EscortJamahl

Porn stars do also, but they can be ackowledge for passing, and so can a client. I'm just making a reference. Now...this particular client was active on Facebook and had a couple other sexy Black men he followed, and was a single man...so he was relatively open. Obviously if it was a married closeted person, it may not be appropriate. But I agree, a separate forum would be nice to have. Had I not had him on my Facebook, I might have not known he passed. And this was someone I spoke to nearly every day at one point, who really supported my business.

@caeron thanks for the input. I can agree its not always justifiable to get upset over limitations that others have. And yes, I think I am going a little crazy because the way things are now in how people schedule continues to become more and more like meeting people on Grindr. The whole NOW, NOW, NOW mentality followed by ME, ME, ME and WHEN I WANT IT. It's driving sex workers insane. You're absolutely right. However, I don't think there's anything wrong with "lecturing" someone on how one wants to have a visit scheduled (not that it is intended to be a lecture). When you mention that I'm putting too much of myself into it, you then say you don't care whether the escort in inconvenienced when you contact them. You mentioned (I) several times in your post. So, wouldn't you agree that when it comes down to it, there is a (me) factor involved, perhaps on both sides? If you don't consider whether the escort's time is convenient and available when you contact them, it would seem to me that you aren't necessarily interested in having a quality encounter with that particular escort? I've come to learn as well, with many guys it's not just a personal limitation they have. For some of them, I feel it's a power trip. They WANT us to drop what we are doing for them, and rush over last minute. They think with their dicks and asses, and feel we are less than, and I pick that up in your tone. Oftentimes, only to be told no when trying to work out a time. With this particular client, he even TOLD ME that we can start between 1:30 and 3 pm. When I said 3 pm, he tells me THAT MIGHT BE TO LATE. That's why I didn't go. Don't tell me a time is okay, but then say it's not when you're doing it last minute. My ad was up for days/weeks prior to arriving. Most of these "I'll only call you when I have a narrow window of time" guys rarely become regulars. They contact back about 2-3 times after that first time, but never get another appointment because they can't be bothered to give enough notice or time. And I'm not talking 5 days notice, but like 2 hours. And they can't wait! Other times, they'll book last minute and then not respond when I reply I am available. Once again, a power trip. Or lack of integrity. I can't be bothered. I don't mind taking a last minute appointment from someone the 1st time. Shit happens. Dicks get hard, asses get wet, mouths get hungry. But I don't like when a client gets in the habit of doing it though. Once you know I'm a good guy, it's time to start being able to plan. All that jumping up last minute pattern shows a lack of respect, integrity and maturity on the part of the client. I'm not a bathhouse that you can just walk into when you're horny. I am an independent, 1 man operation. People need to re-fresh what all that entails in 2019. Just because there's dozens of profiles on Rentmen and our pics look like we're sitting around vegetating in endless, yearning libido...that doesn't make it similar to walking into a Midtowme Spa brimming with men who are insta-vailable. No, we all have private lives to manage, in addition to trying to serve clients in person and juggle all the incoming messages we receive. It's time to rehash the resposibilties we have. I think once clients are educated on that, they'll begin to understand.

That's the concept I don't like. Each time a client does that, I feel they're betting their chance of seeing me based on how badly I may need the money...which is exploitative and controlling. That particular day I didn't need the money badly, but that doesn't mean that by the end of the week, I wouldn't of had use of the money. I reached out to him today again to confirm, and as predicted he sends me some sorry, jive time message about how he couldn't get away from his work schedule, and that he's leaving out of town tomorrow. I told him straight up that is not courteous at all to expect ME to drop what I'm doing to see him, but yet when I am available to meet, and in a hotel, HE can't drop his schedule to see me. I also said if he wants me to host next time, he needs to pay for the place to host. Just like my client tomorrow, he couldn't host...so he's paid for me an entire night stay at the Hilton to see me for a couple hours, versus me having to come out of pocket. Going into 2019, I'm not dealing with the disrespect from clients. Soon as they try to get me into a pattern of last minute demands, followed by being unavailable during the times I am available for them, they're getting cut off. I don't have time for it. It's like once you set a pattern of disregard for your time, they expect it EVERY time.

