Gay visitors in Thai hotels

[Londoner]

 

One poster commenting on another topic mentioned an unfortunate experience in a straight hotel; this set me wondering whether such behaviour is commonplace in Thailand.

I think not; it is true that when I'm with P in a hotel we don't look like a typical bar-boy and his client; he's now forty-three and I'm.... a little older. However, even considering our earliest trips to hotels outside Bangkok and Pattaya  we never faced problems even when he was in his youthful-twenties. Planes, airports, restaurants, hotels....nothing.

The only time when we have felt uncomfortable -  and I  stress felt- was when we were on a Phi Phi Island boat trip from Krabi which included a shared lunch for groups of eight or so tourists. Even then, it was hard to put our collective finger on why we both felt that way and both wanted to leave the table. It certainly wasn't the young Chinese (and noisy)  girls who constituted  the majority of the passengers. The people whom we felt were embarrassed by us were  middle-aged, white and English-speaking.  Only outside did we discover that we both felt the same way. An elderly Italian guy on the boat later went out of his way to be friendly to us. Perhaps he had noticed a frisson.                                           

A question; would a falang visitor in his fifties with a twenty year old Thai girl arouse cold looks or comments?  Was it our sexuality or the  assumption that our relationship was commercial that  aroused the discomfort?

[Olddaddy]

Yes all old farangs would get the same whispering behind his back 

I see it on toktik comments all the time by "fat Karen's"

 

[Olddaddy]

Obviously you must be "cautious" ...is the right word ... perhaps not ...but if you plan to take your boyfriend on a tour group do your research, going on a pub crawl tour group in Soi Bukhao for example may not be a good idea 

It's only a perception that others may be whispering behind your back ...maybe in reality they don't care . 

As for hotels I can only recall one bad experience in 2024 ,October to be precise, no I don't know the exact date , but it was in Bangkok near Khao San road where I met a Grindr date in the lobby 

In the lift a young Australian couple were in there with us and after looking at my Thai Grindr date as she got out of the lift she said to her Aussie boyfriend "disgusting old men with boys ! 

Maybe that should give YOU some inkling ,if that's the right word , INKLING to stay in a hotel closer to the gay district !!!!!

 

 

[Travellerdave]

Reminds me of when I was staying at the Classroom hôtel/bar on the edge of BT a couple of years ago.  The main entrance to the lift and rooms is through the bar, where, virtually in resident are to be found a ground of elderly expat farangs . After taking boys that way to my room I discovered a door leading directly to the lift lobby which I found a more suitable route when accompanied boy-wise. One night entering that way and whilst standing in the lift lobby with boy, we were joined by a younger guy and a very pretty girl wearing not a lot. He was obviously interested in me+boy and commented “not a bad place” to which I replied “serves its purpose”. The small lift arrived and we four got in with the girl keeping as far as possible away from me. I nearly said “don’t worry I’m gay”, but I didn’t, and the doors opened and the two couples departed to rooms with the guy giving me a smiling “good night.”

 

[PeterRS]

On 1/31/2026 at 4:21 AM, Olddaddy said:

It's only a perception that others may be whispering behind your back ...maybe in reality they don't care . 

In general I think that is probably true - but not always. More than 20 years ago I was in Venice with my Taiwanese boyfriend at the end of a 10-day visit to Italy. At breakfast on our first morning in the hotel dining room, he looked a little uncomfortable. When I asked why, he mentioned that a family at a nearby table were constantly looking at him. I told him not to bother, but that clearly did not help. So I told him he should just stop eating for a moment and stare back at them. But he was too shy (or Chinese) to do that. So I got up, went over to this family's table and stood there just looking at them. Clearly confused, after about ten seconds the father asked if I wanted something. I respectfully suggested it was rude and impertinent continually to stare at a young Taiwanese having breakfast with a westerner of any age. If they found my standing gazing at them awkward, how did they think my friend felt when they did the same with him? That put an end to it!

[vinapu]

4 hours ago, PeterRS said:

In general I think that is probably true - but not always. More than 20 years ago I was in Venice with my Taiwanese boyfriend at the end of a 10-day visit to Italy. At breakfast on our first morning in the hotel dining room, he looked a little uncomfortable. When I asked why, he mentioned that a family at a nearby table were constantly looking at him. I told him not to bother, but that clearly did not help. So I told him he should just stop eating for a moment and stare back at them. But he was too shy (or Chinese) to do that. So I got up, went over to this family's table and stood there just looking at them. Clearly confused, after about ten seconds the father asked if I wanted something. I respectfully suggested it was rude and impertinent continually to stare at a young Taiwanese having breakfast with a westerner of any age. If they found my standing gazing at them awkward, how did they think my friend felt when they did the same with him? That put an end to it!

Perhsos they were staring only because he was Chinese looking and they found it exotic. Nothing to do with gay or company.

[PeterRS]

54 minutes ago, vinapu said:

Perhsos they were staring only because he was Chinese looking and they found it exotic. Nothing to do with gay or company.

I thought of that. But there were by that time quite a number of Chinese families actually living in Italy and a smallish number of tourists were already visiting, especially Venice. That's not to say I automatically assumed they were looking at an exotic gay couple. But as I suggested, continuously staring at us was both rude and impertinent and it made my bf feel quite uncomfortable, the more so as we had not encountered such staring in the other towns and cities we visited. I certainly doubt if they would stare at two westerners irrespective of age in such a way.

[mima_bk]

I think Thais have no problem with seeing older farang with a much younger Thai man. They may or may not notice, but i feel they just don't give a fuck. I am little over fifty and my - idk, situationship - is 24, looking 18. If you respect Thai culture and keep showing affection in public to a minimum no Thai will bat an eye. After all he could just be my son. 

Sometimes you get strange looks from tourists, but i came to the conclusion long ago to not give a single fuck what strangers say or think about me. It rather makes me smile because it feels like a confidence boost.

[Olddaddy]

1 hour ago, mima_bk said:

but i came to the conclusion long ago to not give a single fuck what strangers say or think about me. It rather makes me smile because it feels like a confidence boost.

Depends who they are .... certainly a few tattoed Aussie bogans or British chavs may take your confidence away from you ,so don't get too cocky around people like that !!