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Joke for the Day: Add more if you want

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Is this the one with the statue crying because Brazil was beaten by Germany? I knew there was such a picture but did not look for it.

This looks more like a crazed Packers fan signaling a touchdown; however, by which team is undetermined. ^_^

Best regards,

RA1

Being a Scotsman, I am naturally opposed to water in its undiluted state.

Dr. Alister MacKenzie

(1870 – 1934) British golf course architect

I only drink to steady my nerves…sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.

W.C. Fields
I admit to spending a fortune on women, booze and gambling…the rest I spend foolishly.
Charles 'Chic' Murray

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor

I was so drunk last night I fell down and missed the floor.
Dean Martin
I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
David Lee Roth
I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead.
Laura Kightlinger
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W.C. Fields

A study shows that ninety per cent of men inflate the number of their sex partners, while the other ten per cent inflate their sex partners.

Craig Kilborn

Making love to a woman is like buying real estate: location, location, location.

Carol Leifer

Last night I asked my husband, Whats your favorite sexual position? and he said, Next door.

Joan Rivers

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two peoplebetween five, it's fantastic.

Woody Allen

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

Rodney Dangerfield

I have low self-esteem; when we were in bed together, I would fantasize that I was someone else.

Richard Lewis

Have you ever tried to put an oyster in a slot machine?

Carl Reiner

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

Joan Rivers

When he tells you he wants to exchange ideas, what he really wants is to exchange fluids.

Woody Allen

I liked Amsterdam -- I spent $2,000 window-shopping.

Rich Vos

By the time my friend was eighteen she had sown enough wild oats to make a grain deal with Russia.

Phyllis Diller

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An aspirin is a vey effective birth control pill, just hold it between your knees.

Best regards,

RA1

  • Active Members

They tell me I'm riddled with cancer

So I'm planning to croak with elan

If you'll pass the cigars and decanter

I'll be dying as hard as I can.

The late Felix Dennis, media magnate, popular English poet and bon vivant.

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