Reggio Calabria - fail

[joizy]

Well, I’ve been pretty lucky here in Reggio and surprised at the number of hot guys I’ve met and how many have contacted me - from as far away as Malta! But today was not a good experience. I know we all like to share our victories here, but I do think there is value in sharing our failures as well. I’ve definitely learned from this experience.

A few days ago a guy contacted me on Grindr. He sent a photo from mid-belly down of a very nice looking cock oozing cum. He was thick and his belly was hairy. My mind filled in the rest (lesson 1 learned - don’t depend on your fantasy). We messaged a bit on Grindr and then he asked if I had Telegram. We switched. I had told him clearly what I was looking for (to suck). He asked a lot of questions (I don’t remember at this point and I deleted our chat) and finally I told him I was out walking and would message him when I got home, but to be honest, I wasn’t interested in all of this chatter. I like to either seal the deal or move on.

We didn’t continue that night.

The next night he message me and asked me if I had come. I told him no. He asked why but I didn’t answer.

Today, Sunday, he messaged me and told me he was at the Duomo, which is only a few blocks from where I’m staying. I said he was near. He asked for my location and I sent it. And then I got the Grindr silence… nothing for about 15 minutes. Finally, I told him I guessed he was looking for something better. I imagine when this happens, either they are engaged in multiple conversations or they have actually lost interest and moved on. I have started calling it out because I think it’s incredibly bad behavior, and I’d rather be told that they’ve moved on than to be kept hanging.

He finally responded and said he was trying to come to me. I am not sure what that meant. All he had to do was walk a few blocks.

More silence.

Then he asked if I wanted him to come. This was my way out. I My gut said no, but I figured we were this close, so why not? 

I repeated again that I only wanted to suck and he said it was okay.

Next I got a message that he was outside. I went down to meet him on the street (my entrance is in a courtyard and I don’t know how to give directions in Italian to find the door). I walked out to the street and no one was there.

He messaged me again and said he was in front of the hair salon. I knew where that was, so I walked in that direction, but saw no one.

Then, he came from the completely opposite direction. (Now, I’m wondering if he had done that so that he could check me out while he was hiding at the other end of the street.)

My mind had him as a middle-aged, dark, swarthy, thick Italian type. Instead, he looked more like Nathan Lane. I love Nathan Lane, but he is not my fantasy type. He was doughy, feminine and he came walking up to me speaking a mile a minute apparently complaining about how hard it was for him to find me. I probably had a deer in the headlights look but it took him a while to figure out that I didn’t know what he was saying. He slowed down and spoke louder. I understood some things, but couldn’t find the words to answer him. I was mostly regretting my decision and hoping that his dick was as nice as it looked in the photo.

Oh, I should also add that he smelled like the first floor in a department store. People here seem to be very fond of perfumes, colognes and cheap air fresheners. I don’t mind a nice scent, but I despise cheap ones. This one was cheap smelling (it probably wasn’t, but I didn’t like the smell). He was wearing way too much.

We came up to my apartment and spoke briefly before going into the bedroom. He made the first move by reaching for my crotch. I guess he didn’t understand “I only want to suck” even though I’d written it in Italian. I thought, okay, maybe I’ll just let him suck me off if he can get me hard (not likely since I had no attraction to him at all, but it was his challenge to meet). He took off his clothes and continued playing with me (I had stripped fully). Then, he started trying to kiss me. That wasn’t in the bargain either. He had bad breath, smelled of cologne and sweat and I wasn’t attracted. I was not going to kiss him. I moved my face to the side, but he persisted, and persisted, and persisted. He just would not give up.

He kept moving me around. Putting me on the bed where he started to suck me, but then he wanted me to suck him, but then he tried to kiss me again, this time pinning me to the bed so that I had to push him off of me, and then he wanted to fuck me. I was communicating in every way I could non-verbally that I was not interested in any of those things. I would have let him suck me off, but he was super aggressive and hyped up on too many espresso. 

He told me to suck him, so I got up and pushed him back on the bed and started sucking his cock. It was sticky and a little cheesy (which turned me off). It also didn’t seem as big as it was in the photo. I barely sucked it when he stood me up again and this time tried to turn me around to fuck me.

