Sorry for the delay in posting anything from the Kingdom of Cambodia.  I am alive and well, and so far have survived the experience.  I will say it has not gone according to the original plan.  Things have a way of happening when family is involved.  That isn’t necessarily a bad thing…but I am certainly learning to ‘go with the flow’ so to speak.  Not an easy task for a retired high school teacher whose daily routine was structured around a bell schedule. lol.  Where I am more of a detail oriented person who likes to follow a somewhat regular routine and like to plan things in advance, I know that Cam is completely the opposite.  I had to learn to adapt when we were living together in Bangkok, and now that we are together in Cambodia with all of his family nearby…I really just let things happen and forget about any planning or details.  So, let me back up and fill in the blanks for everyone.  ‘Go with the flow’ also has special meaning as much of Cambodia, Thailand, and Myanmar are under water at the moment due to extremely heavy rains over a 7 day period.  Too much rainwater and no place for it to go, so there is severe flooding in many places.

Flight from Denver to San Francisco was uneventful.  Since it was the first flight out in the morning, we managed to arrive a few minutes early.  Since it was booked as two separate tickets, I had to retrieve my luggage from domestic baggage claim and make my way to the international terminal and recheck my bags with Singapore Airlines.  The layover was just a little over three hours, so plenty of time to do that without feeling rushed.  I also had to wait around 45 minutes for the Singapore counters to open.  The flight on Singapore Airlines was great, although once again we did experience a fair amount of turbulence the first couple of hours due to that severe weather system hitting California…El Nino.  The cabin was very comfortable and service exceptional.  I know I have said this before, but it is really worth repeating…customer service on Asian airlines is far superior to anything you get on domestic carriers in the US.  There is a reason why Singapore Airlines is ranked number 1 for 2026 and there are no US carriers ranked in the top ten.  While the Singapore airport has free Snooze Lounges available in every terminal, there are also transit hotels within several terminals that you can access without leaving the airport and needing to deal with immigration.  I had opted for one of these, Ambassador Transit Hotel/Lounge, in Terminal 2.  Would definitely recommend to anyone with a long layover, and it was reasonably priced.  I had made a reservation online in advance through Booking.com and it was only $40 USD.  That seemed very reasonable to me.

I must admit with a ten hour layover in Singapore I was concerned if my luggage would actually make it onto the flight to Siem Reap, but on arrival I was very pleased to see both bags had made it.  Since I had already completed the visa process in advance as well as the arrival card for Cambodia, immigration was smooth sailing.  I was able to use the automated system without any problems.  The airport was not busy at all and it took very little wait time at baggage claim.  Walked outside from baggage claim and Cam was right there waiting for me.  He drove up the night before and spent the night in Siem Reap since my flight arrived early morning.  He had arranged for car service to/from the airport, so we traveled back into Siem Reap in comfort.  The original plan was to spend a few days in Siem Reap before traveling on to Battambang.  However, as it turned out the family had other ideas.  Several days ended up just being one night for me in Siem Reap before heading to Banteay Meanchey province.

Unless you are very familiar with Cambodia, you are probably wondering where Banteay Meanchey province is located, and why on earth I would be heading there.  Well, the province is located about halfway between Siem Reap and the Thai-Cambodian border crossing at Poipet.  That is where Cam’s hometown is located.  It would seem that Cam’s father had decided this was the time they needed to go to the farm and fertilize the rice fields.  Cam’s home is not actually on the farm but located more in the small village or commune.  I am somewhat challenged in understanding the difference between village, commune, district, and province.  lol.  The farm is actually a good 45 minutes to one hour drive from Cam’s house in a very rural, isolated area.  We ended up staying at the farm for three nights.  There was no cell service and electricity was spotty.  It was very rustic and reminded me of when I was in junior high and high school and would go to church camp in the summer or on work missions with the church youth group to Belize in Central America.  When you are 13-17 years old, you don’t mind rustic so much and look at it as more of an adventure.  However, when you are mid-70’s it contained almost no excitement for me.  The only good thing was having Cam there beside me for the ordeal.  Cam, his father, and his father’s older brother tended to the rice fields and completed spreading the fertilizer.  There is a small ‘building’ at the farm where we stayed.  For lack of a better word, I refer to it as a shack, but certainly did not have any of the comforts of home.