Yes, and did it twice when I was 16 and 17. Now can you stop with the alternative career suggestions? That has nothing to do with the topic at hand.

The ones I'm referring to are those who contact always at the last minute, with a narrow window of time to meet. I may be in the middle of something at the moment, but the client can only meet this day or time and turning it down may lead to days or weeks before they can make another appointment. This describes a client who contacted me over 2 months ago (he greeted me saying a month ago, which goes to show lack of planning) . The first time he messaged me, it was last minute in the afternoon. Starting with "any chance" and giving me a two hour window to meet. Now, I didn't mind doing it, but I had just moved to town the night before, and had to drop what I was doing to run out and see him. It worked out, but I had to stop what I was doing, maneuver around, and then return back to what I was doing earlier. Fast forward two months later, exact same scenario. I had just arrived back to town the night before, he calls last minute (even admitting it was very last minute), with a 2 hour window of time to meet. This time, I had thought about it...but eventually told him no I couldn't meet on such short notice as he wanted me to host, which requires me to stop what I'm doing, get a hotel and then stay there all night...considering my drive to town is 60 miles. He said he would try back Thursday (today). Now, I was courteous enough to contact him yesterday to confirm. No response. And nothing so far today. At this point, I'm considering waiting until the next time he contacts me and tell him I won't be seeing him again, because he doesn't respect my time. It tends to bother me when clients expect me to drop everything and be inconvenienced for them, but when I'm actually available and let them know...it's the wrong time for them. They don't want to be inconvenienced, but I have to. Well who is running the business here? I write my hours, they don't write my hours. It's like they're trying to run me and boss me around, versus them having the courtesy to meet me when I am in the position to take on a client. Some of them seem to want to catch us off guard, and don't see how inappropriate it comes off. If someone's schedule is so hectic, or they can't plan in advance because of whatever 1,000 reasons...then perhaps it's better to not keep them as a client unless my situation allows for such chance encounters.

I was disheartened to learn last week that a long time client (and business partner) passed away unexpectantly on December 3rd. Not sure if it would be appropriate to link to the obituary site, but his name on Rentmen was HunkyBunky. At one point I thought he was Marylander on the DRs site, but we had a conversation that confirmed it wasn't him. So, wanting to have a moment of reverence in Memory.

I could list a hundred reasons why, but 2 of them are that Grindr does not work for me when it comes to getting clients (in fact my latest attempts have ended with one saying there's "100s of guys like me in Orlando who all give it away for free", and the other in Nashville hitting me up with a line in his ad that said "if you're looking for generous, I suggest finding a job"). So for that reason, I don't use Grindr for work, regardless of how many people say they have found stuff on there. Also I tend to use it for personal endeavors. I also don't like to keep having to check on an app constantly, I prefer my number up. On the flip side, I did have a client the other day reach out to me on Grindr...but initially seen my ad elsewhere.

I thought the new a4a platform would mean a drop off for my ad, but it's actually a good improvement. I know some people don't like it, but it only takes a couple weeks to get the hang of it. It's much better than the 90s style platform they were using for years. I'm finding I can breeze thru messages faster now, and have even picked up a few extra clients from it, which means it's functioning. We can also show full stats in our profile, previously a4a took out all of our sexual stats, and wouldn't let post XXX pics on avatar. I told a friend of mine who misses craigslist for hookups, that whole anonymous 1 liner, crap platform days are history now. With these apps, sites are trying to stay more app friendly, and use interesting emojis to stay relevant. Also a4a stuck to their same platform, they didn't mad e a huge change like other websites which doesn't work too well. Im on it: JarrodBrandonXxx

I don't notice more African Americans being uncut. But I do notice most Latinos are. I think it's more coincidence than anything. I'm sure there probably are more cut white guys based on religion/culture (the bible speaks of the need for circumcision (though that was mostly Old Testament law), and America was founded on Christian values), but there's also likely more white gay guys, and more gay white guys in nude situations. So when you do come across a few black ones that is uncut, versus the few that aren't, you think oh wow...there's lots of uncut black dudes.

