they were going 34 MPH in a 30 MPH zone. Blocks later, they were steady at 27 MPH. So it seems cops goosed the facts to justify the stop. And that's not the only problem with the police report. TMZ broke the story ... Justin's blood alcohol level was .014 -- a barely measurable amount. Yet cops claim Justin reeked of alcohol both at the scene and at the police department. Read more: http://www.tmz.com#ixzz2rRLTpPtD

Inching closer... Supercomputer models one second of human brain activity http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/10567942/Supercomputer-models-one-second-of-human-brain-activity.html

Shot right past me the first time.

Nor, certes, the Whistling Emoticon of the Boytoys.

Justin Bieber reportedly resistant to rehab, urged to try therapy Justin Bieber's dizzying downward spiral over the last year has apparently unnerved his inner circle. TMZ says they've been trying to talk him into rehab for months but he's "scoffed at the idea [and] won't have a conversation about it and insists he doesn't need it." But in the wake of the popster's arrest on Thursday, they've purportedly switched tactics and are now urging him to return to Los Angeles to begin therapy pronto. The most pressing problem they want Bieber, 19, to tackle is his use of substances "and the underlying issues that have caused it." Seems his camp believes his troubles are two-fold: unresolved difficulties from his formative years and the whole rich-star-whose-every-whim-is-granted thing. "Everyone around him is urging him to seek help," a source tells E! News, with another adding, "There is massive concern right now. The concern is, 'We have to figure this out. We have to fix this and do whatever it takes.' They think the problem is the people he is hanging out with. He has some issues to work on." According to TMZ, Justin hasn't "rejected the notion of therapy and is willing to have the discussion when he returns to L.A." As for whether the courts could order the Biebs into rehab, the chances are slim, although if his recent egging kerfuffle turns into a felony rap, a trip to treatment could be part of a plea deal. Justin, who was reportedly "crying his eyes out" in jail, was still in Miami on Thursday night. The London Daily Mail claims he refused to take a waiting private jet back to Los Angeles because he didn't want to face his management team. He was spotted hanging with his dad, Jeremy, who supposedly helped block off the residential street where his son was busted on suspicion of drag-racing in a Lamborghini. Papa Bieber, for his part, feels his public-endangering offspring is being unfairly targeted. "I can protect my kids, but I can't protect them from you and your lies," he tweeted on Friday. "Believe in the truth not in the lies of the enemy. #reallife." http://wonderwall.msn.com/music/gossip-justin-bieber-reportedly-resistant-to-rehab-urged-to-try-therapy-27958.gallery?gt1=28135