As I expected, the fence project did not get completed before my arrival.  As a result, once we finished at the farm we went to Cam’s house for the remainder of the first week so that the fence could be finished.  Cam’s brother could only help for a few days because he had other work lined up and would need to return home.  Since the brother has his own construction business, he had the knowledge and the tools needed to finish the fence.  This is why it became necessary for us to spend several days on the front end of my trip at Cam’s house with the family.  I was well aware of the fact that internet connection at his home is not always the greatest or reliable.  Something we have been dealing with since we both returned home.  In addition to that, electricity is very expensive in Cambodia.  Since we were at his parents house for several days, in addition to feeling like it would be very rude to spend time on my computer when his family was going out of their way to make sure I felt welcomed, I also did not want to ‘plug in’ too many devices.  I did charge my cell phone as needed and my watch every night.  Consequently, I have not been online to make any posts until now.

We are now back in Siem Reap and will stay here for one week.  Getting here was a challenge because of seven or eight days straight of torrential rains.  Flooding is quite severe in many areas.  Some roads are closed or probably should be closed due to the flooding.  It is not isolated to any one area, but most of northwest Cambodia is under water.  There is finally a little bit of blue sky and sunshine today, although the forecast still calls for rain later this evening.  We will be doing some sightseeing this week, as well as taking care of business.  I need to do the visa extension process to get the retirement visa.  There are a number of businesses in Siem Reap that provide this service.  I have narrowed it down to two based upon recommendations from the online Facebook expat group in Cambodia.  A little apprehensive about letting go of my passport, but no choice in the matter.  It has to be sent to Phnom Penh.

As far as me and Cam…things are going quite well.  We have picked up right where we left off in our relationship…have not skipped a beat.  Cam was always very attentive and showed affection towards me.  If anything, that has increased…regardless if his family is around or not.  It did not seem to bother anyone in the least, and his mother was constantly fussing over me.  I will say that Cam is slightly different away from the Bangkok scene…in a good way.  Even though he might hang out with friends, these are real friends he has known his entire life.  In Bangkok, just by nature of the work environment and his so-called ‘friends’ there, he would drink quite heavily and usually hard liquor.  His hours were very different as well…sleep all day and up all night.  Of course, when we were living together away from Silom, during those three months he was more regulated and what I call normal daily routines and sleep habits.  Being back in Cambodia, he is usually in bed by 10pm and up around 6:30am to prepare for work.  He might have one or two beers when out with friends, but that is not very often.  He loves spending time with the nieces and nephews, is really great with them, and they all seem to adore him as well.  All in all, it just is very natural and comfortable.  As I said…we have not skipped a beat.

Welcome back @jimmie50 you have been missed..

I thought Cam was from near Battambang but it seems his village is closer to Poipet, where are a number of boys I know are from. It is a gambling border town I believe and thrived while the Thai-Cambodia border was open but now it is closed the economy is suffering, some have moved on to Phnom Penh to make a living.

Just wondering if it would not have made sense for you to stay in Siem Reap and done some tourism, learn the lay of the land, while Cam farmed, rather than being whisked into the remote countryside upon arrival? But then again perhaps you both did not want to be separated after all that time apart. Great to hear the family has been welcoming.

@jimmie50 Thanks for this update - as many of us were worried about you. I am so happy to hear that you and Cam are doing well. And to learn that he is even more attentive and affectionate to you is amazing because what I saw with my own eyes when we were on Koh Larn together was that Cam was already very attentive and affectionate on that day we had on the beach.

Regarding the never ending rain, the Thai meteorological department is saying that in the next days that this monsoon storm system should start to dissipate - Hallelujah!!

Wishing you and Cam and his family all the best :>))

23 minutes ago, hank75 said:

Just wondering if it would not have made sense for you to stay in Siem Reap and done some tourism, learn the lay of the land, while Cam farmed, rather than being whisked into the remote countryside upon arrival? But then again perhaps you both did not want to be separated after all that time apart. Great to hear the family has been welcoming.

