mima_bk

I doubt if it is of much interest to anyone, but after posting on this Board and its predecessor gaythailand.com for 20 years, it is time to call it a day. For my first 13 years I wrote so much about the gay venues in Bangkok – and several other Thai cities – as like many on this Board sex was a major interest. But far from my only one, as those who have criticised my longer posts know only too well. I have posted a large number of photo essays of the trips I have made, both within Thailand – as for example the amazing Ubon Ratchathani Candle Festival, the equally fascinating Dansai Ghost Festival and the gorgeous beach at Khao Lak as well as the trips one can make from there. Photo essays have included a host of countries near Thailand like Nepal, Bhutan, several from Japan, and further afield like the Iguazu Falls, Patagonia, the Arctic Circle, Talinn, Petra, Iran, New Zealand, several on Taiwan and quite a few more.
Having been partnered for six years now and with no desire to visit my old gay haunts in Thailand like my partner, I restrict myself to occasional gay posts about Taipei and perhaps a couple of other cities outside Thailand. I no longer fit in with the interests of most Thailand posters. My curiosity about Japan where I lived for some years and other Asian countries is now almost totally restricted to my own interest in history, culture and society which really demand longer posts which some posters just do not like. Fair enough! This is not a blog site.
Let me add this is not a sudden decision. After thinking about it for several months, about ten weeks ago I wrote to inform @TotallyOz whom I met a couple of times in our go-go bar visiting days. I thanked him for running this Board and letting me contribute regularly all this time. Long may the Board continue.

lol. I guess I must be the adventuresome type of person.  Either that, or some might say I live in a state of sheer stupidity.  You are 100% correct.  I have never been to Cambodia.  In fact, until I met Cam, Cambodia was never even on my radar other than knowing it was a country in Southeast Asia that borders Thailand, Laos and Vietnam.  I was in high school during the Vietnam War and vaguely recall news stories about the bombing of Cambodia by America, but never really knew much about the country other than that until I met Cam.  To my knowledge, I have never met anyone from Cambodia until meeting Cam.  I have since met some of his friends, all of whom are Cambodian.  Of course, the friends are all located in Bangkok, so that will not be very useful if we are in Battambang, Cambodia.  I have been trying to educate myself as much as possible about the culture and the history.  There are a number of good documentaries available that provide a historical perspective from different viewpoints.  Several books were recommended to me by forum members as well, which I ordered from amazon.com and they were waiting for me when I returned from Bangkok.  I have finished two of the four books and am about halfway through the third one.  Basically, it’s like cramming for an exam.  Never tried Khmer food.  In fact, I have tried to locate a restaurant in the Denver area that specializes in Khmer cuisine to no avail.  There is one place that is located inside a bar that has a fusion menu of different Southeast Asian and American foods combined.  Not very authentic.  There are some Cambodian restaurants in California, but nothing I ever tried when living there.  I have downloaded an app on my phone and am attempting to learn the language…or at least a few important phrases for my first visit there.  While I am looking forward to reuniting with Cam on my upcoming trip in September, I would say this trip is also a fact-finding mission to see if this is something I can really do at this stage in my life.
When I moved to California more than 35 years ago, I only knew one other person.  That move was never planned but an accident.  The one person I knew was a friend who was transferred by his company from Atlanta to San Francisco.  He recruited a number of his friends to help with the move.  I was one of those friends.  I drove the U-Haul truck across country that contained all of his belongings as well as his dog beside me in the cab of the truck.  My plan was to spend a few extra days sightseeing and then fly home. My friend had paid for the plane ticket in exchange for helping with the move.   I discovered that I really liked California and the idea of living there.  I gave myself one week to see if I could find a job…and the rest is history.  Before meeting my ex-boyfriend, I knew nothing about Taiwan nor had ever visited the country.  We even lived there for more than a year because of visa issues he had in the US.  I thoroughly enjoyed that time and would look forward to our annual trips to visit his family during the ten years we were together.  I didn’t know anyone there, knew little about the history or culture of the country, but managed quite well.  I even took classes at a local university to learn the language.  Yes, the move to Denver from San Jose was to be closer to my family…more specifically to my nephews.  After my parents retired, they moved to Florida and as they got older both had health issues.  When things got really bad, both me and my sister made multiple trips back and forth to Florida dealing with the various problems.  It was challenging for us both to deal with these things long distance.  Since I never had children, as I get older the burden of caring for me will fall to my nephews.  In fact, the younger nephew is one of the persons named legally in documents if anything ever did happen to me and I was unable to make decisions or take care of myself.  I did not know a single person other than family when I moved to Denver.  I had never been to Denver before.  But I made the move so that my nephews would not be put through the same ordeal as me and my sister with our parents.  Moving to a place totally foreign to me and not knowing anyone seems to be a pattern most of my life.
Do I have some concerns…of course…but you don’t know until you try.  I won’t know if this is something I can really do at this stage in my life unless I actually go and spend some time there.  Come September I will get that opportunity for approximately ten weeks.  If all goes well, I will return in early 2027 once the new house project is finished and make the move more permanent.  As the saying goes…’the things we do for love’.

