joizy

Well, no surprise but the guy from Agrigento was a waste of time. I’ve learned that these guys who try to set things up in advance probably have several options to choose from. I had a strong feeling this afternoon that he wanted more than he was saying when he asked for a body pic, even though I have a pretty clear body pic on my profile. I took it to mean he wanted a dick pic, but as someone who likes to think he’s straight (my assumption) he couldn’t just come out and say that. I still had my hopes up, but just in case, I went with another option that popped up around the same time that he asked for a body pic. A young guy who was looking for mature. He looked cute in his pic and had a nice dick. He said he could come over at 3:30, which gave me enough time to finish the cannolo I was eating, get back and shower and rest a bit. When I got home, he messaged me again and asked if three was ok. I thought he meant 3:00. I guess my response clued him in so he clarified, that he had a friend he wanted to bring. The guy was 52 and had a good dick. It reminded me of the weird encounter I had last year in Puglia where a younger guy brought an older friend and they both took turns fucking me. It was weirdly hot, because I had the feeling they were both married. They were super horny and it didn’t last long. I asked if he had a pic of his friend and he said he was married, but he had a good dick. He then said we both would suck him. Ok, so this guy obviously wanted more than a blowjob even though I made it clear that was what I was offering. I decided to go ahead with it. If nothing else, I’d have a story to tell. When he didn’t show up at three, I read the message again and realized he meant three people, not three o’clock (they use military time here so he would have said 15:00). He showed up a little after 15:30, alone. He was cute in a rough trade kind of way. Slim body, some body hair, no manscaping, light brown hair, light eyes, scruffy. He asked if he could use the bathroom. I was worried he might be doing drugs because he kind of gave me that vibe. He just washed up and came out with his dick out. The sex was chaotic. We kissed a little and he was a good kisser. I tried licking his nipples but he pushed me down on his dick, but then he kept moving around. He wanted me to lick his ass, but it wasn’t clean, he wanted to suck my dick, then he had me suck his, then he wanted to fuck me,but then he wanted a condom, and when I got one, he wanted to get fucked, but he was so tight and it hurt, and he jerked off and came too quickly and that was it. He apologized and said he was too excited. Yeah, this was a guy who didn’t have sex with men often, but really wanted it. As disappointing as the whole thing was, it was also kind of hot. I was sorry his friend didn’t come. When I asked what happened, he said he was married and it was complicated. I guess he couldn’t get away. I think he also told me he was married as well. My Italian isn’t that good. I understand the gist of things, but a lot gets lost. He wants to come back tomorrow. I am not sure I want to do it again unless he brings his friend. And the guy from Agrigento made a bunch of excuses. He got in late. He was working. He is tired. But I can see he is still on Grindr. So much for that one. Also tonight I had two guys from Tunisia, and one from Sardinia message me. I don’t understand the point of messaging someone who is obviously so far away. So far, that’s only one guy I met in Palermo. One more day here, but I will be sightseeing in the morning to Monreale to see some mosaics. I know it will put me in a new area and more guys will probably contact me and nothing will come of it. I might go for the XXL taxi driver in the afternoon if he’s available, just so I don’t feel like it was a total loss.

I arrived in Palermo yesterday and will be here for a few days. First, I have to say I absolutely love it here! Arriving by train felt much less hectic than my arrival in Napoli. It was easy to get to the neighborhood where my Airbnb is, and I love the location, I love the Airbnb, and I loved the host, who met me to give me an orientation to the place. The people are warm, the weather is beautiful, and the centro storico is just stunning. Great food, vibrant markets, manageable size. It’s really the perfect location for me and I am thinking about coming back and basing myself here for a month to explore more of Sicily. As has been the pattern, as I got closer, Grindr began buzzing. Guys hit me up along the way and none of them were feasible since I was on the train and soon our distance grew from a few thousand feet to miles. A few of them were hot, most were not really my type. As I got closer to Palermo, the offers became more enticing. One in particular looks promising. He’s coming from Agrigento, probably married, wants to meet a discreet older guy. He has a huge dick, is very sexy in that swarthy Italian way, and has been messaging me all day today making me incredibly horny. Because I was tired last night when I got in, I didn’t really pursue any of the other offers, and a few messaged me today, but I was too busy enjoying Palermo and none of them were really worth putting a hold on my sightseeing. While I was eating lunch in one of the markets, I noticed a guy on Grindr who was XXL Taxista. I was intrigued, so I wrote to him and asked if he was for hire. I figured it was safe since he was a taxi driver, but hoping “for hire” might be interpreted in the other way. I was hoping to get both a tour and a big dick to suck on. As far as a tour, he wouldn’t quote me a price. He basically said the meter would determine the cost. That’s not what I wanted. But then he asked if I really wanted a tour or if I wanted sex. I told him ideally, I wanted both. He sent me a link to a site for Italian escorts. I haven’t seen anyone mention it, so here it is. https://megaescort.info/gay/palermo I messaged him on Whtasapp and he said he’d charge 200 euros, which I thought was reasonable for a massage and sex. Since I have this guy from Agrigento coming tomorrow (hopefully), I am not sure if I will also hire this guy. I might wait and see if the other guy works out, and if not, try to get this guy to come by on Wednesday. Fingers crossed for tomorrow. Otherwise, I am having a wonderful time in Palermo.

I’m heading to Palermo tomorrow for a few days. Anyone been? Any tips? i’ve had a few guys hit me up already on Grindr and Sniffies but I’ve learned you cannot always depend on advance contacts. Also any other places in Sicily worth a visit. I’m looking at Catania for a few days possibly.

