Members Buddy2 Posted September 21, 2006 Members Share Posted September 21, 2006 Has global warming had an effect on client/escorts relationships? I have noticed that clients more and more often refer to escorts whom they are currently hiring as friends or good friends. Several days ago on this site, a reviewer stated that the escort whom he was reviewing had become his best friend. (See Benjamin Nicholas review) I know that this subject has been discussed many times before on the several escort review sites. Before I started hiring escorts, I talked to Aaron Lawrence and the manager of an escort agency in New York City about the ground rules. They both warmed about unreasonable expectation by clients, particularly after the client/escort relationship ends. That was seven or eight years ago. Have things really changed? If so, I am also concern about the pressure this puts on responsible escorts, like Benjamin Nicholas, whose lives move in different directions after escorting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotallyOz Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 A friendship can easily be obtained with the right escort and client. It is not an easy thing to accomplish, as money is the basis for the start of the friendship. Many times one party or the other will not be able to move beyond this. When I owned an escort agency years ago, I often had clients fall in love with the boys. I told the client this was not a wise decision and they wanted to proceed anyway. I have numerous experiences where the two got together and lived for years as boyfriends. Most of the time, it ended up in complete failure. Some of the time, on the VERY rare instances, it worked. Friendships are different than love affairs. I have many escorts that I am friends with that I met and had sex with and now we are only good friends. I also learned that in order for this to happen, the client must be OK with the fact that their friend is an escort and that business normally takes priority. If both parties can get beyond this, they will be ok. If not, they will have major difficulty. One of my best friends ever was an escort that I hired for a 3 way with my ex lover. We fell for the boy and wanted him to be our live-in 3rd. This idea lasted for a few months until we realized that we were much better off as just friends. We then moved the relationship to that of friends only and that was the best thing that could have happened for us. I still found the boy very attractive and I loved looking at him, as he was one of the most beautiful creatures I have ever seen. I also loved his bitchy nature and the occasional temper tantrum. However, we both respected each other enough to let the other move on in life and love. The friendship lasted for several years and there was no one I knew from my past life that I trusted more than him. Most of my friends now consist of people who are OK with the world of escorting. I have met many escorts that I keep in regular touch with. Many I met just fall by the wayside as they progress in life and so do I. I also know that when I look back on it, the good friends I made that I met though escorting would still be there for me today if I needed them. Escorts are some of the most intelligent guys that we have in society. They also know how to get someone to fall in love with them easily. That makes their job very easy. If you want a true friendship with an escort, make sure you move away from money at the key to the fri8endship. I am not saying don’t treat the guy to dinner and a movie. I am saying, separate the 2 as clearly as possible in your mind and in a way that they understand what you want. If they keep pursuing the friendship, you are good to go. This is just my opinion and I know many will have other thoughts on this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Buddy2 Posted September 22, 2006 Author Members Share Posted September 22, 2006 " If you want a true friendship with an escort, make sure you move away from money at the key to the fr8endship." You couldn't have written a truer sentence. As an aside, this subject didn't get much response, but at least i was able to mention Benjamin Nicholas' name without the sky falling down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Shadow Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 >at least i was able to mention Benjamin Nicholas' name without the sky falling down. http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/donderwolk.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BenjaminNicholas Posted September 24, 2006 Members Share Posted September 24, 2006 I see nothing wrong with getting close to someone you're seeing, as long as both people understand that any friendship, much like a partnership, takes work, understanding and isn't always 50/50. Ultimately, i want a 'real life' relationship with everyone that i see. While it's not always possible, i do count many of the guys i see as close friends and would literally drop everything if they ever needed help or support in a time of need. It's impossible to spend extended time with someone, share a bed & physicality and not get attached. It then becomes a matter of keeping that line firmly in place and not letting it blur to a point of deception. Long after i've retired from this industry, i plan on keeping in touch with as many of my guys as i can. Realistically is this possible? I guess we'll see when the time comes... BN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KYTOP Posted