That was the last straw for me. I picked up my shorts which were next to the bed and put them on.

He began getting slightly hysterical - ‘why, what is wrong?  I came 30 kilometers’ (not to see me though because he said he went to church)…he barely gave me time to answer. I used my translator app and told him that I had said I only wanted to suck but he wanted more. He said, “okay, okay, only suck”, but it was too late and he knew it too because he had also started getting dressed.

I was a little worried that he would get violent or become overly hysterical, but I think he knew deep down that we were not a match. He wanted more than I was willing to offer and he knew it.

The kicker was that he then asked if I still wanted to meet him some afternoon.

Had he had too much wine at church? In what world would he think I’d still want to meet him?

Okay, so now I know. Only one photo is not enough. I need several. I also need a face photo if I am not sure. I was asking for face photos at home, but I’ve been giving Italians some slack since they’re so closeted.

I know some of you will ask for video verification, and I did that in Philly with good results (met a really hot 23-year old student), but not everyone will agree to that and personally I’m not a fan myself.

What would you have done when it went south and he began trying to force you to do something that wasn’t in your agreement?

I didn’t feel particularly bad about ending it when I did, but I do feel like it was a close call.

Live and learn.

[floridarob]

I would've ended it when you saw that he was Nathan Lane, lol

OMG, it just kept getting worse.... but we've all been there 😝

[12is12]

I think it went south much earlier,

during the grindr silence treatment,

And no later than the street encounter...

[PeterRS]

8 hours ago, floridarob said:

OMG, it just kept getting worse.... but we've all been there 😝

Happened to me once when I was visiting my old haunt in Hong Kong for business. I stayed in a Holiday Inn Express quite close to my office, not a hotel I had used before. One morning i felt the need for company and so checked the apps. There was nothing special to interest me, although one reasonable looking guy persisted. So I told him roughly the area I was in and asked where he was. "About 10 minutes away" was the reply. Of course i should have asked for a more precise location but sex was on my mind.

Wnen I did not hear from him for 20 minutes, I called. Now he was only 5 minutes away. So I said I would go down to the lobby and wait for him as lift cards were required to get upstairs. 20 minutes later I was checking the street in both directions. Back at the lift after accepting the morning had been wasted, I heard a voice. "Here I am. So sorry I am late." 

There before me was a guy who was not as good-looking as his pic and no doubt a few years older. Like @joizy, I should just have given him his subway fare and said goodbye. But . . . Never sure of anyone coming directly to my hotel, all my cash and valuables were in the safe apart from HK$150 (about US$20) which I had left in the back pocket of my jeans in case this guy had wandering fingers. Cash had never been mentioned but I always offer transport money.

After showers, we got down to business. Within a few moments he hasked if he could take pics of our encounter, but only from below my waist. Of course i should have said no, the more so as I was not really enjoying this encounter. Why I said "OK" I now cannot recall. But it was all over in a few minutes and I was very pleased this guy would soon be far away. Instead of showering together, he said I should go first. When he then showered, I checked my jeans pocket. The money was gone - hardly surprising. 

Once dressed, he said he wanted "his" fee. I told him he had already stolen HK$150 from my jeans and he was not getting another cent as cash had never been mentioned. He quickly became difficult and asked me to open the safe. Not in 100 years, I told him, adding that if he did not leave with the money which would have more than covered his transport, I would call the hotel security. Still he would not move. I was not prepared to try and fight to get the guy out of my room and so I did as I said: I called security that there was a thief in my room. After about 30 seconds, he did finally leave. But I was not going to let him keep those photos. At the lift, the security guard appeared. I am certain he guessed what had been happening within a nano-second but he was very professional. When I told him about the photos, he insisted the guy show him his phone. It was then I realised he had hundreds of photos on it. The security guard asked which were my photos, had them deleted and then let the guy go down in the lift. I tipped the guard and thanked him profusely. 

There had been so many red flags I shocked myself that I had not been warned by them. Thinking later about the episode, I wondered where he could have come from. There are not many money boys in Hong Kong in the daytime. Besides Hong Kong public transport was excellent and you get anywhere within about 30 minutes unless coming from close to the border with mainland China. And then it twigged. I think he had to have come from Shenzhen across the border with China where I knew there were quite a number of money boys. A subway from Shenzhen would only have taken around 30 minutes for someone also holding a Hong Kong ID card.