In Napoli station waiting for my train back to Reggio. Looking forward to returning and possibly having some fun before I head to Palermo. Only hooked up with one guy here and it wasn’t that good. I went to Caserta yesterday and a beautiful 22-year-old messaged me on Grindr and then we switched to Telagram. He sent a few videos of him jerking a beautiful, thick cock and one cumshot. Unfortunately, I had to return to Napoli, but was tempted to get a hotel room in Caserta and spend the night. The one that got away.

My plan is to do a little Italy every year now that I am retired. I’m going go base myself in the north next year.

First day in Napoli was pretty much a bust. I went to the supermarket three times and each time it was more crowded and more hectic. I did the hop on/hop off bus and lost my ticket, so my plan to take the other route at sunset didn’t work out. I went to Quartieri Spagnoli to see all of the Maradona stuff and that was fun, but hectic. I find the city to be way too hectic, the people are gruff, it’s dirty, the food is fried and not terribly healthy. Tomorrow, I’m taking a funicular away from the hustle and bustle to a quieter neighborhood. This may be for some people, but it’s not for me. Now, as far as the men, my first day gave me unrealistic expectations. One guy completely disappeared, I guess he blocked me for some reason, even though we had no interaction other than when he messaged me last night and was only a few feet away and then moved progressively further and further away. He was my number one choice if I had any say in the matter. Another guy who messaged me last nice and had a nice cock wanted to fuck me. I told him I would do it the second time we met, and thought maybe…but today he confirmed that he only wants to meet if he can fuck me. I just said no. Quite a few guys messaged me with no photos at all. I just deleted the messages. Others sent photos but no dick pics. I did meet with one guy who looked kind of cute and had a really nice body. My mind filled in the missing details. We all know what happens when we allow that to happen. He initially wanted to meet at 7. Then he said 4, which was better for me. I thought I’d meet him and then have another later in the evening. He came here and I was immediately disappointed. It just wasn’t enjoyable in any way. I was glad when he left. And that is it. I thought I would have met several guys today, and instead, only met one who was a disappointment. This evening, a guy messaged me and sent some mediocre photos and said I could suck him but he wanted 30 euros for coke. I just blocked him. So, my theory about Reggio Calabria being much better in terms of meeting men has been strengthened. Again, when I look on Grindr here, I see mostly visitors, so for Italian men wanting to meet out-of-towners to be discreet, have many more guys to choose from. I don’t know where I am in relation to where most Neopolitans live, but Reggio is much smaller, most of the guys I met there either had cars or lived nearby, and I suspect it was much easier than it is getting around a city like Napoli. Anyway, Napoli was a nice place to visit, but I’m glad I’m only here for a few days. As far as travel, I prefer smaller, less touristy and more local. And as far as meeting men, a bigger city doesn’t always translate into more opportunities it seems. I’ll be back in Reggio for one day before heading to Palermo. Let’s see how Sicily treats me.

I have to say, I really prefer the smaller Italian cities like Reggio Calabria, and even Bari. It is hectic here and the people are rough. I did get a few smiles today, but mostly people seem tired, overworked and impatient. Still, it is very interesting. I walked to the Spanish Quarter this evening and it was what I imagined Napoli to be. I think it is a city that would take quite a while to really get to know and it would be best with a local informant. I am only going to scratch the surface in a few days.

That experience doesn’t surprise me at all. As an Italian-American, I can honestly say that I believe Italians set out in the world to make things as difficult as possible. As I was taking my shower this morning in this beautifully redone and stylish bathroom, I was trying to figure out how to say this - something like Italy is a developing country that has dressed itself up in a very stylish exterior. Things just don’t work here. And the people are not particularly friendly. Yet, it is stunning to look at. And the food. And the men. But, it seems that if we visit, we need to prepare ourselves for one aggravation after another, like my beautiful “fast” train that was 50 minutes late. This Airbnb was the most difficult for me so far. The host immediately wanted to communicate off the Airbnb platform, which we are not supposed to do. That got me worried. He wanted my email address and WhatsApp. He sent me an electronic check in which I had to complete and send him front and back photos of my ID (what exactly is the back of a passport?) and a photo of me holding my ID. Once I did that, he sent me another email with a link to something called ViKey, which is how I was to open the door. When I arrived at my metro stop (he told me to take Linea 2, but Chat GPT told me Linea 1 - Chat GPT was right, of course), I clicked on “get directions” in Airbnb and it showed me nearby hotels. It did not give me directions. I messaged my host on WhatsApp and asked him to send me the address. He read my message but didn’t respond. Then he tried to call me, but I didn’t see that. I copied the address from Airbnb and entered it into Google maps and eventually found my way here. I used ViKey to enter both doors. The door to the building was easy. The door to the apartment was more difficult, but eventually I got in. Usually on Airbnb, there is the WiFi information and often there is a way to simply connect from there. Not here. There was nothing. I messaged the host. He didn’t respond. I called him. He told me to use the QR code on the door. I tried that and it took me back to ViKey and the buttons to open the doors. He finally sent me a screen shot from ViKey. There was another page you could get to if you clicked on “more information”. Of course, no one told me that, I was just supposed to know. There was the WiFi network and the password, which was very long, but I could not just copy and paste it. I had to write it down (fortunately there is a chalkboard and chalk) and then enter it. Mammamia! This morning, I tried to make coffee with the moka pot that is here, but it wouldn’t work. I messaged the host and he said it doesn’t work with the “hob”. I guess the hob is the induction stove. I ran into this problem in Reggio. Induction stoves only work with stainless, and not aluminum. So then why is there a moka pot here if it doesn’t work? I think the worst is over, but I hope he doesn’t change the code on me in the middle of my stay. Other issues that I have had is they only give you one towel. I had to buy a knife in Reggio. When I stayed in Bari I asked him to provide one (I’ve learned it’s easier just to buy things for long stays). But the nice thing is they say nothing about guests. Even in Philly, I was told I wasn’t allowed to have guests. That didn’t stop me. But here, there are no security guards, or cameras, and nothing written about a no guest policy. I intend to have quite a few visitors if these guys come through. Ah, Italy.