To be perfectly honest, if I am going to be part of the family I don't mind helping out a little bit.  I have never said that to Cam, but in the back of my mind I have thought about it.  That is definitely a 'wait and see' kind of thing.  I don't want to become a walking ATM, so I am very careful when it comes to the financial arrangements.  The brother, who is in construction, estimates the cost of the new house with family providing all of the labor will be approximately $15,000.  With all five siblings contributing over a period of almost five years they have managed to save $12,000.  However, price of materials have increased thanks to the carrot top bobble head.  That estimate is probably on the low side now.  They are actually planning to purchase some needed materials for the temporary housing tomorrow (Saturday), so I am anxious to hear from Cam about the pricing.  His brother will know if there has been a significant increase for materials.  
I was surprised nobody asked in the Gay Thailand forum in my Love Interest 2026 post about financial arrangements between me and Cam on the most recent trip.  We had no arrangements in advance other than simply wanting to spend the time together to see if this was going to lead to anything serious.  The only firm commitment going in was I would pay all of our expenses during that time...Airbnb, food, transportation, anything we did for entertainment, and even a couple of shopping trips to the mall.   I will say that Cam never asked for anything other than wanting to go play snooker with his friends a couple of times.  Even then, I was included in those activities.  When grocery shopping, he might pick out a snack or type of fruit he wanted.  He would never choose the restaurant if we were eating out.  It was always wherever I wanted to eat.  His usual response was 'I eat everything.  You are  more picky.  You decide'.  LOL.  I wanted to buy him some new clothes.  Trying to get him to pick out anything was like pulling teeth.  He finally would select one or two items, but only after I threatened to pick them out myself.  We definitely have different taste and style, so threatening to buy him an all pink outfit did the trick.  The only formal agreement other than me paying all of the expenses for both of us was that he would not work at the bar during that time.  An 'off fee' was never discussed nor asked for.  However, knowing that he was not working during those ten or eleven weeks with no income and he would have expenses for the trip home just a couple of days after I left for Denver, my plan was always to give him some money.  Since he never really asked for anything during our time together and resisted purchasing things, I wasn't sure if he would even accept my 'donation'.   I was not extravagant, but certainly wanted to be generous.  Initially he refused, but eventually we came to an agreement about him accepting and also the amount.  I am sure he only spent a small portion of that on himself and the trip home.  The remainder went into the new house fund.  So, I guess in a roundabout way I have contributed...technically.  
My perspective is perhaps a little different from others given our situation.  In my previous relationship with the Taiwanese, we had a joint bank account and shared expenses.  Our attitude was 'what is mine is yours and vice versa'.  Cam and I are beginning a long term relationship.  Therefore, my attitude is very similar to what it was with the Taiwanese boyfriend.  I wanted to make sure Cam had enough money to pay for the journey back to Cambodia.  We knew in advance that was going to be around 7000 Baht.  He also wanted to take back a few things to his family.  We actually went shopping together for those things, but that didn't amount to much.  He needed to be careful about how much he was going to be carrying on foot through the forest.  Probably the most expensive and largest item was a bottle of Jack Daniels Whiskey for him to share with his father and siblings.  The arrangement for the upcoming trip to Cambodia is the same as it was in Bangkok...I will pay all of the expenses for us during that time.  Since we are entering into a relationship...family is family.  If a little help is needed for the new house, I really don't mind.  

Quick update:  Cam has arrived home safe and sound.  A total of 9 persons made the trip plus driver.  They were all packed into a van.  Couldn't have been very comfortable.  Took a little over six hours to drive as the driver was trying to avoid police check points.  They traveled by foot through the forest once they reached the border for about 1km.  From there he was able to get a car to take him directly to his home.  That ride was approximately two hours.  There was a period of time where we could not be in communication as they all had to avoid using their phones.  That was the most frustrating part...not knowing exactly where he was or what was happening.  I was extremely nervous about him and the others walking through the forest because of the danger of land mines.  Current rates are 5000-7000 Baht.  Not a bad days work transporting 9 persons to the border at 5000 Baht each.  He does that several times each week.  The price on Cambodian side has also gone up.  Cam ended up paying 1000 Baht for the ride to his home.   We did video chat briefly when he first arrived, then he was going to crash.  He said he wasn't able to sleep during the trip.  Big sigh of relief on my part.  Thanks to everyone for their concern and support.  Much appreciated.  