There being no dedicated Music forum, this goes here. Caught my notice because I have an old 45 record of the Great Stalacpipe Organ described below. The 10 strangest musical instrumentsThe cat piano, the ice trumpet, the road that plays Rossini ... Trevor Cox picks the world's weirdest tools for making music Trevor Cox The Guardian, Monday 20 January 2014 Hear kitty … the Katzenklavier, or cat piano. Photograph: Alamy 1 The Great Stalacpipe Organ Leland W Sprinkle was an electronic engineer whose day job was at the Pentagon. Sprinkle spent three years, armed with a small hammer, a tuning fork and an angle-grinder, searching for good-sounding stalactites in Luray Caverns, Virginia, and then altering them so they played in tune. The resulting organ can play 37 different notes, with the reverberance of the cave adding an ethereal quality. 2 The Blackpool High Tide Organ There are only a few examples of permanent sonic art in the world, and three of them are wave organs – in San Francisco, Zadar in Croatia, and Blackpool. The Blackpool one uses church organ pipes, through which air is forced by the ebb and flow of waves. The music depends on the vigour of the sea. Sometimes it moans and groans; sometimes it resembles a lazy orchestra of train whistles – or a slow-motion replay of a nightmare recorder lesson. 3 The road that plays Rossini Just outside the city of Lancaster in California is a road that plays Rossini's William Tell Overture. Made by Honda, it's a bit like those rumble strips that line major roads and create a rattling noise should drivers veer off – except, thanks to the spacing of the ridges, this turns the rumble into a melody. Closeup ridges give a high note, further apart lowers the frequency. 4 Musical ice Link to video: Norway's Ice Music Festival Terje Isungset, a Norwegian drummer and composer, makes instruments out of ice extracted from frozen lakes by chainsaw. His ice trumpet flares dramatically outward and has a primitive sound, like a hunting horn. The ice xylophone evokes like the clinking of an empty wine bottle being struck with a soft mallet. Any old ice won't do: only the right microscopic structure will create a beautiful ringing. 5 The Cat Piano Athanasius Kircher, a 17th-century German Jesuit scholar, documented some fantastical devices including the Katzenklavier ("cat piano"). It has a normal keyboard in front of a line of cages, each of which has a cat trapped inside. When a key is pressed, a nail is driven into the tail of one unfortunate feline, which naturally screeches. It was designed to shock psychiatric patients into changing their behaviour, rather than be something Monteverdi could be played on. Fortunately, it was probably never built. 6 Aeolus Acoustic Wind Pavilion Aeolus is a 10-tonne instrument created by artist Luke Jerram. Long wires stretch from poles to a large metal arch. Each wire vibrates in the wind; the sound is then amplified by pipes. The result is an eerie, pulsing sound like a minimalist piece of music by composer Steve Reich in which tones come and go depending on the wind. 7 The Musical Stones of Skiddaw Queen Victoria heard performances of Handel, Mozart and Rossini on this large stone xylophone, which took Joseph Richardson 13 years to construct out of hornfels slate from the Lake District. The vast lithophone currently resides in the Keswick Museum and Art Gallery in Cumbria, where visitors are encouraged to play it. Some stones ring beautifully, like a wooden xylophone; others make more of a thunk, like a beer bottle being struck with a stick. 8 The Singing Ringing Tree The Singing Ringing Tree, near Burnley. Photograph: Trevor Cox Salford Found high above Burnley on the Pennine moors, this 3m-high sculpture uses the prevailing westerly winds blowing across the ends of the pipes to generate discordant and haunting sounds to accompany the view from Crown Point. It was designed by architects Mike Tonkin and Anna Liu in 2006 and won a Royal Institute of British Architects award. 9 The Gastown Steam Clock The Westminster Chimes ringing out from Big Ben are a familiar sound. A breathy version of the same tune is played by this clock in the streets of Vancouver, with notes created by steam forced through whistles. Based on a design from 1875, the whistles get their steam from underground pipes that heat downtown buildings. A plaque proclaims: "The world's first steam-powered clock has been created for the enjoyment of everyone." 10 The Vegetable Orchestra Totally tubular … the Vienna Vegetable Orchestra rock out in Prague. Photograph: Isifa Image Service/Rex Features A surprisingly diverse range of musical instruments can be made from vegetables, including pan-pipes, recorders and clarinets made from carrots. While these instruments can carry a tune, they mostly fail to create a pleasing sound. A notable exception are the instruments created by the Vegetable Orchestra of Vienna, who play concerts all over the world – and then, at the end, give audiences fresh vegetable soup. http://www.theguardian.com/music/2014/jan/21/10-strangest-musical-instruments

Tried that too; same result. One of the few times the penchant for going both ways has failed to deliver.

I favor "cold tea," which is how certain restaurants in Boston's Chinatown refer to beer served after-hours in a teapot.

Somehow I begin to suspect I don't stand a chance, between MsGuy on the one hand and on the other hitoall, really the forum's own Andy Kaufman.

Too cruel... Charged with drag racing.

Was that the joke?!

Not a joke, actually. These sleek and sexy flask garters are adjustable. The standard size will fit a 17-23 inch (43-58.5cm) leg. If you need a larger or smaller size just let me know in the 'notes to seller' box when you check out. There is no additional charge for larger or smaller sizes Great for brides, bridesmaids gifts, birthday or Christmas gift for that awesome sister or best friend, Halloween costume accessory... http://www.etsy.com/listing/100323357/adjustable-flask-garter-4oz-flask?ref=sr_gallery_10&ga_search_query=garter+flask&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_page=2&ga_search_type=all

Dang. When I do that, a new window opens, and loads, and loads...but no imago. Ah well. Exquisitely Borges-like, this 'most awesome ever' thing which will not ever quite show itself to me.

Agree completely. The one good thing in this latest incident is that he broke the law possibly seriously enough to be called to some kind of account, which could give him sufficient pause to begin taking stock, but without causing any fatalities. However I suspect it will take more than just this one thing to get his attention, regrettably.