Thanks. This is really the first time I’ve experienced this. It’s pretty much what I ended up doing.

I just arrived in Napoli. The train was supposed to be 5 hours from Reggio Calabria. It was very slow moving in the beginning and we arrived 50 minutes late. I thought Mussolini had gotten the trains to run on time… Anyway, as soon as I started to get close to the central station my phone started blowing up. I was preparing for my arrival, checking the instructions Chat GPT had written for me on how to use the metro, and also looking for restaurant options in the station so I could eat before getting on the metro to head to my Airbnb. I wasn’t answering people, but I was looking at their messages. One guy was very insistent. I finally told him I was on the train and was just arriving and asked him to please wait. He kept insisting that I send him photos, even though I have all of the photos I share on my profile, so I finally blocked him, even though I was kind of interested in him. He was way too aggressive. That is one difference I have noted immediately between the guys here and the guys in Reggio. Only one guy from Sicily who messaged me when I was in Messina got aggressive with me. When I didn’t answer him right away, he wrote, “thank you for the response”, so I just blocked him. He was somewhere in Sicily that I was not going to visit, and isn’t a non-response a response anyway? I arrived at the station and found a food court. Had some decent carbonara and a salad without dressing, and then took the metro to my stop. Successfully found my Airbnb, after some struggle with the host, got the WiFi code and finally got connected and settled. All through this, Grindr was blowing up. Guys writing and asking where I was from, even though my screen name says “scambio 🇮🇹🇺🇸” and I say up front that I am an American in Napoli for a few days. My profile is still that I am looking for someone to show me around and do language exchange, because honestly, that is what I want, but these guys are horny and insistent. They jump straight to the end of my profile where I say clearly, “I only suck”. Some question that. Some want to know if they can suck me. Some want to know if I get fucked. In the short time I’ve been here (about 3 hours now), I have blocked several people because they just would not stop, even when I said, “I’m looking for my Airbnb, please wait” or “I just got here, give me a minute”, or if I didn’t respond at all, they continued messaging me and said things like “I’m too ugly?” Or “You’re not interested?” The good news is I have several prospects lined up who look like they might be fun. Nice meaty dicks, nice bodies, handsome faces. One wants to fuck me but I told him I only fuck the second time we meet. If I’m going to do all of that prep, i want to make sure it’s worth it. He kept pushing, but I finally told him “that’s what makes it special” and I think he was satisfied. One thing I did notice is that there are a LOT of visitors. So, I can add one more thing to my list of why I was so popular in Reggio - very little competition. If Italians are looking for foreigners because they feel they are more discreet encounters, then in Reggio there is very little competition because it’s not high on the list of places foreigners visit. I only have a few days here, and I actually want to do some sightseeing, so I am going to be selective about who I meet. So far, it looks encouraging. Oh, also, a guy wrote to me in English (all of the others were writing in Italian) and asked, “Are you in my home?” - he sent only a face photo. We chatted a little and he sent restaurant recommendations and suggestions about places to visit. It doesn’t really look like anything will happen beyond that with him, but it was nice to have a neighbor reach out. Napoli is about 5 times the size of Reggio, so there will be more guys here, but also more competition. Stay tuned.

Yesterday, I took the ferry from Reggio Calabria to Messina, Sicily, right across the strait. It was a 30-minute, easy ride. A lot of new men contacted me while I was there, but I didn’t meet anyone since they were either visiting and could not host, or they were outside of Messina. I’d formerly had guys from Messina contact me since on Grindr you can’t really tell if people are in Calabria or Sicily (it just shows distances). I contacted one of them and told him I was there, but he never got back to me even though he read my message - not uncommon for Grindr. When I returned to Reggio, several guys contacted me almost as soon as I got off the ferry. One was TGTBT - too good too be true - really cute young guy with a beautiful body, amazing bubble butt and huge dick. I asked him where he was and he said Reggio. And then that was it. He didn’t respond to any of my messages. I’m sure he was catfishing me. I will never understand that behavior, but it happens. Maybe someone I rejected earlier trying to have some fun with me. Another guy, 29 years old sent a photo of a nice cock and had several face photos on his profile. He wanted to come over, I sent him the address and he said it would be about 20 minutes. Then he asked if he could bring a friend. I asked what he wanted to do and he said I could suck them both. I’m not a fan of threesomes, and this sounded especially weird, but I figured I’d go for it. I’d have a story to tell. He said he wasn’t sure if his friend was coming or not, which made the whole thing even stranger. When he arrived, I went down to let him in. I didn’t recognize him at first - he looked more German than Italian (or at least my idea of what Germans look like) - he actually looked like my cousin when he was younger, who was half German/half Italian. We came up and he wanted to sit and chat, which was fine with me. He told me he didn’t think his friend was coming. He showed me a photo of the guy on Grindr, and he was definitely not my type. Turned out he was not a friend, just some other guy he met on Grindr who he invited to join him in coming to my place. Ok, strange, right? But this guy, Bruno, turned out to be really nice and very interesting. I opened a bottle of wine, he ran out to get some tobacco because he forgot his, and we sat and talked and drank wine and he went out to the balcony to smoke a cigarette and we talked some more. One interesting thing he said to me was as an older gay, I have so much experience to share and then he proceeded to ask me questions about what it was like when I came out, what it was like living through the 80s and 90s, how it felt being older, etc. I really enjoyed talking to him. We also talked about his coming out experience, life in Calabria, and life in Turino, where he lives now. Finally, we went into the bedroom and had sex. I discovered that he had also catfished me and the dick pic he sent was not his own, but still he had a decent-sized (average) cock and I didn’t mind that he had lied. Our conversation confirmed a few things I had been thinking about why I am getting hit on here more than I have in other places, including at home. First, because there are no bars, baths, etc., there really are no ways for guys to meet each other beyond Grindr, which seems to be the main app in use here. People like me (visitors) are popular because usually we can host, where guys living with families (including wives) cannot, and since we’re not from here, they can be more discreet and not be discovered by people they might know. This part of Italy is much less accepting than the north, where people are more open about their sexuality. We talked about the “daddy” fetish, and Bruno said it’s because people see daddies as kind of virile. So they have a fantasy about being with a daddy. Even though I’m an oral bottom, I still fit into that fantasy, but I imagine if you are a top you’ll make out even better. And then based on what he said when we first started talking, I suspect there is more of a respect for age here than there is in our youth-obsessed culture in the US. I was really struck by him acknowledging that he had things he could learn from me. Even though this is a relatively small city (about 160,000 people), I have really been busy. It’s been so much fun. And even though this was not the best hookup sex-wise, the conversation was incredible. It was so nice to sit, drink wine and talk. I’m off to Napoli for a few days tomorrow, so we’ll see what that’s like. Stay tuned.