To be honest, until meeting Cam I gave little notice to the border conflict other than what appeared in the US news...which is never much.  I believe many Cambodians did return at the beginning of the war...even guys working in the bars.  This was encouraged by the Cambodian government...I think the line of reasoning given was loyalty to your country.  With the border closed, if they decided to return to Thailand for work at some later time, they would need to do so illegally.  They would not be able to obtain a visa.  If they had a visa, getting it renewed might be the challenge.  This is all unfamiliar territory for me and until getting together with Cam it was never on my radar.  Definitely a real learning experience on my part.  I also ordered some books to read about Cambodian history and culture before I return in September so I am better prepared for those political conversations Cam liked to have over Youtube videos.  Back to school at 75!  lol.  

With respect, what has the border situation between Mexico and the USA to do with the border between Thailand and Cambodia, the more so given the massive amount of political time and even more cash spent in the USA in recent years to keep illegal immigrants out? You seem to have forgotten that Cam is Cambodian and was entering his home country. His situation is totally unlike that of an illegal immigrant from Mexico, just as the Thailand/Cambodian border situation bears zero comparison to that on the US/Mexico border.

As we approach old age, personal happiness becomes more difficult to find - as some posters here have suggested, especially those with perhaps some personal experience of a happiness they never thought possible in the early days before it started to decrease over time as reality set in.
But we are all different, thankfully. I'm with @a-447. You have shown us all a remarkable willingness to share your thoughts and feelings, most quite new to you. Bravo for that! I'll add my own "go for it". Then adapt as may eventually seem necessary. But true happiness is never easy to find and you seem as close as anyone to be in that situation.

The parents aren't stupid.
They would soon realise that the amount of money he sends home each month couldn't possibly be from the earnings of a lowly-paid construction worker. They would be well aware of the kind of business their kids are in when they go to work in Thailand and start sending cash home. They would be well aware that  you guys didn't meet on a construction site. It's the old 'don't ask and don't tell'.
A number of Thai guys over the years have told me that everyone knows that the best house in the village has been paid for by the old farang partner of a young local. But noone cares as long as the money and gifts keep rolling in.
If you can afford it, go for it. Do whatever you want to be happy.
YOLO.
 

Gosh I don't know what information I can offer: Cambodia has been through a lot -- Pol Pot massacres, Vietnamese invasion, Chinese invasion, brutal French colonialism, American carpet bombing and mining. The financial system is pretty messed up -- with the USD becoming the de facto Cambodian currency, and its own currency being considered chump change alas. The psyche of the country is badly bruised, you can kind of feel it there. The current generation (Cam's generation) is trying to reset but until their parents and grandparents pass on, it will remain. I don't know how anybody who lived through the "Killing Fields" can brush it off, they are trying. Maybe this will help you understand Cam's parents when you meet them.
You can expect to find parents who love their son unconditionally, and support him in whatever life he chooses. They thank him for sending money to them regularly (which helps them survive). They of course wish for a good life for him. That all said, if you can remain deeply respectful of them, they are unlikely to resent you. In fact they are mostly likely to make you feel comfortable and welcome in their home. My advice is to practice "strategic ambiguity" when it comes to your relationship with Cam, calling him a dear friend, someone you trust and value, and someone you enjoy staying with. They will understand (probably more than you ever will know). 
Good luck! You are about to undertake a great adventure. 
 

