AdamSmith

TMZ also reports he is habitually high on the codeine cocktail 'sizzurp' and other substances. http://m.tmz.com/#Article/2014/01/18/justin-bieber-drugs-sizzurp-lean-cocaine-rehab http://m.tmz.com/#Article/2014/01/19/justin-bieber-sizzurp-lean-codeine-actavis Interesting to see if the cops do a urine drug screen which would catch some of these, or just a breathalyzer.

One more... Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Press Conference By Michael Swaine Over the past year, in this space, I've rewritten the early history of Dr. Dobb's to include an anachronistic 1976 podcast in the style of a 1950s Bob & Ray radio show, engaged in schmaltzy reminiscing about coding for a living in the 1970s, evoked the spirit and writing style of Charles Dickens to advise Steve Ballmer on how to do a press conference, riffed on awards and snakes, delivered a column sponsored by the letter K, shared my abortive experiment with wikihood, hustled for tips at Foo Bar, listened in on the Linux Ladies, rambled on about ancient computing devices and screwy ideas, mused about why some experts are taken seriously when they pontificate outside the areas of their expertise and others aren't, and interviewed a bird. So in April, when I heard that virtually all of EMI's music would be available through iTunes without DRM copy protection but at higher sound quality for an extra charge per track, I immediately realized that I should address the issue in the form of a parody of Wallace Stevens's acclaimed poem, "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird" (writing.upenn.edu/~afilreis/88/stevens-13ways.html). I Among CEOs standing like snowy mountains, The only moving thing Was the eye of the man in black. II I am of two minds, Like an iPod That can store DRM-free tunes at 256kbps or the old stuff at 128kbps. III "Blackbird singing in the dead of night..." The unheard tunes of the Beatles were a part of the pantomime. IV A song and the open road Are one. A song and the open road and freedom Are one twenty-nine. V The European Union asked for the jangle Of shared chains. Does it not prefer The silence of none? asked the man in black. VI Icicles fill the window with frozen Video. The sunlight of this announcement crosses it, to and fro. The ice begins to melt. VII O thin men of the music industry, Why do you imagine caged tunes? Do you not see how EMI's act Makes you look dull, dense, and greedy? VIII I hear noble accents And crisper sound quality; But I know, too, That EMI and Apple stand to make a bundle on this deal. IX When this light shone out, It emphasized the darkness At Sony BMG, Warner, and Universal. X At the news of albums DRM-free at no extra cost, Even the free-music choir Would skip a beat. XI He rode over the music industry in a Jonathan Ive coach. Once, a fear pierced him, In that he misread his future in a black cube. XII The dinosaurs are moving. The Indies say welcome. XIII It was morning all day. The next day the EU threatened to sue Apple over pricing. The man in black shifted uncomfortably in his catbird seat. http://collaboration.cmc.ec.gc.ca/science/rpn/biblio/ddj/Website/articles/DDJ/2007/0706/070501ms02/070501ms02.html

So avoiding work as ever through mindless Googling, I was tickled at how many people have set themselves to parody the great Wallace Stevens poem 'Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird.' (Original here: http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/174503) Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Tortilla (2001) by Aaron Abeyta i. among twenty different tortillas the only thing moving was the mouth of the niño ii. i was of three cultures like a tortilla for which there are three bolios iii. the tortilla grew on the wooden table it was a small part of the earth iv. a house and a tortilla are one a man a woman and a tortilla are one v. i do not know which to prefer the beauty of the red wall or the beauty of the green wall the tortilla fresh or just after vi. tortillas filled the small kitchen with ancient shadows the shadow of Maclovia cooking long ago the tortilla rolled from the shadow the innate roundness vii. o thin viejos of chimayo why do you imagine biscuits do you not see how the tortilla lives with the hands of the women about you viii. i know soft corn and beautiful inescapable sopapillas but i know too that the tortilla has taught me what i know ix. when the tortilla is gone it marks the end of one of many tortillas x. at the sight of tortillas browning on a black comal even the pachucos of española would cry out sharply