I really thought the fun was over, and after a few fails, thought my luck had run out, but it hasn’t. Every day a new guy contacts me on Grindr, and yesterday, one of the ones who had contacted me early on finally came over after several days of messages that went nowhere. This guy turned out to be a really nice surprise. He initially sent a face pic and a full body pic. He was 29, not particularly good-looking, but had an interesting face that kind of reflected the mixed heritage of people in this part of Italy. He looked southern Italian, but you could see traces of Arab and Greek ancestry. He was dark and hairy. He had a nice thin, naturally muscled body and a nice looking cock. After I sent him my pics, he sent me two other pics of his hard cock. It looked nice and thick but I couldn’t tell how big it was because of the angle. Still, it was big enough to enjoy. He messaged me yesterday afternoon and asked if he could come over. I gave him the address and he was here within minutes. We came up and he asked if he could wash first. He went into the bathroom and used the bidet to wash and came out with his pants around his knees and his flaccid dick hanging there. It looked so nice and juicy. We started kissing and I could feel his cock start pressing against me. I reached down to feel it, and it was huge. A really nice big, fat cock. We played a little and I started sucking him. He pulled my head up and began kissing me. I went back down and began sucking more and again he pulled my head up. I wasn’t reading the signs correctly. I thought he really just liked kissing, but actually it was that he was so close. This time it was too late. He pulled my head away from his cock and made a face like “uh oh” and shot a huge load on himself. It was still fun. And the best part was after he washed, we just lay together in bed chatting. He was such an interesting guy and we had a really nice conversation. He spoke very good English, which we switched to after he realized the extent of my Italian. He also spoke Norwegian and local dialect. He answered a lot of my questions that had been building up over the past two weeks. I enjoyed playing with the thick mat of hair on his chest. I thought about trying to suck him again since he had not pulled his pants up, and I think maybe he was hoping I would, but finally he said he had to go. Later in the evening he messaged me again and told me how much he enjoyed it. Looks like we will meet again. I also was hit up by a guy in Catania who seemed really insistent on wanting to meet. When I said it was far, he said he had a car and could come here. I had a hard time believing this hot guy would drive all the way from Catania just to see me. But then he said he was going to Napoli and could stop here on the way. Coincidentally, I am also going to be in Napoli while he is there, so we have plans to meet. Another cutie contacted me last night wanting “soft sex”. When I asked what that was, he said “licking, kissing, caressing and two fingers inside”. I am not sure whose fingers are going into whom, but, I said I was tired and we could do it another day. He is really cute though, so I am happy to try something new if he wants. As far as gay for pay opportunities, one more guy approached me for money. He sent photos of a not very impressive cock. He was 18 and about 30 miles away. I really wasn’t interested and he didn’t mention money at first. He was persistent though and eventually said he wanted money. I told him I didn’t have to pay for dick, which has been true here. Then he said I would have to pay him first. So it was a scam. Yeah, I’m going to send you money and then wait for you to show up. I just blocked him. I am really having fun here and I’ve been meeting guys who I would not normally be attracted to. The guy from yesterday was not really my type, I prefer smooth to hairy, but it was so much fun and besides the sex, just nice to hang out with him. And I really was turned on by the thick hair on his chest. I am expanding my horizons. My Argentine neighbor still comes by regularly, and after speaking Italian initially, then Spanish, we’ve switched to English. He is super sweet, very handsome and has such a big juicy cock that he loves having sucked. Reggio Calabria has turned out to be quite a pleasant surprise.

