I'm a little hesitant to share this experience because I'm not in the mood for the critics who will tell me everything I should have done. But I'm sharing it because it was scary, and I want people to be careful and hopefully learn from my mistake.

I'm in Philadelphia for two weeks, and of course, I've been looking for ways to have fun. When I lived here in the 80s there were no shortages of places to have fun. Now, most of those places are gone. So of course, I was looking on Grindr.

I was not having much luck, until yesterday, when a guy I'd seen, but thought was out of my league contacted me. It has happened before, so I didn't think it was too good to be true, but I should have.

He said he had an 11 inch dick. He sent an album with lots of photos that looked legit. He told me he was DL and asked how he'd meet me.

I'm staying in an Airbnb in a condo building. There is an elevator code to come up to my floor. At least I had the sense not to give him the code. I told him I'd meet him in front of the building.

When he arrived, I went down and he was waiting outside. He looked like the photos he sent. He followed me to the elevator and we came up, chatting along the way. He seemed like a nice guy. He said he was visiting from Cincinatti, he was DL and had a girlfriend. I saw no reason not to believe any of this.

Once inside, I offered him some water (I don't have much in the condo) and we sat and chatted a bit.

He asked to use the bathroom and was in the bathroom for a while. When he came out, he said he thought I'd be naked. I am not proud of my body at this stage of my life, so I only took off my shirt and kept my underwear on. I was planning on just sucking him off.

He looked at the mirror in the bedroom and said he wanted to do it in front of the mirror. I told him there was a bigger mirror in the living room, so we went out there and he stood while I got on my knees and started to suck.

His dick was not very big, but I've seen others that start out small and grow a lot, but he was not growing. He was not getting hard. I also saw him holding his phone and now I realize he was recording me in the mirror.

We came back to the bedroom and he sat in a chair while I tried to suck him. He still was not getting hard. He said he had to use the bathroom again. I was beginning to realize this was not going to work out and trying to think of a way to get out of it. I thought I was going to tell him the maintenance man called while he was in the bathroom and needed to come up. I wish I'd tried that. I didn't realize things would turn to the worst.

So he came out of the bathroom and I tried sucking him a little more until finally telling him I didn't think it was going to work out.

He said, "So you wasted my time." I got that feeling in my stomach that told me I was in trouble

So he asked me how much I was going to give him. I said we'd never discussed money. He said, "You didn't read my profile?" and started to become agitated. He showed me a profile that said in all caps - THISBIGBLACKDICKCOST560DOLLARS - that was definitely not the profile I saw. I opened Grindr on my phone and he had blocked me, so our messages were not visible.

I had put on my clothes and tried steering him out of the bedroom because that's where my money was. I told him my money was in a safe deposit box on the first floor. I figured if I got him out of the apartment, I had a chance.

We got to the door but he wouldn't leave, so I called 911.

He grabbed my phone and threatened to beat me up. I tried calling for help, but I'm sure if anyone heard, they would not come out to help me.

Finally, I said my money is in a safe deposit box on the first floor. There were lockers on the first floor for people who check out but have later flights. I pretended that's where my money was.

We went down the elevator. Halfway down another guy got on. I should have asked him to help me, but I didn't. He was bigger than the guy from Grindr. Of course, he probably wouldn't have been able to help, but in a situation like this, you think of all of the "should haves".

When we got to the first floor, we walked over to the lockers. I tried to get him to give me my phone but he wouldn't. So I went to the front desk and asked the clerk if he could help.

This guy then started this crazy story saying I posed as a female and lured him over and then made him let me suck his cock. He had a video. I tried to explain my side, but the clerk said, "I don't need to hear all of this". I asked him to call the police and he did.

The guy then left and yelled "don't follow me". I needed my phone. As you know, everything is on our phones these days. So I did follow him. He was yelling at me and then finally threw my phone into the street. I ran after it and got it. It was completely destroyed.

I'm lucky I got out that situation without being injured or hurt in any way. I'm done with Grindr, and will probably just look at porn from now on. I feel like my age has put me in a high risk category for any type of cruising.

I got a new phone and tried logging into Grindr because I wanted to post a warning. My account was banned. So this guy probably filed a false report about me. I wrote to Grindr, called and left a message and so far they have not responded. So this criminal is out there, potentially targeting other men, and I can't do anything. I don't know if it would do any good to report it to the police or if it will be a humiliating experience, but I feel like I need to do something. So, I'm sharing this experience with you, in the hopes that someone will read it and think twice before hooking up with someone who seems too good to be true.

It was definitely a wake-up call for me.

Wow. I am sorry you went through all that hell.

