MsGuy

More accurately stated: I would be a prostitute if only I could find someone to pay me.

Oooo...talk about an awkward faux pas.

Well, I changed my mind! I was planning to rely on lookin to handle all that tech. I'm more a 'Big Picture' type of guy, "Off with their heads" and that kind of stuff.

As you no doubt recall, Mr. Lookin, we have had this discussion before... And the last time you left me standing forlorn at the altar. Should I notify the headsman that he's being recalled from layoff? Or are you going to leave me sobbing amidst my broken dreams of power again? ---- And since you've already brought up this painful matter, I don't remember ever receiving your reimbursement check for those expensive shoes I bought. It's not like I could just re-purpose them for some other event and Hito never made me a firm offer.

Actually, lookin, Aqaba has decent internet service these days. It's got a Hilton and a McDonalds too.

OK, I'm not down with a water board. Other than that I'm open to suggestions.

Hmmm....was there a neon sign hanging out front (cause that sounds suspiciously like a boy bar to me)? All you'd need to add would be to call the manager 'Mama san' and charge off fees for the boys.

BTW, what kind of pest infected hell hole are you traipsing off to now? The only large swath of land w/o internet access these days is equatorial Africa (can you say "EBOLA"?). Are you fulfilling some kind of vow to your mother to come to Jesus and go on a mission trip for the SBC? I mean, WTF man, do you realize that any place w/o internet probably doesn't have air-conditioning either? Somehow I just can't picture you sleeping under mosquito netting. Jeez and you thought Air India was bad.

Oz, to quote your own inimitable self: "ARE YOU INSANE?" ---- Hmmm...what about asking deej to mod for a while? I mean just until you get someone permanent trained up. He's got a lot of experience. Or what about pairing deej with Hito? If you could find some way to average them out, they'd make a pretty good mod.

HA! I was right!

AdamSmith, you have outdone yourself with this one. Clearly a 1st ballot Hall of Infamy post. (5 to 2 odds that even Lucky got a giggle out of this one.)

The kudos go to the most excellent Lookin, our very own Mark Twain of posting. Lookin sets a high standard for us all.

"If AS is clever (but wishes he were pretty) and Draker is pretty (but wishes he were clever)", what's the word for that? "ethnosocioeconomic" Nope, doesn't seem to fit. AS, I'm still waiting. Feel free to jump in any time.

AS may have been making a subtle indirect comment on the OP. Or maybe on the FBI. Or Histovski's explanation, Alternatively, he may have just been suffering from a brain fart. With AS, sometimes it's hard to tell. ----- My question is how the hell one would determine the incidence of Flatulence in 1865?

See you think I was joking but that was one of my favorite foods back when. The proper technique is to crack open fluffy oven hot biscuits and stuff in a slab of salted butter to melt into a pool of yellow goodness cupped inside the biscuit (mostly). Scoop up the syrup being careful not to spill the butter & to include an appropriate amount of both karo and molasses. Cram into mouth, chew into gummy mess, swallow, repeat. Four or five good sized biscuits make a decent serving. Now fat back (salt pork) I didn't particularly care for except as a flavoring ingredient for collards and string beans. My grandfather loved the stuff but it was too greasy and too rubbery for my taste.

Try a puddle of light Karo (for the sugar bomb) and swirl in some molasses (for flavor). Sop it all up with biscuits dripping with real butter. Now that was good eats when I was a kid. Especially that last little bit that was a thick mixture of syrup, butter & biscuit crumbles.

Hahahahaha...on careful rereading, I have to concede that you did not.

Sucky, what on earth makes you think that our sweet Hito would give up a primo pair of loafers just to get laid?

FWIW, that's Naruto pictured above, a brash blond ninja trainee with a full speed ahead, damn the torpedoes personality and a two tailed fox demon magically bound up inside him. ____ [ AS: Every boy has his price. ] You might want to tread carefully there, AS. Naruto is the type that would bite your dingus right off if it were presented in the wrong circumstances. Besides, fan fiction almost always links him romantically with Sasuke, his BFF & chief rival.

Nope, not only do I not know the word, I'm not even sure that such a word exists. I do however think it's a reasonable supposition that what with tens of thousands of English Lit grad students desperately searching over the decades through ever more frivolous topics for something, anything, new to write a thesis on, someone, somewhere, has coined a word that covers the question. All you have to do, AS, is find it.

Keep trying, AS. Third times the charm.

Ain't no fucking way I'm gonna click on the play button until somebody assures me it ain't what it claims to be.

I've given the matter some thought and have tentatively decided that there's way too much ambiguity in the way the question was phrased. I'm working on rewording it to reduce the range of interpretations embedded in its present form. Try this one: AS, if you're clever (but wish you were pretty) and Draker is pretty (but wishes he were clever), what's the word for that? I know, I know, narrowing the range of interpretation so sharply takes all the poetry (& most of the punch) out of the quote, but it's the best my poor prose oriented brain can come up with right now.

I was watching some PBS program on animal sex late last night. It featured a short chubby lady biologist tugging about 4 feet of penis from a dead beached whale's body and wrapping it around her waist. Yeah, I know....Ewww!