But it was virtually all my fault and I learned from it. I did write to the management of Holiday Inn Express in Hong Kong warning about a thief, informing them that he had been ejected from the one i had stayed at and even giving them his photo. Remarkably, on one of my regular visits to Hong Kong two years later, this thief contact me again. He had clearly forgotten the incident. I just texted him that if he showed his face anywhere in my presence, the police would be called. He never did! 

I realise some will say i was stupid and that this guy could have been carrying a knife of some other weapon. But he did not have any carry bag and I could see there was no knife or gun. Still, had be put up a fight, I could have been injured in some way. I learned my lesson.

[joizy]

On 10/6/2025 at 7:08 AM, PeterRS said:

Happened to me once when I was visiting my old haunt in Hong Kong for business. I stayed in a Holiday Inn Express quite close to my office, not a hotel I had used before. One morning i felt the need for company and so checked the apps. There was nothing special to interest me, although one reasonable looking guy persisted. So I told him roughly the area I was in and asked where he was. "About 10 minutes away" was the reply. Of course i should have asked for a more precise location but sex was on my mind.

Wnen I did not hear from him for 20 minutes, I called. Now he was only 5 minutes away. So I said I would go down to the lobby and wait for him as lift cards were required to get upstairs. 20 minutes later I was checking the street in both directions. Back at the lift after accepting the morning had been wasted, I heard a voice. "Here I am. So sorry I am late." 

There before me was a guy who was not as good-looking as his pic and no doubt a few years older. Like @joizy, I should just have given him his subway fare and said goodbye. But . . . Never sure of anyone coming directly to my hotel, all my cash and valuables were in the safe apart from HK$150 (about US$20) which I had left in the back pocket of my jeans in case this guy had wandering fingers. Cash had never been mentioned but I always offer transport money.

After showers, we got down to business. Within a few moments he hasked if he could take pics of our encounter, but only from below my waist. Of course i should have said no, the more so as I was not really enjoying this encounter. Why I said "OK" I now cannot recall. But it was all over in a few minutes and I was very pleased this guy would soon be far away. Instead of showering together, he said I should go first. When he then showered, I checked my jeans pocket. The money was gone - hardly surprising. 

Once dressed, he said he wanted "his" fee. I told him he had already stolen HK$150 from my jeans and he was not getting another cent as cash had never been mentioned. He quickly became difficult and asked me to open the safe. Not in 100 years, I told him, adding that if he did not leave with the money which would have more than covered his transport, I would call the hotel security. Still he would not move. I was not prepared to try and fight to get the guy out of my room and so I did as I said: I called security that there was a thief in my room. After about 30 seconds, he did finally leave. But I was not going to let him keep those photos. At the lift, the security guard appeared. I am certain he guessed what had been happening within a nano-second but he was very professional. When I told him about the photos, he insisted the guy show him his phone. It was then I realised he had hundreds of photos on it. The security guard asked which were my photos, had them deleted and then let the guy go down in the lift. I tipped the guard and thanked him profusely. 

There had been so many red flags I shocked myself that I had not been warned by them. Thinking later about the episode, I wondered where he could have come from. There are not many money boys in Hong Kong in the daytime. Besides Hong Kong public transport was excellent and you get anywhere within about 30 minutes unless coming from close to the border with mainland China. And then it twigged. I think he had to have come from Shenzhen across the border with China where I knew there were quite a number of money boys. A subway from Shenzhen would only have taken around 30 minutes for someone also holding a Hong Kong ID card.

But it was virtually all my fault and I learned from it. I did write to the management of Holiday Inn Express in Hong Kong warning about a thief, informing them that he had been ejected from the one i had stayed at and even giving them his photo. Remarkably, on one of my regular visits to Hong Kong two years later, this thief contact me again. He had clearly forgotten the incident. I just texted him that if he showed his face anywhere in my presence, the police would be called. He never did! 