xi. he rode over new mexico in a pearl low rider once he got a flat in that he mistook the shadow of his spare for a tortilla xii. the abuelitas are moving the tortilla must be baking xiii. it was cinco de mayo all year it was warm and it was going to get warmer the tortilla sat on the frijolito plate http://www.teachmix.com/litartgreen/node/66 Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Pinhead Since Pinhead the Cenobite recently posted a "punctuation lame" in untutored style, making THIRTEEN false allegations of error on my part, I feel the Pin is deserving of this special tribute. I Among twenty sleazy Net trolls, The lowliest of all Is a troll called Pinhead. II I have multiple nightmares, A USENET In which there are thirteen Pinheads. III Pinhead jabbers through his modem. That is a small part of his performance. IV A Rat and a Mutt Are one. A Rat and a Mutt and a Pinhead Are one. V I do not know which is the worst, The libels of Woof Davis, Or Wotan's stupid innuendoes, Pinhead's articles, Or all three. VI Someone filled several newsgroups With idiotic rubbish, I suspect that Pinhead Posted randomly. The Net Finds in Pinhead A cypher and an imbecile. VII O wise folks of USENET, Why do you fault my postings? Do you not see how Pinhead Floods numerous groups With mind-numbing babble? VIII I read the lowly whines And the muddled, nonsensical blather; And I know too, That Pinhead has spewed out That which I read. IX When Pinhead posts on the Net He makes Woof Davis Sound almost intelligent. X At the thought of more trash Posted by Pinhead, Even a strong orangoutang Would screech in agony. XI I looked over the postings In the Kooks' group. Once, a groan escaped me, In that I discerned The lamentable gibberish Of that bore, Pinhead. XII The drivel is flowing. Pinhead must be posting. XIII His trash was all over the Net. It was appalling And it was getting worse. Pinhead sat At his keyboard. https://groups.google.com/forum/#!msg/rec.arts.poems/PaW13SicXBU/MSCg1TnuckQJ Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blogofascist (With Apologies to) Wallace Stevens I Among twenty leftist websites, The only moving thing Was the eye of the blogofascist. II I was of three minds, Like a diary In which there are three blogofascists. III The blogofascist whirled in the autumn winds. It was a small part of the pantomime. IV A man and a woman Are one. A man and a woman and a blogofascist Are one. V I do not know which to prefer, The beauty of inflections Or the beauty of innuendoes, The blogofascist writing Or just after. VI Idiocy filled the long window With barbaric gas. The shadow of the blogofascist Crossed it, to and fro. The mood Traced in the shadow An indecipherable cause. VII O thin men of the right, Why do you imagine golden birds? Do you not see how the blogofascist Walks away with the feet Of the women about you? VIII I know noble accents And lucid, inescapable rhythms; But I know, too, That the blogofascist is involved In what I know. IX When the blogofascist dropped out of sight, It marked the edge Of one of many circles. X At the sight of blogofascists Typing in a green light, Even the bawds of euphony Would cry out sharply. XI Joe rode over Connecticut In a glass coach. Once, a fear pierced him, In that he mistook The shadow of his equipage For blogofascists. XII The river is moving. The blogofascists must be writing. XIII It was evening all afternoon. It was snowing And it was going to snow. The blogofascists sat In the catbird seat. http://www.dailykos.com/story/2006/08/12/236163/-Dedicated-to-Meteor-Blades# Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Finder I Among twenty snowy mountains, The only moving thing Was they eye of the finder. II I was of three lives, Like the tail Of a finder's fee. III The finder's fee whirled in the autum winds. It was a bitter part of the pantomime. IV A rat and a snake Are one. A rat and a snake and a finder Are one. V I do not know which to prefer, The beauty of interested angels, Or the beauty of venture firms tripping over themselves, The finder going into voice mail Or my spam filter. VI Icicles filled the long window With barbaric glass. The shadow of the finder Crossed it, to and fro. The mood Traced in the shadow An unfundable venture. VII O entrepreneurs of Haddam, Why do you imagine no one will fund you? Do you not see how the finder Runs to cut off Investors making their own way to you? VIII I know noble accents And lucid, inescapable rhythms; But I know, too, That the finder is intent In fucking up what I know. IX When the finder fled out