September 25, 2006 Members Share Posted September 25, 2006 >Long after i've retired from this industry, i plan on keeping >in touch with as many of my guys as i can. Realistically is >this possible? I guess we'll see when the time comes... Part of the question is...after the money stops and the "sex" stops will you both still really be friends. I quit hiring for about a year because an escort and I became BF's. He also quit escorting. All of the escorts I received e-mails or talked with often and considered friends stopped e-mailing and calling after the money stopped. After I started hiring again I heard from a few again. I asked one why he stopped e-mailing and he said he thought my BF might not like it. I also had an escort that I saw often and considered a valued friend. When he retired he said he would stay in contact and we'd get together for dinner when I was in his area. Shortly there after he stopped replying to my e-mails. When he came out of retirement he sent me an e-mail announcing his return. When I saw him and asked why he hadn't continued what I thought was our friendship, he said he retired due to getting a BF. He felt he was better to cut all ties to the escorting part of his life due to the BF. I was also very much surprised when on numerous occasions my retired escort (ex) BF would tell me what Escorts "really" thought of many of their clients. This included something he had heard about me from a client of his that an escort, that I had thought was a friend, had told said mutual client of them both. I had traveled with this escort and e-mailed or talked with him often. The BF said he is not your friend it is all about the money and he told me to watch and see if the e-mails and calls did not stop. He was right. A good escort will make you think you are great and make you feel like the center of the world, but it goes with the job. If a client really thinks a certain escort his "BEST" friend, he is probably in for a real depressing let down. On the plus side there is one retired escort I'd seen several times that occasionally still keeps in touch. Do I consider him a friend? YES My "BEST" friend or I his? Of course not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members marcanthony Posted September 25, 2006 Members Share Posted September 25, 2006 KyTop: I think your take on the subject is more accurate for the majority of situations. Ben's philosophy is nice, but I think it's highly in the minority. The relationship begins because one party wants sex and the other wants money for it. It's really a set up for an unrequited situation (which is almost always bad) when either or both parties decide that they no longer necessarily want to provide to the other with what was the basis of the relationship in the first place. Can it be different in individual circumstances? Of course. I have a few situations myself where it's happened and I cherish those relationships a lot. But it means that I have to want to be friends with that person without sex, and he has to want to friends with me without money (or gifts in kind). And really... both must happen for it to work. Probably not likely enough to happen for anyone to go into the arrangement with the expectation that it will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BenjaminNicholas Posted September 25, 2006 Members Share Posted September 25, 2006 However 'nice' my philosophy may be, it's honest and it's served me well as not only a top escort, but as one human being to another... I think some escorts (and clientele) forget that this is ultimately still a person-to-person interaction. That being said, you can't deny that strong bonds form between people naturally, whether money or sex is continually involved. As i said above: Being a professional means never taking advantage of a blurred line, but being a good human being means not pushing someone away when they might truly enrich your life. BN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members marcanthony Posted September 25, 2006 Members Share Posted September 25, 2006 >However 'nice' my philosophy may be, it's honest and it's >served me well as not only a top escort, but as one human >being to another... > If you mistook my words for sarcasm, I apologize. I was certainly not questioning the sincerity of your philosophy... just the wisdom of anyone assuming that the majority of escorts would feel that way. It's clear that many of your clients have seen this in you, as they adore you completely, and I doubt that's by accident. Simiarly, I really try to treat escorts well, and so yes I have ended up friends with some... but even for someone like me who enjoys this kind of thing, this is by far the minority case. All I am saying is that everyone should embark down the slippery slope with eyes wide open, for the very reason you say... that it is VERY hard to have intimate relationships with people without getting really attracted. In the case of these relationships, a much higher percentage are doomed to be unrequited... and it's rare that anything good comes of those. I appreciate that you have a great attitude toward your clients, and kudos on that. But surely you are not suggesting that all clients and escorts should embark on their hiring experiences with the expectation that they will become friends. I don't think that's good advice at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Buddy2 Posted September 25, 2006 Author Members Share Posted September 25, 2006 My friendship with an escort whom I had