Justin Bieber is the Bowie of bad behaviourWhere once our pop icons caused trouble in the same predictable ways - fights! drugs! - Bieber is putting a creative spin on being naughty. What will he think of next? Music Blog The Guardian Justin Bieber … naughtiness chameleon. Photograph: Adam Ward/Newspix/Rex Features Is Justin Bieber the most creative artist working in the music industry right now? It's not a question I thought I'd be asking this year, or even this morning when I woke up. But on hearing the news that he's been arrested for drag racing a yellow Lamborghini (the colour is important, apparently) in Miami Beach while under the influence, a realisation dawned on me. Whether it's having his monkey detained, cursing a former president, or being caught in possession of eggs without a licence, Bieber appears to have moved outside the genre of naughtiness and towards something approaching artform. Just compare his work to that of the previous generation's chief troublemaker: Pete Doherty. Back in the mid-00s, when I was working at the NME, the call would regularly come into the office to inform us that Doherty had once again fallen foul of the law. We never sat around discussing what it could be this time. It was never going to be for bungee jumping from Centre Point while dressed as the Honey Monster, or for being unable to control his pet anteater in Telford train station. It was always for possession of drugs. Boring. In comparison, Bieber is trolling the law. Like a British resident attempting to mock our arcane legal system by riding a donkey over an iron footbridge between the hours of 6am and 7am while singing the national anthem in a Swiss accent, Bieber is prodding and poking the stuffy establishment into asking themselves why we live as we do. He's testing the very nature of the establishment. He could well be a genius capable of bringing down Western civilisation. When you put it into this context, bad boys such as Doherty are shown up as basically the Coldplay of trouble, churning out the same material over and over and hoping nobody notices. Bieber, on the other hand, is closer to the Bowie of bad behaviour: a naughtiness chameleon whose next guise is virtually impossible to predict. He could get implicated in a plot to kidnap Guy Goma. He could shoot a giraffe clean in the knackers with a spud gun. But there's no point guessing - because like Bowie himself, Bieber is already three steps ahead of you. http://www.theguardian.com/music/musicblog/2014/jan/23/justin-bieber-david-bowie-tim-jonze

Repost? Image vanished before I could look. Meanwhile the second best practical joke ever:

LOL No question that rendered goose fat is the gold standard. One Christmas I roasted a goose, and got several jars of fat to cook with over the next several months. Heavenly. I never did it again, as the roasting got goose grease all over the oven. But maybe next Christmas...!

Unsure whether to post this under Porn or Art, I'll fudge and put it here. Basquiat's Ex-Girlfriend Paige Powell Presents A Series Of Very NSFW Images Of The ArtistWarning: This post contains a lot of full frontal nudity. It is very NSFW. A budding photographer who'd recently moved to New York snapped intimate photographs of her lover, nude and relaxing in her Upper West Side apartment. If you're Paige Powell, this story is made ever more interesting thanks to the fact that her lover happened to be one of the most iconic artists of the last century -- Mr. Jean-Michel Basquiat. Powell revisits her personal photography archive in an ongoing exhibition in New York City, sharing a treasure trove of Basquiat imagery with a gallery audience for the first time. The black-and-white, 35mm photos capture the famously meteoric artist at his most relaxed -- reclining on a futon, smoking, doodling and watching cartoons. The exhibition, entitled "Jean-Michel Basquiat, Reclining Nude," captures a key figure from New York's transformative art scene in his natural state, while subverting the art historical tradition of the reclining nude from a female muse to a male artist. "Paige Powell moved to New York City from Portland, Oregon in 1980 with the intent of working for Interview Magazine or Woody Allen. A few weeks after she arrived, she landed both jobs," states Suzanne Geiss Gallery. Working for Interview, Powell quickly became chummy with a certain fellow named Andy Warhol, who, in 1983, introduced her to Jean-Michel. The two had their first date on August 9, 1983. Warhol even recorded the momentous event in his calendar, according to AnOther Magazine. "They went out to Brooklyn to a black neighbourhood and went to a White Castle and had eight hamburgers and then two people came in with big sticks and they thought they were going to kill them," he mused. Whether or not Warhol's account of the budding romance is accurate remains uncertain, but it's surely a 1980s art world memory we're happy to spend way too long imagining. “The photographs provide an intimate look into our private lives while we were together in the early 1980s. They are at once vulnerable and trusting images of our love and the daily life of Jean-Michel Basquiat,” Powell told ArtDaily. The candid and decidedly NFSW shots of young Basquiat, taken only five years before his death, give fans of the Haitian-American graffiti master a chance to peek into his life behind closed doors. See the photos yourself in the exhibition "Jean-Michel Basquiat, Reclining Nude," showing at The Suzanne Geiss Company until February 22, 2014. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/22/basquiat-nude-photos_n_4638362.html?utm_hp_ref=arts

