I have used this word for years in terms of my girlfriends who love hanging out with me. I call them my fag hags and I have even written articles about this. No one seems to take offense but recently, I think I have insulted some people with this term.

Now, I am being told that it is highly offensive and the last thing I want to be is offensive so I'd love a discussion on the use of this word in context of a gay message board.

Please let me know if this word offends you, upsets you or is blatantly insensitive of me.

It's all about context. Some dude beating me up and calling me a fag at the same time - not good.

Talking with my friends and calling each other fags - harmless good fun.

Words are totally about intent.

I voted sometimes, but the answer is almost never. Even if somebody calls me a faggot, I just think "The only reason you're that hung up is because you secretly want to suck cock."

Yep.

I don't like the word. I never use it. And I shun things that do use it.

I picked don't care one way or the other. I've said fag b4 and know others who do as well.

It also doesn't have to be a negative term.

When I you the term I'm referring to those gay men that come off as whining and bitchy all the time

I voted "never."

The other day in a related thread I posted most of Wikipedia's article on "reappropriation": http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reappropriation

I tend at one time or other to use every word available to describe myself and any category I happen to be part of. Whether coined and used originally as laudatory, neutral, or pejorative. What is most profoundly offensive to me is the notion of submitting to others' -- I mean detractors' -- arrogation to themselves of what I demand is my choice of how language and rhetoric will function in my service. I locate freedom in taking back the night in that regard.

AS-

You take a very laid back and cosmopolitan view of yourself and others and I appreciate it. However, sometimes others are not so willing to have their personal sensitivities rubbed the wrong way. Sticks and stones, etc. is a familiar phrase but it isn't exactly true always. Words can and do hurt.

However, I certainly agree that context is everything.

Are you Batman or Robin in your crusade to take back the night?

Best regards,

RA1

For me it is about context and intent. It is difficult for me to vote in absolute terms but I did vote sometimes as that is probably the most realistic for me. I tend to not necessarily be offended but rather discount or dismiss the message and messenger if it is used in a pejorative way (as I interpret it).

I think Ox is trying to be silly and fun and empowering in his reviews and guides.

Words can and do hurt.

However, I certainly agree that context is everything.

Are you Batman or Robin in your crusade to take back the night?

Well, of course I state the thing in extremis to make a point. As you, BBB and wayout say, clearly there are situations where somebody using such words deserves a sharp knock upside the head.

My answer was in the frame of Oz's question: usage here at this site. And, by extension, like venues. But also to include my public use of such in the world at large, when I judge appropriate, and possibly useful.

...As for Batman or Robin, I might could just manage a moment or two of channeling Bruce Wayne. The Boy Wonder -- not now, not nohow, not even back in one's own Jurassic.

A catamite poofter named Jay

Thought that nancy boy sounded too gay.

'To be labelled a fag

Is a bit of a drag,

But I'll answer to queer any day.'

Well, of course I state the thing in extremis to make a point. As you, BBB and wayout say, clearly there are situations where somebody using such words deserves a sharp knock upside the head.

My answer was in the frame of Oz's question: usage here at this site. And, by extension, like venues. But also to include my public use of such in the world at large, when I judge appropriate, and possibly useful.

...As for Batman or Robin, I might could just manage a moment or two of channeling Bruce Wayne. The Boy Wonder -- not now, not nohow, not even back in one's own Jurassic.

Of course. Perhaps I neglected the basic intent of the question and concentrated upon the word itself in the various contexts. Now, whilst you are channeling BW, can you spare a moment or two to have a tete a tete with any facsimile of Robin ( any wonder of boy will do)?

Best regards,

RA1

I shouldn't Wonder.

No, not WW or anyone who might resemble same. Not everyone herein has your range of tastes.

Best regards,

RA1

I want to be Robin.

Can you imagine batman with his leather outfit and belt containing toys making you his ward....

I think you mean reward but I know what you mean.

Best regards,

RA1

P.S. Urban Dictionary's definition is most elucidative...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fag

It always catches my attention when in British television shows they mention fags, as in cigarettes (like "where are my fags") . Now fags in this sense is definitely something i find offensive :-)

As the person who stated his opposition to the word fag being used in an article on this site, I find it insulting that my reaction is now being put to a vote. Thank you for allowing me to post on this site, but my retirement is effective now.

As the person who stated his opposition to the word fag being used in an article on this site, I find it insulting that my reaction is now being put to a vote. Thank you for allowing me to post on this site, but my retirement is effective now.

That is your choice. But, it would seem to me that this being put to a vote would be what you wanted. You wanted a word not to be used. I did not believe that the word was offensive to anyone and asked for input. Now, you are offended by the post. Jeeze. There really is no winning is it?

As the person who stated his opposition to the word fag being used in an article on this site, I find it insulting that my reaction is now being put to a vote. Thank you for allowing me to post on this site, but my retirement is effective now.

Respectfully, I fail to see how your 'reaction' is being put to a vote. The poll is asking for the opinions of other posters here on the use of a word. You expressed an opinion; others are invited to do the same.

That is your choice. But, it would seem to me that this being put to a vote would be what you wanted. You wanted a word not to be used. I did not believe that the word was offensive to anyone and asked for input. Now, you are offended by the post. Jeeze. There really is no winning is it?

You're voting on whether it's all right for us to call each other fag, and I don't think that is something that should be voted on. Your articles want to refer to us as traveling bitches and fags, and that will simply never be okay with me. That you think a majority vote can undo years of fighting gay oppression indicates how far apart we are on this. Thus, have fun with your site but it won't include me.