bobsaigon

It is sometimes impossible to obtain insurance, either for travel or when residing abroad full time. Insurance companies that I've contacted are not interested in covering me because of my age and pre-existing conditions. Fortunately, the treatment and medications I get here in Vietnam are reasonably priced and the same as I would get in America, so there's no point in going back to the States (and my doctor says I should not even think about making a trip like that).

I'm 77 years old with health issues that have put an end to my active gay life, but fortunately I have a partner who cares about me and for me. Two decades of adventures in SE Asia have given me all the fond memories I need to last for the rest of my days. Do I still dream of Asian boys? Absolutely. Take it from me, the dreams never stop.

See the SGT forum for many Phnom Penh reports.

As a447a says, there can be a “perfect reason” to visit Phnom Penh, depending on one’s expectations. It may require a bit more of an effort to find fun. In PP, there is nothing like a Soi Twilight, Boyztown or Jomtien Complex. But a visit to the bars and discos will present opportunities to invite someone back to your hotel. And of course there are the massage venues: Hatha Khmer (very well documented by a447a elsewhere) has the largest selection of “therapists”, but there’s Ganesh and Hero as well. The Other Boards also have several good, detailed reports about gay night life in Phnom Penh.

And I agree with Farangyai. Some native speakers of English can be quite confusing, especially the ones who eat the northern version of boxty too often.

Thanks for the report. Well done. Rambutan is my favorite, stayed many times, love the boys who work there. I wish I could be 55 again. Now I content myself with very pleasing memories of Rambutan and of the massage venues in Phnom Penh. Looking forward to the next portion of your report.

I remember a couple of boys who stayed with me for a week when I was renting a house in Nong Khai. Relaxing days, plenty of sleep, very good Thai food helped them gain a kilo or two. I, of course, expended so much energy in bed with them (one at time, not both visiting at the same time, though in retrospect that would have been ideal), that I lost a kilo or two.

I put my two cents worth in to help anyone who is thinking about sponsoring a Thai BF as a fiancee, not necessarily to help someone who may, or may not, be a troll.

As you say, it was reported that the ban was lifted in 2015, but I have yet to hear of a single couple who have been permitted to get a marriage certificate. I and my Vietnamese partner do follow the developments in this matter and if such a union were permitted, it would be widely reported in the local media. So, whatever we read about same sex marriage being permitted, there is still that missing piece of paper. Lifting a ban on same sex marriage, while denying the same sex couple the opportunity to register their marriage, does not provide an example of marriage equality. And, it is still not possible for a foreigner in Vietnam to officially marry a Vietnamese citizen and thus he could not act as sponsor for the Vietnamese partner's immigration to the US, an option that would be possible if the couple married in Taiwan (assuming Taiwan's recent law embraces foreign/local unions). Also, I wonder about the role of the common understanding of "marriage" in Vietnam. If a couple is allowed to hold a wedding reception followed by officially sanctioned co-habitation, perhaps that is the extent of the same sex marriage ban being "lifted". In Vietnam, any couple, gay or straight, who appear as a couple are considered to be married and no one asks to see the marriage certificate. That may meet the parliamentarians' interpretation of lifting the ban.

PeterRS: You say that Vietnam has already passed a law lifting a ban on gay marriage. I would be grateful to know your source of this information. I've been living in Vietnam for 17 years and have not heard the news. What is allowed: couples can hold a wedding reception, which they were not allowed to do before, and they can put both names on the official Household Registration, but as far as I know, that's it. They are not allowed to officially register as a married couple so there is no marriage certificate.

Part 2 – THE VISA INTERVIEW AT THE US CONSULATE The sponsor is normally not entitled to attend the visa interview but should waiting outside in case the consul decides he wants to speak with him. How will the Consular officer determine if you and your BF have a genuine relationship? Your BF may be required to speak with the Consul in English, at least until Consul can see if you and your BF can communicate in English. There’s a bullet proof glass partition between the applicant and the Consul, and there are interviews going on to the right and left of the applicant, so communication can be difficult. The age difference is not automatically a denial factor and legally cannot be used as such by the Consul. Consul is primarily trying to satisfy himself that you and your BF have a bona fide, caring relationship. And some consuls will be protective of the Thai applicant because after all is said and done, the young Thai really does not have any idea what his life would be like in the US. That’s why you need to fill him in on everything about your life in Atlanta or wherever you’ll be living when he arrives in the US: your job, salary, house, car, details about your children and ex-wife, if any. Any dogs or cats in the family? Let him know that also. Tell your BF about what you have in mind for your wedding (venue, clergyman who will officiate), about your honeymoon. My office in Vietnam has handled a number of same sex fiancée cases and all have been successful. But there are no go-go bars in Vietnam and the bona fides of the relationship is much easier to establish in Vietnam. Consuls in Bangkok are aware of the sex industry, so your BF should have en employment verification letter to evidence his way of earning a living. Also good for him to present a high school diploma. Alexx has made some very salient points above, not related to visa approval but dealing with the realities of your life with your BF in the US. This is something that requires some very careful consideration. If your BF’s case is approved, you will need to marry within 90 days of his arrival in the US. If it is clear during those 90 days that things are not going to work out, then he would need to return to Thailand. There is no way to change from an unfulfilled Fiancée Visa to a Student Visa, in case he would like to remain in the US. My work has been almost exclusively with Vietnamese visa applicants. I would welcome comments from anyone who has had experience with the US Embassy in Bangkok, since procedures differ somewhat from one Consulate to another.

Part 1 - SUBMITTING THE FIANCEE VISA PETITION As Bob suggested above, you should PM KhorTose (or any other successful fiancée visa sponsor) to see if he is willing to share his experience. His case does seem unusual in that his BF had a ten year tourist visa (usable for 10 years but each visit limited to 3-6 months). That indicates that the US Embassy was reasonably sure that he would return to Thailand at the end of his stay in the US because of his comfortable financial situation in Thailand. I doubt this would apply to your 20 year old BF. After you meet your BF for the first time, you are about a year away from confidently filing the fiancée visa petition with US Immigration (CIS). You would almost be guaranteed approval by CIS but when it comes time for the visa interview at the US Embassy, you would need to show a history of communication with the BF (emails, or copies of other printable cyber-communications, phone records) and your several visits to be with him in Thailand. When you do file the Visa Petition, CIS is just interested in whether or not you are legally eligible to sponsor your BF. You would just need to submit Copy of your US passport bio page, or cy of your birth certificate Proof of termination of prior marriage(s), if any Evidence that you have met your BF in person during the 2 years prior to filing the visa petition. With the visa petition, you are not expected to also provide proof of relationship. That proof is what he will need when he has the visa interview at the Embassy in Bangkok. Once CIS has approved the Fiancée Petition, it will be forwarded to the National Visa Center (NVC), for record keeping purposes. NVC will contact you to let you know they have forwarded the petition to Bangkok. The US Consulate in Bangkok will contact your BF for a visa interview. Note that approval of the visa petition by CIS in the US does not mean that your BF can immediately get a visa to the US. It is up to the US Consulate in Bangkok to make that determination, and they will only do so if they believe that the relationship is genuine. Part 2….. coming up