TMZ also reports he is habitually high on the codeine cocktail 'sizzurp' and other substances. http://m.tmz.com/#Article/2014/01/18/justin-bieber-drugs-sizzurp-lean-cocaine-rehab http://m.tmz.com/#Article/2014/01/19/justin-bieber-sizzurp-lean-codeine-actavis Interesting to see if the cops do a urine drug screen which would catch some of these, or just a breathalyzer.

One more... Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Press Conference By Michael Swaine Over the past year, in this space, I've rewritten the early history of Dr. Dobb's to include an anachronistic 1976 podcast in the style of a 1950s Bob & Ray radio show, engaged in schmaltzy reminiscing about coding for a living in the 1970s, evoked the spirit and writing style of Charles Dickens to advise Steve Ballmer on how to do a press conference, riffed on awards and snakes, delivered a column sponsored by the letter K, shared my abortive experiment with wikihood, hustled for tips at Foo Bar, listened in on the Linux Ladies, rambled on about ancient computing devices and screwy ideas, mused about why some experts are taken seriously when they pontificate outside the areas of their expertise and others aren't, and interviewed a bird. So in April, when I heard that virtually all of EMI's music would be available through iTunes without DRM copy protection but at higher sound quality for an extra charge per track, I immediately realized that I should address the issue in the form of a parody of Wallace Stevens's acclaimed poem, "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird" (writing.upenn.edu/~afilreis/88/stevens-13ways.html). I Among CEOs standing like snowy mountains, The only moving thing Was the eye of the man in black. II I am of two minds, Like an iPod That can store DRM-free tunes at 256kbps or the old stuff at 128kbps. III "Blackbird singing in the dead of night..." The unheard tunes of the Beatles were a part of the pantomime. IV A song and the open road Are one. A song and the open road and freedom Are one twenty-nine. V The European Union asked for the jangle Of shared chains. Does it not prefer The silence of none? asked the man in black. VI Icicles fill the window with frozen Video. The sunlight of this announcement crosses it, to and fro. The ice begins to melt. VII O thin men of the music industry, Why do you imagine caged tunes? Do you not see how EMI's act Makes you look dull, dense, and greedy? VIII I hear noble accents And crisper sound quality; But I know, too, That EMI and Apple stand to make a bundle on this deal. IX When this light shone out, It emphasized the darkness At Sony BMG, Warner, and Universal. X At the news of albums DRM-free at no extra cost, Even the free-music choir Would skip a beat. XI He rode over the music industry in a Jonathan Ive coach. Once, a fear pierced him, In that he misread his future in a black cube. XII The dinosaurs are moving. The Indies say welcome. XIII It was morning all day. The next day the EU threatened to sue Apple over pricing. The man in black shifted uncomfortably in his catbird seat. http://collaboration.cmc.ec.gc.ca/science/rpn/biblio/ddj/Website/articles/DDJ/2007/0706/070501ms02/070501ms02.html

