AdamSmith Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wayout Posted August 21, 2013 Members Share Posted August 21, 2013 Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. 'Mummy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane...' At this point Mummy cut him off and said, 'Johnny, this is such an interesting story, lets save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight.' At the dinner table that evening, Mummy asked little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny started his story, 'I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants Daddy off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mummy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was away on the oil rigs.' Moral: Sometimes you need to just shut up and listen to the whole story before you interrupt! AdamSmith 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hitoallusa Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Aww that kid is so observant.. I want a son like that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 I want a son like that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 wayout and JKane 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? W.C. Fields lookin and wayout 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wayout Posted August 22, 2013 Members Share Posted August 22, 2013 Really not a joke but the nerds among us might appreciate some humor in this.... Of course, no one really needs a mathematical proof that this is so AdamSmith 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest EXPAT Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RA1 Posted August 22, 2013 Members Share Posted August 22, 2013 Really not a joke but the nerds among us might appreciate some humor in this.... Of course, no one really needs a mathematical proof that this is so The first time this morning when I accessed this post the formula was missing. Only the first sentence and last sentence appeared so your opening comment was excruciatingly correct, "Really not a joke..." Much funnier with the formula. Best regards, RA1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JKane Posted August 22, 2013 Members Share Posted August 22, 2013 AdamSmith, RA1 and wayout 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JKane Posted August 22, 2013 Members Share Posted August 22, 2013 wayout 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JKane Posted August 22, 2013 Members Share Posted August 22, 2013 Ooops, got this one here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hitoallusa Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 I love One Direction and I think they are pretty talented.. Kiss You.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted August 24, 2013 Share Posted August 24, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NCBored Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 I'm normally not a fan of the Mallard Fillmore strip, but this one.... http://www.arcamax.com/thefunnies/mallardfillmore/s-1377909 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 I'm normally not a fan of the Mallard Fillmore strip, but this one.... http://www.arcamax.com/thefunnies/mallardfillmore/s-1377909 Agree. Nearly fell out of my chair that he finally drew a funny one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NCBored Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Agree. Nearly fell out of my chair that he finally drew a funny one. I was pretty sure you'd like that one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 It is so rare with that strip! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 A 10-year-old Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man passing by asks, 'What's wrong, lad?' The boy says, 'Me ma died this morning.' 'Oh bejaysus,' the man says. 'Do you want me to call Father O'Riley for you?' The boy replies, 'No tanks, mister. Sex is the last thing on my mind at the moment.' MsGuy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 wayout 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wayout Posted September 2, 2013 Members Share Posted September 2, 2013 AdamSmith 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wayout Posted September 3, 2013 Members Share Posted September 3, 2013 George and Harriet decided to celebrate their 55th Wedding Anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas. When they entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. George brushed her off. Harriet objected, "George, that young woman was nice, and you were so rude." "Harriet, she's a prostitute." "I don't believe you. That sweet young thing?" "Let's go up to our room and I'll prove it." In their room, George called down to the desk and asked for 'Bambi' to come to Room 217. "Now," he said, "you hide in the bathroom with the door open just enough to hear us, OK?" Soon, there was a knock on the door. George opened it and Bambi walked in,swinging her hips provocatively. George asked, "How much do you charge?" "$225 basic rate, $100 tips for special services.." Even George was taken aback. "$225? I was thinking more in the range of $25." Bambi laughed derisively. "You must really be a hick if you think you can buy sex for that price." "Well," said George, "I guess we can't do business.Goodbye." After she left, Harriet came out of the bathroom. She said, "I just can't believe it!" George said, "Let's forget it. We'll go have a drink, then eat dinner." At the bar, as they sipped their cocktails, Bambi came up behind George, pointed slyly at Harriet, and said, "See what you get for $25?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hitoallusa Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 George: It's a great deal because she cares about me and loves me for what I am. Bambi: You are probably right. George and Harriet decided to celebrate their 55th Wedding Anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas. When they entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. George brushed her off. Harriet objected, "George, that young woman was nice, and you were so rude." "Harriet, she's a prostitute." "I don't believe you. That sweet young thing?" "Let's go up to our room and I'll prove it." In their room, George called down to the desk and asked for 'Bambi' to come to Room 217. "Now," he said, "you hide in the bathroom with the door open just enough to hear us, OK?" Soon, there was a knock on the door. George opened it and Bambi walked in,swinging her hips provocatively. George asked, "How much do you charge?" "$225 basic rate, $100 tips for special services.." Even George was taken aback. "$225? I was thinking more in the range of $25." Bambi laughed derisively. "You must really be a hick if you think you can buy sex for that price." "Well," said George, "I guess we can't do business.Goodbye." After she left, Harriet came out of the bathroom. She said, "I just can't believe it!" George said, "Let's forget it. We'll go have a drink, then eat dinner." At the bar, as they sipped their cocktails, Bambi came up behind George, pointed slyly at Harriet, and said, "See what you get for $25?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lookin Posted September 7, 2013 Members Share Posted September 7, 2013 Travel Tip #57 JKane, AdamSmith and wayout 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wayout Posted September 8, 2013 Members Share Posted September 8, 2013 lookin, AdamSmith and RA1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
