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joizy

Apologies to the Group

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Hey guys,

I want to apologize for engaging with the trolls here.

When I found this forum, I was so excited because not only did I find a place with really good information, it seemed like a place where I could share some of my travel experiences that were not appropriate for Facebook or to share with my friends and family. Imagine my shock when out of the blue, one of the members started harassing me, and another called me names for asking a question (and then there was a sort of pile-up by some of the older members). I never felt so attacked before in my life, even as a gay kid being called names on the way to school. When I was young, I was too scared to fight back, but feeling attacked here, my first impulse was to fight back.

I've since discovered that I can hide people. I wish I could block them altogether, because one in particular, seems obsessed with harassing newer members, especially if they happen to be traveling and having sex. It's really sad.

But I want to apologize for adding to the toxicity. I will no longer engage with the trolls. I'll mostly stick to reading. I am planning a trip to PV in a few weeks and I might share my experiences if I find anything worth sharing. But if I'm called a liar again, that's it. I won't be posting again.

I wish we could all be more supportive of one another. Some forums seem to be worse than others. It seems I stumbled into a forum that is controlled by someone who had a bad experience and now assumes every person here is the same person. I hope he can get some help, and more than anything, I hope he blocks me since my presence disturbs him so much.

We still have a long way to go before we can reach full equality and acceptance globally. Fighting with one another here is not helping our cause in any way. I appreciate those who have been supportive and who have empathized with the negative experience I had here. I'm going to try to focus on the positive. I hope everyone else can do the same. Let's try to shut down the negativity in our community.

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Assuming your sincerity, there is a perfectly reasonable way to deal with unfriendly or unwelcoming members here: contact the board's owner, Oz. From my experience, Oz is a reasonable listener who will have just the right suggestion on how to deal with certain posters. He has always helped me.

This board has changed over time, and it doesn't seem to be the place I originally joined. I miss sharing favorite porn videos. But it still has something to offer. When I see the word "troll," I think of some seriously awful, cancerous people, who were so miserably unhappy. They came here to dominate and make everyone else miserable, too. There seems to be nothing worse than a miserable, aging gay guy, unless, perhaps, you're a miserable lesbian who hates gay guys. 

I no longer visit here often, but it's been a long time since I've seen what I would call a TROLL. If you want a taste of the shit-stained behavior I've endured, I'm sure you can find some nasty turds clogging The Sandbox.

Truthfully, the best way to deal with a troll is to ignore him. Trolls HATE to be ignored. I realize this is a difficult ask. This is supposed to be a "community," and ignoring a troll is like ignoring an asshole roommate: very hard to do when he's sharing your bed. But, unless the troll is hell-bent on forcing you off the board, in which case I would contact Oz, it's best to develop a thicker skin or learn how to engage with smarter troll tactics. Some queens do find these cheap, bitchy battles entertaining. 

Good luck!

 

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3 hours ago, RockHardNYC said:

Assuming your sincerity, there is a perfectly reasonable way to deal with unfriendly or unwelcoming members here: contact the board's owner, Oz. From my experience, Oz is a reasonable listener who will have just the right suggestion on how to deal with certain posters. He has always helped me.

This board has changed over time, and it doesn't seem to be the place I originally joined. I miss sharing favorite porn videos. But it still has something to offer. When I see the word "troll," I think of some seriously awful, cancerous people, who were so miserably unhappy. They came here to dominate and make everyone else miserable, too. There seems to be nothing worse than a miserable, aging gay guy, unless, perhaps, you're a miserable lesbian who hates gay guys. 

I no longer visit here often, but it's been a long time since I've seen what I would call a TROLL. If you want a taste of the shit-stained behavior I've endured, I'm sure you can find some nasty turds clogging The Sandbox.

Truthfully, the best way to deal with a troll is to ignore him. Trolls HATE to be ignored. I realize this is a difficult ask. This is supposed to be a "community," and ignoring a troll is like ignoring an asshole roommate: very hard to do when he's sharing your bed. But, unless the troll is hell-bent on forcing you off the board, in which case I would contact Oz, it's best to develop a thicker skin or learn how to engage with smarter troll tactics. Some queens do find these cheap, bitchy battles entertaining. 

Good luck!

 

Thank you. I really appreciate your advice and understanding. I had no idea what I was stepping into. It was like jumping into a shark tank when I was expecting to be swimming with dolphins. I just learned how to hide people, and hopefully that will solve the problem, though I must admit, I'm really shaken by my experience here.

 

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