Porn is just videos of people at work.  

Fundamentally, all the boys we meet in the bars and have fun with, also consider that they are 'working'.

Keeping us happy in the bar and back in our rooms is all work to them, whatever 'connections' we think we make with them as individuals.

Even the boys I have been seeing for years still regard me as a 'customer', albeit now a 'good customer'.

Things can become quite friendly, but take away the money and that friendship rapidly fades.

Can it ever grow into more than work?, well yes it obviously can, but that's far from inevitable.

You are spot on, vessey!

Although I tend to stick with 2 regular guys -1 in Pattaya and 1 in Bangkok - we all know they are actually working - tham gan. I sometimes mention this to them so that we are all on the same page. 

They are lovely guys and very friendly and we have lots of fun times outside of bed as well as in, but they are not my friends in the real sense. 

They have their own friends and don't need me.

There's no formula that can analyze the the nature of individual relationships that had their origin in the exchange of cash for service. It would be naive to think that whatever money we give to the guys we know doesn't affect how they see us. But that's not only not a bad thing, it's to be expected.

Over time they can come come to think of us as their patron. Here's the classical definition from Webster's that I prefer: a person chosen, named, or honored as a special guardian, protector, or supporter.  And to those of us who've enjoyed a years-long relationship, I think this applies.

When does someone go from customer to patron? That's surely up to debate but I think it's measured in the what emotional ties develop. If we're only concerned with what occurs between the sheets--not that there's anything wrong with that--then the whole customer/patron thing probably doesn't matter. But when we begin to simply enjoy the company of that guy, and come to know him truly as an individual, I think friendships can indeed blossom.

I agree with Vessey's comment that it's "far from in inevitable," but firmly believe it's possible.

I think that much of it depends on the emotional satisfaction each derives from the relationship. That, to me, is when we become patrons and, yes, possibly even friends.

6 hours ago, Vessey said:

Fundamentally, all the boys we meet in the bars and have fun with, also consider that they are 'working'.

 

because they in fact are working. They may have fun a a bonus but that may  apply, in right circumstances , to any job.

My father used to say that prostitution is work like any other and at least there's no dust

 

I think it is very dangerous to lose sight of the nature of the relationship. The boys may like you, but they're doing this for the money. 

5 hours ago, caeron said:

I think it is very dangerous to lose sight of the nature of the relationship. The boys may like you, but they're doing this for the money. 

I hardly expected them to hang around a bar or a massage shop without the prospect of compensation.

At my age, I fear losing sight of things other than the nature of the relationship. I think becoming an embittered yet older man who guards his emotions as closely as he guards his wallet poses a greater danger.

I've enjoyed a fairly good life and am comfortable now in my retirement. The guys some of us travel 10,000-plus miles to see don't have much--if any--income at the moment. If I decide to help someone out I do so with my eyes wide open. Worrying about whether I'm being taken advantage of I'll put off until the next pandemic.

That may be true for you, but these forums over the years have been littered with stories about people who lost sight of this truth and lost their hearts and their money when it turned out their fantasy was just that, a fantasy. Being realistic doesn't mean being mean or bitter.

Littered?

Were there any this year?

Last year?

It was just a joke though.

1 hour ago, reader said:

Littered?

Were there any this year?

Last year?

During lockdown? Not much has happened at all during lockdown.

So you're saying nothing like you allege can happen during pandemic?

OK.

How about 2019? 2018? 2017?

 

Haven't we known this for decades? It's nothing new.