of sight, It marked the beginning Of one of many victories. X At the sight of finders Fleeing in the light of dawn, Even the lawyers and other service providers Would cry out sharply. XI He travelled the road show In a glass coach. Once, a fear pierced him, In that he mistook The shadow of his equipage For finders. XII The river is moving. The venture must be finder-free. XIII It was evening all afternoon. It was snowing And it was going to snow. The finder sat Out in the cold. http://www.wac6.com/wac6/2010/06/thirteen-ways-of-looking-at-a-finder.html Thirteen Ways of Looking at an M&M Package I Among dozens of shelves of candies and sweets, The only thing my sight fastened on, Was a bright, red package of m&m’s. II My mind reeled dizzily with pure ecstasy, Like a trapeze artist When he is flinging himself into space. III The m&m package sat between the gumdrops and the twizzlers, It was part of a small plot by the Sugar Calories Brigade. IV A Twix bar and a Whatchamacallit Are one. A Twix bar and a Whatchamacallit and an m&m package Are one. V I do not know which to choose, The craving of jaw-sticking caramel, Or the smooth texture of peanut butter, The melting in your mouth of chocolate m&m’s, Or all three. VI Undecision and confusion jammed my mind With sharp, prickling thoughts. The surface of the m&m package Twinkled up merrily to me. Which made my mind, Still cluttered with the unanswered question, More phased than before. VII O ignorant, deceived people of this world, Why do visions of m&m packages dance in your heads? Do you not see how the m&m package Is filled with 360,000 kilograms of fat, Making you people slaves to them forever? VIII I know of healthy, enriching foods And their help to aid long lives; But I know too, That the m&m package is not In what I know of good food. IX When I left the m&m package, I could see it in my sight, One delicious yet dangerous sweet of many. X At the sight of m&m packages, Glittering in the white light, Even the most held-back people Would cry out in longing. XI A man walked down the candy aisle, In search of the famous favorite, Once a false hope overtook him, In that he mistook, A package of Skittles, For m&m’s. XII If a crowd is ranting and raving, The m&m packages must be sold out. XIII It will be a most saddening say, It will be a most crushing day, The most horrible fate of all, If the m&m packages Ever go away. http://schnickledoogr2.livejournal.com/19867.html ...and finally, from a delightful site called 'Geoffrey Chaucer Hath a Blog': Heere ys a newe poeme from todaye. Yt ys inspired by a verye wondirful adaptacioun of a verye wondirful poeme. XIII Wayes of Regardinge a Litel Woolen Hatte, a poeme by Galfridus Chaucer I Amonge XX busye customes deskes The onlye thinge nat movinge Was my litel woolen hatte II Ich was of three myndes Lyke a haberdassheres stalle On the which do hange III litel woolen hattes III My woolen hatte flewe off yn the wynde, Alack! That hatte was ful wel expensif. IV A gentil and a churl Are one. A gentil and a churl and a litel woolen hatte Are one. V Ich ne knowe nat which to prefer, The beautee of sentence Or the beautee of solaas, The litel woolen hatte being put on Or just aftir. VI Isekeles did fille the greate wyndow Wyth glas rough and ungentil. The shadwe of the woolen hatte Dyd crosse yt, hider and thider. The hattes wearer Traced yn the frost A vers aboute a kankedort. VII O thin men of the Guildhall Wherfor thynke ye upon golden hattes? Marken ye nat how the litel woolen hatte Suited ys ful wel For a cold daye? VIII Ich knowe of noble romaunces And fayre, delitable vers yn heigh style, Yet eke wel Ich knowe That the litel woolen hatte ys woven up Yn what Ich knowe. IX Whanne the litel woolen hatte was loste, Yt marked the beginninge Of anothir chidinge by Philippa. X At the sighte of litel woolen hattes On the heades of tale-telling pilgrims Even John Gower Wolde crye out sharplye. XI He walkid alle arounde London Yn uncomfortable shoon Oones, a great thirste took hym Yn that he mistook The shadwe of hys woolen hatte For a barrel of ale. XII The river ys movinge Let nat the hatte falle off of the syde of the ferryboate. XIII Yt was Aprille alle afternoon And ther felle soote shoures To percen the droghte. The woolen hatte Sat upon myn heade. http://houseoffame.blogspot.com/