Rather than start a new topic, I’ll just continue here. The adventure in Reggio Calabria continues. First, I want to say I really love it here. It’s a small city, newish by Italian standards (much of it was destroyed by an earthquake and tsunami in 1908), but old historically. I’ve been mostly eating at home, but the supermarkets and produce markets have been delightful, but what food I have eaten out has been amazing. And, I still keep getting guys hitting me up on Grindr. Yesterday, a good-looking man in his 30s contacted me and said he was working nearby and wanted a blow job. He said he’d be done in 30 minutes, and in 30 minutes contacted me and came over soon after. It was a relief after so many others had contacted me and then ghosted me. I met him outside and was pleased to see that he was dressed in a suit (if I have any fetishes, I guess it is guys in suits), and was very good-looking. We came up and started fooling around. Okay, long story short, he never came. He got fully hard once or twice, but then would lose his erection. This went on for a while until I could see he wasn’t going to cum and I just laid beside him. We continued caressing each other and then finally he said he had to go. It wasn’t a terrible encounter, but I don’t think it was really satisfying for either one of us. Today my sexy Argentine neighbor wrote and asked when we could meet. I responded, “when do you want to meet?” and that was the last I heard from him. I am guessing he got a better offer. I still don’t understand why guys do that, but I guess if I were younger and hotter and had multiple offers, I might be doing the same. But as I was waiting for his response, I heard from another guy I’d been going back and forth with. His Grindr name is cazzoadomicilio - which translates more or less to “dick home deliver”. I love the name. He said he is a 37-year-old top who likes to be used kind of like a slave. He had a thin sexy body and a nice cock. The issue was he would always contact me late at night, and then say he had to eat dinner first so that by the time he would get here it would be even later. I was still recovering from jet lag and I normally go to bed early anyway, so it never worked out. I was glad to hear from him in the afternoon. He turned out to be everything he said and matched his photos. We had a nice time and he shot a massive load all over me. He then messaged me when he got home and said he had a great time and would like to see me again. As far as the score goes with wins and losses, I’m still coming out ahead here even with a few fails. A few nights ago, a cutie with a nice cock contacted me and said he wanted a blow job. Then he told me he was a “scort”. Turned out he was Colombian. He was asking for 100 euros. He said he also had a friend, but the photo he sent of his friend’s dick didn’t interest me unless I was going to get both for 100. But, because I’m still getting plenty of free dick, I am still not sure if I want to pay, especially just to give someone a blow job. I just figured I’d mention him since I know we have a lot of fans of Colombian men here. He is only the second guy on Grindr to ask for money. And remember, I am 65 years-old, so if they were going to be asking anyone, they would definitely be asking me. I wrote to the cutie I met last week and asked him if he would be interested in being my guide. I said I’d pay him of course. I think he’s not working here because he’s taking care of his mom and I know he has a car. I thought he might need some extra money, he is super adorable, and we had great conversation. He said he would love it, but he thinks he is the worst person for this because he’s a little ignorant and would not be able to give me a good tour. I told him I don’t want anyone to explain anything to me, I just wanted to see some different places. That’s where we left it. I’m wondering if I should name a price and see if he responds to that. Today marks a full week I’ve been here and now that the dust has settled a bit, I can still say it’s been a very positive experience with Grindr. I can see that a lot of the guys who contacted me early on (other than my Argentine neighbor) were not really serious, but maybe hoping for more and when they realized I was not their fantasy just kind of dropped off. I’ve still had enough satisfying contacts that I will miss it when I get back to the sex desert I call home. I reserved an Airbnb in Palermo for four nights in a few weeks, and I’ve already had guys from Palermo contact me. Whether they will be interested when I am actually there is not clear, but I am looking forward to seeing a little of Sicily and also seeing who ends up in my bed.

Sometimes our little brain takes over. I realize I do have issues setting boundaries, but I am proud of myself for at least stopping it when it finally hit me that it was not what I had agreed to. Younger me would have probably let him fuck me even if I didn’t enjoy it.