hired for several years ended when he started dating and then became partners with a semi-high profile local attorney who wasn't pleased with his boyfriend's former job & even some of his non-client friends. I was upset, but also knew had badly he wanted a real relationship and this relationship has endured for over four years now. Benjamin Nicholas puts his heart and sole into his career and clients. If he's not the number one escort in the country, Benjamin is in the top five. From reading his reviews, he often picks up the meal tap and even treats long time clients to free weekends at his home. That's amazing in the escort world. But Benjamin has not gone through his post escort period yet. The people who have posted have all had various experience with former escorts, some great and some not so great. I believe that Benjamin is totally sincere about keeping in touch with clients who have become friends, but his life may change and that may not be possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Stephan Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 >A friendship can easily be obtained with the right escort and >client. It is not an easy thing to accomplish, as money is >the basis for the start of the friendship. Many times one >party or the other will not be able to move beyond this. > >I also know that when I look back on it, the good friends I >made that I met though escorting would still be there for me >today if I needed them. Escorts are some of the most >intelligent guys that we have in society. They also know how >to get someone to fall in love with them easily. That makes >their job very easy. If you want a true friendship with an >escort, make sure you move away from money at the key to the >fri8endship. I am not saying don’t treat the guy to dinner >and a movie. I am saying, separate the 2 as clearly as >possible in your mind and in a way that they understand what >you want. If they keep pursuing the friendship, you are good >to go. That's very well said... I have met many clients that are very close to me today. I really believe a long friendship can start between a client and an escort. But it is not always that easy. Trying to be a friend with a client can also be hectic ( not sure of the proper word here ). What I am trying to say, is I ran into situation where it was difficult to be " just a friend " with someone that is in lust with you. It might be difficult for a client to understand I just want to make a friend , and keep the sexual part out of the relation. But by doing so, that same person thought I was either falling in love for him and did not like the sex with him.. And it just ended up being very difficult. Once I crossed that line, I not only lost the person as a friend but also lost him period. It did not happen very often but I still can count them on the fingers. I wonder what others would do in such situation ? There are many great people out there with whom I'd rather be friends and it will happen when I just retire. As Ben said , I would also stay in touch with everyone and meet them on a regular basis Stef http://www.steflacoste.com +33 870 449 763 ~ France +1 310 437 9539 ~ Usa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Funseeker22 Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 >But Benjamin has not gone through his post escort period yet. >The people who have posted have all had various experience >with former escorts, some great and some not so great. I >believe that Benjamin is totally sincere about keeping in >touch with clients who have become friends, but his life may >change and that may not be possible. Very true. BN and I spent a week together and I had the best time possible. We talked a lot and and and I knew all about his live in relationship that he was very sincere and open about. I was not looking for a bf just a good time experience that he provided and he is a damn funny guy to be around and will charm the pants off (private joke) of most anyone he meets. We still keep in touch and our paths have crossed in some cities across the World but not quite at the same time. I consider Ben to be a friend, also a very successful friend, and wish him all the best. We`ll hook (get together) again sometime and I look forward to it. :9 :9 I am familiar with KY`s past friend but only by communication. Unfortunately he tried to play us against each other by alleged negative feedback that was totally untrue. I think that this issue is now resolved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest FourAces Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 > >I consider Ben to be a friend, also a very successful friend, >and wish him all the best. We`ll hook (get together) again >sometime and I look forward to it. I'm sure Ben is an exceptional escort. He has many clients who rave about him. However, he is still escorting so I don't think your comments are appropriate to the discussion in the thread. It will be interesting when Ben leaves the escort business to learn if he can live up to his posted intentions. As KY noted many have good intentions that seem to fade away once they are no longer financially dependent on their customers. Will Ben be an exception, I don't know and either does anyone else. If I were a betting man knowing a little about his character and my limited interaction with him I'd make a prop bet with the right odds that he will maintain a friendship with certain clients. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest epigonos Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 I sincerely believe that most of us have lives that evolve. I for one do NOT keep in touch with most of my former friend with whom I went through thirteen years of public school, four years of undergraduate school, two years of graduate school, two years in the Peace Corps, and thirty plus years working for the same employer. I do, however, keep in contact with a VERY select few of the above groups. I have to believe that same is true for escorts. Once they leave escorting to move on to other things it is only natural that they leave most of their escorting business associates and friend and seek out entirely new groups of associates and friends. I am equally sure that SOME do keep a VERY select groups of business associates and friends from their escort life. And guess what guys -- THAT'S LIFE!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tweety Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 >It's clear that many of your clients have seen this in you, as >they adore you completely, and I doubt that's by accident. I don't think you need to apologize for your sarcasm. I have heard from a few of Benji's clients and from escorts with whom he shares clients how he takes many of his "special guys" for granted, reels them in and sucks them dry often in sexless encounters paid for at top price. I hope this site is not going to become another BJ fan club. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PWIT Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 >>It's clear that many of your clients have seen this in >you, as >>they adore you completely, and I doubt that's by >accident. > >I don't think you need to apologize for your sarcasm. I have >heard from a few of Benji's clients and from escorts with whom >he shares clients how he takes many of his "special >guys" for granted, reels them in and sucks them dry often >in sexless encounters paid for at top price. I hope this site >is not going to become another BJ fan club. Really now? Geez, I haven't met BN, and what you say may be true. But I have my doubts....just too much positive feedback on him by those that know him. I know the controversy over his blog, but never heard the negatives on personal meetings. Maybe you could talk to the clients and escorts you mention and if they stand behind their comments maybe they could post them. Otherwise, it is just gossip or rumor really. Now if he can suck someone dry, count me in! :+ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tweety Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 >Really now? Geez, I haven't met BN, and what you say may be >true. But I have my doubts....just too much positive feedback >on him by those that know him. I know the controversy over >his blog, but never heard the negatives on personal meetings. Hire him if you want, but my views are based on my own past correspondence / negotiations with him and the views of well-respected escorts that I have hired and some of whom regularly post here and on the other site. Benji has a good marketing campaign, but as is the case with Bruno Gaucho, I would contend that a careful reading of Benji's reviews reveals elements that would be routinely and objectively regaded as negative in other escorts. As always the positive, subjective testimonials of Benji offer more clues about the psychology of the reviewer than the reviewed...! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BenjaminNicholas Posted October 1, 2006 Members Share Posted October 1, 2006 Your views are still 'He said-He said' in nature... Previous postings asked for proof-positive of your claims, to which you didn't provide. My reputation for being a good escort stands strong. I refuse to take criticism from someone who's taking shots from behind an anonymous screename. Rather tell-tale i'd say. Marc: I apologize if my last post came off as somewhat acidic. I understand where you're coming from. You, KY and FunSeek made some excellent points. BN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PWIT Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 >Hire him if you want I think I will....but damn it, he never comes to my neck of the woods and I never find myself in the same town as he. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tweety Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 >Your views are still 'He said-He said' in nature... Previous >postings asked for proof-positive of your claims, to which you >didn't provide. Frankly, I just put the ideas out there. I rather delight in your marketing success. All I can say is good luck to anyone for whom a red flag is not raised after reading your posts here, on the oher site and on your blog, and who reflects on your documented "business relationship" with Hooboy. > I refuse >to take criticism from someone who's taking shots from behind >an anonymous screename. Well, as any reader of your blog or your posts on the other site where you outed former clients of yours would not be surprised to hear that you have difficulty with the concept of anonymity. Normally, that is not seen as a good trait for escorts, however apparently on-line "star-fuckers" relax the standard for the likes of you...! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest RR Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 The way I look at it, if there is so much controversy then he must be good and everyone else is just not fortunate enough to get their time with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