So avoiding work as ever through mindless Googling, I was tickled at how many people have set themselves to parody the great Wallace Stevens poem 'Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird.' (Original here: http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/174503) Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Tortilla (2001) by Aaron Abeyta i. among twenty different tortillas the only thing moving was the mouth of the niño ii. i was of three cultures like a tortilla for which there are three bolios iii. the tortilla grew on the wooden table it was a small part of the earth iv. a house and a tortilla are one a man a woman and a tortilla are one v. i do not know which to prefer the beauty of the red wall or the beauty of the green wall the tortilla fresh or just after vi. tortillas filled the small kitchen with ancient shadows the shadow of Maclovia cooking long ago the tortilla rolled from the shadow the innate roundness vii. o thin viejos of chimayo why do you imagine biscuits do you not see how the tortilla lives with the hands of the women about you viii. i know soft corn and beautiful inescapable sopapillas but i know too that the tortilla has taught me what i know ix. when the tortilla is gone it marks the end of one of many tortillas x. at the sight of tortillas browning on a black comal even the pachucos of española would cry out sharply xi. he rode over new mexico in a pearl low rider once he got a flat in that he mistook the shadow of his spare for a tortilla xii. the abuelitas are moving the tortilla must be baking xiii. it was cinco de mayo all year it was warm and it was going to get warmer the tortilla sat on the frijolito plate http://www.teachmix.com/litartgreen/node/66 Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Pinhead Since Pinhead the Cenobite recently posted a "punctuation lame" in untutored style, making THIRTEEN false allegations of error on my part, I feel the Pin is deserving of this special tribute. I Among twenty sleazy Net trolls, The lowliest of all Is a troll called Pinhead. II I have multiple nightmares, A USENET In which there are thirteen Pinheads. III Pinhead jabbers through his modem. That is a small part of his performance. IV A Rat and a Mutt Are one. A Rat and a Mutt and a Pinhead Are one. V I do not know which is the worst, The libels of Woof Davis, Or Wotan's stupid innuendoes, Pinhead's articles, Or all three. VI Someone filled several newsgroups With idiotic rubbish, I suspect that Pinhead Posted randomly. The Net Finds in Pinhead A cypher and an imbecile. VII O wise folks of USENET, Why do you fault my postings? Do you not see how Pinhead Floods numerous groups With mind-numbing babble? VIII I read the lowly whines And the muddled, nonsensical blather; And I know too, That Pinhead has spewed out That which I read. IX When Pinhead posts on the Net He makes Woof Davis Sound almost intelligent. X At the thought of more trash Posted by Pinhead, Even a strong orangoutang Would screech in agony. XI I looked over the postings In the Kooks' group. Once, a groan escaped me, In that I discerned The lamentable gibberish Of that bore, Pinhead. XII The drivel is flowing. Pinhead must be posting. XIII His trash was all over the Net. It was appalling And it was getting worse. Pinhead sat At his keyboard. https://groups.google.com/forum/#!msg/rec.arts.poems/PaW13SicXBU/MSCg1TnuckQJ Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blogofascist (With Apologies to) Wallace Stevens I Among twenty leftist websites, The only moving thing Was the eye of the blogofascist. II I was of three minds, Like a diary In which there are three blogofascists. III The blogofascist whirled in the autumn winds. It was a small part of the pantomime. IV A man and a woman Are one. A man and a woman and a blogofascist Are one. V I do not know which to prefer, The beauty of inflections Or the beauty of innuendoes, The blogofascist writing Or just after. VI Idiocy filled the long window With barbaric gas. The shadow of the blogofascist Crossed it, to and fro. The mood Traced in the shadow An indecipherable cause. VII O thin men of the right, Why do you imagine golden birds? Do you not see how the blogofascist Walks away with the feet Of the women about you? VIII I know noble accents And lucid, inescapable rhythms; But I know, too, That the blogofascist is involved In what I know. IX When the blogofascist dropped out of sight, It marked the edge Of one of many circles. X At the sight of blogofascists Typing in a green light, Even the bawds of euphony Would cry out sharply. XI Joe rode over Connecticut In a glass coach. Once, a fear pierced him, In that he mistook The shadow of his equipage For blogofascists. XII The river is moving. The blogofascists must be writing. XIII It was evening all afternoon. It was snowing And it was going to snow. The blogofascists sat In the catbird seat. http://www.dailykos.com/story/2006/08/12/236163/-Dedicated-to-Meteor-Blades# Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Finder I Among twenty snowy mountains, The only moving thing Was they eye of the finder. II I was of three lives, Like the tail