Well, I’ve been pretty lucky here in Reggio and surprised at the number of hot guys I’ve met and how many have contacted me - from as far away as Malta! But today was not a good experience. I know we all like to share our victories here, but I do think there is value in sharing our failures as well. I’ve definitely learned from this experience. A few days ago a guy contacted me on Grindr. He sent a photo from mid-belly down of a very nice looking cock oozing cum. He was thick and his belly was hairy. My mind filled in the rest (lesson 1 learned - don’t depend on your fantasy). We messaged a bit on Grindr and then he asked if I had Telegram. We switched. I had told him clearly what I was looking for (to suck). He asked a lot of questions (I don’t remember at this point and I deleted our chat) and finally I told him I was out walking and would message him when I got home, but to be honest, I wasn’t interested in all of this chatter. I like to either seal the deal or move on. We didn’t continue that night. The next night he message me and asked me if I had come. I told him no. He asked why but I didn’t answer. Today, Sunday, he messaged me and told me he was at the Duomo, which is only a few blocks from where I’m staying. I said he was near. He asked for my location and I sent it. And then I got the Grindr silence… nothing for about 15 minutes. Finally, I told him I guessed he was looking for something better. I imagine when this happens, either they are engaged in multiple conversations or they have actually lost interest and moved on. I have started calling it out because I think it’s incredibly bad behavior, and I’d rather be told that they’ve moved on than to be kept hanging. He finally responded and said he was trying to come to me. I am not sure what that meant. All he had to do was walk a few blocks. More silence. Then he asked if I wanted him to come. This was my way out. I My gut said no, but I figured we were this close, so why not? I repeated again that I only wanted to suck and he said it was okay. Next I got a message that he was outside. I went down to meet him on the street (my entrance is in a courtyard and I don’t know how to give directions in Italian to find the door). I walked out to the street and no one was there. He messaged me again and said he was in front of the hair salon. I knew where that was, so I walked in that direction, but saw no one. Then, he came from the completely opposite direction. (Now, I’m wondering if he had done that so that he could check me out while he was hiding at the other end of the street.) My mind had him as a middle-aged, dark, swarthy, thick Italian type. Instead, he looked more like Nathan Lane. I love Nathan Lane, but he is not my fantasy type. He was doughy, feminine and he came walking up to me speaking a mile a minute apparently complaining about how hard it was for him to find me. I probably had a deer in the headlights look but it took him a while to figure out that I didn’t know what he was saying. He slowed down and spoke louder. I understood some things, but couldn’t find the words to answer him. I was mostly regretting my decision and hoping that his dick was as nice as it looked in the photo. Oh, I should also add that he smelled like the first floor in a department store. People here seem to be very fond of perfumes, colognes and cheap air fresheners. I don’t mind a nice scent, but I despise cheap ones. This one was cheap smelling (it probably wasn’t, but I didn’t like the smell). He was wearing way too much. We came up to my apartment and spoke briefly before going into the bedroom. He made the first move by reaching for my crotch. I guess he didn’t understand “I only want to suck” even though I’d written it in Italian. I thought, okay, maybe I’ll just let him suck me off if he can get me hard (not likely since I had no attraction to him at all, but it was his challenge to meet). He took off his clothes and continued playing with me (I had stripped fully). Then, he started trying to kiss me. That wasn’t in the bargain either. He had bad breath, smelled of cologne and sweat and I wasn’t attracted. I was not going to kiss him. I moved my face to the side, but he persisted, and persisted, and persisted. He just would not give up. He kept moving me around. Putting me on the bed where he started to suck me, but then he wanted me to suck him, but then he tried to kiss me again, this time pinning me to the bed so that I had to push him off of me, and then he wanted to fuck me. I was communicating in every way I could non-verbally that I was not interested in any of those things. I would have let him suck me off, but he was super aggressive and hyped up on too many espresso. He told me to suck him, so I got up and pushed him back on the bed and started sucking his cock. It was sticky and a little cheesy (which turned me off). It also didn’t seem as big as it was in the photo. I barely sucked it when he stood me up again and this time tried to turn me around to fuck me. That was the last straw for me. I picked up my shorts which were next to the bed and put them on. He began getting slightly hysterical - ‘why, what is wrong? I came 30 kilometers’ (not to see me though because he said he went to church)…he barely gave me time to answer. I used my translator app and told him that I had said I only wanted to suck but he wanted more. He said, “okay, okay, only suck”, but it was too late and he knew it too because he had also started getting dressed. I was a little worried that he would get violent or become overly hysterical, but I think he knew deep down that we were not a match. He wanted more than I was willing to offer and he knew it. The kicker was that he then asked if I still wanted to meet him some afternoon. Had he had too much wine at church? In what world would he think I’d still want to meet him? Okay, so now I know. Only one photo is not enough. I need several. I also need a face photo if I am not sure. I was asking for face photos at home, but I’ve been giving Italians some slack since they’re so closeted. I know some of you will ask for video verification, and I did that in Philly with good results (met a really hot 23-year old student), but not everyone will agree to that and personally I’m not a fan myself. What would you have done when it went south and he began trying to force you to do something that wasn’t in your agreement? I didn’t feel particularly bad about ending it when I did, but I do feel like it was a close call. Live and learn.

Thanks. Glad you are enjoying my adventure. I really hope to see the cutie from today again for sex, but now I’m thinking I’ll ask him if he’d be willing to be my guide for a few trips. I’m guessing he’s not working here and might need some extra money. I think the sex would still be free and there is nothing like having a cute local show you around.