From today's Raleigh newspaper. Try lard, the comeback fat, in baked goods and salad dressings By Sylvia Carter Correspondent January 21, 2014 Updated 10 hours ago The News & Observer Croquetas fried in lard, garbanzo beans and pork made with paprika-flavored lard, guava pie and mantecaditos cookies made with lard are on the menu at the Old Havana Sandwich Shop in Durham. CHRIS SEWARD — cseward@newsobserver.com When Roberto Copa Matos was growing up in Ranchuelo, a small town in central Cuba, he went with his grandmother on weekends to the bakery where she worked. He remembers peering into “big tubs of lard, white as snow.” Though the little boy had never seen snow, he knew it would be like that; he had seen photographs. Later, trained as a biochemist, Copa Matos, now 42, understood that many fats break down or “denature” at a high heat, but that lard can best take the heat. So he has put it in his kitchen at his popular Old Havana Sandwich Grill in Durham, where a warning on the menu beneath the irresistible, part-lard cookies reads “not vegetarian.” At the restaurant, he sells quart jars of the pure lard he renders. “I would prefer to eat lard, knowing the source of it, than oil that I don’t know the source of,” Copa Matos said. This creamy lard is light years away from the blocks of additive-laden commercial lard found in grocery stores. Copa Matos renders lard from the fat of pigs raised on pasture and acorns at Green Button Farm in Bahama in northern Durham County, and Parker Family Farms, located in Hurdle Mills in northern Orange County. A few generations ago, everybody cooked with lard from pigs raised the old-fashioned way: foraging for acorns, hickory nuts, wild native persimmons, wild blackberries, wild plums, clover and lespedeza. These swine – from venerable old breeds such as Gloucester Old Spots, Berkshires, Tamworths and Large Blacks with large ears like aps to keep out the mud – lived high on the hog, as the saying goes. They rooted for tree roots and made wallows, delightful to pigs, for cooling off in on hot summer days. The sows arranged nests of vegetation for birthing when they were ready to farrow. When folks went over to hydrogenated fats and “synthetic” oils, it was a “cultural disconnect,” said Asher Wright, the manager of Rock House Farm, nestled in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains in Morganton. Along with an increasing number of small farmers in North Carolina and across the country, Rock House, in Burke County, is raising pigs outdoors instead of in connement, supplementing pasture and trees with such feed as grain and molasses. Meat from these pigs tastes different. And once again, besides pork, such pigs provide lard that, it now turns out, is rich with health benets, said Tara Wind, a registered dietitian at Wake Med Raleigh. “A lot of the rise in animal fats is from consumers becoming more educated,” said Wind. Farmer’s markets helped people learn to eat better, she added. “For so long, people bought in the supermarket, and now they know that so much is synthetic and we’re putting that in our bodies.” Supermarket lard is usually hydrogenated, she pointed out, which makes it more like the synthetic hydrogenated fats. Wind favors eating fat “from animals that were raised on what they’re supposed to be eating,” she said. “The fat in an animal is from an animal’s diet,” and, she said, fat from pigs allowed to forage is higher in omega-3. A grain-fed or feedlot animal, Wind said, “is not as nutritious,” because they are not eating their natural diet. Wind advocates balance. “You also need olive oil and coconut oil,” she said. “Don’t swap out other fats for lard 100 per cent.” (Olive oil does break down at a lower temperature, so it is best for dressing salads or as a grace note to a cooked dish.) Lard is about 45 per cent monounsaturated fat – the more healthful kind – and butter is only about 23 per cent, she said. For decades, the trend was toward pigs so lean they gave little lard to render. Shelf-stable, hydrogenated shortenings, which we now know are saturated fats, took lard’s place in pie crusts and biscuits and in the handed-down cast-iron skillets where chicken and sh were fried. For decades, health-conscious cooks shunned lard. Now, it’s back. “Lard is very high in monounsaturated fat,” points out Shirley Corriher, the Atlanta cooking teacher who used to troubleshoot for Julia Child as well as big food companies. “It has been given a bum rap.” Corriher, who was a research biochemist for Vanderbilt Medical School, is the author of the books “Cookwise” and “Bakewise,” as well as works in scientic journals. In Georgia, Corriher’s grandmother fried chicken in lard, and one version of her beloved, moist “Touch of Grace” biscuits calls for smearing a touch of lard or bacon grease atop each biscuit. The