Since my 31st birthday passed earlier this month, I've been self assesing my place in my 10 years as an escort. This seems to stem from a variety of things, including a general void of support from the people around me...which I'm looking to change. I have some friends who don't even consider what I do a job, and regularly voice it. Those people I've already began eliminating from life, as having never been in the business, they can't offer much constructive to say. When I have a bad day, instead of suggesting traveling together or doing a new photo session, or selling my private gallery, they suggest I look into other "jobs". From coming into 30 last year, I've developed more client relationships than at any other time in my career, and it's only getting better from here. But I still feel like I could be doing better, nor have I done enough. At the same time, the desire to get into porn during my career to boost my prescense, was never a consideration that crossed my mind for me. I wasn't ever against it, but I didn't have that desire. I thought by taking professional nude pics throughout the year, traveling all over, having sex professionally and advertising across all the sites was plenty exposure and stepping out my comfort zone. I joined Twitter over 4 years ago, but it wasn't up until last year that I really started utilizing it. Over the past couple of weeks, I've been hooked on the Twitter feeds. I've come to realize that unless you're an aspiring "porn celebrity", getting a "name" in the sex industry as solely an escort seems to be a true strength. Fortunately, reviews are a clear statement of my reputation. On the other hand, what if an escort does not desire to do porn or engage social media? I enjoy an occasional look see on twitter, but I'm seeing many providers out here are aiming for this image of being a porno superstar, and a lot of it is bareback. That's not to be judgemental, but I like the idea of being a low-key provider who's just GOOD at what he does. Each time I open my Twitter feed (or my a4a account), I feel compelled to try out for porn. But deep down, I don't feel I would feel right doing it to boost my career. I just want to be the guy next door who gets recognition, but not mainly because I have an array of videos with me fucking various guys raw on the Internet (again not passing judgment, as those guys have their place, but it's not for everyone). Do clients still appreciate that model of business? Or has the idea of online porn superstar become the key marketing edge for today's escorts getting their name recognized?

Thanks, I see its back up...but still no luck getting my ad up. It's frustrating. I mean, the site wasn't the greatest but still had some calls from there occasionally. Will be putting my own back up soon.

As someone who was school-aged when the Backstreet and N-Sync and Ricky Martin were dishing out hits, it would have been great if they had came out back then. However, whether or not it would have done any justice or difference I don't know. The Black kids always made fun of N-sYNC and Ricky and all them as being gay..then again.even the football White jocks considered them "gay" too. I think them coming out gay "at that time" may have furthered the stereotypes. But at the same time, maybe it would have spared the average looking guy having to hear every girl go cuckoo, and feeling like less of a human for not being as cute as Ricky Martin and A Carter and etc. At the same time, things were different so it's better late than never. As accurately as middle and high school kids seem to suss out who's gay, they sure are an intolerant bunch for when someone actually is gay. But then again come to think about it...it actually seems they are only intolerant and make fun of guys who are bi or struggling to come out the closet. That's why for me, in college I decided to come right out as gay whenever the classroom introductions started. That kills people's fun right then and there. No guessing games, no poking fun. Even just pretending to be asexual doesn't work. You have to either be talking about fucking women or you're gay.

So the other day I went to once again try and update my ad...and as of the last 1.5 years, it did not work. My ad was frozen in time, unable to moved. Well, today I decide to go onto my laptop and use different browsers. To no avail. Now its simply saying 502 bad gateway. Are there any techies here who can verify whether this is an official closure?

So Birmingham Alabama has 2 rentmen escorts. New York has a whopping 642. Far exceeding the amount rentboy ever held (though I think that may include traveling escorts, or guys like myself who just place standing travel ads in the area). Likewise, there's 12 escorts in Milwaukee, 142 in Chicago. 6 escorts in Raliegh, NC. 194 in San Francisco. Why do such relatively large cities lag behind other relatively large cities?