💚 I feel for you

I hope you can get over this , it happens but doesn't mean it will happen again 

Gay saunas are another alternative to Grindr 

Believe me it's happened to a lot of us even in places like Thailand 

7 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

💚 I feel for you

I hope you can get over this , it happens but doesn't mean it will happen again 

Gay saunas are another alternative to Grindr 

Believe me it's happened to a lot of us even in places like Thailand 

Thanks for the reassurance. Yes. I think I will limit myself to places like saunas, if they exist. Philly has changed to much from when I used to live here in the 80s. I could walk down the street and meet guys and often we'd find places to have sex outside. Now, all of the old cruising spots are gone, as are most of the bookstores and theaters.

What irritates me the most is that Grindr has been so unresponsive. The guy had my account banned, so I'm appealing the ban and also trying to report him. I had Grindr Extra, so I was paying them to be a member. But they don't seem to care that there is a predator out there, probably targeting other people.

One thing I realized, was I put "visiting" on my profile, thinking it might attract people looking for a more discreet experience. I think that was not a good move. I think that may have been one of the reasons I was targeted.

Another "should have" that I thought of, taking tips from other countries, I should have told him he'd have to show his ID at the front desk. A good way to weed out those with criminal intentions.

For what it's worth, I did report it to the police. An officer came here and took a report. They could have looked at the security camera footage to see the guy outside of the building, but the report was obviously just a formality.

Wow , you reported to the cops 😳

I probably wouldn't of ,not that you will hear back from them of course,but if it made you feel better then ok.

Even in Thailand I have to question the guys over again on Grindr when they say it's free to come over and I do get 40yo Thai guys messaging me only to find out into the conversation they "wouldn't mind a tip"  so one has to be wary , some of them I wouldn't even take for free and yet they're asking for payment 😊

On 6/4/2023 at 8:59 AM, Olddaddy said:

Wow , you reported to the cops 😳

I probably wouldn't of ,not that you will hear back from them of course,but if it made you feel better then ok.

Even in Thailand I have to question the guys over again on Grindr when they say it's free to come over and I do get 40yo Thai guys messaging me only to find out into the conversation they "wouldn't mind a tip"  so one has to be wary , some of them I wouldn't even take for free and yet they're asking for payment 😊

I'm glad I reported it. I created a new Grindr profile just as a warning. Someone contacted me and told me the same thing happened to him two weeks ago. The exact same thing - the guy went to his place, went in the bathroom and changed his profile so that it said he required money. He filmed the guy without his knowledge, and then demanded money. In this case, the guy told him he had to go to the ATM. When they got outside, he took a photo of the guy and called 911. He also filed a police report. Fortunately, neither he nor I were hurt. He made out better than I did. My phone was destroyed and I lost everything on it.

If he'd done more - like report it to Grindr, perhaps it wouldn't have happened to me. I reported it so that this guy could be stopped. We need to speak up when these things happen.

Just reading your report scared me.  I think many of us find ourselves in similar situations and ultimately think it is easier just to stay quiet.  Thanks for telling your story.

9 hours ago, westernguy said:

Just reading your report scared me.  I think many of us find ourselves in similar situations and ultimately think it is easier just to stay quiet.  Thanks for telling your story.

Thanks. I wish there was a way to warn more people, especially about this particular guy. I created a new profile on Grindr to warn people and several others contacted me and said they'd had the same experience. But then Grindr told me I was not allowed to do that. They seemed more concerned with protecting this asshole than protecting potential victims.

I had a very roughly similar experience on Grindr much closer to home - in Hong Kong. One morning I was clicked on several times by a guy who did not look especially enticing but I was horny. I was in a medium-priced hotel in the centre of the city and he said it would only take him 20 minutes to get there. I let my dick make the decision and said I'd wait for him in the hotel lobby. 40 minutes later he had still not arrived. I called him and he said he was almost there. In fact it took almost an hour. As I told him I just wanted to cancel the meet up, he suddenly appeared.

He was not particularly good looking and i suppose I should just have given him US$20 and told him to bugger off. I had made sure all my valuables and money were in the hotel room safe apart from US$20 which I kept in a back pocket of my jeans. I wanted to find out if that disappeared as I was having a shower (not large enough for 2 people!) The sex was routine, quick and boring. What later became clear was that he had also been taking photos. He also stole the $20 from my jeans. He then said he wanted $100 more. I told him I had none. He refused to move. So I said I would call security which I did. As he was being escorted to the lift, I became aware of his phone and asked to see his photos. I did not care one jot if the security guard saw them. I am sure he knew exactly what had been going on.

Sure enough, there were several photos on the phone, although thankfully none of my face. I insisted they be deleted. The security guard then took the phone and deleted them himself. I tipped the guard and the guy finally disappeared. The odd thing is that this jerk still clicks on me when I return to Hong Kong. I tell him he's been reported to the police, but of course I did not and could not do that. If anyone plans a trip to Hong Kong and wants his photo, I am happy to send it by pm.