Paleo or “primal” diet that has steadily gained adherents in recent years has been a factor in the lard comeback. Abby Mulchi, a veterinarian in George Hildebrand, near Morganton, uses lard in curries and to saute the meat they use in that diet. “We don’t use store-bought lard,” Mulchi said. “We know Rock House lard is high in omega-3 fatty acids,” considered benecial for keeping cholesterol low. Almost every night, Mulchi makes a bacon-fat vinaigrette for salad, and, she said, “We cook our eggs in bacon fat or lard, and we’ll do fatback, too. My husband puts any excess lard over his eggs in the morning and it helps sustain him and give him really good energy.” Wind, the dietitian, cautioned that if you are using bacon that isn’t from grass-fed animals, unlike Mulchi’s bacon, saving the grease is not a great idea. “Lard is more monounsaturated than saturated,” said Linda Joyce Forristal, a professor in the tourism and hospitality department at Drexel University in Philadelphia, who started Lard Lovers, a band nearly 500 strong of those who celebrate lard, about ve years ago. Forristal says that besides its being a polyunsaturated fat, lard boosts the prot margin of the farmer by making use of something that might otherwise be thrown away. Janice McCarthy, who buys lard through Green Button Farm’s community-supported agriculture share program, said that she has switched to lard, especially for frying, “because it has a much higher smoke point, because many toxins are fat-soluble, and grocery store lard generally contains trans fats.” She buys fatback (see box on different names for pork fat) and renders it herself. Some lard fans say that their beloved fat has a somewhat porcine taste that is too strong, so another Paleo Diet adherent, Susan McCann of Morganton, mixes it with coconut oil. On a recent evening, she sauteed asparagus in that combo. “A few hundred years ago,” McCann, 52, said, “people ate a better ratio of omega 6 to omega 3. We evolved with a ratio of twice as much 6 as 3, so now it is out of balance.” Still, McCann said, “it is hard for people to get past the idea that lard won’t kill them.” “You have to educate people” about lard, agreed Renee Parker of Parker Family Farms. who sells at the Cary Farmers Market and cooks with lard for her own family. Alicia Butler, whose family’s Green Button Farm sells at the South Durham Farmer’s Market, also uses lard in her own cooking. Zarela Martinez, who presided over the Mexican restaurant Zarela in Manhattan for 23 years and authored several cookbooks, wrote on her blog that lard “has oleic acid which helps break down cholesterol the same as olive oil. The trick is that it has to be home-rendered.” Carter is a former food writer and columnist at Newsday on Long Island, N.Y. She can be reached at sylviacarter111@yahoo.com. Mother Linda’s Lard Pie Crust This is slightly adapted from a recipe by “Mother Linda,” who is Linda Joyce Forristal, founder of Lard Lovers, which helps lard lovers locate lard from pastured pigs in their area. The amount of water will depend on the our you use; do not worry, but do add the water a little at a time after the rst 1/2 cup. For more information, visit lardlovers.ning.com. 2 1/2 cups unbleached white or whole wheat pastry our, or a combination 1 teaspoon sea salt 1/2 cup lard, organic or from pastured pigs 1/2 to 3/4 cup cold water, still or sparkling MEASURE our into a medium-sized bowl, add salt and stir. Add lard and use a pastry cutter, a fork or clean ngertips to cut the lard into pea-sized pieces, until the mixture resembles a coarse meal. You can condently add the rst 1/2 cup of water, but continue adding the remaining 1/4 cup of water 1 tablespoon at a time, until the dough comes together. Lightly knead with your hands to make a ball and then divide into 2 equal parts. Do not overwork the dough. RESHAPE each part into a ball and then atten into a disk. Wrap in wax paper or plastic wrap and refrigerate for 30 minutes before rolling out and continuing with your pie recipe. Yield: two 10-inch pie crusts. Roberto Copa Matos’ Mantecaditos The rst part of the word matecaditos is Spanish for lard, and the ending indicates that these irresistible little cookies are small. “I knew what mantecaditos made by my grandmother tasted like,” Capo Matos said, and he changed a recipe until the taste memory became just right. 