Of a finder's fee. III The finder's fee whirled in the autum winds. It was a bitter part of the pantomime. IV A rat and a snake Are one. A rat and a snake and a finder Are one. V I do not know which to prefer, The beauty of interested angels, Or the beauty of venture firms tripping over themselves, The finder going into voice mail Or my spam filter. VI Icicles filled the long window With barbaric glass. The shadow of the finder Crossed it, to and fro. The mood Traced in the shadow An unfundable venture. VII O entrepreneurs of Haddam, Why do you imagine no one will fund you? Do you not see how the finder Runs to cut off Investors making their own way to you? VIII I know noble accents And lucid, inescapable rhythms; But I know, too, That the finder is intent In fucking up what I know. IX When the finder fled out of sight, It marked the beginning Of one of many victories. X At the sight of finders Fleeing in the light of dawn, Even the lawyers and other service providers Would cry out sharply. XI He travelled the road show In a glass coach. Once, a fear pierced him, In that he mistook The shadow of his equipage For finders. XII The river is moving. The venture must be finder-free. XIII It was evening all afternoon. It was snowing And it was going to snow. The finder sat Out in the cold. http://www.wac6.com/wac6/2010/06/thirteen-ways-of-looking-at-a-finder.html Thirteen Ways of Looking at an M&M Package I Among dozens of shelves of candies and sweets, The only thing my sight fastened on, Was a bright, red package of m&m’s. II My mind reeled dizzily with pure ecstasy, Like a trapeze artist When he is flinging himself into space. III The m&m package sat between the gumdrops and the twizzlers, It was part of a small plot by the Sugar Calories Brigade. IV A Twix bar and a Whatchamacallit Are one. A Twix bar and a Whatchamacallit and an m&m package Are one. V I do not know which to choose, The craving of jaw-sticking caramel, Or the smooth texture of peanut butter, The melting in your mouth of chocolate m&m’s, Or all three. VI Undecision and confusion jammed my mind With sharp, prickling thoughts. The surface of the m&m package Twinkled up merrily to me. Which made my mind, Still cluttered with the unanswered question, More phased than before. VII O ignorant, deceived people of this world, Why do visions of m&m packages dance in your heads? Do you not see how the m&m package Is filled with 360,000 kilograms of fat, Making you people slaves to them forever? VIII I know of healthy, enriching foods And their help to aid long lives; But I know too, That the m&m package is not In what I know of good food. IX When I left the m&m package, I could see it in my sight, One delicious yet dangerous sweet of many. X At the sight of m&m packages, Glittering in the white light, Even the most held-back people Would cry out in longing. XI A man walked down the candy aisle, In search of the famous favorite, Once a false hope overtook him, In that he mistook, A package of Skittles, For m&m’s. XII If a crowd is ranting and raving, The m&m packages must be sold out. XIII It will be a most saddening say, It will be a most crushing day, The most horrible fate of all, If the m&m packages Ever go away. http://schnickledoogr2.livejournal.com/19867.html ...and finally, from a delightful site called 'Geoffrey Chaucer Hath a Blog': Heere ys a newe poeme from todaye. Yt ys inspired by a verye wondirful adaptacioun of a verye wondirful poeme. XIII Wayes of Regardinge a Litel Woolen Hatte, a poeme by Galfridus Chaucer I Amonge XX busye customes deskes The onlye thinge nat movinge Was my litel woolen hatte II Ich was of three myndes Lyke a haberdassheres stalle On the which do hange III litel woolen hattes III My woolen hatte flewe off yn the wynde, Alack! That hatte was ful wel expensif. IV A gentil and a churl Are one. A gentil and a churl and a litel woolen hatte Are one. V Ich ne knowe nat which to prefer, The beautee of sentence Or the beautee of solaas, The litel woolen hatte being put on Or just aftir. VI Isekeles did fille the greate wyndow Wyth glas rough and ungentil. The shadwe of the woolen hatte Dyd crosse yt, hider and thider. The hattes wearer Traced yn the frost A vers aboute a kankedort. VII O thin men of the Guildhall Wherfor thynke ye upon golden hattes? Marken ye nat how the litel woolen hatte Suited ys ful wel For a cold daye? VIII Ich knowe of noble romaunces And fayre, delitable vers yn heigh style, Yet eke wel Ich knowe That the litel woolen hatte ys woven up Yn what Ich knowe. IX Whanne the litel woolen hatte was loste, Yt marked the beginninge Of anothir chidinge by Philippa. X At the sighte of litel woolen hattes On the heades of tale-telling pilgrims Even John Gower Wolde crye out sharplye. XI He walkid alle arounde London Yn uncomfortable shoon Oones, a great thirste took hym Yn that he mistook The shadwe of hys woolen hatte For a barrel of ale. XII The river ys movinge Let nat the hatte falle off of the syde of the ferryboate. XIII Yt was Aprille alle afternoon And ther felle soote shoures To percen the droghte. The woolen hatte Sat upon myn heade. http://houseoffame.blogspot.com/