To be honest, it all happened so fast and I wasn't exactly asked. lol. I was told there was a change in plans and this is what we were going to be doing instead. I was not asked what my personal preference would be. It was definitely an experience I had not planned on, but as long as we were together I made do with the situation. That was more important to me. What is that expression...the things we do for love. LOL.

https://cambodianess.com/article/authorities-prepare-evacuations-as-floods-hit-northwest-provinces

44 minutes ago, hank75 said:

I thought Cam was from near Battambang but it seems his village is closer to Poipet

It takes one hour to drive either direction to Battambang or Poipet from his village. He has family and friends in Battambang and Poipet, but associates more with Battambang. I have not been to Poipet, so have no point of reference as to distance. We will go to Battambang next, but travel there from Siem Reap, so again, my point of reference in regards to his hometown will be unknown. However, once in Battambang we will probably travel to his hometown so that will give me a better idea of distance and road conditions. The one friend he has in Poipet is from his hometown and they grew up together. He works in Poipet now. His one sister also lives in Poipet. She is the one who has the convenience or general type store...well, she and her husband.

1 hour ago, jimmie50 said:

Wow!!!

Oh, dear!

Thanks for updates! Happy to hear that you are adapting well to Cambodia. Your relationship with Cam is truly romantic! 💗 Wishing you all the best!

The situation is a lot more rustic and dire than I imagined and I feel sorry for the folks who have to be evacuated because of the floods, not to mention the cats, dogs and livestock, which are bound to be left behind. It's as if these folks haven't suffered enough hardship in their day-to-day lives as it is.

On a happier note, your relationship with Cam seems to be getting stronger which no doubt is what's sustaining your motivation for staying. Good luck and stay in touch! 🫶

6 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

Oh, dear !

wow !

I’m guessing that you flew United from Denver to San Francisco. I think they have the most flights. If you were on a United flight, they can often interline the luggage with Singapore since they’re both Star Alliance Airlines. Even if you’re on separate tickets if the airlines have interline agreements, they can often times check your luggage through to your final destination. Be sure to ask the next time you’re in that situation.

i’m glad you made it safely to Cambodia and I hope you have a very nice time there.

20 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

but I am certainly learning to ‘go with the flow’ so to speak. 

That's a good attitude to have when things just can't be under ones control. When you're surrounded by people who will look out for you, you can trust that the "flow" they arrange will probably turn out fine, even if in unexpected ways.

There have been situations when, having no choice but to go with the flow, I surprised myself what I could put up with and what I was capable of in circumstances I never imagined. A bit of an ego booster, then.

Good to hear you're well and adjusting to a new life!

29 minutes ago, macaroni21 said:

That's a good attitude to have when things just can't be under ones control. When you're surrounded by people who will look out for you, you can trust that the "flow" they arrange will probably turn out fine, even if in unexpected ways.

There have been situations when, having no choice but to go with the flow, I surprised myself what I could put up with and what I was capable of in circumstances I never imagined. A bit of an ego booster, then.

Good to hear you're well and adjusting to a new life!

Living in a new, totally different culture can be a very frustrating yet exhilarating experience.

It enriches your life, as you gain the benefit of enjoying two cultures instead of just one.

First impressions of Cambodia…people are very friendly.  Similar to what I found in Thailand.  Country seems to be more rural and less developed.  Cam’s family was very warm and caring.  People we met in his hometown were very welcoming.  Definitely has that small town vibe where everyone knows everyone as well as everyone’s business.  Life is much more slow paced and relaxed.  I don’t get the impression that people worry about much or take life too seriously.  In Siem Reap now, it might be considered a big city but it has that overall small town feeling as well.  People here are more laid back.  For example, there is no high pressure tactics from remork or tuktuk drivers.  They are very leisurely relaxing or even napping in their vehicles if there are no customers interested in their services.  Same for the market areas.  When walking through, I did not feel any pressure from shop keepers to enter or buy something.  Very similar attitude with most shops and restaurants we have walked past.  Very different from the feeling I had in Bangkok where I felt constantly bombarded to buy something, eat here, or ride somewhere.  Traffic is bad for sure, but I attribute that to not enough infrastructure.  Too many two lane roads that do not have the capacity to handle the number of vehicles.  I will say that I felt much safer as a pedestrian in Bangkok than I do here in Siem Reap.  It seems regardless of the type of vehicle you are driving, you have no consideration whatsoever for people on foot.  This seems like a contradiction to me from how warm and friendly the people are.  Put them in control of some type of vehicle and that friendliness disappears.  lol.  In the city, we have seen a few foreigners, but I wouldn’t say there were many walking around the city…at least in areas we have seen so far.  Most seem to be Australian based upon accent…older or retirees.  Saw a couple of smaller tour buses with perhaps 20 persons on board with a guide.  I have not seen any public transit system here to speak of…not sure if it exists or not.

