Name Three Gay Men in History You'd Like To Invite For Dinner

[PeterRS]

Just a very general and perhaps light hearted topic

Impresario Sergei Diaghilev

Sergei Diaghilev was born in the Russian city of Perm to a noble family in 1872. Homosexuality in Russia at that time was virtually regarded as an illness and a detriment to success. Not that it did not exist. Russia’s most famous composer Tchaikovsky was very gay, as indeed was his brother Modest, and had all manner of affairs. But he could not shake off a continuing depression that being gay was wrong. Having moved to St. Petersburg, Diaghilev positively revelled in it and was perhaps the only major Russian to be accepted by society at the very end of the 19th century as openly gay – and how he showed it!

When considering a dinner companion from that period, I had first considered his lover and protégé Vaslav Nijinsky, almost certainly the greatest male dancer the world has ever known. But although fabulously talented, Nijinsky was basically shy and withdrawn. Besides, his homosexuality merged into bisexuality after a disastrous marriage and his rapid descent into schizophrenia.

Nijinsky was the star of Diaghilev’s Ballet Russes season in Paris, a company created from stars of the world’s most renowned company, the Mariinsky in St. Petersburg. When the company sailed to Buenos Aires for a season, Diaghilev did not go, allegedly because of a long-time fear that he would die at sea. But some have suggested his real reason was he wanted a travel to Venice where he could spend his days and nights in the company of beautiful young Italian men.

 On learning of Nijinsky’s marriage in Buenos Aires to a woman with no interest in ballet and whom he never really loved, Diaghilev went into a fury, sacked Nijinsky and started a series of affairs with other men in his company. He died of diabetes in Venice in 1929. The man whose ambition was to create only the finest in art died penniless aged 57.

Diaghilev could tell of the gay clique in St. Petersburg which included having young male ballet dancers as lovers and sometimes passing them around. He could tell of Russian society, its views on being gay and the state of the country as it began is slide towards revolution. 

Writer Randy Shilts

As one who had become very sexually active in the 1980s and was at times unbelieving, shocked and afraid of the new gay plague HIV-AIDS, although I have read several books on the disease, my second guest would be the gay journalist, Randy Shilts. There is a great deal more I want to know and Shilts is one of those whose hugely extensive research could tell me much of that. 

In the late summer of 1987 I had received a phone call from someone I knew in London. Well, “knew” is incorrect for I had never met him. I was only aware that he was the lover of a young Japanese who had been my lover until four years earlier. I had not the slightest idea why he was calling me. When he explained that it was to let me know his lover had died that I understood. When I asked how he died, he could not bring himself to say the word, merely spell it out: A-I-D-S. I was shattered. This young man was only just 29. I knew he had played around, even when we were together because we lived in different countries. He had even introduced me to my first Japanese sauna. I decided to fly to London for his funeral, such a sad occasion as much for his passing as for the fact that there were only six people there. In Japan he had been the life and soul of every party. He had so many friends.

Shilts is best-known for his book And The Band Played On. In so many ways it is an amazingly detailed account of the early years of HIV-AIDS. It’s hard to recall now that despite the number of deaths and it having spread literally around the world, little was known about AIDS at that time. What we did know was that if infected with the virus, you were on a relatively long path to a ghastly lingering death. Nothing could save you. I learned so much from that book. Sadly Shilts was himself to die of AIDS in 1994 aged 42.

Diplomat and Spy Guy Burgess

With two guests who were openly gay quite early in their adult lives, I would like my third guest to be someone who was basically forced to live in a kind of self-imposed closet. In particular at a time when homophobia was publicly prevalent. 

So I choose perhaps an unlikely guest in Guy Burgess. For those not British, Burgess was one of five famous British spies recruited by the Russians at Cambridge University in the 1930s. The “Cambridge Five” became so well known that books are still being written about them. The others were diplomat Donald Maclean; diplomat and journalist Kim Philby; art historian and Surveyor of the Queen’s Pictures, Sir Anthony Blunt; and John Cairncross. Philby was unmasked in 1963 and defected to the Soviet Union where he even had a stamp made in his honour!

The austere Blunt and one-time lover of Burgess was unmasked in 1964 and given immunity from prosecution provided he revealed all his knowledge of Russian Intelligence Operations. Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher later informed parliament in 1979 of his treachery. Cairncross was a civil servant who for a time was attached to the WWII code-breaking department headed by Alan Turing. Guessed at being the Fifth Man, like Blunt he was unmasked in 1964 but the fact not made public until named by a Soviet defector in 1989.

Burgess was very gay, known as a “hopeless drunk”, was a member of British Intelligence and later the Foreign Office. Maclean had spent some of the WWII years in Washington where the Americans started to suspect he was a spy. After the war, Philby also spent time in Washington where Burgess lived in his home. Philby got wind of the Maclean investigations, He arranged for Burgess to be recalled to England where he would warn Maclean. Maclean was urged to defect leaving behind his wife and children. Unsure, Burgess egged him on and arranged to drive him to the English channel port. Supposed to leave him there once on the ferry, Burgess joined him. Both ended up in Moscow.