I was thinking maybe I got a false impression of this place after the initial flood of Grindr messages and my incredible luck at having a hot Argentine neighbor who liked to get his dick sucked. I started looking at the messages I hadn’t deleted and did some more weeding out which reduced the number considerably, but still, I continued to get new people contacting me every day. The problem, as those who use Grindr will understand, is that guys play games. I had one guy message me who sent a photo of a nice cock. As I was responding to him, my WiFi froze and the message sat there “sending…” for about a minute. In that time, he blocked me. I have a backup Grindr account, so I logged in and messaged him and asked me why he blocked me and he said it was because I looked at the photo he sent and didn’t respond. I told him my WiFi had slowed and then blocked him. Anyone who would block someone for not responding immediately is not someone I want to invest any time in. Another guy sent me some very delicious dick pics and messaged me every day since I got here, but then our communications would suddenly stop. Yesterday he said he would stop by after a haircut. I didn’t hear from him again. More on him in a minute. Another guy messaged me and sent me a photo of a really fat cock. It wasn’t incredibly long, but it was really thick. He was interested and committed to come by around 8:30. I went out to eat and when I got back, he was here in a few minutes. He was very wiry, like he had drunk way too many espressos, not particularly handsome or really hot, but hey, I’m trying the local flavors. Even though my profile is very clear what I am looking for (still looking for a local guide and conversation exchange, but I am clear that I only suck), and even though our conversation confirmed that I only wanted to suck, as soon as he came in, he pulled down my shorts and started sucking my soft cock. There is nothing worse than receiving a blowjob from someone who doesn’t know what they are doing who thinks that if they are super aggressive you will become hard. I eventually pulled him off of me and got him into position on the bed where I started sucking his cock. It was a really nice piece of meat, very thick and long enough to hit the back of my throat and go down slightly, but not long enough to cut off my breathing. It didn’t take him long to come. He wanted to see me again, but I blocked him as soon as he left since he obviously was not honest in his communication with me and wanted more than what I had agreed to do. This morning I thought I’d try with my friend who didn’t show up after his haircut yesterday. In his album he also had a short video of him jerking off, so I was sure his photos weren’t “enhanced”, and he seemed worth investing more time in. After we exchanged “buon giornos” and other pleasantries, he told me he was still waking up. And then the conversation stopped (again). I interpreted it as disinterest and told him I wouldn’t bother him anymore. He asked if I was angry and I just said I wasn’t interested in infinite chat. He said he understood. I told him to contact me when he was ready to meet. After lunch, I came back and took a nap and he messaged me. He said he could come over if I wanted and told me he could be here in 30-40 minutes. One hour later, I message him and asked if he was still coming. Silence… I told him I thought he was playing with me and he insisted he wasn’t. He said he was leaving his house then. More silence. Again I messaged him and asked if he was on his way. Nothing. Again, I said I thought he was playing games. He sent me a voice note saying he was helping his mother. And that he was on his way. At this point I didn’t believe him and was ready to give up, but I restrained myself from writing any more. And then, by a miracle, he told me he was looking for parking. I went out to meet him on the street. I hadn’t seen his face, so I didn’t know what to expect. I was very pleasantly surprised. He was adorable. Classic Italian boy - short dark hair, mustache, wearing a hoodie and training pants, very sporty looking. He was younger than I expected. His profile said he was 26, but he looked younger. We came up and he immediately started kissing me. I caressed his body to find he had a perfectly firm ass, smooth body, was nicely tightly muscled and his cock was not a disappointment. We made out a lot and eventually I started sucking him. It was a perfect cock and I really enjoyed it. He lasted just the right amount of time - not too quick, but not too long that I started to get bored. After he came, we snuggled and chatted about a variety of things. I hope I will see him again. He was definitely worth all of the trouble and now that I know that his mother isn’t well and he is here helping to take care of her (he lives in Milan), I will be more patient (even though I think there are other reasons why he was kind of a flake). So, out of four guys I met so far (this is my fourth day), only one was a disappointment. The other three were really hot. A few things that I have learned which may explain why it’s different here than Bari. In Bari there were a few gay bars and there was also a sauna. Here there is nothing, and Grindr seems to be the only way that people can meet each other. As my cute friend from today explained, it’s very small and everyone knows everyone. People pretend they are straight (this guy had a Chilean wife who lived in the UK). Sometimes in places that are not open, where people are closeted and discreet, you can meet guys you normally would not have a shot at (because they have so many other options). Here, they may be attracted to me because I’m not local and they can discreetly come and see me without anyone finding out their secret. At some point, I really need to stop with Grindr though and start doing some sightseeing. The weather has been a little unsettled, so I’m waiting for it to calm down, and then I’ll begin exploring some of the beautiful towns along the coast. My newly formed impression is not that much different from my first impression. Reggio is a beautiful place, the people are friendly, the food has been amazing, and the guys are plentiful and for the most part, very hot. My friend from today told me he liked daddies like me (he also told me his actual father is a few years younger than me). Only one guy on Grindr has asked for money, and to be honest, he is nowhere near as hot as my friend from today or my Argentine neighbor. So I’d say, if you are reasonably good-looking, in decent shape, or have any other qualities that guys might be looking for, this is probably a good place to meet some hot Italian men. My next trip will be somewhere up north - Milano or Bologna, so we’ll see how it compares since I know the gay scene there is more developed and open. Not sure I will keep reporting, but if I learn anything new, I’ll let you guys know. Now, I have to figure out if I want to continue this conversation with a couple that just hit me up. Couples always confuse me, but it could be fun…decisions…

I rented this Airbnb for the month, but I might also get a place in Sicily for a few nights once I figure out where I want to go. You get a significant discount if you rent an Airbnb for a month. I’m planning on a few day trips, which will probably help me connect with guys in nearby towns and that might turn into me renting a place for a night or two if they can’t host. The guy I was planning to meet tonight said he was tired (he may be playing games) but another guy who wanted to meet in the morning when I was out came by. He was a really hot little guy with a perfect, tight body and nice cock. He lives in London and is here visiting his parents. He desperately needed a blow job and I was happy to help out Honestly, I wasn’t expecting to have any sex, that wasn’t the purpose of the trip, and I would be fine if that were the case. But it’s turning out to be a really nice perk.

I’m back in Italy for a month. After my trip last year to Bari, where I didn’t have as much fun as I’d hoped, I had low expectations. I don’t know why, but so far, it looks like I’m going to be very busy here. I’m using Grindr to meet people, and as soon as I landed my phone started blowing up. I am getting a full range of men contacting me - young (early 20s) to hot daddy types. While not all of them are my type and not all match what I’m looking for, I just counted the profiles I haven’t deleted (because I am interested) and there are 40 prospects waiting for me to connect with, and some of them are very hot. The first (and so far only) guy I met is an adorable Argentine who is half Italian (as are many Argentinos) with a nice big cock, beautiful slim body and extremely handsome face. And he’s my neighbor. He lives five minutes away from where I’m staying. He came here yesterday for a nice slow blow job and appreciated it so much he came back today for more. He said he’d like to come every day I am here if possible. How’s that for customer satisfaction? I haven’t sampled any Calabrese sausage yet, but it looks promising. I have plans to meet another guy this evening who has a very big cock and also likes to receive oral. We were going to meet last night, but he wanted me to go to him and I was tired from walking around all day. Today I am saving my walk for this evening so I can go to his place. As far as Reggio is concerned, I really like it. It’s a small city, new by Italian standards since most of it was destroyed in the early 1900s by an earthquake. It’s very picturesque, on the Strait of Messina with a view of Sicily. The people seem friendlier than in Bari and overall, the city seems to be less worn down than I expected. There are a lot of places that are accessible by train and I can also take the ferry over to Sicily and explore. So, if you are looking for a place to go in Italy where you might be able to have some fun as well as enjoy the best that Italy has to offer, put Reggio Calabria on your radar. I’m staying in an Airbnb and there are no problems bringing people up. Nothing is mentioned in the rules about guests, and the entrance is very private. I think being able to host is an advantage since many of the guys are either married or living with family (except for this guy I’m going to meet tonight). I guess I should also mention that I changed my Grindr profile as I often do when traveling to say I’m looking for conversation exchange partners. I actually was hoping to meet a few people who could help me out with my Italian and maybe show me around in exchange for some English conversation. I only have one line in my profile saying what I prefer sexually (I like to suck), but that hasn’t deterred anyone. I am shocked by the number of responses I’ve gotten - no one wanting conversation exchange yet, but a lot of very horny guys wanting to hook up. I had one guy message me early on asking if I wanted to spoil him, saying he wanted money, but not telling me how much. He was okay and I was considering it because I had just arrived. Then he messaged me again and asked me to tell him if I wasn’t interested. By then, I had an idea of the possibilities and I told him I had plenty of offers. I much prefer to be with guys who want a good bj and not just money, and it’s amazing that at 65 I have so many offers. Daddies seem to be popular here So there you have it. I am very surprised and having a great time so far.