Interesting experience at the Visa Service this morning.  Went to one of the two highly recommended places on the Facebook Cambodian Expat Group.  I had done my research online in advance of this trip and so had all of the various documents the government website stated would be required: Official letter of retirement; Official statement of retirement monthly income; Health Certificate; Criminal background check; Residence in Cambodia (using Cam’s address for this); copy of Visa; passport with at least six months before expiration date, passport photo.  We walked into the office and I pulled out my binder with all of the various documents.  The only thing they wanted was the passport, the passport photo, and the current visa.  They said nothing else was needed except payment.  I knew the price would be $290 in USD from the immigration website plus whatever fee the agency would charge.  She assured me nothing else was needed in the way of documentation and it should be back within 10 days.  She will call Cam when they receive it back from Phnom Penh.  No problems and no worries according to her.  We will probably be in Battambang by then, so that will mean another ride to Siem Reap on the motorbike.  Fun, fun, fun.

Well, the subject of money finally came up today, but in a totally unexpected way. Cam and I were eating lunch and the subject turned to the approaching national holiday October 10-12, Pchum Ben. I am not sure if it is to honor, remember, or perhaps both...the ancestors. Cam was explaining it is a time for family to return home and enjoy time together. It involves 4:30am trips to the temple to make merit and offer prayers and at least one large family feast or meal together. During the discussion, he explained that to show honor and respect to parents you should provide them with a gift or an envelope containing money at the feast on the last day of the holiday. Naturally, we also discussed if we would be going. Just as a point of my being curious...I asked him if there was a set amount of money they tried to give his parents. He explained that each family is different, and it really boils down to what each family member is able to afford financially. Cam said he and his siblings (and their spouses) always pooled their money to give to their parents. They don't give a separate amount to his mother and something also to his father. It is collectively. I asked what he has contributed in the past. Rather than tell me in Riel, he said he tries to give 7000-8000 Baht which would roughly be a little over $200 USD. Pursuing this conversation, I did not anticipate what would happen next. In a simple matter of fact manner he asked me what I planned to contribute. Took me a little bit by surprise. Guess I truly am a member of the family. lol. Certainly do not mind contributing in this instance, but no idea what would be an appropriate amount from me. If anyone has thoughts or suggestions, send them my way. October 12 is still a couple of weeks away.

33 minutes ago, jimmie50 said:

no idea what would be an appropriate amount from me.

first question to Cam would be if there are any other occasions in the year which requires money giving. New Year? I know that in the Cambodian equivalent of Songkran they celebrate with families and pour water on the heads and hands of elders. Would be good to find out if this is the single occasion in the year it’s required or there are a couple more lurking in the festive calendar.

I would suggest to Cam you could contribute 10,000 (slightly more than his own) and see how he reacts. If this is the single occasion in the year perhaps an increase to 12,000 but remember you will be on the hook for this yearly. If there are multiple occasions in the year, matching Cam or fractionally more seems wise to me. There may be other surprises later on.

Your tenacity with the life in rural cambodia is commendable. I for one would have been miserable. Glad you are taking a rest now in siem reap but also glad you survive and seems to be able to live in the farm house without internet.

Wanted to comment on the request to contribute for the parent, but honestly I have no idea how it is in cambodia and their culture for the holiday pchum ben. I can share my own experience in malaysia but it might not be the same.

Anyway, i used google ai to ask about it and the answer seems to fit what Cam is giving and what is expected from foreign boyfriend. Usd200. The same amount expected from child who work overseas.

As a comparison, asked the same about a holiday in malaysia and AI answer is lower than what i usually gave my parents. So its really not helping lol

9 hours ago, jimmie50 said:

In the city, we have seen a few foreigners, but I wouldn’t say there were many walking around the city…

in Siem Reap at day time most tourists are doing what they came there at the first place - surveying temples which is usually full day undertaking. At night all of the sudden all farangs are on streets in force, at least that was my experience

9 hours ago, hank75 said:

There may be other surprises later on.