I've had that happen, more than once and learned my lesson. And Ha, it's in Colorado too...Exactly where I had a similar incident some years ago. Usually what happens is said gay friend bosses up or acts obnoxious in some way toward strangers or other patrons, which provokes an argument. They may not be the aggressors or the initial ones to start it, but usually don't shut up or just walk away. Oftentimes (a guy like JCK) ends up being in the vicinity when drunk gay friend acts up, causing them to (unintendendly) get involved. Fight breaks out, cops show up, innocent friend (JCK) ends up getting arrested when in reality the gay friend and the bullies should have been the ones arrested. But, based on this thing called "probable cause", police like to make the easiest arrest possible by going after whoever is Caught in the act of defense, regardless of whom instigated it. So nowadays, I tell my gay friends to never get me involved in their gay drama or pretend I'm their bodyguard out in public while they're drunk, so they can get feisty and expect me to jump in. No. Fight your own battles. Because you're not going to end up getting me arrested. Generally, if it's truly a case of self defense or the person was simply a 3rd party, his case should get dismissed in court. But, not after the whole befriending a lawyer, feeling scared for months and wasting 3-4 mornings in arraignments and retrials and pretrials for such nonsense. I wouldn't doubt that Kennedy and the gay friend be friends for much longer.... No physical contact occurred between the men and Conor Kennedy’s gay friend, Robert Kennedy said, terming the incident “menacing.”

Ok well regarding the professional relationship with genuine, ummmm, condescending much? I don't want your sorrow, that's what Jameson and Belvedere is for. I have had genuine and professional relationships more than I would bargain for. I spent an extra hour chatting with a client today about such matters. He was quite surprised that I actually do enjoy sex with clients, versus someone he described as "punching in a clock". sometimes to where I almost have to pretend I don't like it "too much" because then it'd be like might as well do it for free. As far the specific person you are referring to, I wasn't so much as to referring to him but rather some of the other guys you mentioned. Different person in a different market so I can't really say one way or another. But you made it seem like all those guys are getting by soley on backpage. If the escort you mentioned is solely using craigslist, I'm very curious to know how because although I use it from time to time in different cities and locally, I tend to get burnt out on it after a few days because of whether being flagged, or having to answer so many emails from people you have to carry on back and forth before, or people who just don't call or either can't afford the rate or don't pay pay at all. I mean, if I forwarded to you the majority type of email responses from CL, you'd want to cry for me. Also, it's next to never that a CL client books a long session or becomes a long term regular, based on the numerous cities I've used it. I've met lots of clients from it, don't get me wrong...but it's more supplemental than staple. Now, if I'm wrong...then maybe if I charged $50 for my services, I'd get more from it. But I'm not convinced that would make a difference. The only place I know of to advertise on CL is the casual encounters/m4m, because erotic has been removed.

Well that's certainly food for thought regarding backpage. However, though Adam's advice sounds solid and well-intentioned...many escorts/clients have differing or mixed opinions about it. Also, I don't believe everything I hear and neither should you. A have a nice place too. But nobody knows the full story. Nor am I compelled to tell. I can say, yup...all from backpage and someone will believe it. You don't know what they're doing behind the scenes. I highly doubt anyone is making a full living from backpage alone. It's just not that consistent of a site. I was dating a guy who used to advertise solely on Adam doing massages. Just massages. In Denver. He was definitely getting money from other sources to afford it because no way in hell can you live off Adam in Denver, and he didn't even travel. Though I've met more good clients than bad from backpage, the average call volume can vary from slightly annoying to downright disrespectful. Adam4Adam is about the same. Although I've found adam4adam to conjure up more dangerous and swindling types than backpage. Atleast backpage clients usually want to pay. But Adam is more consistent across the board. In some states, backpage doesn't have the traffic that Adam does. However, I've cut down on the gross negligence of my time by maintaining specific verbatim to deter would be nerve graters. And surprisingly, the more cutthroat I am in my ad, the more the guys respect and wait. One guy waited for an hour because he called at the last minute and arrived before I got to my house. But he acknowledged he called last minute and I needed time to finish my shopping (had he called just 30 minutes earlier I'd of been closer to my house) so there was no confusion or upset. Such a sweet guy he was. This is going off topic, but for the rest of the year and into 2017, I'm cutting out a lot of the nonsense going into 30. I've allowed too much. And I'm not going to be bashful about making it clear in my ads. In this Grindr culture, if you don't command respect for your time, you won't get it.