1 1/2 cups pure lard (not commercial) 1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) unsalted butter 3/4 cup sugar 6 cups unbleached organic all-purpose our 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract 1 (14-ounce) tin guava paste (you will have some left over for the next batch or another use) PREHEAT oven to 350 degrees (325 degrees for a convection oven). In a medium saucepan, melt lard and butter, taking care not to brown or burn it. Remove from heat and let cool for 2 or 3 minutes. Add vanilla. PLACE butter and sugar in bowl and whisk together. Add shortening and vanilla mixture and stir until mixture comes together, working with clean hands at the last, if need be. Form into small balls, about 1.5 ounces each; place on ungreased cookie sheet, and use the heel of your hand to press dough down lightly. (The dough may also be formed into 4 equal cylinders, about 1 1/2 inches in diameter, and refrigerated until you are ready to continue, then cut in top 3/4-inch to 1-inch slides.) CUT guava paste into small cubes. Make a small depression, about the size of a pencil eraser, in the center of each cookie (Roberto uses the end of a knife-sharpening steel to do this.) Fill each with a dot of guava paste. BAKE 10 to 15 minutes in a convection oven, or about 18 to 20 minutes in a conventional oven, until cookies are set and are a light brown color. Remove from oven; at rst, the cookies will be fragile, so do not remove to a cooling rack or space for 5 minutes. Yield: about 70 cookies. Feather Spice Lard Cake There are several Feather Spice Cake recipes on the Internet, but they do not contain lard. This has been in my recipe le box for so long that I am not sure where I got it. 2 eggs, separated 1 1/2 cups sugar, divided 1/3 cup lard 2 1/4 cups sifted cake our 1 teaspoon baking powder 3/4 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon salt 3/4 teaspoon cinnamon 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg or mace 1/4 teaspoon cloves 1 cup plus 2 tablespoons buttermilk, divided BEAT egg whites until frothy. Gradually beat in 1/2 cup of the sugar. Keep beating until very stiff and glossy. STIR lard in another bowl to soften it; cream in 1 cup sugar. Sift together our, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg or mace and cloves. Add dry ingredients with 3/4 cup of the buttermilk. Beat on medium speed for 1 minute, scraping bottom and sides of bowl. ADD remaining buttermilk and the egg yolks. Beat 1 minute, scraping. GENTLY fold in whites mixture. SCRAPE into 2 greased and oured 8-inch-round pans or a 13x9x2-inch pan. Bake in preheated 350-degree oven for 25 to 35 minutes or until a toothpick or cake tester comes out clean. Cool. Fill and frost with seafoam frosting (Seven-Minute Frosting made with brown sugar) or caramel frosting. Yield: 1 cake Lard primer Leaf lard: The highest grade of lard, and most prized, leaf lard is the 6 to 10 pounds of visceral fat per pig that comes from around the kidneys. It is a neutral tasting fat. Leaf lard is also softer than other lard. Though lard can be rendered from any fatty part of a pig, lard from other sections may have a more “porky” avor. Unsalted fatback: Fatback is the layer of subcutaneous fat beneath the skin of the pig’s back and also makes good lard. Salted, or cured, fatback: Fatback with the skin left on is also processed into slab bacon, but then it is salty and “rendering” it only results in bacon grease, which is a desirable seasoning for, say, green beans but not appropriate for pie crust. However, bacon grease can be part of the fat in biscuits, is the best fat for cornbread, and can be used with good results in a spicy cake such as gingerbread, as has been advocated by John Thorne, author of the Simple Cooking newsletter and several books with his wife Matt Lewis Thorne. Lard: When you buy something without knowing whether or not it is leaf lard or fatback, it is probably rendered from unsalted fatback, though sometimes both kidney lard and unsalted fatback may be rendered together. Lardo: In recent times, uncured fatback or leaf lard, cut into thin slivers, has been served on toast and pizza as Italian lardo. Mario Batali was one of the rst chefs to do this in the United States. Streak of Lean: Streak o’ lean, as it is often called, is fatback with some meat still attached, often used as a seasoning. Since the purest lard for use in pie crust and pastry is made without scraps of meat in it, this part of the pork is not suitable for pie crust. Cracklings: These are the crisp bits that are left after rendering pork fat, prized by some, rejected by others. Cracklin’ bread: cornbread made with cracklings. Chicharron: the Spanish term for crisp-fried fatback. MORE LARD RESOURCES How to render lard: Simple directions for