I realise some will say i was stupid and that this guy could have been carrying a knife of some other weapon. But he did not have any carry bag and I could see there was no knife or gun. Still, had be put up a fight, I could have been injured in some way. I learned my lesson.

Sometimes our little brain takes over. I realize I do have issues setting boundaries, but I am proud of myself for at least stopping it when it finally hit me that it was not what I had agreed to. Younger me would have probably let him fuck me even if I didn’t enjoy it.

[joizy]

Rather than start a new topic, I’ll just continue here.

The adventure in Reggio Calabria continues.

First, I want to say I really love it here. It’s a small city, newish by Italian standards (much of it was destroyed by an earthquake and tsunami in 1908), but old historically. I’ve been mostly eating at home, but the supermarkets and produce markets have been delightful, but what food I have eaten out has been amazing. And, I still keep getting guys hitting me up on Grindr.

Yesterday, a good-looking man in his 30s contacted me and said he was working nearby and wanted a blow job. He said he’d be done in 30 minutes, and in 30 minutes contacted me and came over soon after. It was a relief after so many others had contacted me and then ghosted me.

I met him outside and was pleased to see that he was dressed in a suit (if I have any fetishes, I guess it is guys in suits), and was very good-looking.

We came up and started fooling around.

Okay, long story short, he never came. He got fully hard once or twice, but then would lose his erection. This went on for a while until I could see he wasn’t going to cum and I just laid beside him. We continued caressing each other and then finally he said he had to go. It wasn’t a terrible encounter, but I don’t think it was really satisfying for either one of us.

Today my sexy Argentine neighbor wrote and asked when we could meet. I responded, “when do you want to meet?” and that was the last I heard from him. I am guessing he got a better offer. I still don’t understand why guys do that, but I guess if I were younger and hotter and had multiple offers, I might be doing the same. 

But as I was waiting for his response, I heard from another guy I’d been going back and forth with. His Grindr name is cazzoadomicilio - which translates more or less to “dick home deliver”.  I love the name. He said he is a 37-year-old top who likes to be used kind of like a slave. He had a thin sexy body and a nice cock. The issue was he would always contact me late at night, and then say he had to eat dinner first so that by the time he would get here it would be even later. I was still recovering from jet lag and I normally go to bed early anyway, so it never worked out.

I was glad to hear from him in the afternoon.

He turned out to be everything he said and matched his photos. We had a nice time and he shot a massive load all over me. He then messaged me when he got home and said he had a great time and would like to see me again.

As far as the score goes with wins and losses, I’m still coming out ahead here even with a few fails. 

A few nights ago, a cutie with a nice cock contacted me and said he wanted a blow job. Then he told me he was a “scort”. Turned out he was Colombian. He was asking for 100 euros. He said he also had a friend, but the photo he sent of his friend’s dick didn’t interest me unless I was going to get both for 100. But, because I’m still getting plenty of free dick, I am still not sure if I want to pay, especially just to give someone a blow job. I just figured I’d mention him since I know we have a lot of fans of Colombian men here. He is only the second guy on Grindr to ask for money. And remember, I am 65 years-old, so if they were going to be asking anyone, they would definitely be asking me.

I wrote to the cutie I met last week and asked him if he would be interested in being my guide. I said I’d pay him of course. I think he’s not working here because he’s taking care of his mom and I know he has a car. I thought he might need some extra money, he is super adorable, and we had great conversation. He said he would love it, but he thinks he is the worst person for this because he’s a little ignorant and would not be able to give me a good tour. I told him I don’t want anyone to explain anything to me, I just wanted to see some different places. That’s where we left it. I’m wondering if I should name a price and see if he responds to that. 

Today marks a full week I’ve been here and now that the dust has settled a bit, I can still say it’s been a very positive experience with Grindr. I can see that a lot of the guys who contacted me early on (other than my Argentine neighbor) were not really serious, but maybe hoping for more and when they realized I was not their fantasy just kind of dropped off. I’ve still had enough satisfying contacts that I will miss it when I get back to the sex desert I call home.

I reserved an Airbnb in Palermo for four nights in a few weeks, and I’ve already had guys from Palermo contact me. Whether they will be interested when I am actually there is not clear, but I am looking forward to seeing a little of Sicily and also seeing who ends up in my bed.