You know what they say about guys with Big Hands; they can pull out a Big....wad of cash. I just got an instant hard on... ...but it could also be expressionism for the way many guys have been lately: tight wads

That black and white gif is an episode from the twilight zone, which is why I "liked it" That was kinda scary episode lol. Anyhow, as far as the main topic...JD this is unfortunate. However, my hat goes off to you because I wouldn't ever be able to take 2 appointments prior to 9 am, and 5:30 am...well, that's about 2 hours after my bedtime on a late, late night. That's a bit too much scheduling so early in the morning. I would be the one to oversleep, until NOON lol. But I'm just not a functional working morning person, unless I'm working in bed I think in this situation, the times with the other clients were set too closely. If regular 1 was already booked at 530, then the 6 and 8 am clients could have been moved further out. That way, just in case regular 1 cancelled, you'd had some buffer time. It should have never came down to a racial standoff, but with clients....we just can't allow things to get to a point of no return. I can be a bit off the mic here, but in reality I know at any moment a client can go from 0 to 100 real quick and past relationships with friends, strangers and clients have taught me that anyone can resort to racial, sexual, financial, or physical put downs in a blink of an eye. One of my best friends used to occasionally call me the N word in a drunken argument. Then once or twice even sober. And then not remember it the next day. However, til this day we remain good friends and even having taken time apart, our bond grew stronger. BUT, the boundaries on my end have also gotten stronger. In your case, taking the money upfront and doing a contract kind of set too much leverage and commitment on both parties. It's like you both were obligated before the booking even took place. He felt he could cancel, you felt the money is owed. In a court of law, it's likely he wouldn't be entitled to a refund depending on the agreement...however with the situation it's likely he could file in small claims and a southern judge probably would be quite conservative. I would find a way to give the money back in this scenario. This is def. not the type of situation anyone would want to have with a regular. But, I've learned sometimes with clients even when they cancel, you almost have to suck it up and then bring it up next time. Especially if they are a good regular. I mainly only blacklist new customers I've never seen before if they set me up after I've got a hotel out of town or something. I know it's business and I'd be pissed too, but though it's business, we also deal with married men...and in my personal life I'd never ever have any dealings with a married man because their family business will trump our business at any moment. Most married men could vanish without a trace of they cut off "the life". More of a when, not an if.

Well I'm aiming for next week. Should I bring a dish from Nashville?

Just a thought.... I've finally been having a good past week or so in Nashville after going thru a drought season of sorts, and not just weather wise. All the once a year/every few years hires are coming out the woodwork. Hopefully some regulars come from it because as of now I'm only working with a couple. However, every appointment I've had has been same day...oftentimes with an hour or 2 notice. I've realized I did need to convey a more I don't take any bullshit stance in my ads. Specifically, as it relates...I've made it clear in all my ads that I need atleast 1 or 2 hour's notice. I feel an Hour for incall, two hours for outcalls is necessary for me. Occasionally I could swing it faster if I'm at my place, but that gives me time if I'm out and about, to get home, secure the place, maybe even eat beforhand. If I don't spell it out, it goes unbeknownst. Thats been handled, but the main thing that still exists...I don't have any pre scheduled appointments. I mean, on the one hand it's great I can make 1,000 Unexpectantly. But on the other hand I'm pacing because I can't foresee when my next appointment is or what day exactly I want to leave out of town. I still get some stuff for advanced, but usually bookmarky type things. I'm talking about like someone want to book me for 3-4 hours. I wonder if it's because (as was mentioned elsewhere) escorts have burnt clients out. One client was telling me how he'd set an advanced booking with an escort last week, confirmed that week, and then the guy still no showed on him. Seems the days of booking 2-3 days ahead, planning finances accordingly seem to have been replaced by this microwaveable Grindr culture. It's more like step by step, day by day, fresh start over, a different hand to play...