rendering lard either using a slow cooker or on the stove are at polyfacehenhouse.com/2009/05/how-to-make-lard/. Tip from Renee Parker of Hurdle Mills: Cut the fat in small pieces to get the most lard out of it. Also, do not be concerned if the rendered lard looks yellow at rst; it will turn white in the fridge as it hardens. • Lard Lovers, a network of resources to help in nding organic and/or sustainable source of lard nationwide, lardlovers.ning.com. To read founder Linda Joyce Forristal’s article “The Rise and Fall of Crisco,” go to motherlindas.com/crisco.htm. • “Lard: The Lost Art of Cooking with Your Grandmother’s Secret Ingredient,” a book by the editors of Grit Magazine, Andrews McMeel Publishing, $24.99, lard lore and recipes, available through Amazon and other booksellers, and on Kindle. Below are some sources of lard from pastured pigs. You may also be able to buy lard through a community-supported agriculture share, and through some other farms. If purchasing lard at farmers markets, order ahead make sure the farmers bring some to the market for you. • Old Havana Sandwich Shop, 310 E. Main St., Durham, 919-667-9525, oldhavanaeats.com. Rendered lard is $8 a quart, before sales tax. Customers are asked to bring the jars back and will receive a free cafe con leche or cafecito (demitasse) as a reward. If they use the lard for frying, the spent lard also can be brought back in the jar; Copa Matos donates it to Carolina Biofuels. • Green Button Farm, 9623 Roxboro Road, Bahama, 919-236-7573, greenbuttonfarm.com, sells lard at the farm store, at South Durham and Raleigh State Farmer’s Markets and sometimes through a CSA. Rendered lard $8 a pound, leaf lard and fat back, $2.50 a pound. (Green Button and a goat cheese purveyor, Prodigal Farm in Rougemont, share a booth in the upper building at the State Farmer’s Market and are changing the joint name on it to Field & Fork.) • Mae Farm Meats, Louisburg, 252-204-8474, maefarmmeats.com, sells in the upper building at the State Farmer’s Market in Raleigh. Rendered lard $6 a pound (usually sold in 24-ounce tubs); leaf lard for making your own, $3 a pound; fresh salted fatback, $4 a pound. • Parker Family Farms, 8015 Tilley Road, Hurdle Mills, 919-732-6366, parkerfarms.com, sells at Cary Farmers Market and at the farm, $4 for leaf lard, $2.50 for unsalted fatback for use in rendering. http://www.newsobserver.com/2014/01/21/3552428/lard-the-comeback-fat.html#storylink=cpy

Help Your Child Be Funny Without Poopy Jokes

Sorry about that, Chief. Of course the offset in electric or gas savings from not running the big oven. Plus that appliance's fight against the air conditioning in summer.

Want to be worth more dead than alive? http://www.npr.org/2014/01/19/263128098/swiss-company-compresses-cremation-ashes-into-diamonds?utm_content=socialflow&utm_campaign=nprfacebook&utm_source=npr&utm_medium=facebook

Really see no way to improve on what's already hinted at here! ...sort of like science fiction maestro Stanislaw Lem's book A Perfect Vacuum, which consists of Lem's fictitious "reviews" of nonexisting books. He said he adopted that format in order to explore the ideas in all the "reviewed" works without the labor of actually having to write them out in full. Still...

Another "trick" for reheating small portions without the soggies or other pathologies of microwaving is to get a countertop convection oven. I bought the $45 Black & Decker model pictured below a few months ago, and it easily handles 4 out of every 5 things I would previously have heated up the big oven for, or else put into the microwave with less than yummy outcome. Not only reheating, but baking/roasting of any fish, fowl or meat that will fit. It is high and deep enough to accommodate a medium-size whole chicken, boned leg of lamb, big salmon fillet, etc. Bakes cake well too, no hot spots -- not something I expected. Broils pretty nicely also. And toasts of course. Be careful to avoid some models, such as KitchenAid's current countertop convection oven model. I used to swear by all things KitchenAid but last year bought one of those, found it was no good at all, promptly returned for refund. Afterward I Googled for consumer reviews of same, and found many posts accurately reporting that model's "floppy toast" and other shortcomings. From that I learned the general habit of glancing at online consumer reviews before buying something. If 8 of 10 register the same complaint, there is likely good reason.

Great techniques! They forgot only my ex's step 1: Rinse with Clorox. "This isn't too old to eat, is it?"