Greetings, All!  This will come as no surprise to some of you, and others may be shocked.  Currently back in Bangkok and planning to be here for approximately three months.  That will all depend on if my request for a 30-day visa extension is approved the end of June after the initial 60-days.  I made the decision for several reasons.  First, since I am retired and have no real commitments or obligations to keep me in Denver other than family, I decided there is no reason to wait until November.  In addition, it is low season so not nearly as many tourists.  When checking airfares, I actually found better prices now versus later in the year due to the ongoing conflict in the Middle East.  Since there seems to be no end in sight and jet fuel prices are skyrocketing, airfares listed for the fall are astronomical.  Of course, the single most important reason is I missed Cam and really wanted to spend some long term quality time with him.  We were both anxious to spend time together sooner rather than later.  We have been texting multiple times each day ever since I returned to Denver, and video call at least once a day, if not more. There was really no strong, compelling reason to wait until late in 2026.
My posts will not be as often as my previous trips to Thailand, nor as detailed.  Only a few select friends, immediate family, and one or two forum members know of my location.  I have zero plans to see my Thai friends.  There will be no visits to massage shops; no contact via Line with regulars I saw previously…including Paradise guy.  I doubt we will visit any of the bars and will probably avoid Silom as much as possible.  Cam made the necessary arrangements with the bar to be off during my entire visit.  Thanks to forum members for setting me straight about off fees for something long term, no money was provided to Hotmale. lol.  However, I did give Mamasan a nice tip to offer our thanks for his support of Cam.  After I returned to Denver, Cam made the decision on his own without any prompting from me to discuss with Mamasan that he no longer wanted to go with customers for off’s, but would only go for drinks.  He explained that we were together now and that he would be returning to Cambodia after my visit and I would most likely be joining him there.  Mamasan agreed to that request.  It only presented a problem with one customer, which speaks more about the customer’s character than anything about Cam.  Customer knew from Mamasan that Cam would only go with him for a drink…nothing more.  After one hour of drinking, customer decided he wanted more from Cam.  Cam said ‘no’, and politely told the man he was leaving.  Man would not even give Cam any money after he spent one hour with him for drinks. Cam didn’t care about the money, and left to go back to his room.  So, I felt a generous tip was in order for Mamasan since he was so supportive of Cam’s decision.
This trip is all about spending quality time together and getting to know each other better.  We are staying in an Airbnb away from the Silom area for the duration of the trip.  We have some side trips planned as well, including a trip to Pattaya and Chiang Mai for a few days.  Cam has been to Pattaya one time, but really enjoys the beach so we definitely want to go there.  He has never been to Chiang Mai, so that will be a new adventure.  Keeping in mind Cam’s status, all of our accommodations are through Airbnb and all of our travel is via private car service.  We may even do a little exploring around Bangkok and visit Ayutthaya.  Cam has never really ventured outside of Silom very much and experienced other parts of the city.  Again, please do not expect daily updates as I have done on my previous trips.  This visit is totally different from past experiences.

my DTV got approved a week ago ✅

my DTV got approved a week ago ✅

my DTV got approved a week ago ✅

I don't believe anyone is forcing you to visit.  If you don't care to visit a place, then don't.  There are many places in the world I have no desire to see or visit in person.  I don't go around bad mouthing them.  That is totally inappropriate.  If you don't want to visit Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia...or wherever.  That is your choice.  There is absolutely no reason to be nasty and mean about it.  We all have our preferences as to what we like and don't like...not just in regards to men, but people and places in general.  That is life.  Get over it.  My mother always told me...if you cannot say something nice about it, then perhaps you shouldn't say anything at all.  Maybe you should follow that advice.  

Best we can do to ourselves is to be stoic. Book the flights, prepare for the trip and in THE DAY go to the airport and fly. If it won't work, have some contingency plan and sleep well assuming that all will work as it should. Being anxious doesn't help. Even in best of times  our travel plans may be ruined by some unexpected event like getting stuck in the elevator due to power failure or breaking leg while walking down the stairs . 

Very knowledgeable!

yes. reason for the better rates is that those stalls on the left behind the arl ticket machines are technically not in the airport but in samut prakan province.

yes. reason for the better rates is that those stalls on the left behind the arl ticket machines are technically not in the airport but in samut prakan province.

Go downstairs to the skytrain level. Walk to the left of the skytrain office where we buy tickets. On your right are some change booths which give a better rate than all the upstairs change places at bkk. When I was there earlier this month the rate there wasn't that far below the best in the city.  

The reason why these booths offer best rates is because they are not "in the airport" but they are technically in samut prakan, the province surrounding the airport. so if you want to change money at the airport always go there. it is like 10% better rate than at the other airport levels.
 

Idk, if i should write anything at all on this. i don't know you, and i don't know @mauRICE, but i did read some of your posts here and some of your blog. my first thought is wow, i'd like to be like this guy. this is not caring about the other person, other than how he can benefit me in this moment. and no emotional connection afterwards. besides "want to meet again". this, to me, comes around as being very cold emotionally. and i realize i can't be like this, even if i wanted to. idk if there is another side to you that you don't want to show. may very well be. but yes, dehumanizing is very much the optics you are projecting.

The reason why these booths offer best rates is because they are not "in the airport" but they are technically in samut prakan, the province surrounding the airport. so if you want to change money at the airport always go there. it is like 10% better rate than at the other airport levels.
 

"not always" is doing the heavy lifting here. 

"not always" is doing the heavy lifting here. 

When I was in Siem Reap,  travelling to the new, ludicrous, airport, built with Chinese money, the area even given a Chinese name, my driver said, "we are part of China  now". It was not a compliment!