Outgoing, loquacious, outwardly friendly with everyone, especially the guardsmen from the nearby barracks, Burgess was seen by some as a great friend, by others as a boring old fart. I’d love to hear some of his stories of Cambridge, of life in what by this time was extremely anti-gay England, his spying and life in the Soviet Union. I’d try and keep him from drinking too much. But I expect that might be too much to hope for.

[caeron]

Assuming you could ensure your own safety at this dinner and that language was not a barrier...

 

Alexander the Great. I don't think he needs much introduction, but I would be fascinated to hear him talk about what he wanted. Why did he do what he did?

Oscar Wilde. Who also needs little introduction, but I love a good wit who has a way with words. 

An Old Friend. I let time drift us apart until he was gone and there was no chance to catch up. I'd love to have a last catch up with him. I miss his wisdom.

[PeterRS]

I thought about Oscar Wilde for my list but I have read all the plays and several books, and i I reckon I know him quite well. There is no doubt he would lighten up any dinner party, though.

Another i thought of was Michelangelo to learn more about the Renaissance period and all the rivalries between cities etc. And how he got the inspiration for the Sistine Chapel ceiling.

[Keithambrose]

19 minutes ago, PeterRS said:

I thought about Oscar Wilde for my list but I have read all the plays and several books, and i I reckon I know him quite well. There is no doubt he would lighten up any dinner party, though.

Another i thought of was Michelangelo to learn more about the Renaissance period and all the rivalries between cities etc. And how he got the inspiration for the Sistine Chapel ceiling.

Emperor Hadrian would be on my list. Made his boy friend a god. Christopher Marlowe, did he write Shakespeare? James 1 of England, VI of Scotland, politics, etc.

[PeterRS]

I think the James Vi and I situation was explained in a post not so long ago. In case anyone missed it, James VI was King of Scotland. As Queen Elizabeth 1 of England had no heirs, her nearest blood relation would have been Mary Queen of Scots, a great ganddaughter of Henry VII of England. Many believed Mary actually had a better claim to the English throne than Elizabeth, but we then enter murky religious waters best to avoid. Since Elizabeth had had Mary executed, her son became also James 1 of England. And quite a gay lad he was! This at a time when sodomy was punishable by death!!

[Pete1111]

 

 

James Baldwin, American writer and civil rights activist

Truman Capote, American literary figure 

Langston Hughes American Poet, social Activist, etc 

 

 

 

[vinapu]

13 hours ago, PeterRS said:

I thought about Oscar Wilde

Another i thought of was Michelangelo 

 

13 hours ago, Keithambrose said:

Emperor Hadrian would be on my list. 

I'm surprised all there are still alive. Marvels of modern medicine , one thinks !

[kokopelli3]

George Washington, 1st President of USA.

Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of USA.

Barrack Obama, 44th President of USA.

[PeterRS]

4 hours ago, vinapu said:

 

I'm surprised all there are still alive. Marvels of modern medicine , one thinks !

Their state of health is not of concern. Better dead so they can not in fact answer your questions on a forum like this! 🤣

[kokopelli3]

7 hours ago, kokopelli3 said:

George Washington, 1st President of USA.

Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of USA.

Barrack Obama, 44th President of USA.

Seems I misread the title of this post! I thought it said men, not gay men. Thus eliminating Washington and Obama but Lincoln apparently had some suspicious encounters in his younger days.

[unicorn]

Well, I think most people who've looked into it are pretty sure Lincoln was gay. Buchanan, unfortunately not one of the US's best Presidents, was also almost certainly gay. I haven't heard credible info regarding Washington or Obama, though. Maybe LBJ. 

[xpaulo]

On 7/24/2025 at 11:45 PM, caeron said:

Alexander the Great.

Ditto, along with Roman Emperor Trajan and Prussia's Frederick the Great. They both oversaw great expansions in their territories, Trajan had young lovers (probably soldiers) his whole life. Frederick was forced by his father to watch the lover he was going to elope to London with shot by firing squad and then marry a princess, he never had sex or lived with. Women were forbidden to enter his palace. Not sure if that included servants or just noblewomen. Probably also had soldier lovers. When he was quite old he sent his nephew and heir a letter advising him never to be the bottom if he ever had sex with men as he found it unpleasant the one time he tried it.

[PeterRS]

I have often wondered what gay stories Alexander the Great would have to tell. We know of his deep love for Hephaistion and how Alexander was overwhelmed with grief at his death aged 32. We know, too, from Mary Renault's excellent book The Persian Boy about Bagoas, the beautiful young boy from a noble family, castrated and presented to the Darius King of Persia who in turn presented him to Alexander. Almost certainly they became lovers even though Hephaistion was still alive at this time.