Very sober observation, My first thought was , since jimmie50 is not a child , half of what children are giving would be sufficient but after second thought , taking into account that 200 $ for jimmie50 is likely much less sacrifice than for Cam my thought is , match Cam's contribution. Is always better to start low and increase when necessary then starting too high.

If seller on the market quotes you say 4000 riels for kg of tomato and you pay without haggling , it will be your price next time , even if normal one is 1500 ( I'm making up those riel figures although wouldn't be surprised if 1500 actually is the price , no idea )

I apologize if my questions r out of line:

Do u consider urself Cam's spouse (assuming a difference between spouse and BF)?

R u considered so by parents or siblings?

If yes to both questions, has this status been manifested reciprocally ?

1 hour ago, 12is12 said:

Do u consider urself Cam's spouse (assuming a difference between spouse and BF)?

R u considered so by parents or siblings?

This is a very good question and indeed the basis of my recommendation earlier. I just assumed @jimmie50 was acknowledged as “son in law” already which maybe I should have stated

7 hours ago, spoon said:

Anyway, i used google ai to ask about it and the answer seems to fit what Cam is giving and what is expected from foreign boyfriend. Usd200. The same amount expected from child who work overseas.

lol coming from an Asian background we are always calculating cash gifts especially for Chinese weddings, where the bride and groom expect red packet money to help them offset the cost of inviting you as a guest. It’s a complex calculation process based on how much the wedding would cost per head added to what the happy couple actually expects based on your relationship with them. And only straight couples bother with this irritating hoopla. Eventually I gave up and just started declining wedding invitations. There are entire online “guides” on how much to gift at weddings, to parents at Chinese New Year, to relatives and so on.

Regarding jimmie50’s situation my thought process was that he occupies the position of “spouse” or “son in law” and this is the first official festivity with them. There may be an expectation that being more senior than Cam and better financed, he contributes more. If Cam is contributing 8000, a 2000 baht increase to 10,000 seems sufficient to give face to all parties but without digging too big a hole. Jimmie and Cam do seem to have an excellent relationship where this like other gnarly issues can be discussed out. It may that Cam volunteers Jimmie contributes less say 5000 baht but I think it’s always appreciated to match or offer more. It really depends if he wants to set the tone he is part of the family or not yet.

2 hours ago, hank75 said:

This is a very good question and indeed the basis of my recommendation earlier. I just assumed @jimmie50 was acknowledged as “son in law” already which maybe I should have stated

lol coming from an Asian background we are always calculating cash gifts especially for Chinese weddings, where the bride and groom expect red packet money to help them offset the cost of inviting you as a guest. It’s a complex calculation process based on how much the wedding would cost per head added to what the happy couple actually expects based on your relationship with them. And only straight couples bother with this irritating hoopla. Eventually I gave up and just started declining wedding invitations. There are entire online “guides” on how much to gift at weddings, to parents at Chinese New Year, to relatives and so on.

It's the same in Japan.

And there's a going rate for the amount of money in the wedding envelope, depending on your 'status'.

The money is used not only to help pay for the very expensive wedding, but the happy couple also have to provide a gift for each attendee. The value of the gift depends on the amount the guest put in the envelope. Normally, little if any of the wedding money remains.

There are also 2 gift giving seasons - oseibo in winter and ochugen in summer. Both coincide with the winter and summer bonus paid to all workers. The amount paid depends on how well the business has done. Strangely, politicians give themselves huge bonuses! Some of this money is turn used to buy gifts.

The gift giving seasons are to thank those who have helped you in some way. Doctors and teachers do very well! Department stores set aside huge areas filled with gifts of differing value, from alcohol, laundry detergent, household appliances and Rolex watches and other designer goods. Store vouchers are also popular. People receive gifts, but also hand them out, often using the vouchers they've just received.

These customs means money keeps circulating in the society.

I'm not all that familiar with Cambodian culture, but I have a feeling there are probably other celebrations during the year which require a donation.

8 minutes ago, a-447 said:

Strangely, politicians gives themselves huge bonuses!

you must be kidding !