Actually before I opt out...I might as well discuss this topic. Might as well Kill 2 issue in 1 thread. Its actually pretty imaginable. I think it's more unimaginable than even I can imagine. Because ignorance is bliss. Awhile ago, a client referred me to check out a working lady's website and get in touch with her to help with my marketing (though it's a work in progress, my marketing has got me by for the last 6-7 years. Maybe not the best, but considering that I'm usually the only 1 or 2 consistent advertising black escort in most markets...it's got to say something). Anyhow, after having reviewed her website...I figured I'd contact her because she's local. However, one could only book thru email. Just as I was about to message, I seen in her ad that she DOES NOT SEE: Black, Middle Eastern, or Indian men. Granted she may have only been referring to clients and it's fairly common to see that in female escort ads...nevertheless, I declined to reach out to her. Hell, I could have been Shemar Moore or Idris Elba or Ben Carson for all she knows. I'm curious as to what kind of message does that send to White clients? Unless she gets too many offers of watching her do a Black guy...which seems to be a popular fetish of choice in the south. That's just one example of exclusion. Imagine how much more are lurking out there. And one can't compare it to anyone else. Especially in the gay world. Go to any gay bar that has big screen TVs of sexy photos of dudes or even porn playing. They'll show 20 pictures of a white guy for every 1 picture of a person of color. I think even Asians have an easier entry point than Black guys in the gay community: The San Diego to San Francisco markets are inundated with Asians looking for White arm candy. Ive been to California 5-6 times and have yet to be hired by an Asian...who makes up a large portion of California's population. I've seen White, Latin and Asian models on Andrew Christian's underwear line, but not sure I've seen any Black guys. That's why I harbored some resentment with Ray D, whom I respected him as an porn actor/entertainer, and whom is into Black men. He couldnt feel the empathy of the differences therein exist. Most guys just have no idea the things we notice and have to contend with. Why are we excluded? They'll just say, "get over it", or my all time favorite invented circa Treyvon Martin: "stop playing the victim". as if that's supposed to make it all better and go away. Earlier this year I had a white guy friend of mine say how snubbed he felt being the only white guy among the patrons at an Atlanta bathhouse. Whether it was just in his head or not, I just laughed, HA...now YOU see how I felt living in Denver all those years.

Guys, this is all gotten to be too much. Its becoming a scandal of exorbitant proportions. The stuff being said is appalling. Mental illness requires a diagnosis from a licensed practitioner, and I don't know who's qualified to make such claims. My recommendation is for us to all come together and pray, let go of resentment, think about the liberties we have, and how far we've come. There's a far darker world out there than the issues of the forum(s). For anyone feeling resentment, I'll advise what I do when I feel things are getting too much: turn it off. There's a power button. It all goes away. I can search 100 miles in every direction and never see anyone from the forum. Personally, and this is just for me and my sanity: I eventually want to relinquish participating and lurking in such message boards in the next 9 months. For personal reasons. The things I'm going thu with the business tends to make the forums an attractive option to discuss topics. Almost always, I end up regretting it. I'm finding it better to just directly speak to the client regarding any issues I have. I know I'm getting off topic here. So in the words of Mark Cuban, "I'm Out."

Great words of encouragement, JD. I know it sometimes comes off (thru the forums) as if I don't enjoy being an escort. But the reason I've stayed for as long as I have is because I naturally enjoy sex and meeting new people, and sticking with the same in kind. Sometimes I don't realize my success, but I also am always striving to be at a place of content higher than where I am. I'm very serious about that. If the right location and connections aren't coming together, I feel strongly about it.I'm just a man offering a service wanting to give the best I can. Like the song by Tank: Girl, I'm only one man Doin' what I can To give you everything you need To be everything that I can be I'm only one man Doin' what I can (Mmm, mmm) To give you everything you need To be everything that I can be (Yeah) In a perfect world I'd suggest that we as gays all in the industry whether client or provider all respect each other and not be so overly harsh and critical of one another. I feel put downs and insults detract from the ability for all of us to be real and honest about the things that go on. Of course, that just isn't the case. And even more of course, it should have no bearing on our view of escorting or how we treat or clients...ditto with how clients treat their escorts. The internet has never been known to be the best form of acceptance or therapy. We also can learn more from clients than just the best piece of furniture to fuck in missionary, or what juices make your cum sweeter From financial tips to relationship advice...clients have a wealth of information that we younger gay guys can really learn from some of our older, more stable adult elders.

Instead of roundhouse kicking someone in the face, I'm going to smile and shake it off like Hillary Clinton, and just say: metaphoric hyperbole. Those who know and met me, know I have no ill will and look forward to meeting my men, both seen and unforeseen. I'll just go ahead and admit, I can say some off the charts nonsense, but its no different than sideline banter on a Sunday afternoon NFL game. I've allowed people to get the best of me on the other site, I'm just looking to share (uplifting) ideas and discuss the drawbacks of the business in a safe and non judgemental environment.