Castration, a common practice for millennia in many countries where eunuchs were entrusted with conrol of harems and in some countries like China could wield great power, must have been an incredibly painful operation with many young boys dying in the process. One who fascinates me is a man castrated in order to retain his glorious boy soprano voice who went on to become as famous and as wealthy as many of today's pop stars, Carlo Broschi known as Farinelli. Born in 1705 when the use of the castrato voice was becoming very popular in the world of opera, he had arguably one of the greatest operatic voices of all time. Women fainted in his presence, others roared approval at his vocal feats - with the lung power and strength of a man allied to the sweetness and agility of his unbroken voice - it is unlikely any singer today could match him. But then Farinelli was not gay, so he would not be on my list.  

He was though an unsurprising result of an edict from the Catholic Church around 1592 which banned women from making sounds in churches. Some singers had to take the soprano and alto lines. Hence the increasing tendency for castration, even though most of those mostly poor boys either died or lived desperately sad and unhappy lives. For those who rose to the top like Farinelli, though, they could become fabulously wealthy. 

It was not until the mid 1870s that the Catholic Church banned the practice. The last castrato, a man named Moreschi, sang in the Sistine Chapel Choir which had six other castrati when he joined. He was known as the "Angel of Rome". The only known examples of the castrato voice were made by Moreschi on old cylindrical devices. Although by then only in his early 40s, the voice is nothing like that of Farinelli in the movie. Many regard the thin, often off-key sound as a voice well past its prime. Nowadays the castrato voice has been taken by countertenors who use their head voice to reach the higher pitch. This is a short example by the superb - and very good-looking! - French countertenor Philippe Jaroussky who has been in a long term gay relationship since 2007. 

[unicorn]

There are so many to pick from, but probably Lincoln, Da Vinci, and Alexander the Great.

[vinapu]

I'd opt for ichigo, reader and bkkmfj

[PeterRS]

3 hours ago, vinapu said:

I'd opt for ichigo, reader and bkkmfj

Three guys in history? They're still with us 🤣

[vinapu]

9 minutes ago, PeterRS said:

Three guys in history? They're still with us 🤣

I'm not keen on dining with guys who died , alive and kicking forum members are making much better company

[PeterRS]

5 minutes ago, vinapu said:

I'm not keen on dining with guys who died , alive and kicking forum members are making much better company

Then a new thread might be more appropriate. That could prove quite interesting.

[AussieTop90]

On 7/27/2025 at 9:47 AM, xpaulo said:

Ditto, along with Roman Emperor Trajan and Prussia's Frederick the Great. They both oversaw great expansions in their territories, Trajan had young lovers (probably soldiers) his whole life. Frederick was forced by his father to watch the lover he was going to elope to London with shot by firing squad and then marry a princess, he never had sex or lived with. Women were forbidden to enter his palace. Not sure if that included servants or just noblewomen. Probably also had soldier lovers. When he was quite old he sent his nephew and heir a letter advising him never to be the bottom if he ever had sex with men as he found it unpleasant the one time he tried it.

Oh to be a fly on the wall with Trajan and his boy lovers! 

[PeterRS]

18 hours ago, AussieTop90 said:

Oh to be a fly on the wall with Trajan and his boy lovers! 

In Asia there were also quite a number of examples of friendships/love between adolescent youths and older men. The elite samurai in Japan were well known to have had boy apprentices learning skills in martial arts and the samurai code of honour who in effect became bedmates. The relationships ended once the boys came of age later in their teens. Yet perhaps oddly, I think it is true to write that those who have portrayed Japanese history in recent culture including in books and movies have steered well clear of this "nanshoku" until very recently. None of the hundreds of movies about samurai, including those by the great movie maker Akira Kurosawa, even hint at nanshoku. Historically the names usually given to the practice were nanshoku (男色), shudō (衆道) and wakashudō (若衆道). As the practice was eventually discouraged in the late 18th century, attractive boys took to the stage to act in kabuki dramas, for example, or to become prostitutes.

In Korea there are many references to the love of older men for younger boys, although not quite as young as with the Japanese samurai. During the Silla Dynasty, King Hyegong who ruled from 765-780 AD was known for his adventures with other men. He was even described as “a man by appearance but a woman by nature.” One group of his elite warriors were the Hwarang or ‘Flower Boys’, so called because of their homoeroticism and femininity. During the later Koryŏ Dynasty, King Mokjong (997-1009 AD) and King Gongmin (1351-1374 AD) are both on record as having several male lovers. When his wife died, Gongmin even went so far as to create a Ministry whose sole purpose was to seek out and recruit young men from all over the country to serve at his Court. His sexual partners were called “little brother attendants”! Good fly on the wall hanky panky there, I think!

[AussieTop90]

Yes! I’ve spent a lot of time reading up on the Samurai culture, but wasn’t aware about the flourishing Korean man/boy love. 
 

And of course, the villas of Ancient Rome and Greece would have been perfect fly on the wall viewing! 🤤