Members TownsendPLocke Posted January 7, 2009 Members Share Posted January 7, 2009 I sometimes hear that I make assumptions about other gay men.Namely that we have sex and are interested in sexual things. I also get the hairy eyeball when I let slip about the fact that I have no problem paying for my fun. Of course I could tear into them about being nothing more than a gelding succombing to PC and conurmist pressure-but I ussually do not So-do you ever get the cold shoulder about being Bel Ami-the porn studio-which I love)versus Bel Ami-the cologne from hemes-which I also love Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotallyOz Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Interesting topic Townie. Yes, I do share what I do with my friends and even if they are not into what I am, they are respectful. When they share their latest portfolio run, they share with me and I pretend I care about that as well. I have no problem with anyone knowing I hire guys. It has never been an issue for me. I do not share intimate details about what one does in bed as it often changes from one person to the next and I hate giving away too much information. I still remember sharing with my family that I owned and operated an escort service at one point in my life and they said, "well, you are happy and that is all that matters." I love being happy and Happy Endings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members OneFinger Posted January 8, 2009 Members Share Posted January 8, 2009 I have a plethora of gay friends and have not disclosed to them that I hire (except for those I've met on this and similar sites). It's just not something that has ever come up in conversation. While I never deny that I'm gay, I do consider myself discrete. I don't have an overwhelming need to discuss my personal life with family, straight friends or co-workers. Therefore, discussing my hiring practices would be totally out of character for me. My family has met many of my gay friends (yes, I'm "out" to them) and we often do things together. They've also met a couple of escorts I've hired for extended / weekend sessions. I've just never disclosed the monetary nature of our relationship and the family has never asked. FYI, my work environment for the past 10 years is one where disclosure of my hiring practices could be problematic. "Don't ask, don't tell" pretty much describes the way I live my life and it's served me well. Although there is a corporate policy that specifically prohibits gay-related discrimination and provides domestic partner benefits, the local entity and "culture" is not that inclusive. I don't have the time or energy to try and change the work environment in Utah. So, I just keep my personal life a non-issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiBottomBoy Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 With the exception of the guy I dated this fall I've yet to have a gay friend who wasn't as slutty/sexually interested as I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cary Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 ....my friends don't really understand my hiring escorts, and think i am going tosomehow be a crime victim........my therapist is rarely judemental, except when talkin about this topic....so, i have begun to avoid telling anyone...that is why boards like this are so appealing to me...people get it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiBottomBoy Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Yeah. It's odd. Guys who have no problems cruising the "dark rooms" of sleezy gay bars will get judgemental about escorts, even though escorts play safe and the dark room dudes are often human petri dishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members biznesman Posted January 24, 2009 Members Share Posted January 24, 2009 alot of it is silly ego - people being judgemental in their comments "oh - I would never pay for sex" I don't argue with them, but do usually make the casual comment "well, when you actually think about it, you are paying a lot more than I am" and 9 out of 10 go silent on the matter (directed at my friends with younger and kept "bfs"). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiBottomBoy Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 Yeah, I love the 50 year old gusy who have convinced themselves that their 19 year old boyfriends are with them for love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members marcanthony Posted January 24, 2009 Members Share Posted January 24, 2009 Yeah, I love the 50 year old gusy who have convinced themselves that their 19 year old boyfriends are with them for love. They are with them (us... though I am not 50 yet and my BF(s) are older than 19... a little, LOL) for love. It's just defining what exactly they are in love with that gets complicated. And in all seriousness... obviously unless you are really delusional it has something to do with the lifestyle, but it also has something to do with the way you make them feel. Everyone likes to be cherished and valued. And by the way, that flows both ways on the power curve... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiBottomBoy Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 It's all about the Benjamins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members biznesman Posted January 25, 2009 Members Share Posted January 25, 2009 It's all about the Benjamins. even I am not that cynical we can only address generalities, of course there are always exceptions, but a successful relationship is one that is mutually beneficial - what the benefits to each are can be love, money, respect, comfort, and any number other benefits and combinations thereof. My comments are directed at the ones that look down on paying for sex when themselves are involved in mutually beneficial relationships where they are supporting someone else and they just do not grasp the similarities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiBottomBoy Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 Biz, I get your point. I was being someone ironic. I think that in a lot of ways we are all either paying for it or getting paid for it. And I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Hell my bartender and I are in a mutually beneficial relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members marcanthony Posted January 25, 2009 Members Share Posted January 25, 2009 even I am not that cynical we can only address generalities, of course there are always exceptions, but a successful relationship is one that is mutually beneficial - what the benefits to each are can be love, money, respect, comfort, and any number other benefits and combinations thereof. My comments are directed at the ones that look down on paying for sex when themselves are involved in mutually beneficial relationships where they are supporting someone else and they just do not grasp the similarities. Biz: You articulated more precisely what I was trying to convey in my typical vague "gestalt" way. But as you say... it has to flow both ways for it to last (well at least the parties have to perceive that it is). And I agree that there is little place in gay life for us to be toooo judgmental with each other and how we choose to look for and find happiness. We are battling enough of that from other sources. And Bi... I've read enough of your posts to know that your Benjamin comment was "off the cuff" so to speak. I completely agree that VERY often, $$ is a significant part of the equation... just not always the entire story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest copa Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 Like I tell my "older" friends that have MUCH younger BF's, if it's really love, than come home tomorrow and say "I lost my job and am broke but at least we still have each other!" watch how fast their ass hits the door! lol Seriously, if it's not about $, than why do you never ever find the reverse and 20 something yuppie guy with a good job with a 50 something who's working in a low paying job?? never happens that way. I have friends tell me "if I ever act like so and so and say it's love with a much younger guy, shoot me!" and twice when this has happened, and I brought it up they go "yeah, but this is different!" It's always different when it is you! it's true we all want to be considered desireable and wanted, it's just as we get older we are wanted for our $ and less for our looks and we shouldn't delude ourselves that it is different in our individual case! did any of us when we were in our 20's find ourselves sexually attracted and in love with guys 30 years older? we all know the answer and if that ever did happen to someone it certainly never happened with the frequency that we see when talking to these friends who think that is the situation with them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiBottomBoy Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 Having money means never having to go to the gym. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members biznesman Posted January 25, 2009 Members Share Posted January 25, 2009 Having money means never having to go to the gym. Better yet, having money means you can have your own gym and be able to watch your "true love" work out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiBottomBoy Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 Oh darling, I'll love you so much more if you get back on the rowing machine! Oops, did I just drop a hundred dollar bill on my cock? How careless of me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members biznesman Posted January 25, 2009 Members Share Posted January 25, 2009 Bi - I enjoy your sarcasm and humor I think we all go through the stage at some point in thinking that the arrangement we have is more special than it really is, I certainly did - and that is a great compliment to the escorts as they did their job very well in providing the bfe. I still get my rational heart broken from time to time. I enter into an arrangement with my eyes wide open and it seems that we have reached an agreement and understanding of what our mutually beneficial arrangement is, but it still does not work out - hence my practice now of maintaining more than one short term arrangements so as not to be reliant and focused on one. But I still have that gym fantasy and watching those workouts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiBottomBoy Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 I think I'm more cynical than most. But I also use sarcasm as a defense mechanism. I'm sorta weird though in that I greatly prefer men sexually but greatly prefer women emotionally. So, I rarely get caught up in the "love" illusion with guys. I do tend to get emotionally attached to girls, but unfortuantly they don't even come close to getting me off as much as guys do. What I need is a girl to make out with who will keep her panties on and a guy to go down on while she goes shopping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
