Would you break a friendship over this?

[unicorn]

We spent the holiday week-end at the Dunes Resort in Douglas-Saugatuck, Michigan. While there, we met a former friend of my husband's, whom I'll call "Randy." My husband's ex was, as he was to discover, a scoundrel and a charlatan, similar to Trump. I'll call the scoundrel "Troy." (Unlike Trump, he did end up going to federal prison for his misdeeds). My husband said he quietly broke up his friendship with Randy after Randy's then-boyfriend (now ex), whom I'll call "Xavier," showed him texts he discovered on Randy's phone which documented that Randy slept with Troy while my husband and Troy were together. Upon further questioning, it turned out Troy paid Randy $3000 for the encounter. I felt that this sum was rather considerable, and I'd place the blame mainly on Troy. Randy doesn't know my husband saw those texts. 

I suggested to my husband that he might just confront Randy, letting Randy know how his actions let my husband feel, and let Randy apologize. My husband said he didn't want to do that, but rather leave Randy at arm's length. How would you react if you were in a similar situation? Would your door be open to an apology, or would it be an irreparable break in the friendship for you? Of course, I totally respect my husband's wishes. 

[vinapu]

Your husband is right , no need to re-open all wounds looking for apology which may or may not come and if it does it may or may not be sincere

[PeterRS]

3 hours ago, unicorn said:

We spent the holiday week-end at the Dunes Resort in Douglas-Saugatuck, Michigan. While there, we met a former friend of my husband's, whom I'll call "Randy." My husband's ex was, as he was to discover, a scoundrel and a charlatan, similar to Trump. I'll call the scoundrel "Troy." (Unlike Trump, he did end up going to federal prison for his misdeeds). My husband said he quietly broke up his friendship with Randy after Randy's then-boyfriend (now ex), whom I'll call "Xavier," showed him texts he discovered on Randy's phone which documented that Randy slept with Troy while my husband and Troy were together. Upon further questioning, it turned out Troy paid Randy $3000 for the encounter. I felt that this sum was rather considerable, and I'd place the blame mainly on Troy. Randy doesn't know my husband saw those texts. 

I suggested to my husband that he might just confront Randy, letting Randy know how his actions let my husband feel, and let Randy apologize. My husband said he didn't want to do that, but rather leave Randy at arm's length. How would you react if you were in a similar situation? Would your door be open to an apology, or would it be an irreparable break in the friendship for you? Of course, I totally respect my husband's wishes. 

So many people and different events, I'm not sure I even understand it all. I do get the implication that the "former friend of my husband (Randy)" is not in fact "former" but in fact remains in fact a friend. In general I agree with @vinapu. Although sometimes when doors are open to apologies, they can lead to other unwanted events.

[unicorn]

9 hours ago, PeterRS said:

So many people and different events, I'm not sure I even understand it all. I do get the implication that the "former friend of my husband (Randy)" is not in fact "former" but in fact remains in fact a friend. In general I agree with @vinapu. Although sometimes when doors are open to apologies, they can lead to other unwanted events.

No, Randy has moved to Chicago, and they do not keep in touch. They did bump into each other at the resort, and my husband introduced him, but quickly moved on, explaining why he doesn't want to speak to him. Since Randy had never actually lied to my husband, I personally would have left the door open to an apology and forgiveness, but I see your and @vinapu's point. 

[Lucky]

What was it like staying at The Dunes?