I canceled my subscription after Bezos backed Conmandante Cankles and helped usher fascism into our country. I don't miss it. I limit my Amazon purchases now and try instead to get what I need locally, but when I do order something from Amazon, I order several things so I get free shipping. It's not as convenient as getting free overnight shipping on just about everything, but it also has saved me from buying so much crap I don't need and helps me to support local businesses. I am definitely saving money by not having it.

I have two poppers stories. I came out when I was 17. I had a friend who was a few years older. Back then, we called them “fag hags” - she fit the stereotype - a little chubby, only gay friends who thought she was fabulous, not attractive to straight men at all (let’s just say, she was a bit much). She was my date to our homecoming dance in my senior year. She wanted black flowers. We had been going to gay discos for a few months together by then and always did poppers on the dance floor. We decided to sneak poppers into the homecoming dance. But how would we do them without being detected. She had the brilliant idea of putting them on a tissue and hiding it in her flowers, which we did. As soon as we walked into the cafeteria, where the dance was, people started freaking out. “What is that smell?” They were looking all over. She went into the bathroom and flushed the evidence down the toilet. No one ever figured out it was us. When I moved to SF in the 90s, I was getting acupuncture at a clinic near my apartment. One night I went to a sex club. I had poppers in my cargo shorts pocket. I woke up late for my acupuncture appointment the next day, threw on my shorts and walked very quickly to my acupuncture appointment. By the time I got there, the cap had come off of the poppers and my shorts were soaked. I couldn’t go back and change. As I sat in the waiting room, the receptionist reacted first. “What is that smell?” They couldn’t figure out where it was coming from and fortunately, I was not a suspect. Then when I went into the treatment room and the smell followed, no one made the connection. The window was open and there was construction outside, so they blamed that and closed the windows. I couldn’t not get out of there fast enough. I have stopped buying them, but if someone offers them to me I usually don’t say no.

So true.

Does anyone use Snapchat? It’s a whole other world and I am curious if anyone can help enlighten me. I’ve been asked before if I had Snap,when I asked people for photos and I said no and had no interest in downloading it. But for some reason, after I arrived for a month-long stay in Philadelphia, I downloaded it and created a profile. Not long after that, it came in handy. I was visiting my brother in New Jersey in a small town about 40 minutes from the shore - really in the middle of nowhere. As we were heading back to Philly, I saw I had a message on Sniffies. A guy was saying I should visit a certain Italian grocery store there which I was familiar with because my brother loves it and I am so envious that it’s where he lives. It is Italian grocery Mecca. I told this guy I loved it, and then figured out that he worked there. When I asked him for photos, he asked if I had Snap, and this time I did. He became my first friend. He sent me a video of him jacking off and shooting an amazing cum shot. Then he sent me another. And another. It was wild. I was new to all of this, so I didn’t know the etiquette. I saved them (and still watch them because they are really hot). He’s a really cute NJ Italian deli boy. I so wanted him but he just wanted to flirt on snap (and may have a girlfriend). Then I noticed friend suggestions (after I made sure none of my friends or contacts could find me). They were things like “gooners” and “bators” and lots of guys with some variation of “hung” in their name. I am assuming they were all friends of my new friend, deli boy. I started adding friends and they added me back. Some of them are straight, some haven’t added me back, but quite a few have sent me snaps of big beautiful cocks swinging around, cumming or jerking off. What is this? As one who used to have to sneak into an adult bookstore to buy a porno mag, this is a whole new level of access to sexual stimulation that I am bewildered and intrigued by. Can anyone share helpful insights on how we might use this for fun? Otherwise, I think Snap is useful for those guys who are still closeted and afraid that someone will discover their deep dark secret.

I am heading back in a few weeks and this time I have Snapchat installed, so we’ll see if that makes a difference. I’ll be in Calabria and probably visiting Sicily. Now that I am familiar with the fascination that some Italian boys have with daddies, I’m going to try to use that to my advantage. Fingers crossed. In Puglia, my Grindr profile was looking for a conversation exchange partner, and I will do the same in Calabria. It really is my first priority and I’d rather converse with another gay person than some random stranger where I feel I have to hide. I had one good partner in Puglia, and even though he wanted to kiss me and wanted more that I didn’t deliver, he took me to some interesting places and I feel like it was a worthwhile exchange.

Beautiful photos. I don’t know if people do these things for bragging rights. I think a more likely motivation nowadays is so they can post it on Instagram, so maybe that is a form of bragging. I have found that people aren’t really interested in some of the more amazing things I’ve done. And the things where I experienced hardship were not for any bragging rights (or even to post on social media because I did them before it existed), but because I was not aware that I could say no when a guide suggested I climb a mountain in the heat and humidity of the Cambodian jungle to see lingam (whatever that is), or that I climb a mountain in Tepoztlan, Mexico to see a graffiti-covered temple. I’ve had many painful experiences and now, thanks to my age, I can simply say “no thank you” when someone suggests I climb something. Though I must say, one of the more amazing things I have done, which wasn’t terribly difficult, was to climb to the top of Borobudur to see the sun rise on my birthday. I’m not bragging though.